ask a booty cleaner

ahhhhhhhhh

can someone who who has cleaned a pussy and cleaned a booty please write a brief compare/contrast post

booties have been human, pussy has been feline. It's a little creepy when the cat plops down on my feet with her ass displayed, wanting me to wash it.

how has balneol not been discussed here
http://www.balneol.com/
balneol is u+k

Thanks for the flashback, Je55e: Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

http://jezebel.com/counterpoint-shocking-ass-eating-scene-on-girls-was-ba-1678948838

it doesn't look like something designed to give pleasure, despite Williams' ecstatic gasps. More like the kind of thing you might do if you were helpfully trying to knock something loose

http://morningafter.gawker.com/allison-williams-gets-her-ass-eaten-to-the-sounds-of-pe-1678900471/+maxread

peter pan version much better

Countdown to a version of that clip overdubbed with her crowing like a rooster.

Countdown to me not actually clicking a link before commenting on said link.

I would be really annoyed if someone grabbed my head like that while I was cleaning booty.

haha that was my thought too, unless it's part of their known dynamic

aww yeah get on in there

dont wanna drop names or anything but ive had some v hi profile clients recently

well medium profile clients

can't believe i never saw that catgina post

need more deets, BC

I mean I think only WE can be the judge of profile level, right?

medium profile butts

ABC - a booty cleaner

This is the thread where you roll up the rim to win

DJP knew what was going on

thank you for your assistance abc

what are bootyflakes? I've seen them mentioned but what are they?

how do I get rid of bootyflakes? or are they not something one would wish to get rid of? will bootyflakes enhance my partner's enjoyment of booty eating? please advise, booty eater!

(or booty cleaner, rather)

click here for the horrifying genesis of bootyflakes

that...that answers so many questions (all of which I was too afraid to ask)

I have trouble understanding how bootyflakes would be plentiful enough to be visible on a toilet seat. Was the seat somewhat adhesive? Was the person's skin actually sloughing off in that big of flakes? Even if there was sufficient contrast in the color of the toilet seat and the person's skin, that's a lot of skin to lose at once on a normal toilet seat! Why isn't the bootycleaner helping us?

Or DJP, who first documented the flakes?

flake ya tailfeather

Imagine a pudgy, ashy black dude with questionable hygiene

Now imagine him leaving a ring on your toilet seat

Commence to barfing

as a white dude who wears a lot of black I understand the need to scrub/moisturize

One time I was getting a pedicure from a woman with very dry arms. Every once in awhile she'd pause to scratch at them causing a snowstorm of arm flakes to float down into the soaking tub. Towards the end she commented about how she doesn't know why her arms are peeling but they are so itchy, as she scratched and shed all over my feet.

I came very close to Yelping that day.

I have no comments regarding booty flakes but I think that it is a good idea to try to not have them.

I was hoping you'd have something to say about the science/mechanics of bootyflakes.....but thanks, a booty cleaner. that seems like sensible advice.

(also, lol @ "I came very close to Yelping that day")

i hope everyone has had a clean booty in 2015

wouldn't that put you out of a job?

that is not something I feel the need to discuss. please do not negate me.

it may be the work of the world's booty cleaners that's responsible for the clean booties of 2015

does a booty cleaner secretly abhor people who clean their own booties, in the same way that gas station attendants abhor drivers who patronize self-service stations and cashiers abhor shoppers who use self-checkout lanes? by offering free booty cleaning advice on a public message board, is he basically admitting the futility of seeking payment for professional booty cleaning services in our current economic times?

ITB (in this bootyconomy)

(or maybe he's peppering this thread with misleading advice in an effort to sabotage our amateur booty cleaning routines and drive us back to the booty cleaners with cries of 'what have I done wrong!?' I hate to cast aspersions on his character, but it's clear from the last exchange that he is either frustrated with his lack of business opportunities or morally outraged at our lives of quiet defecation)

that booty runs deep

nice to see that a booty cleaner is back to vote in the EOY poll

I never got the impression abc was a cleaner of all, just a prodigious self-cleaner who was into advocacy

i've had kids for 5 years now, and since then i've had baby wipes in the house and clean a lot of butts with them. it occurred to me early on after my older son was born, when changing a diaper, why don't i use these? since then i cannot imagine wiping my ass with just plain toilet paper, it feels so savage and unclean, so now we keep baby wipes in each bathroom and i keep them in my desk at work, too. if i know i'm going to take a shit somewhere besides my house or work, i make sure i take them with me. i haven't figured out what i'll do when my younger son stops wearing diapers and we don't have an excuse to buy baby wipes but i cannot imagine going back to those gruesome earlier days.

https://www.cottonelle.com/products/cottonelle-fresh-care-flushable-moist-wipes

was gonna say

i buy those cottonelle refill packs every week and i use them all over my body tbh

i haven't figured out what i'll do when my younger son stops wearing diapers and we don't have an excuse to buy baby wipes but i cannot imagine going back to those gruesome earlier days.

egon :

i like to be ready for a blowjob at any moments notice

― cutty, Thursday, 23 August 2007 16:37

huh: people who poop first thing at work in the morning

Booty cleaner! I am so glad you are still here for us, and for our dirty, dirty booties.

I want only the cleanest of booties for my pals on the ILX message board!