ahem.
― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 04:13 (twenty-one years ago) link
(thanks that girl)
― bubble tea, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 04:19 (twenty-one years ago) link
Oh my god, this is way too much information, no matter how true the comment might be.
― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 04:52 (twenty-one years ago) link
There is actually a fairly decent book on the subject available on Amazon - called "Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men and Women," and there are two "Ultimate Guide's" for men and women, too, (but I cannot vouch for them.)
The one suggestion I would like to add regards stretching the sphincter muslce (for men and women) - as one who has had it done the wrong way, if you're not stretched, then it hurts like hell. Start slowly with well-lubed fingers and take the time to make sure the muscle relaxes before moving to larger diameter objects. If there is trouble getting the muscle to relax, then try the stretching over a period of days - just teaching the muscle that it's okay to loosen up can be a challenge. I've had good luck with using the slim-line vibrators as a stretching device (the vibrations also seem to be soothing). However, A) cover the vibrator with a condom, always, and B) keep a good hold of the vibrator - those slim-lines can get sucked in rather fast, as they're slender, smooth, lubed, and so forth - going fishing for something like that isn't the most pleasant experience.
I'm actually not a big fan of being on the receiving end of anal sex, though am not opposed to anal sex play. I do, however, enjoy using a strap-on with male partners - closest I'll ever get to being able to get inside a man's body (I can't bring myself to ass fist a man - vaginal fisting of females is completely different). Anyway, it can be an incredibly intimate encounter, so long as everyone moves slowly (especially if it's one's first time). Don't be surprised to feel a bit, well, stretched for the next day or two, when you go to the bathroom - but your muscle will tighten again.
― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 05:46 (twenty-one years ago) link
And along that line of thought, you might want to seriously consider investing in a home enema kit, especially if either of you is squeamish - also, the feeling of anal sex after having an enema is strikingly different than having penetration without the enema - with, it seems that lots more nerves have been stimulated and are waiting for more attention.
― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 05:49 (twenty-one years ago) link
― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 07:13 (twenty-one years ago) link
― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 07:14 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Kiwi, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 07:20 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 07:25 (twenty-one years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 07:48 (twenty-one years ago) link
This said, a finger up the ass during (or right before) orgasm is a marvelous, marvelous thing.
― anon girl, Tuesday, 28 January 2003 08:05 (twenty-one years ago) link
A little, with no pain, is not too unusual or something to panic over - but lot sof blood or pain can signal something bad. For more information, please see:
http://www.gayhealth.com/iowa-robot/network/ask/?record=509
― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 08:55 (twenty-one years ago) link
― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 09:42 (twenty-one years ago) link
I've had this done a couple of times. There was nothing sexual about it tho. It was done by my GP to check to see if I had appendicitis. The second time I did have the condition, so tho I found the experiemce rather unpleasant in retrospect I'm glad he did it.
― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 09:45 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:53 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 14:59 (twenty-one years ago) link
― smee (smee), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:00 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:06 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:06 (twenty-one years ago) link
― smee (smee), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:52 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 15:52 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago) link
What about the women who report that they can only get intercoursal orgasm through anal penetration? How does that work, in your scheme, Kate?
Without lubrication, it hurts like hell. With adequate lubrication and for short durations, well, it's not specifically *unpleasant* but it really depends on how pleasurable you find taking a long, satisfying dump.
Even with lubrication there is a nasty 'biting' point that has to be maneouvered (much like in a car); where if you go to fast: then forget it for a year or so. Lubrication isn't the only key but conditioning too.
I don't think that it's something I would ever specifically seek out by choice, but some men get *such* jollies from it that I would feel mean if I were to deny a boy I really fancied exactly what it was that turned his crank.
There is I guess a sense of "the last taboo" which men would derive pleasure from, it's also tighter, like a fist say.
