why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

thank you for the laffs, oh arkansas

would you just look at all those states where women know how to use their jumper cables. next thing you know, they'll pumping their own gas too.

pretty sure it's about wisconsin

I doubt Foxworthy is doing routines about the Midwest

What's this nationwide epidemic of people wearing parkas and shorts about then?

pretty sure it originally said Portland, Maine

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071203233349/simpsons/images/5/5a/Black.jpg

parkansas

The 55 speed limit, youre going 80, everyone is passing you is pretty spot on tbf

That's the only actually funny (a bit) one.

i love how videos autoplay with no audio cause i just watched this thing just started playing and i have no idea what's happening and it's hilarious

Yeah I said somewhere the other day that I like the autoplay vids, whiners are kinda whining imo

These began to circulate:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/21/quotes-banned-books_n_5759808.html

I want to make some of those with quotes from Naked Lunch

I just ate something that was half pumpkin pie and half pumpkin cake. Whatever it was, I thought it was top drawer.

http://i.imgflip.com/cgq0a.jpg

I just ate something that was half pumpkin pie and half pumpkin cake. Whatever it was, I thought it was top drawer.

― ILX preorders SPYRO for Playstation (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shit, cat

https://scontent-a-vie.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/v/t1.0-9/942356_512736398800368_1961746112_n.jpg?oh=74eb097403b818a30209c27ddd47ef62&oe=5487B2DD

lol can't tell if it's intentional or not

is that hemlock or something?

I think that's a picture of the new Washed Out album.

What great advice! I plan to take about a dozen positive people hostage and use them as human shields.

atoms are surrounded by negativity

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10500536_10152389576639086_7835691396839411170_n.jpg?oh=cc6adda5e951ed18b239f356ef9e941f&oe=54C1B170&__gda__=1421808421_caa68a292d921725ea3144e2b5a48f2c

is this real or just another made-up marley quote?

i've heard that cliche attributed to other things

those are the lyrics to buffalo soldier

heh, i literally typed just that and then erased it an hour ago

alert alert pumpkin spice oreos exist

also i made that buffalo soldier joke a year ago, knew it sounded familiar great minds think alike (mine)

Had a pumpkin spice hard cider yesterday and it was great.

you savage

nutmeg has its niche

my wife is always telling me to get on facebook. i say, if i wanted to give up my constitutional rights, i'd move to north korea!

but seriously, i'd bet if facebook closed down for one day, not only would american offices be more productive, we'd find the cure for cancer and solve the global financial crisis in one day!

i mean, i wonder how facebook employees kill time at work? i mean, what, are they all on myspace or something?

Please ladies and gentlemen, a warm round of applause for missing "Shecky" NO. He's here all week.

Also:
I had an apple juice with pumpkin spice vodka a few years ago and it was quite nice.

How long are you here for?

Please ladies and gentlemen germs

fixed

The comic says germs, the MC says gentlemen. And based on my history, I'll be here the rest of my life.

https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/1779970_733580726686928_1815861250_n.jpg?oh=9f2390359c491bdbb11450753bf83bc1&oe=54BF2EBF

Unless you have siblings.

I can't be the only one who struggled to parse that as a Robyn parody.

No fucking clue what my mom's heart sounded like from the inside. Pretty sure I don't have any actual memories until 3 or 4?

milos a-y were obv not up to scratch, averaged 1.5 months each

babies grow in the womb not the heart author rachel morans

enlarged baby heart is a real problem sktsh

i'm a test tube baby

There's just no justice in the world.

http://www.maniacworld.com/steve-jobs-vs-dennis-ritchie.jpg

We would all read in Binary..

Not that I'm unsympathetic to the idea that the cult of the superstar tech ceo is some bullshit

No Programs

If Steve Jobs had had his way we'd all be speaking in hipster binary by now.