Ask Raccoon Tanuki

Hi RT,

What other masterpieces of visual art are hanging in your domicile?

Yours,

My walls are blank white.

RT,

What is your favorite butter substitute in cooking? My cholesterol thanks you.

JF

only hear a week and dude already gets an "Ask ____" thread? gtfo

*fumes w jealousy*

Ask Οὖτις

If I ask you for your favorite 80s rap record, which decade will you respond with?

RT,

What is your favorite butter substitute in cooking? My cholesterol thanks you.

JF

Ah, the butter myth. Just get some organic butter mate. Butter is full of vitamins, good fats, and medium and short chain fats that actually help in fat burning. Read this http://authoritynutrition.com/7-reasons-why-butter-is-good-for-you/

If you were a sock puppet account, who's sock would you want to be?

If I ask you for your favorite 80s rap record, which decade will you respond with?

Best lyrics:
Great adventures of Slick Rick,

most creative:
3 feet

most ahead of its time:
critical beatdown

favourite:
Evert Fat Boys record

Dear Raccoon Tanuki,

What's your ride?

Yours,

Ah, the butter myth. Just get some organic butter mate.

― Raccoon Tanuki, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 17:48 (32 minutes ago)

wait does this mean you are british

Another blow for our empire.

Might be Dorke having a laugh

Raccoon Tanuki,

This is Cartoon Saluki:
http://art.artist.dragoart.com/saluki-dog-first-time-using-gimp_1_000000038031_1.jpg

I think you two would really hit it off.

Regards,

Might be Dorke having a laugh

I like this theory

Racoon Tanuki what is your favorite pre-disco Bee Gees song

wait does this mean you are british

― Contrappunto dialettico alla mente (nakhchivan), Tuesday, September 30, 2014 1:21 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

she has a privately educated south western English voice, which funnily enough is also what Martina TB has.

― Raccoon Tanuki, Monday, September 22, 2014 6:43 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Raccoon Tanuki, what do you think of this post

Would have voted for Type of Way as my #1 had I voted. Just a fucking transcendental record. So much fun to be had with Rich Homie Quan impressions too.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, January 23, 2014 10:37 AM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i wouldn't consider slick rick a british rapper

― u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, September 24, 2014 6:35 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He's not American though.. officially. British passport, born/raised in London till 12, British parents, raps with a British accent, was deported back to England by US government. Was going to say this is ridiculous and what matters is being in New York at the time but then again he was so different in everything he did big argument to be made for his Britishnessness being the key to that I guess.

― Raccoon Tanuki, Wednesday, September 24, 2014 9:16 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not that it's necessarily untrue but it's only ever british herbs that point it out

just this week I heard professor green dusting it off on the radio

type of way 2nd best song of last year after 'happy' so yeah.

not that it's necessarily untrue but it's only ever british herbs that point it out

just this week I heard professor green dusting it off on the radio

All of the swans we have seen are white.
Therefore, all swans are white.

more like if it looks like a raccoon and shits like a raccoon tbh

but a tanuki isn't actually a raccoon. or in any way related to a raccoon.

it is a cousin of the saluki

yeah they prob even shit differently for all Ive researched this

^ has tanuki blind spot and proud of it

tanuki is eaten throughout europe you ignorant cunt

well hey now

smdh we're seriously not gonna recast slick rick as some kinda bullshit wee pappa girls/derek b "bullet from a gun" b.s. c'mon dude

next he'll be claiming Dana Dane

the U.S. used to be British colonies
therefore, all U.S. rappers are British

so raccoon tanuki is wight dorke.

Dear Raccoon Tanuki,

Are you Wight Dorke?

Yours,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIurQxvX3g

went to central london on the weekend, awful, gentrified, commercial, corporate, achingly emptily cool desperations, selfie sticks, $15 organic single organic cookies, no cafes, zero independants, zero young locals, 100% tourists and rich families. Really you have to go quite far to the outskirts now to find any real people or places in London. Theres miles and miles of corporate desert and it's soul destroying. Other than Bodean's there's no where to even eat. The actual independant places are just hipster run offs frequented by yuppie clients selling nothing. You've got this street Carnaby Street famous in the past for hippie culture and swinging 60s and mods and independent boutiques and you get there and it's fucking filled with Puma and Adidas stores, wtf? They play up it's heritage and put that shit all along it. Soulless. Pay £10 for a tube day pass, get onto the most grotty disgustingly unclean underground trains in teh world in my experience. Had to walk around South Kensington for a bit, just a pile of rich shit and yuppies and dead eyed tourists how can anyone stay sane there?

Cities I generally find disgusting depressing places, but I have never been more depressed and dispossessed and lacking in confidence in humanity by a City than last weekend in London.

