Worst coffee award goes to: Dunkin' Donuts

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I refuse to accept wrongness in this matter. I realize that I am being somewhat obstinate in this, but its just a lame, over-corporatization of a simple, well-understood menu item from any other coffe bar in america.

A cafe au lait. Thanks. Here's your money.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Why don't you call it coffee with milk you effete snob.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:55 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm not blaming the person working behind the counter, I'm blaming the Starbucks corporate code, which dictates that things should be called by certain Starbucks-approved(TM) names in order to promote brand identity, market differentiation, maximal $$$ generation, etc.

In some places this drink would be called "cafe con leche" I think.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:55 (eighteen years ago) link

That doesn't exactly imply the proportions of a cafe au lait, now does it?

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:56 (eighteen years ago) link

O.Nate, OTM.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Way to rage against the machine, guys! I'm sure that Starbuck's will never use the name "Misto" ever again.

― Dan (Ineffectually Fight The Power!) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:57 (eighteen years ago) link

hahahaha

― tehresa (tehresa), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, Dan. Give me my rant. Please.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 19:59 (eighteen years ago) link

It's not about the fact that the guy corrected him (yes, fine, he needs to MAKE SURE that the "Maestro" or whatever is the same thing this other thing he's ordered), it's about how he apparently corrected him with this East Coast/West Coast nonsense! He was pretty obviously being a douchebag, or he was obviously an idiot, one of the two, but this wasn't a case of simple clarification!

xpost Dan you are standing in a very trecherous position calling out other people for ineffectual rants! I mean I might as well start calling out the Starbucks dude for being an overcorrective, smug douche immediately after posting corrections to Spanish spellings on the St. Patrick's thread!!!!!!!!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

actually, make that a rant au lait.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

rant con leche you racist.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:03 (eighteen years ago) link

See, if you'd been that nice to the douchey coffee jockey, his icey heart might have melted and you could have had a special understanding. As it was, you merely made the wounds in his already aching soul deeper with your unthinking cruelty.

For shame, sir; FOR SHAME.

(xpost: Ally, the complete and utter tenuousness of my rhetorical stance is what is making this fun! It's like the salt thread of March.)

― Dan (Try A Little Tenderness) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:04 (eighteen years ago) link

At my favorite local coffee place, it is a cafe au lait and nothing else.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm now tempted to stop by a starbucks to see if the menu says MISTO or CAFE AU LAIT, as this is the east coast. that might be awkward though, cause once i found out, i'd just turn around and leave. maybe if it said MISTO i could be like 'EXCUSE MY WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE CAFE AU LAIT HERE?! OMGWTF!?' and storm out.

― tehresa (tehresa), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:06 (eighteen years ago) link

(Dan that was my point!!!!!!!) (Also TENUOUS was the word I wanted not TRECHEROUS)

Anyway I lived out west also and have never heard of this abomination but I never really frequented Starbucks til I moved back east and lived pretty much next door or above multiple Starbucks. Still it doesn't make sense, "West Coast" cafe au lait and "East Cost" cafe au lait. It's like Hellman's v Best Foods, wtf they're the same goddamn thing.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I actually think I threw and East Coast gang sign at him and derided his California-ness.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:10 (eighteen years ago) link

...threw AN East Coast gang sign...

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Hahaha now THAT would fall squarely into the category of "awesome responses".

― Dan ("Misto THIS, Bitch! EAST SIIIIIIIIIIDE!") Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:13 (eighteen years ago) link

my girlfriend loves to order cafe au lait, but no starbucks ever seems to have it on the menu (tho they will make it). I'm going to have to ask her about this misto crap.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Thank you, Dan. It seems we have an accord.

Cafe Au Lait, bitches. REPRESENT!!!! (throws oddly contorted hand gesture at computer screen)

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:15 (eighteen years ago) link

at my favorite new coffee place here on the island, *Beetlebung*, my fave iced coffee drink is called a *BUNG-O-CINO*!!! I LOVE ordering it. ONe Bungochino please! I haven't had the guts to say it like Beavis yet, though.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Scott, we weep. You simply must do this.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

FWIW I have very very rarely heard anyone order or even say "café au lait" on the East Coast. It's just a coffee, isn't it, and you add your own damn milk. You want the milk heated up for you, you got the wrong store pal.

xpost Scott oh my god.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Scott, the next time you go there you should dress up as Bernardo's best friend from "West Side Story" and ask them for your bung.

