Worst TV adverts of the moment

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HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm going to have to once again bring up that awful loan advert where the guy is wandering around the house on the phone bouncing a football around, and his wife is filming him with a camera.

"who are you talking to?"
"Mike!"

good grief

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I shall just say...

"Ooh, Homebuyer man!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

wkd is the worst of all possible ad campaigns

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:24 (seventeen years ago) link

OTM Enrique and RJG (did I just say that?). Is WKD supposed to be marketed at closet homosexuals who want their mates to cockblock them every time they're in a situation where they could pull? That's the only message I'm getting from the ads.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Ste OTM

The "They better not cancel football" bloke is extremely punchable.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:21 (seventeen years ago) link

However I do like the Vomit advert where the kid has PE and his Mum packed his Dad's pants instead of his swimming trunks so he wears them anyway and jumps off a diving board and uses them as a kind of parachute. Top stuff!

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes the WKD ads seem to be going from random prank into rather more horrible things. The next one will be one of the lads disabling the brakes on the other ones car or something.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I find myself strangely drawn to the estate agent twerp in the BT ad.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:57 (seventeen years ago) link

he reminds me of me, a bit. hope he turns up in Doctor Who next year.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:00 (seventeen years ago) link

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

I honestly read this "the Cod Police" and thought Greenland is exactly where you *would* find them.

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't decide which is more annoying:
"Shh....akespeare!" or "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:01 (seventeen years ago) link

there's another one tha bugs me everytime i see it but i have blanked it from my mind, or something. however this one:

> "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

is close.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha ha, the football finals!

And yes, when your mates find out you've swapped them for a telly, they're not gonna be impressed at your suave sophistication, they're gonna give you a shoeing

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:25 (seventeen years ago) link

(but the point was he only had one spare ticket.)

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link

But they obviously don't care that much about the match. They can't even be bothered to get to their friend's place before the start of the game!

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:33 (seventeen years ago) link

But he gave away ALL his tickets, hence being able to host his chums.

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Also he is a twunt because he invites them all round to watch The Football Finals, and doesn't give them so much as a beer to drink in his soulless white yuppieboy flat.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Everybody OTM. "Shh....akespeare!" - what a cunt. HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE? Do you know anyone like this at all? I suppose alcopops are for teenagers, but they can't really show that in the adverts. "So you've got tickets to the football finals" Mystifyingly bad - who is this aimed at? They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it? Maybe they're planning on using the advert for ten years.

I can't remember the product but a similarly naff football-themed one recently went something like this:

Jeremy: No, I'm the biggest footer fan.
Tarquin: No, I am. I buy a new replica kit every week.
Jeremy: That's nothing I've been watching Teh Soccer Finals since 2002!
Tarquin: Well, I've got Michael Owen in that cupboard over there.
Michael Owen: He's right.

― Teh littlest HoBBo (the pirate king), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:37 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a horrible local (?) ad for a dating hotline where the female narrator talks about the dating preferences of people at a party, in a sort've jazzy sprechgesang, like "michael is a writer who hopes to write a novel soon". It wouldn't even be a noticable ad except that it goes on for fucking ever! It must be a full two minutes long, and they tell you all about 15 or 16 fictional people, it drives me crazy.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 17:34 (seventeen years ago) link

this seems a reasonable place to ask: what's the music in the orange/broadband/bicycle ad? the internet (okay, commercial breaks and beats) doesn't seem to know.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:57 (seventeen years ago) link

it sounds like something from sodastream's first album.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it?

Probably has to do with licensing...to use the phrase "World Cup" in your add would mean you'd have to be associated with FIFA somehow, or would have to follow their guidelines, etc. FIFA would consider it cheaping their sponsorship if other companies could namecheck the World Cup. Same with the Superbowl...it's always called the "Big Game" or "Sunday's game".

