Bait My Clickhole

haven't really found any of these that funny tbh

How much time do you spend looking at things people link from Upworthy or Buzzfeed? Half the enjoyment of Clickhole is the skewering of the "feel-good" and "fun" nature of those sites. The jokes are a bonus.

I wonder if this site will help destroy social clickbait or just reinforce it

99.99999 sure neither

Clickbait will keep morphing from lists to quizzes to gifs to something else. It's kind of hard to kill.

I just I had the "hide all from whatever.com" on my phone rather than just on the desktop version

I wish I had

How much time do you spend looking at things people link from Upworthy or Buzzfeed?

About 3 minutes a year, when there's a really good gallery of 100 cat photos on Buzzfeed. So 3/525600 of the time?

how do you know which cat photos are the best unless you look at all of themmmmm

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

damn

haven't really found any of these that funny tbh

bingo, these are such an easy thing to lampoon and yet they do it so poorly, even feedbuzz was better than this

though I do have some hope for the future of clickhole

clickhole's main joke seems to be that other things are vacant and unfunny. well sure, but it's not a very good joke.

it's made me laugh harder than the new season of Louie

bingo, these are such an easy thing to lampoon and yet they do it so poorly, even feedbuzz was better than this

― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

don't you talk about feedbuzz like that

clickhole's main joke seems to be that other things are vacant and unfunny. well sure, but it's not a very good joke.

― Pew Nornographers (contenderizer), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we are all vacant and unfunny and that's the only joke there ever was

even feedbuzz was better than this

― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:42 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark

Wow this is probably the most offensive thing you have ever posted

They've already been doing this for a little while with their slideshows on the onion. I'm not really ready (or cool enough) to write off clickhole after a few days. There have already been a couple of things that have made me laugh pretty hard.

i'm cool enough to write off clickhole, but i'm not, i'm laughing off of it

the best part of clickhole is the fact they have actual bullshit click-bait ads at the bottom that I keep thinking are satire

such a great part of it.

on their first day, I clicked on one thinking it'd be another satirical article, and it took several moments for me to realize I had gone to another site

i mean, i think a huge part of my enjoyment of clickhole is working in the media industry for 12 years and slowly watching the media outlets I love move from

http://www.villagevoice.com/2003-04-15/music/mr-and-mrs-used-to-be/

to

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/2013/04/hottest_dancing_coachella_gifs.php

Since the Onion itself has moved from making weekly satire to hourly clickbait, I'm guessing a lot of veterans of the staff are feeling the fatigue, and I imagine clickhole is coming from a very real place

the hate is palpable

that's a fair point actually. i shd probably revisit it in a week or so.

I can imagine some humor writers who've finessed their craft for a decade could probably get a little bent out of shape at the Buzzfeeds, Crackeds, Chives, &c getting monster traffic by gaming the system as opposed to actually making better material.

Its something that a lot of music writers have been going through for the last few years (paging @maura)

Whiney otm

the best part of clickhole is the fact they have actual bullshit click-bait ads at the bottom that I keep thinking are satire

― mh, Thursday, June 19, 2014 9:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

UK posters may be reminded of the terrible 'improve your memory' type ads in Viz (which I think they still run)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

hi guys

so - youtube has pulled the calvin and hobbes vid

Probably sensible given the potential legal issues.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Friday, June 20, 2014 8:00 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this one is the best, dont really care about the rest of the site tho

Jesus Christ that village voice coachella thing is so dour

http://www.clickhole.com/article/woman-takes-one-photo-herself-every-day-week-337

Yeah the Voice in the last several years is like a debauched, strung-out junkie version of its former self.

the Voice is soon going to be a single guy in his underwear posting clickporn photo sets of sex events

― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Thursday, May 9, 2013 12:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I like cracked in that they'll put at least a modicum of actual research into their bits.

Also their ed-in-chief has admitted to writing some Clickhole jokes. I wonder how many AV Club/Dissolve writers have done the same.

