your terrible ideas

the google psas would have acted out scenarios where someone embarrasses himself not googling something first and then a GI JOE/More You Know type authority figure counseling the protagonist

satnav that says "you are about to witness the strength of street knowledge" every time you switch it on

hahahaha

A+, though it should be the techgeek appropriate kid 606 version of the line
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1UoN79-8-o

2000ad-themed christmas treats - Munce Pies

black metal themed Philly cheese steak restaurant called Pennsylvanian Hunger

oh dude.

hah!

so pure, so cold.

RayDioHead - a Radiohead tribute band that perform the songs in the style of Dio, fronted by former MTV VJ Ray Cokes.

Oh god, I just remembered my terrible idea of buying up the domain "fourcandles.com" and having a 30-second redirect to "forkhandles.com", which in turn would have a 30-second redirect to "fourcandles.com", and so on. Terrible, terrible idea.

tv show called Jokes On U in which adrian sherwood, tackhead et al do standup

an ice tray that makes foot long ice knives that you can use for homicides and then melt the evidence in the sink, roald dahl style

more fool me for assuming someone hadn't already marketed that idea
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/ultimate-weapon.html

hmmmm. it has an ice hilt.

Product Features
Silicone ice mold creates real working ice daggers
Leaves no evidence (besides water)
Daggers may be sharpened, but only hold an edge in sub-freezing temperatures
Constructed from food grade silicone
Makes one full size dagger per mold
Finished ice dagger is 16" in length

"daggers may be sharpened"

yeah, the edge would break when you take it out of the mold

if it was really sharp anyway

How about an ice dagger that you insert into a handle that has a red LED in it, so that it looks like the lightsaber in the Star Wars VII trailer?

funny you should ask
http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Glowing-Lightsaber-Maker/dp/B00B3YJ6OI
not entirely sure these are the droids you're looking for tho, based on this... interesting... marketing image
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416jZkliFrL.jpg

NSFW, like, at all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWHiNkCIAfU

$80?!
I wanted to buy these for our son who loves Star Wars, but $80 is absurd and very ridiculous! It better make the Popsicles for me at that price!
Published 6 months ago by Tiffany

you just freeze the flavored water, Tiffany!

a public tribute to nyc film culture featuring a life-size bronze stature of woody allen and spike lee smiling with their arms around each others shoulders

lol Boston idea

lol yes in that it was inspired by walking by this: http://www.bostonmagazine.com/arts-entertainment/blog/2014/10/06/edgar-allan-poe-comes-back-boston/

Flying next to Poe is a giant raven, bursting from his baggage. A heart, representing his well-known work The Tell-Tale Heart, is plopped on a pile of books behind Poe’s flowing coat.

a serial parody in which a Sarah Koenig-style reporter glibly examines the armenian genocide

she did a really great job on the florida terrorist story, and i recall other newsier things from her

she can do good journalism & i think probably is a good journalist in her own right but they didnt want this to be journalism as much as story telling so we get this instead & grrrrrrr

i think it's a pity

I keep wondering if I'm being overly hard on it. Like if this was an inconclusive documentary film instead of an inconclusive weekly podcast would I feel the same.

writing introductions to my papers in grad school under pseudonyms, situating the texts in their proper context and sagaciously emphasizing their cultural importance

I think this is called "editing your own Wikipedia entry."

a door that beeps when the people behind the door-opener are within a prescribed range (20 feet???), signalling the door-opener's obligation to hold it open and the pedestrians' obligation to speed up their stride. it would stop beeping after about 10 seconds so that the door opener wouldn't feel obligated to wait for stragglers.

in some parts of the world (Canada?), the distance/time might be as long as 50 feet/25 seconds, but in less courteous areas it might be as short as 5 feet/3 seconds. every decade or so, custodians would update the parameters in accordance with evolving social expectations.

(I've been thinking very deeply about this)

a low-powered taser that delivers a shock to the genitals of people who don't hold the door open in situations where they were clearly obligated to do so

lol

or delivers a mild electric shock to ppl who don't say thank u when the door is opened for them

AND to hangers-on who wordlessly bolt through the door that is clearly not being opened for them

If I am far away and someone holds the door I just immediately sit down on the ground.

a cocktail called Nagila - the adverts could be like "Have a Nagila"

A punk themed kebab shop called Get Pissed, Enjoy.

A new version of 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but performed by Chico, with the lyrics re-written to reflect this.

CHIIIII-COOOOO TIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIME!
LET! THEM! KNOW! IT'S! CHI! CO! TIME!
(IT'S) CHIIIII-COOOOO TIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIME!
LET! THEM! KNOW! IT'S! CHI! CO! TIME!

A band called Henry Jams.

Bob Marley-branded cough drops

Jingle: ♫There's a mentholyptus floating though the air. ♫

an e-40 magic 8 ball that say YUP, NOPE, BEEEEEYATCH and SMOKE ONE

apparently i woke up at 9:06 am on new years and wrote in my phone "a show where david lynch drives around and explains things to babies"

i can see this being a great idea

oh i know i just don't know where else to put it

i vaguely remember dreaming (i think?) about david lynch explaining basic things to a baby a la the beignning of breakfast of champions but i don't know why he had to be driving around