Sharply-dressed man with immaculate haircut eating sloppy porridge from a green plastic bowl - 6/10 simply for making me wonder where he produced said bowl from
Shameless lady in commuter sportswear speaking extremely loudly on the phone about what a fantastic weekend she had driving around in her new car - 4/10 why do people do this? Nobody gives a shit!
Woman who bustled in and proceeded to plonk herself down with such aimless force between me and another passenger that she practically sat on my lap, then pretended not to notice my audible 'oomph' and the fact I had to spend the rest of the journey sitting with just one butt-cheek on my seat. - 3/10 just ask and i'll happily get out your way.
― Piss-Up Artist (dog latin), Monday, 17 November 2014 14:54 (nine years ago) link
beanie hat playing loud autotuned dancehall on the jubilee line - 7/10 for causing not inconsiderable consternation amongst white bourgie exec types sitting opposite
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Wednesday, 25 February 2015 19:44 (nine years ago) link
entire harlequins home support - 2/10 because this is the premiership rugby special out of waterloo after all
am in a 'quiet zone' and am somewhat tempted to invoke it for the only time in my life
― probably.tasteful.forever (imago), Sunday, 27 December 2015 13:14 (eight years ago) link
braying tories really are one of the worst things about the uk
they're louder than any other group people hatefully tar with the same brush
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 27 December 2015 13:24 (eight years ago) link
would you rather be in a train carriage full of harlequins fans or harlequin foetuses
― things that are jokes pretty much (nakhchivan), Sunday, 27 December 2015 15:39 (eight years ago) link
depends. the latter, if the train train was going from ireland to the uk.
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Monday, 28 December 2015 00:45 (eight years ago) link
Too late to make the trip across the water for the latter
― The difficult earlier reichs (darraghmac), Monday, 28 December 2015 01:19 (eight years ago) link
someone on my 380 bus is beatboxing, drumming and singing some old-school r&b very loudly
it is the driver
10
― imago, Thursday, 16 November 2017 16:57 (six years ago) link
by the time I got off he had moved on to some particularly melodious whistling
― imago, Thursday, 16 November 2017 17:02 (six years ago) link
Please stop scratching yourself down there
― fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Thursday, 23 November 2017 08:30 (six years ago) link
Couple of days ago, guy having a weird phone conversation:
"So, my sister died last week and no-one in my family told me, my brother said I should phone her but I didn't know how close she was to death. Anyway, how's you and the dog?"
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 November 2017 10:35 (six years ago) link
... followed by a lot of jokey football chat.
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 November 2017 10:36 (six years ago) link
People deal, yknow
― fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Thursday, 23 November 2017 10:53 (six years ago) link
I know, but you had to be there to realize quite how weird it was, though I'm so old fashioned I would never have a personal conversation of any kind on public transport.
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 November 2017 11:08 (six years ago) link
oh god no, i can barely even bring myself to talk to my wife when we’re together in a quiet waiting room or whatever
― It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 November 2017 11:46 (six years ago) link
I recently heard someone at the back of the bus loudly explaining the dynamic of how people who are not "grassers" get falsely accused of being "grassers". And it went something like(with lots of fucks + fuckings): "When people can't afford a bottle of cider and are bored at home, they just go on facebook and make up fucking rumours about people, I'm fucking telling you pal!". When I saw him getting off he was a severe looking brute and I totally avoided any eye contact, lest I become a "grasser" suspect.
― calzino, Thursday, 23 November 2017 12:06 (six years ago) link
i just can't deal with taking calls on public transport. sadly a lot of people i know absolutely do not get this. 'Can't speak now, I'm on the train' / 'So? What's the matter with that?'... Just makes me feel like the Dom Joly sketch with the massive phone
― Fox Mulder, FYI (dog latin), Thursday, 23 November 2017 12:13 (six years ago) link
Bell-end who stood right up against me on a half-empty tram: minus several billion for being a dick
― You are wrong (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 23 September 2008 13:44 (nine years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
inexplicably i still remember this
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:07 (six years ago) link
Hugely intolerant of people who double-strap their backpacks and then don't take them off in packed carriages.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:17 (six years ago) link
there are several types of people for whom public conversations, on the phone or in person, have a performative aspect - they want your attention
― who says no to mentals? (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:26 (six years ago) link
my 11 year old daughter double straps her backpack on packed carriages bc otherwise she'll get crushed or will risk having her pack stolen---that's life on her daily commute (which she does by herself) on two of Europe's busiest metro lines.
― droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:50 (six years ago) link
I've found that driver again! He's on the 124 this time. Singing some sort of devotional prayer and drumming along. It certainly adds something
― imago, Sunday, 4 February 2018 14:20 (six years ago) link
twats who insist on standing at the front making getting on and off a hassle even tho there are at least half a dozen empty seats -infinity/10
― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:23 (six years ago) link
sitting in the aisle seat with your bag on the window seat DIE DIE DIE
― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:24 (six years ago) link
this is why i travel everywhere on my own private hovercraft
― i gotta be a gazpacho man (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:28 (six years ago) link
Sitting across from a stranger at the crowded local lunch spot. I assumed she would be on her phone or something so I wasn’t eating my fried chicken very elegantly—sort of wolfing it down. Looked up and saw she did not have a phone and was looking directly at me.
