Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

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the aesthetic might be annoying but I have to say I bought a few cartons of this while in London this summer and it was delicious.

akm, Monday, 8 September 2014 22:35 (nine years ago) link

Why hasn't there been a backlash against the I.S.A. in advertising yet? If I were an ad exec, the first thing I'd think of is having some drippy cardigan boy get his ukelele smashed to pieces by the object of his desire.

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 13:38 (nine years ago) link

the type of ppl who gobble this stuff up probably comfortably outnumber the type of ppl who moan about it on the internet

for sale: Bebe's boots, never worn (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 13:54 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/i9EqZQd.jpg

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Nothing less than the Spirit of the Age (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 16:10 (nine years ago) link

A friend of mine just posted on FB an invoice of her new iphone purchase from one of our main telco carriers here. One of the line items was "new phone feeling" at $0.

The fuck.

the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 12 September 2014 09:24 (nine years ago) link

i'd send it straight back. that's utterly revolting.

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Friday, 12 September 2014 09:25 (nine years ago) link

I think it was part of Telstra's ad campaign for the phones anyway but yeah, christ on a bike.

the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 12 September 2014 09:27 (nine years ago) link

in my experience, the 'new phone feeling' involves peaking stress levels, frustration, and 'HOW THE FUCK DO I WRITE A SPACE IN MY TEXTS??!'

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Friday, 12 September 2014 09:27 (nine years ago) link

WHERE HAS MY EFFING CONTACTS LIST GONE OMG

the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 12 September 2014 09:28 (nine years ago) link

That too. What? I have to download or buy all my apps again? Great feeling!

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Friday, 12 September 2014 09:59 (nine years ago) link

...now all my contacts are listed TWICE, including everyone I've ever emailed from the GMail account I set up in 2004!

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Friday, 12 September 2014 10:01 (nine years ago) link

While I'm moaning about phones - on the subject of music libraries - will there ever be a system where you can look at Artists but not have every artist on a compilation put into separate folders? It's so frustrating and a perennial problem but in 10+ years of MP3 players it still happens all the time.

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Friday, 12 September 2014 10:03 (nine years ago) link

oh hang on I thought this was the IA, not the IS thread. As you were.

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Friday, 12 September 2014 10:04 (nine years ago) link

i feel awesome when i get a new phone

╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Friday, 12 September 2014 14:51 (nine years ago) link

grrrr
https://twitter.com/shanerichmond/status/511819826818736128

Barry Gordy (Neil S), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 11:17 (nine years ago) link

all comedy pub signs should be kicked over on sight.

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 11:19 (nine years ago) link

We have a problem, Cupcakes.

And it’s not that you’re not awesome. Because, dear Cupcakes, oh how we love you. Sometimes we make whole batches of cupcakes without telling anyone so we can secretly eat them all ourselves instead of doing supposedly productive things like standing up.

And it’s not that we think you’re overrated now that everyone and their kids are opening up cutesy cupcake restaurants. I would live out of a sleeping bag in one of those restaurants to be closer to you every morning, sultry Cupcakes.

But what really pisses us off, Cupcakes, is that you’re so much work. Don’t get us wrong, we don’t mind mixing up the batter and dirtying all our dishes since they’ll sit in the sink for a week anyways. We’ll even wait 15 minutes for you to puff up into beautiful little chocolatey pillows of fucking fluff.

It’s that after you come out of the oven, naked Cupcakes, there’s still a whole step left called FROSTING. Really? Because all our dishes are dirty, we spent all our energy watching you bake, and there’s MORE?!?!

Cupcakes, you scoundreling bitches.

We’ll show you. You’ll be sitting on our counters waiting in vain, because instead of making frosting, we’ve just been eating you smothered in butter. Which isn’t as good as butter AND sugar, but us Lazy Girls take what we can get. And usually that involves lots of butter.

