Kids say the darndest things

Ella at 19 months, practising sounds to herself: "duck luck wuck nuck fuck (sees our amused reaction) fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

"WUP! WUP! WUP! GANG MUSTACHE STYLE!"

my youngest has gotten into use/mention fun with cussing, e.g. "I saw a graffiti today that said "fuck", that's a bad word"

a joke my son told me the other day:

Q: Why are pumpkins orange?
A: Because they don't have any butts

I loled.

That's great! There has been a resurgence of my girl's butt drawings (as pictured here: Kids say the darndest things)

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10649979_10152761422748783_2192251034107899275_n.jpg?oh=d359291813669507707383a5f085f92f&oe=5486D5C3

This weekend she announced that she was going to draw "the perfect butt" (not pictured). It's become an obsession.

You can see how the butts have progressed from two circles with a line drawn in-between to one oblong with a line down the middle. She obviously has spent some time in reflective thought and observation.

last yr I took a trip and my youngest made me a goodbye card. she drew a toilet with floating turds. "Daddy, I drew something you'd like," she told me.

lol.

She was...right?

PP: Pete and Repeat go into a store. Pete comes out. Who's left?
BEEPS: Uh... Ree?
PP: Ree? OK, listen. Pete and Repeat go into a store. Pete comes out. Who's left inside the store?
BEEPS: You're saying it again.
PP: You know this one?
BEEPS: Know what?
PP: Just tell me... Pete and Repeat, ok, go inside the store. Pete comes back outside. Now who's left in the store?
BEEPS: Ree.
PP: WHY ARE YOU SAYING JUST "REE"?
BEEPS: BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT "PEAT" CAME OUT. THAT LEAVES THE "RE-" PART IN THE STORE.

I got sonned (or daughtered) by my own dumb-ass joke.

Oh snap.

awesome

Rad

Poor pplains.

"HEY! MARK!"

Yeah, I've had that one: Alice age two.

"Hey! I'm your dad, right? I'm not your mother's boyfriend!"

Alice: "Ha ha ha"

it's a weird thing when young kids start singing random pop songs (especially when they're songs you haven't heard yourself).

Yeah, one time I was driving along, and Amber (5 then) says "Can I sing a song?" "OK" i say, and then she breaks into "To dream the impossible dream" from Man of La Mancha, full voice. I nearly crash..

"Where did you get that song from?"
"Oh, Milo sang it on The Tweenies"

Molly's been watching too many youtube videos of people talking about toys. On the bus this morning she was playing with her Princess Anna toy, taking her dress off and saying 'I love the detailing on this, and it's got a velcro fastening so it's easy to get off' There are so many words in her vocabulary that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for youtube, I feel quite ashamed

I don't listen to the radio much. I worked in radio all my working years until I was almost 40 and I'm just done with it. Besides, I like being able to hear the kids in the backseat and I don't get so distracted as easily.

But out of nowhere, now they both want to hear the radio in the car. Beeps wants pop. Hank wants rock and roll. "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica was actually somewhat of a hit for him yesterday.

This morning, they want it on again. Fine. We land right at the intro of "Beast of Burden".

HANK: This is sad music. I WANT ROCK & ROLL!

awesome

loool

Ben: What's a PAC?

Me: P-A-C-K or P-A-C?

Ben: P-A-C

Me: Well, a PAC is a political organization that you can donate money to. Then, they can give that money to politicians that have the same views.

Owen: Then why is he called Pac-Man?

hahaha

nice.

"this store smells like my vagina"

whaaaaaat

Please tell me she said that loudly.

tbf this quote was related to me by my wife

omg omg omg

the best

This weekend we stopped in Hastings-on-Hudson, which is one of those *charming towns* in the Hudson Valley north of NYC. We sat down for brunch at a yuppie farm-to-table restaurant and Keren exclaimed "This is the Berkshires!"

We're sitting at Ella's drawing table, which is by the front windows, and an extremely loud, rumbling-engined motorbike roars past.

Ella says, "Fart! Fart!"

Beeps comes running from the far end of the playground, leaps off the step onto the ground by the bench I'm sitting on. "Look at me, Daddy!" "I see you!"

Hank tries the same thing, but stumbles before he reaches the step, sorta veers off to the side into a fall– enough where I put my hands up to catch him and go WHOA – somehow regains his footing through some unintentional parkour and stops.

Without making eye-contact, he shuffles past me and mumbles "What did you think of my trick, Dad?"

*pointing to easel* "Mommy did painting of teacher susan. She's a good guy."

About gumballs again:

HENRY: I like Blueberry. Orange hurt me.

PP: It was a little strong, huh?

HENRY: Orange beat me up in my mouth!

We went to see "The Box Trolls" and there was a preview for the Paddington Bear movie before. There's a scene where Paddington is in the bathroom and he picks up two toothbrushes and sticks them in his ears, pulls them out with a bunch of brown goop on them, then looks around and tastes the goop. Now Evie keeps walking around looking mad saying "ARGH. Stop thinking about the bear and the toothbrushes. I don't want to think about the bear anymore! Stop it, brain!"

I know how she feels.

God me too.

HENRY: Orange beat me up in my mouth!

I'm right there with ya, Hank.

There's a scene where Paddington is in the bathroom and he picks up two toothbrushes and sticks them in his ears, pulls them out with a bunch of brown goop on them, then looks around and tastes the goop

WHY IS THIS A SCENE IN THE FILM WAT. D:

iirc he also ends up sticking his head in a toilet for some reason

Guys, I don't want to think about the bear anymore.

This morning I was cleaning out our fridge and threw away some really old disgusting broccoli, which I then kept talking about because it was so gross, and I was jokingly saying "I don't want to think about the broccoli any more! Stop it brain!" and Evie was very seriously like "Dad, you're going to think about the broccoli for a few days. But then you won't think about it any more. Because I couldn't stop thinking about the bear, but now I don't think about it any more."

Cute.

<3

Awwwww!

one of eli's pals at school is named Paddington http://www.statichukd.com/images/threads/2002716_1.jpg

oh dear

why would someone do that to their child :(

Evie's Pro-tips <3