I can imagine some humor writers who've finessed their craft for a decade could probably get a little bent out of shape at the Buzzfeeds, Crackeds, Chives, &c getting monster traffic by gaming the system as opposed to actually making better material.

and the onion kind of depends on the existence of normal news to acclimatize people! what must young buzzfeed hedz even think about all those worrrrds

Area man ponders current state of online journalism.

tbh i sort of felt bad for cracked once buzzfeed and upworthy usurped facebook, they sucked but at least they put some time in

yeah i checked cracked just now and they've gone way more upworthy and less gonzo

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-noir-films-have-you-seen-331

(That image is from bela tarr's 'man from London', from the long 13 minute opening shot)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/bop-it-350

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-things-only-people-who-went-sleepaway-camp-will--344

i mean, i think a huge part of my enjoyment of clickhole is working in the media industry for 12 years and slowly watching the media outlets I love move from

http://www.villagevoice.com/2003-04-15/music/mr-and-mrs-used-to-be/

to

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/2013/04/hottest_dancing_coachella_gifs.php

Since the Onion itself has moved from making weekly satire to hourly clickbait, I'm guessing a lot of veterans of the staff are feeling the fatigue, and I imagine clickhole is coming from a very real place

― macklemorange is the new wack (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:38 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god, this resonates so much. i guess i didn't realize how much i missed even halfway decent journalism when i compared those two VV links. oy vey.

the Voice is soon going to be a single guy in his underwear posting clickporn photo sets of sex events

― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Thursday, May 9, 2013 12:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2014/06/sucked-into-the-clickhole.html?utm_source=tny&utm_campaign=generalsocial&utm_medium=twitter&mbid=social_twitter

actually kinda disappointed that it's jokey, i've found 'straight' coverage of the onion to be pretty interesting

to be clear, I meant the focus of the Clickhole article, not Max Tundra

seems clear that 1) the photo is intended as illustrating 'the worst person' and 2) the whole concept of the article is irredeemably stupid (see also: 'heartbreak' of psoriasis)

sometimes i wonder what point the clickhole guy is making. is it a point that plays against his type, like you need to be nicer to your wife, or a point that fits his character, something about survival of the fittest or the interlocuter's sexual insecurities?

Not sure I was ready for "Stolen Valor: This Man Is Wearing a Toupee Despite Having Floor Length Golden Hair"

https://clickhole.com/major-backfire-a-gop-led-investigation-into-discrimination-against-white-people-has-concluded-nothing-except-that-calling-someone-a-honky-is-actually-very-funny/

I Found ClickHole’s “Worst Person You Know”

that article was terrible

Good point

sorry, could not resist that.

Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.

ffs calm down, you weren't tracking down a Nazi war criminal in hiding

honestly that was the only "we tracked down this famous person from a stock photo" article that wasn't entertaining

it does read like a clickhole article, only much less funny

Good point

okay I lolled

Way to lead us on. At least I posted alternate photos of the backpack girl.

yikes

https://clickhole.com/a-piece-of-history-the-bass-amp-that-gave-away-osama-bin-ladens-position-to-u-s-forces-while-he-was-teaching-himself-to-play-higher-ground-by-the-red-hot-chili-peppers-is/?fbclid=IwAR1xwPOU2M-bn5_y01B8oiQFS5EnUpWFashEjiBh2dlgnp6nU6zTjUvK5WM

lol Ultimate-Guitar.com tab reference was A+

I'm a little annoyed the photo doesn't actually depict a crate BX-50, which would have been visually funnier as well as accurate

https://clickhole.com/a-piece-of-history-the-bass-amp-that-gave-away-osama-bin-ladens-position-to-u-s-forces-while-he-was-teaching-himself-to-play-higher-ground-by-the-red-hot-chili-peppers-is/ for those not inclined to help Meta Inc. track clicks.

kidhole

Give Mommy’s Jewelry To Your School Friends!!! https://t.co/mT07LpntMM

— KidHole (@ClickHole) February 2, 2022

https://reductress.com/post/what-surprised-me-most-about-becoming-a-parent-was-that-i-was-forced-to-by-the-government/

https://clickhole.com/embracing-his-inner-child-this-man-is-having-more-fun-1825123770/

