Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Pretty convinced that the vast majority of bosses I've known have had, like, one very specific portion of their brain that works well enough to have gotten them into their position and that's otherwise surrounded by a mass of thoroughly necrotized tissue.

I would like to visit Boobekistan.

When I see her next I'm just going to look in her eyes and say "I wish we were both dead."

Yesterday she was saying how she *doesn't get* why demographic profiling at airports is a bad thing when it's obvious that a little old lady with a poodle isn't Mohammed Atta or whatever. But the thing is.... she honestly DIDN'T GET IT. When I told her about an Indian friend being unfairly profiled for being brown and having an accent, she said, "Oh! OK, see I can see why racial profiling upsets people then!"

a'sldfja;slkdfj

i'm not making anything up! this is truth!

I'm the president of Boobekistan.

When I see her next I'm just going to look in her eyes and say "I wish we were both dead."

― Je55e, Thursday, November 13, 2014 8:01 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Imagining this made me IRL LOL

saying with a smile, or through gritted teeth?

Wow, never seen such a clearer example of "it doesnt happen to ME, ergo it doesnt happen!" before. Jesse you are a more patient person than I.

moving day tomorrow

my very disorganized whirling dervish coworker has not packed his cubicle at all & said 'oh i'm going staying til the last possible moment bcz blah blah boring work reasons'

dude theyre shutting shit down at *9am*. guarantee you won't be doing anything but whine about how much packing you have to do

lolol @ "why can't you just send sensitive password info to this other address that has never been affiliated with the account and you have absolutely no way of verifying?"

This woman is a LAWYER???

Being a lawyer does not exempt one from being a total idiot. Would that it were so...

yeah but I mean LEGALITY and PRIVACY!!!!

would that it were so...

Lawyers can get tunnel vision in their specialty - like many other professionals, I am guessing. And that is bad b/c a lot of cases cross over into various areas of the law, which deserve at least a quick exploration or some curiosity.

This boss definitely gives me agita sometimes and I need to get a new job for that and other reasons, but the biggest problem is that this is such a small office that we get WAY too much exposure to each other. If I worked for or with her at a bigger firm with more staff, I think she would drive me less crazy (though honestly I'm often more entertained than upset by her weirdness).

When I see her next I'm just going to look in her eyes and say "I wish we were both dead."

saying with a smile, or through gritted teeth?

Neither. Just deadpan. Which I bet carl pictured when she LOLed.

"you don't know who Jenna Marbles is?? wow!"

really now

Presumably the sister of that guy who threw a custard pie at Rupert Murdoch?

She only goes to web addresses via
a) Her "bookmarks," which are the addresses in the drop-down list of frequently-visited sites (she was frantic when the IT contractor repaired her computer and "deleted all [her] bookmarks!")

b) Google search, e.g., for "fedex.com" rather than typing "fedex.com" into the URL hole. So when she found "mysbcglobal.com" she didn't realize it was a fake and was clicking around trying to log into her sbc email (which is now AT&T/Yahoo anyway).

she sounds like most of the ppl I deal w/ on a daily basis

I know I've mentioned the bank manager who I saw type the word "google" into his default MSN Search window.

He looked exactly like Chief Justice John Roberts.

I have searched Yahoo for "Google" and vice-versa, but I had a really good reason which I can't recall at this time.

I was trying to wire money to a bank in Australia called St. George. He wanted to know what the address was.

I said, probably something like StGeorge.com.au, and he said no, the physical address.

This would be like someone asking you what the street address for MasterCard is.

we're finally at year-end crunch time here, and my boss went to HR to request overtime for us. answer: "no. we think your team has had too much turbulence this year to redline them now."

so our reward for surviving the tumult of the year is that now we have to do the same work without the necessary time made available for us.

Boss' optometrist office calls and I put them on hold tell her. Boss buzzes back to my desk, "They're probably calling to confirm my appointment."

"....Okay, so you want me to talk to them?"

"Yes, I'm sure they're just calling to confirm my appointment this week -- which reminds me, can you drive me there on Friday?"

