Kids say the darndest things

K just looked at me from her bed and whispered "I will be born."

Kids say the eeriest things.

Before she could actually talk, Ella would look up from her cot, stare at us and clearly say "Death!"

um you guys are freaking me out now

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/the-creepiest-things-a-child-has-ever-said-to-a-parent#.ef0qxjVWO

Some of the comments to that article have funnier stories than even the article

I take Kto a Jewish preschool.

This morning in the hallway she pointed to my bag and said "That's daddy's lunch" and I said, "that's right." And she yells, "It's pork! It's pork!"

irl lol

So busted.

Yeah it was really uncomfortable for me in context too, because we've realized the place is too religious for us but we want to keep our daughter there until kindergarten because it's by far the best preschool we've found.

the kid who said "this is the last time i saw you" isnt here today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!

kid otm

my favorite

My 7 year old son out of the blue asked me one day" Dad do we have any midgets in the family"? I responded "no" He says " There goes that plan".

yeah that one

wait is man alive Hurting did I miss something...?

Yes to both.

i was reborn

He is a man alive.

 H
  U
  R
  T
ALIVE
MAN
  G

This is not at all darndest, but this is probably the only audience I can subject to this story. Last night when F woke up I rocked him and soothed him, even though he would really rather just have played. He finally became drowsy again and I put him down to sleep.

When I went to leave the room, he said sadly "dad, dad, dad?", which is the first time he's done anything like that. Heartbreaking!

AWWWWWW!!!

My 7 year old son out of the blue asked me one day" Dad do we have any midgets in the family"? I responded "no" He says " There goes that plan".

omg i'm dying over this

This one is great too

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "I want to be a unicorn!" "Awww, why's that?"........ "So I can stab people with my face." "........."

that has your son's full name and your home address on it, you might want to take it down or have mods do it -- you could repost a redacted version

Yeah, fair enough. I have privacy dialed-up on fb, but not here, obv.

Here's a redacted version:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hzkouprr46mhs72/Photo%20Jan%2022%2C%208%2059%2041%20PM-redacted.jpg?dl=0

Hm. Maybe this:
https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Photo%20Jan%2022%2C%208%2059%2041%20PM-redacted.jpg?_subject_uid=8884439&w=AACS2Bej6gs_F_5pwhbLxc4XWtyuSm7Y0wBNVynqmyP0Bw

yeah but don't forget to ask mods to take down the other one

I did and they did!

Good, I now feel more at ease for little Schwantz Q. Schwantzman of One-Thirty-Schwantz Schwantzing Lane, Schwantzville, New Schwantz

my friend posted this on FB - some of them are p lol
"Parents share their 3yo daughter's quotes":
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/MT2mN

my friend posted a vid of her little one (who is 5) and he's an old soul. and he's talkin passionately about paddleboarding and he says, excitedly "every single day....every single day that you will let me paddle board, well I'M GOIN FOR IT!" as his face changes to that of determined intensity and he pumps his fist.

it was the most adorable thing ever.

Just to add to the list of frightening crap kids say, over the weekend my 4 year old told me out of nowhere that "someday the sun is gonna burn up the earth."

Budding astrophysicist there!

Ivy has said her fourth word! Weirdly, it is "treasure." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I mean it is not a total mystery. She was watching The Backyardigans with Jeff and digging a song about treasure and she said treasure. Then she repeated it tonight to me at Jeff's prompting. But still. Not book, bath, cup, shoe, bus, dance, "Slow down, asshole!" or any of the words she hears a million times a day. No. She said "treasure."

because she is a

Could she be a reincarnated pirate?
<3

Ha, I found the clip they were watching and no wonder she said "treasure."

http://www.nickjr.com/kids-videos/backyardigans-pirate-treasure.html

That's great. I miss our Backyardigans days. I'm hoping for a revival someday before she's too old to enjoy it.

I love that show. Jeff and I would sometimes watch it during a brief time in about 2005 when we had cable, and we even bought a CD (lol) of the music. I realized last night that my desire to have a kid pretty much coincided with those initial Backyardigans viewings. So thanks Pablo, Tyrone, Uniqua, Tasha, and Austin!

I now live in a flat above a bridal shop.

Ava: "These dresses are disgusting."
Lulu: "Yeah, I'm getting married dressed as a ninja! Well, when I have my friendship ceremony with Daisy, we'll both be dressed as ninjas."
Ava: "I'd want to wear a suit."
Lulu: "A BLACK SUIT!"
Ava: "Not everything has to be black, Lulu."

Backyardigans one of the few shows I tried to force them to watch and they just never went for it.

Maybe because Nick Jr showed that pirate episode 248 times in a row.

It's streaming on Amazon Prime now so we can be free of Nick Jr.'s rerun tyranny.

Ava: "These dresses are disgusting."
Lulu: "Yeah, I'm getting married dressed as a ninja! Well, when I have my friendship ceremony with Daisy, we'll both be dressed as ninjas."
Ava: "I'd want to wear a suit."
Lulu: "A BLACK SUIT!"
Ava: "Not everything has to be black, Lulu."

Yes, Ava. Yes it does.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

spent a few minutes alone with my buddy's 18mo old who's learning new words every day. She started coughing for a few seconds and when she was done she looked at me and said "mouth."

hahahaha

big brother (singing): I'm sexy and I know it.
little sister: I'm sexy and I know it clap my hands.

Had to swoop in there with a few corrective verses of "happy and you know it". Hoping like hell this doesn't make its way back to daycare.

Ava and Lulu are amazing and ^^^ is hilarious

wish my 2yo would start saying some darn things already, still mostly grunting and pointing and glossolalia type stuff

One day, I hope to sit down with my son and ask, "So, what exactly were you talking about all those years?" and hearing full explanations.

This morning, K: "We went in the snow, and we made snowballs, and the big house fell down, and the dog was sad"

It took me a few minutes to realize she was actually reciting the plot of "The Dog Who Stopped the War," which had been playing on the TV over the bar in the restaurant we ate in on Sunday. FWIW, *spoiler alert* the "sad" dog was actually dead.