Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Oh god. I was sitting across from her for the six months before getting laid off. I feel you

;_;

Passive aggressively offer her a mint.

lol

yikes

At the Secret Santa present hand out yesterday, someone was given a small bottle of mouth spray.

I can't believe that after two years, my old boss still wants to get in touch with me. It's not my fault if they have adjustment problems. I used to care about them, told them to call me if they needed help, but it's been long enough, I've moved on physically and emotionally and I derive no benefit from it. Serves me right for caring too much about the place. However it certainly isn't my job to help you with the very young people they've hired.

Ha well tomorrow there's going to be an awkward situation where either everyone will laugh and say "how silly! why are we even bothering to keep track of such a low cost item?!" OR "snoball you're fired".

(all because some middle manager is all bent out of shape about the escalating costs and increasing overdue-ness of a project that they weren't even in charge of until it was a year past it's scheduled completion date)

aaarrgh, good luck snoball

When I see her next I'm just going to look in her eyes and say "I wish we were both dead."

― Je55e, Thursday, November 13, 2014 8:01 PM

really truly needed an irl lol today. thank you.

why are you using dropbox for work files just put your shit on the fucking server, that's what it's for

it's a spy move imo

I just went through this the other day. Dude wanted to work from home and didn't want to fire up the ol' FileZilla app. I get that.

But then I had to get a middle manager to proofread some stuff. He's the guy who will accidentally put his cursor in the corner and start goddamming left and right because his screen went black what the fuck this ALWAYS happens.

So what I thought was a pretty neutral move on the first guy's part turned into an hour-long ordeal with the second dude.

aaarrgh, good luck snoball

Thanks but it turned out OK. And by OK, I mean the middle manager in question, who isn't even my manager, bottled out of directly confronting me and also called off another middle manager he was planning to use, I don't know, as some kind of attack dog or something. Maybe my e-mail where I told him 'I authorised the relocation of the equipment and who cares anyway because that gear was cheap new and after six months next to worthless now so what of it?' put him off a tad. I feel in two minds about it, on the one hand it's obvs a result that I was able to 'win' this (as much as anyone is able to 'win' a pointless argument with pointless middle management at work) without actually having to go all Henry Rollins, in the Sun Tsu 'win a battle without actual fighting' sense. On the other hand, I kind of feel cheated out of a chance to slap down some silly bugger. All that adrenaline gone to waste. And he's probably going to get fired anyway, because he lacks the requisite laisez-faire 'tude to deal with the shitty mess of a project he's inherited. So I'll not have the opportunity again. FFS I haven't even met the guy in person, at most seen him across the crowded room of the weekly Whispering Olympics AKA the pissweak pep talk management gives to us mud shovellers once a week.

In other news, the CIO has the personality of a cardboard cutout. On noticeboard of the main office, there's a double page magazine interview with the guy. I can't tell if it's an actual genuine interview from some business magazine, or an interview that's been mocked up by our art department to make the CIO look like he has a personality, or a parody that someone's made as a piss-take.

We're in the middle of a data migration when lots went wrong, and in the process of fixing it a bunch of key software got *deleted entirely*

I just heard the Brand New VP down the hall (who fired my Favorite Boss a few weeks ago) say "You want an update? Everything is broken, nothing works, and we're all pissed off and stressed."

Had to resist the urge to say WELCOME TO THE ORGANIZATION

the data needs some help sometimes
http://www.iceposter.com/thumbs/MOV_9feafcbe_b.jpg

i guess it was kind of a smartass move but i just made a new name/placard to hang on the outside of my cube which features my first name in 280 point bold and my last name in 48 point. i have been called by my last name so, so many times at my new job (going on 3 months now). i'm used to it happening frequently because i suffer from the curse of having three first names, but somehow it's happening here at a higher order of magnitude.

lol.

Last week, I asked a coworker in passing whether they were heading up to the meeting and they replied "no, I'm going to use the litterbox".

god i would love to work with cats

although herding them all up for a meeting, i mean, well you know

That used to happen to my former office mate all the time, too. She had two names that Americans think of as Chinese last names that were also one letter away from rhyming and the fucked up permutations of her name that people who had worked with her for seven years would come up with were mind boggling.

But this is the same office that would often send correspondence to the other person on our floor who shared my first name (spelled differently, though) even though our last names were different. This included the time HR came into her cubicle to personally tell her to come to a meeting about a payroll fuck up, and didn't realize that she wasn't me until she saw my name on some documentation and let them know that they had the wrong Jen(n)ifer. She had worked there for something like 20 years at that point.

i've probably moaned about this before, but in my shittier jobs i invariably got called by the same amalgamation of my first initial and bits of my last name. like if my name was lee windsor i'd get called lindsay.

it's still early on here so i'm trying to correct it while there's still time, but it can be pretty demoralizing. at my last position (same org, different city and subject matter) i was on very friendly terms with pretty much everyone that i saw on a daily or weekly basis, hundreds of people. so to switch here to a new position, knowing no one, and literally half of the interactions are people wandering by my desk saying "Hi Scott, how are you?" and walking off before i can respond...it feels like i failed 9th grade and have been sent back to 5th grade in a different school district

but it's ok, my cool new placard will fix everything!