Next up: Monkey Bread - don’t think you’re getting away so easily.

ps and another thing, Cupcakes, we need you to stay out of weddings, okay? Because The Wedding Cake is a heavenly thing, and when you pile yourselves up in a big Cupcake orgy next to the dance floor, we feel dirty for eating more than one of you in public in pretty dresses. Because no matter how many slices of Wedding Cake we eat, it’s still only ONE cake, isn’t it, Cupcakes? Don’t worry, we’d say I Do to you anytime.

lazygirlsguidetoliving posted this

Nothing less than the Spirit of the Age (nakhchivan), Saturday, 20 September 2014 21:18 (nine years ago) link

smarffles' logodaedalywaedely

r|t|c, Saturday, 20 September 2014 21:27 (nine years ago) link

Just got this drivel from a fucking videogame retailer:

Every order that we receive is important to us and yours was no exception.
The moment your order came through we've been busy picking and packing, sticking and wrapping to get it sent off to you as fast as we could so that when it arrives at your door it'll bring a smile.
You can now put your feet up, have a cup of your favourite warm beverage and possibly a nice slice of cake whilst Royal Mail carry out the delivery part of the order.
If we could, we would bring the parcel to your door personally and deliver it with your very own GameSeek fanfare, but we do have to rely on Royal Mail....so if they don't show your delivery as much love and care as we would then we are very sorry. Let us know about it and we will do what we can to help. Occasionally things can be delayed or go missing so we would respectfully ask that if there is a problem, you let us know first. Any delays are not down to us.
So, you now know that we have treated your order with the care and devotion and carried it through our sales process like it was our very own. We'd like to ask if you could show us a bit of love too? We would be filled with joy if you could see your way clear to spending a couple of moments to leave us feedback. Your opinion is invaluable to us, and we treat your words with great care.

Please click on the following link to leave your comments...

Tempted to leave a link to this thread as a comment.

bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 11:45 (nine years ago) link

do it!

Larbo-larbo-larbo! (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 11:51 (nine years ago) link

Wait, Urban Dictionary is moderated? They sure have a high tolerance for hate-speech if so

KEY DATES
HS2 project timeline

We are determined to get cracking with HS2. We have already completed the consultation on Phase One, and in 2013 we began seeking powers from Parliament to construct the line between London and the West Midlands via a hybrid Bill.

The first shovels will hit the ground in 2017 and the first high speed trains should be speeding along the tracks between Birmingham and London by 2026.

Was this page helpful?
Yes Somewhat No

r|t|c, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:01 (nine years ago) link

ABOUT HS2 LTD

Realising Britain's transport future
HS2 Ltd is the company responsible for developing and promoting the UK’s new high speed rail network and is wholly owned by the Department for Transport.

r|t|c, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:01 (nine years ago) link

We are determined to get cracking with the invasion of Poland. We have already completed the consultation on Phase One, and in 1939 we began seeking powers from Obersalzberg to destroy the German–Polish Non-Aggression Pact.

Shepard Toney Album (dog latin), Thursday, 23 October 2014 09:28 (nine years ago) link

Optilead ‏@Optilead 2m2 minutes ago
Make your #business more like Erik Lamela and #convert with style http://www.optilead.co.uk/optilead-services/website-conversion-and-optimisation/ … #rabona

o u motherfuckers

local eire man (darraghmac), Friday, 24 October 2014 11:08 (nine years ago) link

"If I could turn back time..." Like Cher, now you can. Remember clocks go back on Sunday, at 2am. Just be thankful they don't go back to the 80's."

It was not possible to reply "fuck off" to this bulk giffgaff text

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 24 October 2014 13:44 (nine years ago) link

that's not how time works giffgaff you fucknuggets

bizarro gazzara, Friday, 24 October 2014 13:46 (nine years ago) link

was trying to find anything on twitter about their service and website being down this morning and instead all i could see was ppl posting screencaps of that and simply loving the bantz

r|t|c, Friday, 24 October 2014 13:49 (nine years ago) link

it's also not how the premise of that song works xp

well-behaved wingmen really hate Mystery (DJ Mencap), Friday, 24 October 2014 14:14 (nine years ago) link

