Kids say the darndest things

AW!

The "e" is for Envelope.

Similarly, K refers to a photo album she likes to look at as "the facebook"

"I know you're cooking me girl cheese, but are you done with your boy cheese?"

I kinda don't fit in here as I've no kids of my own but adjusting to a partner with 2 boys has been enormous fun. we'll be lying in bed weekend morning naturally unclothed and littlest will come barging in at 8am to get into bed for a cuddle and go "ewwww daddy and traytray are naked " (we aren't! just in undies ) and it cracks me up.

I kinda don't fit in here as I've no kids of my own

We welcome all sorts!

how old are the boys, trayce?

This was related to me by a friend over dinner:

My friend's husband, Mark, does sound at their church. He was busy at the soundboard during a service and my friend and their 16 month old daughter were sitting nearby. The kid really wanted her father's attention and kept saying, "Papa! Papa! Papa!" My friend would say, "Not now, Papa's busy" and try to distract her. But the kid wasn't having it. "Papa! Papa! Papa!" Finally after five or six unsuccessful tries to get Papa's attention, the kid just shouts out loud enough for the whole congregation to hear, "HEY! MARK!"

Veg: they're six and nine. smart funny lil buggers they is. dad farts, and the six year old shouts SMELL THE GLORY!

Excellent!

loool

Yesterday Evie was singing "Rude" but just the line "I'm gonna marry her anyway" over and over. I asked her if they played it at her school (this is how she heard "Call Me Maybe" and that terrible One Direction song) and she said no, her friend Cameron told her about it. I wish I had been there when one four-year-old was teaching another about the song "Rude." Then when she was going to bed she asked me to play "gonna marry her anyway" on my phone and I lied and said it wasn't on Spotify.

now you can tell that story when you toast her on her wedding day

it's a weird thing when young kids start singing random pop songs (especially when they're songs you haven't heard yourself). My son was singing that "moves like jagger" song all the time a couple of years ago. He probably just heard it on the radio or whatever, but for like a couple of weeks the only version of that song that I was familiar with was the one sung by a 4 year old.

Oh, this is the version that I learned first. Thanks again, kids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_93QVNSCmg

I don't think I've ever heard the original song before! That seems impossible, though.

H: "Look! I'm talking!" *moves jaws and lips silently in exaggerated fashion.*

This, while I'm sitting here reading the weird twitter thread.

Ella at 19 months, practising sounds to herself: "duck luck wuck nuck fuck (sees our amused reaction) fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

"WUP! WUP! WUP! GANG MUSTACHE STYLE!"

my youngest has gotten into use/mention fun with cussing, e.g. "I saw a graffiti today that said "fuck", that's a bad word"

a joke my son told me the other day:

Q: Why are pumpkins orange?
A: Because they don't have any butts

I loled.

That's great! There has been a resurgence of my girl's butt drawings (as pictured here: Kids say the darndest things)

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10649979_10152761422748783_2192251034107899275_n.jpg?oh=d359291813669507707383a5f085f92f&oe=5486D5C3

This weekend she announced that she was going to draw "the perfect butt" (not pictured). It's become an obsession.

You can see how the butts have progressed from two circles with a line drawn in-between to one oblong with a line down the middle. She obviously has spent some time in reflective thought and observation.

last yr I took a trip and my youngest made me a goodbye card. she drew a toilet with floating turds. "Daddy, I drew something you'd like," she told me.

lol.

She was...right?

PP: Pete and Repeat go into a store. Pete comes out. Who's left?
BEEPS: Uh... Ree?
PP: Ree? OK, listen. Pete and Repeat go into a store. Pete comes out. Who's left inside the store?
BEEPS: You're saying it again.
PP: You know this one?
BEEPS: Know what?
PP: Just tell me... Pete and Repeat, ok, go inside the store. Pete comes back outside. Now who's left in the store?
BEEPS: Ree.
PP: WHY ARE YOU SAYING JUST "REE"?
BEEPS: BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT "PEAT" CAME OUT. THAT LEAVES THE "RE-" PART IN THE STORE.

I got sonned (or daughtered) by my own dumb-ass joke.

Oh snap.

awesome

Rad

Poor pplains.

"HEY! MARK!"

Yeah, I've had that one: Alice age two.

"Hey! I'm your dad, right? I'm not your mother's boyfriend!"

Alice: "Ha ha ha"

it's a weird thing when young kids start singing random pop songs (especially when they're songs you haven't heard yourself).

Yeah, one time I was driving along, and Amber (5 then) says "Can I sing a song?" "OK" i say, and then she breaks into "To dream the impossible dream" from Man of La Mancha, full voice. I nearly crash..

"Where did you get that song from?"
"Oh, Milo sang it on The Tweenies"

Molly's been watching too many youtube videos of people talking about toys. On the bus this morning she was playing with her Princess Anna toy, taking her dress off and saying 'I love the detailing on this, and it's got a velcro fastening so it's easy to get off' There are so many words in her vocabulary that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for youtube, I feel quite ashamed

I don't listen to the radio much. I worked in radio all my working years until I was almost 40 and I'm just done with it. Besides, I like being able to hear the kids in the backseat and I don't get so distracted as easily.

But out of nowhere, now they both want to hear the radio in the car. Beeps wants pop. Hank wants rock and roll. "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica was actually somewhat of a hit for him yesterday.

This morning, they want it on again. Fine. We land right at the intro of "Beast of Burden".

HANK: This is sad music. I WANT ROCK & ROLL!

awesome

loool

Ben: What's a PAC?

Me: P-A-C-K or P-A-C?

Ben: P-A-C

Me: Well, a PAC is a political organization that you can donate money to. Then, they can give that money to politicians that have the same views.

Owen: Then why is he called Pac-Man?

hahaha

nice.

"this store smells like my vagina"

whaaaaaat

Please tell me she said that loudly.

tbf this quote was related to me by my wife

omg omg omg

the best

This weekend we stopped in Hastings-on-Hudson, which is one of those *charming towns* in the Hudson Valley north of NYC. We sat down for brunch at a yuppie farm-to-table restaurant and Keren exclaimed "This is the Berkshires!"

We're sitting at Ella's drawing table, which is by the front windows, and an extremely loud, rumbling-engined motorbike roars past.

Ella says, "Fart! Fart!"