But use lots of lubrication. And a condom. Just cause you can't get pregnant up there doesn't mean you can't get nasties. And have your man be careful with said condom, because it is somewhat tighter than yer usual vaginal experience.
And don't transfer from there to the other place because that is asking for nasties. Some of the bacteria that live up there shouldn't be transferred.
― Iwasn'tgointobe (Cozen), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 21:27 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 21:28 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 21:31 (twenty-one years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago) link
― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:15 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:23 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:29 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:40 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 28 January 2003 23:46 (twenty-one years ago) link
also a lot of ppl who think they don't like it find out they like it much better if they're playing with their cock or clit at the same time. seems obvious, but a lot of folks don't try that, i think partly b/c on the way in, touching yourself can make you tense up. once it's in (whatever 'it' is) though, touching yourself can change the 'i'm taking a dump in reverse' feeling into the 'my entire fucking spine is having a multiple orgasm, starting at my butt and going into my brain' feeling. one of my friends had an almost scary encounter with this, she was having bottom-sex with her boy after not having seen him for a few weeks or months, and i guess she gets pent-up sexual energy faster than the rest of us, but whatever was 'behind' it she ended up coming for about five or ten minutes straight. she said it was really good but at the same time too much......i think her comment was something like 'if regular sex is a warm fireplace and a glass of wine and a soft quilt then anal sex is like a warm fireplace crossed with a roller coaster.' her boy's quite adept himself, i guess he can have girlstyle (non-ejaculating) multiple bottom-orgasms now when he's on the receiving end of her strap-on. it's almost inspirational.
mess and blood: minute quantities will happen from time to time, though i've never bled from there thank heavens. any more than that means you should probably stop and do something about it. the book ms. windows mentioned talks about 'no pain ever' and if you follow that rule within reason, you'll be fine. (a momentary twinge is no big deal, but unless you get off on pain, the more it hurts the less apt it is to feel sexual.) fingers and tongue help a lot, and they don't have to be just a pitstop on the way, either, they're a very nice place on their own.
finally, some boys and some girls no doubt get off on the power dynamic or the taboo or whatever else. but it's also very very intimate, and can be a really powerful emotional experience. i think that's part of why it's so controversial and scary.......we have so many issues and tension in that part of our body, and when bottom sex doesn't go well (hurts) we can feel oddly shameful, like we've done something wrong or even sinful. mayhaps it calls up old anxiety about toilet training. but when it works well it's really beautiful, you can feel so connected and aglow and full of shimmering lovely feelings. i wouldn't want it every day, but it can be really special. (it feels weird to write that but who cares.)
i hope this doesn't seem like too much but there's so much bullshit and misinformation out there about this that i wanted to do my part to dispel it. and now back to your regularly scheduled witty banter!
― bubble tea, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 02:22 (twenty-one years ago) link
― becky lucas (becky_lucas), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 02:48 (twenty-one years ago) link
And as far as the "what's in your panties" attitude goes, I've long held the belief that people are just who they present themselves to be on the Internet. And that is the person that I think of when I see their names. And I don't give a darn whether or not they are a different gender or age or whatever. I am interacting with the persona that they are showing, not trying to figure-out who they might be in the day-to-day world. And that is that. (I am too groggy to add anything more witty.)
― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 04:22 (twenty-one years ago) link
― becky lucas (becky_lucas), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 04:33 (twenty-one years ago) link
― bobby bedelia (van dover), Saturday, 13 January 2007 07:49 (seventeen years ago) link
― latebloomer da nutty tarkovsky (latebloomer), Saturday, 13 January 2007 08:01 (seventeen years ago) link
― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Saturday, 13 January 2007 15:27 (seventeen years ago) link
― StanM (StanM), Saturday, 13 January 2007 15:57 (seventeen years ago) link
― StanM (StanM), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link
― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:12 (seventeen years ago) link
― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:20 (seventeen years ago) link
― tony conrad schnitzler (sanskrit), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:22 (seventeen years ago) link
― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link
― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link