Make your #business more like Erik Lamela and #convert with style http://www.optilead.co.uk/optilead-services/website-conversion-and-optimisation/ … #rabona

this kind of joyless hashtag piggypacking while equally disagreeable is kind of a different phenomenon I think

well-behaved wingmen really hate Mystery (DJ Mencap), Friday, 24 October 2014 14:17 (nine years ago) link

yeah you heard, piggypacking

well-behaved wingmen really hate Mystery (DJ Mencap), Friday, 24 October 2014 14:17 (nine years ago) link

Some kind of apotheosis of the form:
https://twitter.com/thetwofairies

Barry Gordy (Neil S), Friday, 7 November 2014 10:50 (nine years ago) link

London Transport twee-ness -- is it a new thing that all tube announcements start with "Ladies and Gentlemen"? Either way, I HATE IT.

Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 7 November 2014 12:02 (nine years ago) link

is that twee?

joni mitchell jarre (dog latin), Friday, 7 November 2014 12:05 (nine years ago) link

via a friend:

Woo Hoo!
Thats the geeks just doing a conga back from the post office where your carefully packed package of headshots are now in the hands of Postman Pat.
In a little while, once they've celebrated another hard days work with a coffee and Kitkat, they'll send you another email with the Royal Mail package number - and a text too.
Now, if you are anything like me you'll go onto the Royal mail website and see where it is - sorry, you'll be dissapointed. The photos are sent 'Signed For" and are not trackable. You'll be able to see they have been delivered - but you'll know that as you'll have the prints!
The prints should be delivered tomorrow (unless that's Sunday or a bank holiday).

out here like a flopson (tpp), Friday, 7 November 2014 12:39 (nine years ago) link

And if you are anything like me you'll grab your imaginary machine gun and start liberally scattering bullets into the faces of every living soul within reach in a pique of explicit violence not seen since Postman Pat ran over his black and white cat! ! ! ! Woo Hoo!

joni mitchell jarre (dog latin), Friday, 7 November 2014 12:47 (nine years ago) link

London Transport twee-ness -- is it a new thing that all tube announcements start with "Ladies and Gentlemen"? Either way, I HATE IT.

― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, November 7, 2014 12:02 PM (1 hour ago)

That's not twee friendliness, it's formal speech.

emil.y, Friday, 7 November 2014 13:54 (nine years ago) link

I don't think they used to do it, though. It's a weird mix of oldfashioned over-formality and forced bonhomie - usually strapped to some lateness or defect. ("Ladies and gentlemen... the Northern Line is closed today, as is the Metropolitan, the Bakerloo, Finsbury Park is flooded..." etc

Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 7 November 2014 15:02 (nine years ago) link

"HEY TUBEPROLES, THE TRAINS ARE FUCKED, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WALKING"

Stim McRaw (Noodle Vague), Friday, 7 November 2014 17:25 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

"We were bitterly disappointed about the lack of popcorn and understandably very upset,"

Piss-Up Artist (dog latin), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 11:50 (nine years ago) link

someone make it stop

john wahey (NickB), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 11:54 (nine years ago) link

tesco mobile's twitter feed is just the worst thing

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scottybryan/this-is-the-best-twitter-conversation-you-will

soref, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 11:55 (nine years ago) link

main tesco twitter is pretty bad too

Tesco @Tesco · Nov 23
Instead of letting it be Monday tomorrow, shall we just have another Sunday? Surely, if enough people agree, it’ll be allowed. Surely…?

soref, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 11:57 (nine years ago) link

St Andrews is the worst. Both as someone from St Andrews, and as someone who went to St Andrews University I apologise for these terrible, terrible people.

Spaceport Leuchars (dowd), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 13:48 (nine years ago) link

#Raisin2014

soref, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 13:57 (nine years ago) link

when some Tesco customer service drone writes better poetry than you maybe time to rethink yr academic career

what it feels like for a guelph (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 17:52 (nine years ago) link

Given Tesco's recent travails that tweet is just asking for a brutal truthbomb smackdown.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 17:55 (nine years ago) link


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