― musically (musically), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 23:42 (seventeen years ago) link

bad ad i couldn't remember is the 'beauty editor' and her 'penta-peptides' which you'd expect to pay celebrity prices for, but no, they are only £20. for some face cream. so that's ok then. said ad got rubbished in the front of the guardian guide on saturday.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:49 (seventeen years ago) link

hunger?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I belive her full job title is 'celebrity beauty editor'. You wouldn't expect some bog-standard beauty editor to be privy to the wonder of penta-peptides now would you.

― robster (robster), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:52 (seventeen years ago) link

whos?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:04 (seventeen years ago) link

so are plenitude action lipisomes an old technology now then? and whatever happened to carla williams? did she graduate from her hair and beauty course and do her friends still often ask her what to do with their hair? we must be told.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

It's the only excitement he's had to look forward to this summer. I never want to see an advert with a footballer in it ever again - esp. not if they have to talk/act.

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:14 (seventeen years ago) link

'Are you a wax virgin?'

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:17 (seventeen years ago) link

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:22 (seventeen years ago) link

OTMs

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

thank you. i doff my cap, as always.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

the real question is whether he'll have to get on the tube with it.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (seventeen years ago) link

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

hi dere dead inside

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (seventeen years ago) link

you like that song!?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

Does he get as far as the fresh veg, then collapse holding his leg and crawl into the potatoes till the physio turns up?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Cleverest advert of the moment: the Food Standards Agency one about barbecues with sausages sizzling and "When Will I See You Again?" on the soundtrack. "Sooner than you think if you don't cook them properly," flashes the caption. Quite good, that one.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

He appears in the advert even tho he hasn't collected a curry all year. Then he passes an Argentinian customer and falls over.

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:43 (seventeen years ago) link

A grillion grillion worlds of OTM re: "wax virginity", with the bird who used to be on Hollyoaks but SORRY LOVE you're a brunette so it's off to screeching hen-night esque hellholes for you where you get attacked by Ming-Ra with her waxing strips and a bunch of chanting friends who then wax your ALREADY BARE LEGS FFS and "oooh it didn't hurt at all" - yes that's probably cos you've already had 2138472374 suggestively named cocktails and are anaestheticised to all feelings both physical and emotional.

The REAL worst thing is that I still have to buy them because the own brand ones are even WORSE! Urgh!!

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:53 (seventeen years ago) link

I am irritated by, but also quite fond of them, in a pitying way, of the really obvious pre-op "ladies" on the Activia ads who keep saying they're "bloated". Ghost symptons mate. I mean COME ON one of them even wears the most obvious CHOKER in the world!

Is anyone ever actually "bloated"? We were discussing this in the park the other day. Doesn't it just mean "full"? Really? Or over-sensitivity to fat at emotional times of the month?

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha the US Activia ads are silly too! Although they appear to have women who were born that way. With "front bottoms" and everything.

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:02 (seventeen years ago) link

"Some people think the internet is a bad thing..."

... whereas I think your advertising campaign is shit thing

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah and with AOL wireless broadband is the same price as regular broadband. WTF? Their whole shtick is to make confused people even more confused, then present thim with the solution to a non-existent problem. Wankers.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Halifax.
Big Brovaz.
That is all.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:21 (seventeen years ago) link

"They're Gonna Taste Great! They're Gonna Taste Great!"

and still, those AA adverts. 1.) I think it would be pretty creepy to be stranded in the middle of nowhere while an army of flourscent-jacketed mechanics descend upon me and 2.) How inept are they if it takes that many to actually fix the damn car?

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:32 (seventeen years ago) link

How fucking homoerotic is that Coke Zero advert?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Coke Zero tastes like someone has put toothpaste in an ordinary can of Coke.... avoid!!

There's one horrific ad where a cat is walking around a bath-tub with an irritating Yorkshire bumpkin voiceover blaring stuff like "Oscar lahks to play around me bath! And ya just gotta laugh, when he sniffs round that plug'ole!". Ugh.

And also "It's better to get Curanail than be a Criminail!". Words fail me.

― JTS (JTS), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:11 (seventeen years ago) link

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