Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

Weekly coupon emails from EAT24 that have this cutesy tone and always have to reference "what's going on this week" e.g.

Did you bend your iPhone 6 already? Us too. That's why we're happy to announce that the EAT24 app is now optimized for bent screens!

What does this mean? Well, let's say you just perfected that butt groove in the couch but your new iPhone was in your pocket, so now it looks more like a taco shell than a smartphone. You can still use that phone* to order yourself a taco on the EAT24 app thanks to its all-new springy, flexible, and shatter-resistant UI.

You can also use this coupon to save a little dough** on your Curly Fries, Pad Thai Noodles, or any other bendy/non-bendy foods this weekend.

ugh
honey bourbon of words

Her name's Honey Boo Boo, don't be fresh

The back entrance to our office is approached via a wheelchair ramp which switchbacks several times to get up to the height of the back door. For some reason I feel like a fool whenever anyone sees me zigzagging back and forth on it for ages in order to cover a distance of 3 metres. (Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased the ramp is there for people who need it, it's just that using it makes me irrationally embarrassed.)

Ha. Felt the same way when I got to the bank the other day as it opened.

TELLER: I can help you over here!

18 seconds later

PP: Phew, thanks. Just need to make a withdrawal.

when friends' kids call me 'uncle [mookieproof]'

Not gonna turn this into an ILPM thread, but that one's right up there for me too.

Some of the teachers call themselves Ms. Johnson while others call themselves Ms. Trish. I think it's ok for the kids to address adults with a Mr or Ms instead of going, "Hey, Jason, what's up," to their friend's dad.

But I can't stand the sound of Mr. Tre. I'd be even more irrationally embarrassed for anyone named Ed. But I don't want to be an ass and insist on being called Mr. Baker at every instance either.

I am so accustomed to Ms Lechera that I kinda like it. Mrs Mysurname though, no
esp when my DAD says it
that's just humiliating

It's common around our neighborhood for the kids to refer to adults as "hey ______'s dad". I would prefer Mr. Lastname to Mr. Firstname though.

Mr. Mike sounds worse than Mr. Tre imo, so... no

when i was little i wrote a thank-you note to my widowed great aunt, addressed to mrs. her name. she informed me that it should have been to mrs. her dead husband's name

so i guess uncle me isn't as weird as it could be

Mr. Mike sounds worse than Mr. Tre imo, so... no

Hmmmm.

http://hotoffpress.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/mrmike1.jpg

At work I get Dear Firstname Lastname from students all the time and it's always bugged me. It happens so much that I wonder if it's maybe taught in school now.

Like if my name was Lindsay or Jude or something then fine, but if you're writing to a Paul you're probably pretty safe to address that person as Mr..

when i was little i wrote a thank-you note to my widowed great aunt, addressed to mrs. her name. she informed me that it should have been to mrs. her dead husband's name

I have seen it argued that Mrs. Her First Name is appropriate for widows.

The women who work in our Florida stores always address us (in New York) as Miss Firstname when they call us which I am not sure how I feel about.

Where I grew up, Mr. or Mrs. Last Name was the formal address while Mr. or Miss First Name is the respectful informal address. So the former for teachers, visiting dignitaries, old people you don't know and the latter for parents' friends, neighbors, baby sitters. I tend to follow that formula for people I introduce Ivy to, except she can call our friends by their first names as long as they don't mind.

Ivy can call me whatever she wants tbh

halloween music that is overtly "about" halloween and is really "silly" and "wacky"

I follow certain friends on Spotify and sometimes I see someone listened to something and go "Oh, I wanna listen to that" but then I get all afraid that they're going to notice I'm listening to the thing they just listened to and that I'm aping them. This seems like a really stupid thing to be embarrassed about.

Hide your profile temporarily.

I would feel embarrassed to do that, even though no one would notice

classic irrational embarrassment
i know the feeling

Just switch to beats music, prob solved

What I actually usually do is just wait like a few days, then check out the music. Sometimes I also start with a different record by the same artist, because "I just happen to be into them as well, their last record was good too"

is the conversation I have in my mind with the friend who 99% likelihood doesn't even notice I listened to the same band as him/her and wouldn't care if I did

Honest confession: I listened to a playlist off of either yours or N/A's profile recently, and thought the whole time, I hope they don't think this is creepy.

I listen to Baltimore music critic Al Shipley's playlists all the time too, but hell, that's part of his job, right?

Yeah I have one friend in particular who's not a close friend but has great taste who I tend to copy a little, and sometimes I think I catch him maybe doing the same with me, like once I was on a chopped-and-screwed kick and I noticed him listening to a chopped-and-screwed mix a day or two later, and it wasn't the kind of thing he'd regularly have in his feed.

ps I wouldn't think it was creepy at all fwiw, but I don't know if I follow you so I don't think I noticed. I will now though, creep!

Look for me under my username "Ned Raggett".

That joke only gets funnier with every passing year.

When I get a notice that anyone has followed me on spotify I always feel embarrassed that they're about to discover I only use it for Girls Aloud and Chvrches and some Scottish fiddle music.

90% of my Spotify listening is me listening to things people* I follow just listened to. The other 10% is Led Zeppelin. I assume if the people I follow even notice they would be flattered.

*and a lot of playlists from N/A, jaymc, DJP, maura, and Baltimore music critic Al Shipley.

Panoptify

I was kinda disappointed that jaymc didn't have a bunch of playlists that were all "Songs Titles With At Least 12 Letters But Without The Letter 'E'".

Or "PPlains' favorite songs of 1998"

"The Song That's In Your Head Right Now" - Fuck! How'd he know?

I take my daughter to daycare every morning, about a 20 minute bus ride. I carry her facing out so she interacts with a lot of the other commuters. The other day, she was doing this thing where she just leaned over playfully to one side, then back up. An old lady across the aisle saw her do this and then started mimicking. Dramatically leaning over, almost lying down in the seat and then quickly back up. They both continued this for the entire bus ride.

I was trying to tell this young dude exiting the library that he dropped his newspaper. Not only did I call him "sir" for some reason, but he was wearing earbuds so he couldn't hear me anyway. Also it was a free newspaper of which he was carrying at least one other copy, so it's not like he would've cared.

LL should release a yogurt-themed drum record call chobanitime

Your expectations of me are way too low. I deserve better!!

selling my used games to gamestop

Your expectations of me are way too low. I deserve better!!

― vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, December 23, 2014 4:25 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IDK it seemed to bring it all together: your love of chobani, "time" in the sense of drumming (as used by Yogi(urt?) Horton), horrible 70s album titles, etc.

i think you have misunderstood my feelings about chobani
(but not about yogi horton, may he RIP)

follow-up record "She's Just Not That Into Cho"

:(

selling my used games to gamestop

― slam dunk, Tuesday, December 23, 2014 5:14 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what does this have to do with yogurt

a man goes to sell his used games to gamestop and mango is a chobani yoghurt flavour, that's what.

Pressing the button at a pedestrian crossing and by the time the walk light comes on there is only one car for miles around which you are holding up for no reason whatsoever

avoiding pressing the button just and waiting for a gap in traffic to circumvent the above situation, but then another pedestrian arrives at the crossing and doesn't realise at first that you haven't pressed the button and gives you a funny look when they eventually reach past you to press the button

stop i am getting secondhand embarrassment just reading this