your terrible ideas

a tattoo accross my abdominal region similar to 2pac's thug life but instead said "UGH, LIFE."

then on the other side, symmetrically rainbowing above your butt, "a bug's life, starring dave foley", and a really cool closeup of Flik

I'm gonna start a pool-painting company, but instead of just making them blue on the inside, I'm gonna paint them with giant-size reproductions of fine art. That's right, you heard me: Fine Art Pools. Monet's Water Lilies, Van Gogh's Starry Night, The Scream, etc.

Anyway, along with the painting, customers would get the following sign which they could hang on their privacy fence or changing room:

Welcome to our _ine ___ Pool.
Notice there is no FART in our Fine Art Pool.
Please help us keep it that way.

F.A.P.

even better!

or more terrible.

the pool at this hotel i used to DJ at had underwater speakers and when you'd be above water you'd be hearing cool/chill lounge/dance music then when you went underwater it was classical music, p cool

I feel like that's a commercial for something, like maybe when the guy goes underwater and the classical music is playing he bites into a york peppermint patty and the tagline is "Find Your Own Cool"

Cool/chill lounge dance music is playing, guy does a big bounce off a diving board, zoom out, reveal pool is empty, slo-motion people are rushing forward in alarm but guy is blissfully unconcerned, guy is popping a Starburst into his mouth, guy hits the surface and it's suddenly full of fruity churning with bright clear bubbles, as "Feel Good Time" by P!nk explodes onto the soundtrack, and the tagline is "Find Your Own Pool"

a gigantic towering statue, a penis, gleaming, glistening, 600 feet tall, with incredible detailed balls, straight up, and the balls are the museum and giftshop

cut out the tower and the museum, and leave just the balls and gift shop

Bro Jam, a band of aggro, musclebound bros who cover only Pearl Jam songs and songs from the Space Jam soundtrack and whose between-song "banter" consists entirely of audience harassment.

I've always hated Tupac but never really objectively listened to anything of his, so while doing yard work the other day I listened to All Eyez on Me.

At one point another rapper comes in and my first thought is that it sounded like Trugoy / Dave from De La Soul which seemed like the most incongruous guest spot ever. Later it sounded like Tupac said the phrase "Ron Paul" which also seemed weird.

My terrible idea is that someday, some combination of sufficiently advanced artificial intelligence, vast lyrical content analysis, and whatever made the Tupac hologram a reality could generate previously non-existent hip hop tracks made to your specifications. So you could ask for and hear, say, a Tupac song about Ron Paul with a guest verses from Trugoy and Kool Moe Dee, produced by Prince Paul.

A Tumblr called 'Ghouls in Kagools'.

A tribute act called Bond Jovi, which does Bon Jovi songs in the style of Bond themes and vice versa.

dog latin, don't give that one away for free. you should totally do that.

I had a dream last night about Older Retired Sibling Magazine. Kinda thinking I need to sink my life savings into making it a reality.

I can actually hear the Bond theme interpolated with 'You Give Love A Bad Name' in my head now.

Please just do "You give love lolololove a bad babad ba bad bad bad name name name name naname name name."

To the guitar part and it's just you and a acoustic.

a small town used car dealership commercial that gets progressively louder and angrier and distorted and closer to the owner's screaming mouth and then zooms out slightly to show that you're in the used car dealership owner's sweaty shed in the backwoods and he's still screaming at you and there's no door

that's got to be your next project Karl. srs.

Like an advertising version of 'the Pressures of the Text'.

dying at that image

it's got to build so gradually and be so horrible and distorted by the end, like that moment where you're just about to nod off on the train and the sounds around you get replaced by 'sleep noise'.

series of 'young adult' James Bond spin-off novels told from the POV of Blofeld's cat

I had an idea the other day for a horror movie called "I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE"

and then the sequel, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE TOO

Like an advertising version of 'the Pressures of the Text'.

dang, i hadn't seen that before! all terrible ideas have been done before

On October 31, 2014: HE WILL SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

"Jeff, I dunno, I'm nervous, do you think anyone sees what we did here?"
"Don't worry, no one is gonna see what we did here, I promise."
...

Secondhand -- an app that resolves the impossibility of taking a "Home Alone Selfie" by digitally adding a realistic hand to your other cheek

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE LAST SUMMER

dying at all of the above

A blog of music interviews that takes bands to task for factual errors in their songs: "Joey Tempest of Europe, do you still maintain that Venus is, indeed, 'light years' away?"

A version of "God Bless The U.S.A." with extra-dramatic breaks/pauses right after the part where he sings "And I'll gladly stand UP" like the first time it just drops out for a second, the second time it's longer, the third time there's this sick two-bar drum fill, etc.

I can hear it now, and it's glorious

50 Shades of Green - erotic fiction for stoners

Dude! Get on that.

gtf

we can have nothing nice at all with ye

An album called 'James Blunt rhymes with...', where Blunt collaborates with various rappers.

order the toaster that can imprint images onto bread and have burn an image of the dog with the butthole that has jesus in it onto my toast every morning

A group of very bad musicians getting together to form a Can cover band called Can't

Where do I sign up?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Rylan

A Dyson Airblade commercial featuring Tommy Cooper.

a psychedelic mash-up of 'butterfly kisses' and 'kisses for breakfast' called 'butterfly kisses for breakfast'. the incoherence of lyrics such as 'butterfly kisses for breakfast after bedtime prayer' and 'to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses for breakfast at night' will be celebrated in this mash-up.

A limited edition Fanta called Fanta Black that's coloured with Vantablack (which is probably poisonous anyway).

A cover version of Bananarama's 'Venus', retitled 'Penis', with the lyrics amended accordingly.