...

halp

very close quarters in our new office

coworker has AWFUL breath & she is now so close i can smell it if she talks in my general direction

she is a person who gets progressively louder on the phone to talk over ppl who disagree with her til she is practically shrieking

she NEVER STOPS TALKING
like now that we are almost forced to make eye contact she thinks she can vent to me. i dont even look at or acknowledge her & it doesnt matter
she's like a wind up toy

oh and: all passive agressive all the time

never says thank you if you help her, just doubles down & immediately gives you nine more problems you cant help with so she can reconfirm that she is the only person with any problems ever

hijacks every company meeting to talk about her own tiny problems, like she's the only one in the room

today i wanted to kill myself

SHUT

THE FUCK

UP

Oh god. I was sitting across from her for the six months before getting laid off. I feel you

;_;

Passive aggressively offer her a mint.

lol

yikes

At the Secret Santa present hand out yesterday, someone was given a small bottle of mouth spray.

I can't believe that after two years, my old boss still wants to get in touch with me. It's not my fault if they have adjustment problems. I used to care about them, told them to call me if they needed help, but it's been long enough, I've moved on physically and emotionally and I derive no benefit from it. Serves me right for caring too much about the place. However it certainly isn't my job to help you with the very young people they've hired.

Ha well tomorrow there's going to be an awkward situation where either everyone will laugh and say "how silly! why are we even bothering to keep track of such a low cost item?!" OR "snoball you're fired".

(all because some middle manager is all bent out of shape about the escalating costs and increasing overdue-ness of a project that they weren't even in charge of until it was a year past it's scheduled completion date)

aaarrgh, good luck snoball

When I see her next I'm just going to look in her eyes and say "I wish we were both dead."

― Je55e, Thursday, November 13, 2014 8:01 PM

really truly needed an irl lol today. thank you.

why are you using dropbox for work files just put your shit on the fucking server, that's what it's for

it's a spy move imo

I just went through this the other day. Dude wanted to work from home and didn't want to fire up the ol' FileZilla app. I get that.

But then I had to get a middle manager to proofread some stuff. He's the guy who will accidentally put his cursor in the corner and start goddamming left and right because his screen went black what the fuck this ALWAYS happens.

So what I thought was a pretty neutral move on the first guy's part turned into an hour-long ordeal with the second dude.

aaarrgh, good luck snoball

Thanks but it turned out OK. And by OK, I mean the middle manager in question, who isn't even my manager, bottled out of directly confronting me and also called off another middle manager he was planning to use, I don't know, as some kind of attack dog or something. Maybe my e-mail where I told him 'I authorised the relocation of the equipment and who cares anyway because that gear was cheap new and after six months next to worthless now so what of it?' put him off a tad. I feel in two minds about it, on the one hand it's obvs a result that I was able to 'win' this (as much as anyone is able to 'win' a pointless argument with pointless middle management at work) without actually having to go all Henry Rollins, in the Sun Tsu 'win a battle without actual fighting' sense. On the other hand, I kind of feel cheated out of a chance to slap down some silly bugger. All that adrenaline gone to waste. And he's probably going to get fired anyway, because he lacks the requisite laisez-faire 'tude to deal with the shitty mess of a project he's inherited. So I'll not have the opportunity again. FFS I haven't even met the guy in person, at most seen him across the crowded room of the weekly Whispering Olympics AKA the pissweak pep talk management gives to us mud shovellers once a week.

In other news, the CIO has the personality of a cardboard cutout. On noticeboard of the main office, there's a double page magazine interview with the guy. I can't tell if it's an actual genuine interview from some business magazine, or an interview that's been mocked up by our art department to make the CIO look like he has a personality, or a parody that someone's made as a piss-take.

We're in the middle of a data migration when lots went wrong, and in the process of fixing it a bunch of key software got *deleted entirely*

I just heard the Brand New VP down the hall (who fired my Favorite Boss a few weeks ago) say "You want an update? Everything is broken, nothing works, and we're all pissed off and stressed."

Had to resist the urge to say WELCOME TO THE ORGANIZATION

the data needs some help sometimes
http://www.iceposter.com/thumbs/MOV_9feafcbe_b.jpg

i guess it was kind of a smartass move but i just made a new name/placard to hang on the outside of my cube which features my first name in 280 point bold and my last name in 48 point. i have been called by my last name so, so many times at my new job (going on 3 months now). i'm used to it happening frequently because i suffer from the curse of having three first names, but somehow it's happening here at a higher order of magnitude.

lol.

Last week, I asked a coworker in passing whether they were heading up to the meeting and they replied "no, I'm going to use the litterbox".

god i would love to work with cats

although herding them all up for a meeting, i mean, well you know