Didn't see this when it came out; unbelievably cursed

But the doll glimpsed in the photo is clearly inflatable, so why did it come in such a big box?

https://clickhole.com/theyre-gonna-collide-these-two-oafs-together-arent-they-these-two-uncles-just-excitedly-posted-on-facebook-that-they-got-a-new-job-at-cern-even-though-neither-of-them-are-scientists-or-anything/?fbclid=IwAR0p8Fy7K5p0JjVbPlUBn9UBKckRCmy06mhaTzGnTGWQOQSC__aF_HXq1nA

https://clickhole.com/holding-themselves-accountable-npr-has-apologized-for-the-steve-bannon-tiny-desk-concert-where-he-played-cherry-pie-with-alex-g-and-waxahatchee/?fbclid=IwAR0M5S262cdLMdTwcx62bTZroyGo4dPIsYB6Jq-EtBwN26w-2A0nzqvQe1Q

fbclid=IwAR0M5S262cdLMdTwcx62bTZroyGo4dPIsYB6Jq-EtBwN26w-2A0nzqvQe1Q

I've tried convincing myself that the ?fbclid=IwAR0p8Fy7K5p0JjVbPlUBn9UBKckRCmy06mhaTzGnTGWQOQSC__aF_HXq1nA's are part of the Clickhole joke.

definitely seems like a subtle sign of decline in quality. Reading the headlines in url form used to be part of the fun

sorry if that was a joke itself, but just in case: FB adds those to outbound links, Clickhole has no control over it

Now I'm wondering if rob is part of the joke.

https://clickhole.com/nothingdiffernt-bewtween-being-alive-and-bring-dead-by-queen-elizabeth-ii/

Lates quan blonk very goos

https://clickhole.com/your-churchs-christmas-pageant-has-a-scene-where-jesus-shaves-his-legs-17-signs-your-priest-is-being-sponsored-by-gillette/

Richard D. Zanuck: You can’t make a shark movie without a shark, and we were running into a lot of dead ends because when word got out that we were making a movie that was going to make sharks look like dicks, no one wanted to lend us their sharks.

pic.twitter.com/qHaY4dtTon

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) February 21, 2023

I didn't laugh, but I agreed the fuck out of it

https://clickhole.com/nostalgia-overload-todays-throwback-google-doodle-shows-a-guy-in-2013-getting-usable-results-from-his-google-search/

Most of the older links upthread seem to be broken. Probably can find the articles searching but I liked having this thread as an archive.

Recent posts are looking a little grim for the site’s future.

oh wow

It hasn’t been funny in a long time

the kinds of sites it's satirizing have largely gone bankrupt. sad!

well this one made me laugh a lot

https://clickhole.com/beautiful-hall-and-oates-have-reconciled-after-thinking-up-a-song-called-ace-and-a-half-where-a-sexy-lady-plays-cards/

it's been consistently funny despite its targets vanishing imo

https://clickhole.com/9-freddy-krueger-quotes-you-should-never-repeat-to-a-pregnant-woman/

Questions of ongoing relevance or humo aside, just in case anyone isn't taking a peek at their homepage, i think JoeStork was initially referring to these being the top 4 headlines at the time:

The Tragedy Of The American Economy: It Is Now Almost Impossible To Support A Family Of Five On An Online Satirist’s Salary

Job-Hogger: While The Majority Of Her Coworkers Got Laid Off, This Digital Media Employee Is Currently Taking On 4 Jobs’ Worth Of Work

LOL, Good Luck With That: This Writer Believes The $2.5 Trillion Dollar Media And Entertainment Industry Can Somehow Find The Money To Pay Her A Lower-Middle-Class Wage

Inheriting A Trainwreck: The Few Remaining Employees Of This Gutted Digital Media Outlet Are Holding A Seance To Contact A Recently Deceased Coworker Who Has Sole Admin Privileges For Their Company’s Facebook Page

also that same day:

Just Because A Job Is Useless Doesn’t Mean It’s Okay When It Abruptly Ends