― Raccoon Tanuki, Wednesday, October 1, 2014 4:42 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my guess is this is either Marcello or dog latin.

sure do hate those tourists

in retrospect i probably should have lived in London for five years before we went on vacation there

why did you go on holiday to london?

i wanted to see london and my aunt was living there and i wanted to visit her

i think the real qn is why raccoon tanuki went on holiday to london

i had fun btw! i've been to london a couple times for work, i liked it

but i dunno i tend to just hang out and check shit out and drink and not ruminate over humanity and shit, big ben! pretty big fuckin clock u gotta admit man

nfl game was on, entire regent street was closed down for "nfl street party". dan marino was there, coach of raiders called london "the most beautiful city in the world" lol

i had fun btw! i've been to london a couple times for work, i liked it

but i dunno i tend to just hang out and check shit out and drink and not ruminate over humanity and shit, big ben! pretty big fuckin clock u gotta admit man

yeah, if its your first time in london. I loved london the first 10 times i visited. The last time though, it all caved in and realisation hit home that we're fucked.

Raccoon Tanuki,

What kind of phone do you use? What kind of computer?

Thanks,
龜

i'd kill to party w/dan marino

"laces out, dan!" lol i bet he'd love it!

wtf at posting "ask...." threads on ilm

yeah, if its your first time in london. I loved london the first 10 times i visited. The last time though, it all caved in and realisation hit home that we're fucked.

― Raccoon Tanuki, Wednesday, October 1, 2014 9:29 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Raccoon Taylor Tanuki,

who is this 'we'?

TGIF,

So what's the original username for this guy? Turrican?

haha no Turrican is someone else

no that's exactly right

I doubt it Ask Raccoon Tanuki Turrican is a p sensible poster on a lot of ILM threads

I just Turrican't with this

Sure... If "raccoon tanuki" is your idea of a sensible poster

lmao

Yup, as Shakey said, this has absolutely nothing to do with me. In fact I said as much about two years ago?

Oh, and wins, do be quiet you utter fuckhole.

team turrican for life <3

Weekends here guys

Have sum fun

ban wins

no don't ban wins

Fine then

ban everyone

no more hiding behind mammal species

^^^

Looking in your direction, "Neanderthal"

oog ugh Neanderthal hungry

Guys it's me. I'm every troll. I was even Dom Passantino

This definitely checks out but if you are tanuki then just who is turrican??

he's just said, he's every troll

This guy was punkishippies as well, no?

Tombot?

that would explain his test message in metal a few moments ago

looking forward to his terrible metal opinions again

xpost

I don't mean Tomboto obvs

Can't wait for his take on that Shining poster! xp

The one with Nicholson's face in the door?

would think a raccoon of all creatures would appreciate a safe space

Some raccoons are tired of being always being victims.

his most recent posts are vile misognyist bullshit inspired by not liking a janelle monae song, turned out he hadn't fully changed his brand to anti-semitism and still had room for misogyny

still wonder if he was someone's long-game troll persona/parody account but who knows, good riddance regardless

― slothroprhymes, Saturday, 2 May 2015 18:49 (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

What would the long-game be, exactly?

― subject's companion from prior surveillance (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 2 May 2015 19:06 (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

universal health care iirc

― difficult listening hour, Saturday, 2 May 2015 19:11 (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

For this lol much thanks

That rando “jb” who just got banned for homophobia def had some wite dork vibes but wow Paul ponzi might be the most woeful iteration yet, lighting up the “bad boy of the mojo letters page” end of the turriconstellation

i think the valuableness of this P-P-Poster will have been noted by me a few weeks ago

“bad boy of the mojo letters page”

lmao perfect

xp I’ve no doubt, you are the all seeing eye at the centre of the pyramid which gives the scheme its name

do ppl deserve second third chance on ilx idk

not quite all seeing -- i just saw this:

Sunday, October 7, 2018 4:43 AM Site dan_theman has been banned permanently.

was he stanton on the shoulders of giants and fell?

does stanton = larry appleton? if so, then yes

sometimes i think of "butt stanton" and giggle to myself

xp - stanton was the original, of the dirty ass partner and the mysterious Grim Reapah hip hop

Yeah I think Mr Ponzi is just a common or garden inexplicably angry about the minutiae of pedestrian music ilmor

sorry it was disgusting, not dirty --

C/D - Cleaning your disgusting ass partner because you're having a rare guest over

ah ha, I did not know burt and larry were the same posters. he seems destined to continually return in less funny, more troubling incarnations

in fairness grim reapah thread is an all time great brrbrrbrbrbrbbb

tough but fair!

Forgotten about Turrican bizarrely choosing this thread, of all threads, to complain about nakh, thus leading many confused ILXors to assume he was RT. This was before he got unbearable too.