― Dan (Theatre Humor) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I'll admit that it is not a commonly ordered drink. But it is much easier than a latte - half coffee, half milk that is waiting for a latte to be made, and DONE!

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah Tracer is OTM, I mean it really just is coffee and milk but of course THAT IS WHAT THE TERMINOLOGY MEANS so it's hardly a surprise.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I like how we're all such preening ninnies.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

I think the "misto" is one of those officially unofficial "off-menu" drinks at Starbucks. Like the "short cappucino" that they wrote up recently on Slate.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

I revel in my preening and my ninnyness.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

O.Nate - Like animal style at In-N-Out?

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I prefer the term "fancy boy"

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Alright. I'm gonna go order a cafe au lait on the way to school.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm drinking hazelnut coffee. From a korean deli. MANLY.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm not familiar with the "animal style" - it's been a while since I've been to an In N Out.

A quick Google on "starbucks misto" turns up a lot of references which indicates that it is indeed the preferred Starbucks terminology - and some people who dispute that it is really the same drink as a cafe au lait.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally, I think the general cultural consensus states that it's okay if you aren't manly!

― Dan (Paragraph 48, Subsection 15B) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:27 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha okay, I hadn't read the details of the Great Au Lait Controversy but now that I have that's got to be maybe the cuntiest correction ever. Did you flip your Raybans down, angrily sling your tennis racket over your shoulder and storm out to your Acura SUV aftwards, Hurting?

-- Dan ("Come, Muffy; These Cads Don't DESERVE Our Custom!") Perry (djperry@gmail.com), March 14th, 2006.

That wasn't me!!!

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:27 (eighteen years ago) link

haha yes Shaggy that has been determined

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:28 (eighteen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/Aaron123/megasXLR/Scooby%20Doo/Zoinks--small.png

― Dan (Zoinks!!!) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:29 (eighteen years ago) link

i think some of the worst coffee i've ever had is at gas station mini-marts that sell "flavored" coffees like hazelnut and it's just some noxious oil that they throw in with the regular mud. oof.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

the new adventures of old christine would totally have an episode where christine orders a cafe au lait at starbucks.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:31 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh gas station mini-mart coffee is full of oil whether or not it is flavored. YIKES

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

PS Googling for that picture I posted led me here: http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/scoobyvan/Main.html

― Dan (Someone Call This Man A Doctor) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

i have to agree with scott, this stuff tastes foul, acidic, and rancid. its so bad. its like air freshener that gives your poop a nice complex, flowery bouquet.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:33 (eighteen years ago) link

In some places this drink would be called "cafe con leche" I think.

-- o. nate (syne_wav...), March 14th, 2006.

A local coffeeshop owner told me that Cafe Con Leche is made with condensed milk, but that might just be the way she makes it. Dunno. But Jersey City does have a ton of places that serve it due to the sizeable Cuban population, so she may know what she's talking about. In any case, good espresso + steamed condensed milk = fucking amazing.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I think there are different ways to make cafe con leche - like there are different ways to make cafe au lait. Some people use drip coffee, some use espresso. Some use regular milk, some use cream or condensed milk. I think the basic common denominator is some form of coffee mixed with some form of steamed milk product.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:41 (eighteen years ago) link

http://img5.ranchoweb.com/images/test/starbucks.jpg

― Spink, Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't get it. Is Starbucks somehow implicated in Rwandan genocide?

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:43 (eighteen years ago) link

(though I guess even the "steamed" part is contested, because some recipes maintain that cafe au lait should be made with scalded - not steamed - milk)

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:45 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11625229/

― Spink, Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:46 (eighteen years ago) link

That article doesn't answer my question.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 20:52 (eighteen years ago) link

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