Boss got a bill from the HVAC repair company that included a $45 "Trip/Fuel Surcharge." She wrote them a letter saying that she would not pay $45 for fuel because that was practically a full tank of gas for a 2 mile round trip.

The HVAC bookkeeper called and told me that the $45 was a standard surcharge on all service calls. Their invoices going back to 2011 all show that charge.

The bill is way past due but my boss now wants ME to call the bookkeeper and tell her that $45 for a 2 mile round trip is gouging and she wants an adjustment to reflect a reasonable actual amount of gas used.

Last week, I asked a coworker in passing whether they were heading up to the meeting and they replied "no, I'm going to use the litterbox".

This is awesome.

The bill is way past due but my boss now wants ME to call the bookkeeper

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
stupid!
annoying!

It's ultra annoying that she has been paying the surcharges in previous bills but now suddenly has a bee in her bonnet about this one. If this were the first one, I think you could manage to gin up enough righteous indignation but this is absurd.

She's gotten really fucking crabby and negative lately because she has some kind of tricky kidney problems or maybe-you-have-lupus? so she has some excuse but man, what a fucking crabcake.

Someone from upper management sent a group e-mail telling us that we could all come in wearing casual dress tomorrow. Unless we're customer facing. Which is practically all of us. Except this doesn't even apply to the half of us (including me) who are off tomorrow. Great motivation job, upper management team guy!

office is closing at three, which is when the full-time employees will depart (the handful that are even here, anyway). if part-timers leave, will they be paid for the rest of their shifts? do they have to sit in front of their computers in an empty office for three more hours (there's nothing to do) to get paid? is it 'legal' to fill out a timesheet saying they worked the missing hours if they didn't?

Guy in my office has spent the past hour on speakerphone to some poor bastard, reading out a 15-page questionnaire question by question and expecting the respondent to have all the answers at his fingertips instead of, you know, emailing him the fucking questionnaire.

p sure i've bitched abt this guy before but he came in late/called out so much that they switched him from FT to PT. He now comes in 3 days a week and he has not ONCE come in on time for all 3 of his days (he will either call out or come in late for at least one of them, often 2 or all 3). When I say "late" I don't mean like 10 or 30 minutes, I mean a minimum of 2 or 3 hours. Often times he'll come in and then take his lunch break an hour later. He also refuses to come in on one of his 4 days off to make up the time because he has his schedule set up the way it is and it works for him and that's the way it is.

He's incredibly defensive and argumentative, nothing is ever his fault, he's the most hilariously pathetic Apple fanboy (it's kind of fun to fuck w/ him actually because he'll get so riled up if you ever insult anything Apple ever), he's just a dummy.

It shouldn't bother me but we started at the same time and used to be pals but our relationship has definitely soured since we started a year and a half ago (seemingly unbeknownst to him). So I have to talk to him all the time and he comes on lunch break w/ us sometimes and it's not really possible to avoid him entirely

but like damn dude why do you still work here?

I mean we work at a help desk call ctr so there are 100+ other ppl that do the same thing that we do, so he totally just slips under the radar. I kind of want to spitefully bring it up to the HR ppl and be like "why are you letting this fly?"

several people i work with have intentionally strange laughing styles, and it has become something of a competition of late

Do any of them sound like Goofy? because that would be awesome.

one of them is somewhat reminiscent of a throatier goofy

I say to that coworker, "give us pure unadulterated goofy or go home."

or Krusty.

xpost

one of them does an extremely high pitched squeaky laugh for long periods of time, and everyone just LOVES IT. but when she is caught by surprise by something funny, she laughs at a normal pitch. super contrived.

tempted to scratch marks on my dell every time a certain someone says 'workflow'

so like ive been promoted and that's great etc. its a panel format, I landed high on it and expected to get my pick of roles, thats great etc. this didnt happen but as it happened I was told I'd be getting a position that I'd have wanted anyway so that was fine, no harm no foul- even if I found out through social media last Thursday night hey I'm not into irl drama it was no skin off my nose. news was due to break officially (along with several other similar appts) on monday- I'm off on exam leave and thats cool I can meet n greet next week when I'm back.

got a text tonight from what I thought would be my new direct manager informing me that I'm being posted to a role that doesnt suit me, my aims or my skills after some last minute reshuffling today.

so now ive to walk in to work tomorrow to kick everybodys arses and I'm not even officially the boss of anyway yet and wtf is wrong with this place ffs.

ughhh dmac that blows!

yeah that's the fucking worst

let's not get hasty its a pretty big promotion but it was perfect as is and it was v nice without late-stage bullshit tbs

but you can agree that late-stage bullshit is the fucking worst and also blows

He now comes in 3 days a week and he has not ONCE come in on time for all 3 of his days (he will either call out or come in late for at least one of them, often 2 or all 3). When I say "late" I don't mean like 10 or 30 minutes, I mean a minimum of 2 or 3 hours

In every call centre I've worked in, that'd result in termination by now. How's he getting away with that!?

Because we have 100+ employees and the way it's set up we pick up on two rings so we almost always have a queue of employees waiting for a call (and not the other way around) and it takes so long to train people before they can be thoroughly productive on the phones I guess it's just cheaper to keep him on.

I resent the fuckin' hell out of it though.