― treeship 2, Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:29 (six years ago) link
0/10 even though it’s my fault for eating like a barbarian
― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Monday, 5 February 2018 06:23 (twenty-eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
their look of genuine surprise when you have no choice but to barge through them almost makes this worth it
almost
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:55 (six years ago) link
Here he is!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsQAm3eXano
― imago, Friday, 16 February 2018 00:07 (six years ago) link
:D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CjWvPsmHDQ
to have been driven by him twice in three months having never noticed him before is pretty cool
― imago, Friday, 16 February 2018 00:08 (six years ago) link
Black American driver of 176 stopping at Camberwell Green at 3am and walking round the bus shouting "I WANNA SAY THIS REAL CLEAR SO Y'ALL DON'T HAVE TO KEEP ASKIN ME - THIS BUS WILL TERMINATE AT DULWICH LIBRARY. IT AIN'T GOIN TO FOREST HILL. IT AIN'T GOIN TO SYDEN-HAM. IT AIN'T GOIN TO FUCKIN PENGE. IT TERMINATES AT DULWICH LIBRARY" - 10/10
― That mong guy that's shit, Monday, 17 March 2008 12:13 (nine years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
A big weekend coming up. I still think about this often.
Sorry about that username tho
― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 16 March 2018 10:04 (six years ago) link
discovered last night that 'penge' is Danish for 'money' fyi
― imago, Friday, 16 March 2018 13:53 (six years ago) link
any time Fred B makes a good point we could refer to it as GOIN TO FUCKIN PENGE
― imago, Friday, 16 March 2018 13:55 (six years ago) link
well at least we won't be using that phrase then
― as the crows around me grows (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 March 2018 13:56 (six years ago) link
headers and volleys
― imago, Friday, 16 March 2018 13:58 (six years ago) link
Penge is where the dude from Denmark Hill kept his cash, famously.
― Tim, Friday, 16 March 2018 16:43 (six years ago) link
guy who sat on the set of three sideways-facing seats near the front and laid his wet umbrella across the other two seats
you get -3 out of 10 for taking up three seats, which I am going to double for making them damp for future passengers, so -6
make it -7 for coughing repeatedly without covering your mouth
I am of course an exemplary 10/10 passenger myself, apart from being fat, and having no sense of balance, and a miscalibrated sense of personal space, and having a big tatty seat-encroaching coat with needlessly bulging pockets, and... er, never mind
― a passing spacecadet, Monday, 9 April 2018 11:05 (six years ago) link
Are you all on the same bus?― Michael Jones, Tuesday, April 3, 2007
― the pinefox, Monday, 9 April 2018 11:40 (six years ago) link
Passenger in carriage 1 with big hairy dog 0/10Passenger in carriage 2 with big bunch of smelly flowers 0/10Passenger in carriage 3 with noisy kid playing noisier iPad game 1/10
On another message board there's a 0/10 for the crying, sneezing, angry guy who keeps changing seats.
― a simian who gave no fucks (onimo), Monday, 9 April 2018 15:11 (six years ago) link
i don't even specify quiet carriage any more when i book a train ticket because i think i get more stressed by the inability of chimps to keep quiet in that carriage than in the others
― vermicious kid (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 April 2018 15:14 (six years ago) link
those train chimps in full
http://www.ewillys.com/wp-content/uploads2/2012/12/1950-chimpanzee-stlouis-zoo-jeep-train-postcard1.jpg
― star wars ep viii: the bay of porgs (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 9 April 2018 15:17 (six years ago) link
i ask myself if people just have a different sense of what "quiet" means, like as long as you're not playing a full one-man band ensemble or doing a bit of impromptu drilling then sitting there chatting bollocks for an hour or phoning somebody to tell them that you're on a train is quiet.
― vermicious kid (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 April 2018 15:20 (six years ago) link
Embroidered “Unknown Pleasures” patch on back of jacket, patchy chinstrap beard, geometric below-ear tattoo of some kind, otherwise inoffensive, 5/10
― valorous wokelord (silby), Monday, 9 April 2018 15:21 (six years ago) link
I'm back on the bus with the drumming singing driver :D it's the 124 again
― imago, Thursday, 12 April 2018 10:50 (six years ago) link
Pyramid hat guy is opposite me right now. Well-dressed businessman, probably late-40s, in tweed jacket, with faraway air
― imago, Sunday, 15 April 2018 16:21 (six years ago) link
Pair of strangers at front of the bus having a loud convo about Supermarket Sweep, dead celebs and NHS waiting times for scans 8/10
― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 15:51 (six years ago) link
On the bus this evening there was a guy wearing a baseball cap with what appeared to be 'cuck' written across it. I looked closer and it actually read 'rock', but in a terribly stylised Gothic bro font like on some brands of energy drink.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Friday, 4 May 2018 19:47 (six years ago) link
generally commuting in this morning everyone looked on point and well dressed and i was in random shit i’d flung together. everyone else 10/10, me, 4.
― Fizzles, Friday, 4 May 2018 20:25 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DdAuZQ9VQAA2YIL.jpg
― soref, Monday, 14 May 2018 07:44 (six years ago) link
nobody is coming out of that with any credit tbh
― imago, Monday, 14 May 2018 08:20 (six years ago) link