Worst Band Names

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Don't know what it is about Commonwealth membership that makes people stupid, but any Aus/NZ/Canadian band who think their name is funny. Step forward Mental as Anything, Tragically Hip, Lowest of the Low, Barenaked Ladies, Hoodoo Gurus, Flash and the Pan, Beasts of Bourbon etc. (Although there is a band out of Toronto called Armed & Hammered, which I think is amusing, and something from Oz called I Spit on Your Gravy)

― tarden, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Ass Ponys. Horrid...

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

joshroom.

― fred solinger, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

the orb - if you cite the album titles as evidence.
(can't even bring myself to remember what they were.)

― K-reg, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Death Cab for Cutie. Tad. The Meatmen. The Bloodhound Gang.

Killing Joke is actually a pretty good band name.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

tarden, the better 'bourbon' band name than Beasts of Bourbon (better WORSE I mean), is The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir. You also left out the more obvious Toronto choice - The Barenaked Ladies. (or was that on purpose?)

But hands down, the two most unforgivable band names I've ever heard are oddly enough, both 'soul' related - The Soul Attorneys & Blessid Union of Souls. p.s. Soul Coughing is a really bad name too.

― Kim, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tarden - none of the bands you mention are from NZ, thanks. Split Enz are tho', & that name is pretty rude on 2 levels, (1) the obvious & (2) putting "NZ" in the name to inspire some sort of patriotic angle...what a "i come from some fucking little who-gives-a-shit country" fuckin hick thing to do.

― duane zarakov, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The (International) Noise Conspiracy. Loses extra points for the parenthesis, and for the fact that they are basically the bastard child of the Dandy Warhols and the Manics, yet somehow still manage to create the worst music I've ever heard.

― Ally, Tuesday, 29 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yet more Canucks - Chixdiggit, whose name is so cringeworthy I wouldn't even look it up on Napster.

― tarden, Wednesday, 30 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

80s metal had some good ones. Laaz Rokkitt, Main EE Axe, Roxx Regime (who went on to be Stryper). I doubt I spelled any of these correctly. The funniest thing is there was a Cleveland Kid Wykid who had an ugly rivalry with the Toronto Kyd Wykked!

― tarden, Wednesday, 30 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

duane, I'd have to agree that the Enz had a terrible name - despite the fact that I count myself as a fan. But to be fair, it must be one of the first to make use of deliberate misspelling as novelty memory hook (other than the obvious like Led Zep). I think it's the merciless barrage of 'creative' spellings since, that makes it so cringe-worthy in the rear view. I think Neil sensed this (as he began his 'take-over') and hence, at the very height of their commercial success and international name recognition, the Enz gave way to the House. In turn CH has also been scrapped so Neil can now peddle his songs as a relatively unknown solo act. I respect the fact that he refuses to cash in on a 'brand' for the sake of success. I wish I could say the same for the marketers which insist on slapping "THE SONGWRITING FORCE BEHIND..." labels on every damn thing he does now. I really *should* have posted this on the CH thread - but people seemed to bent on dissin' my boy Neil (despite his fabulous hair n' pants!) that I didn't want to spoil the fun.

― Kim, Wednesday, 30 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Australian version of Popstars are called Scandal'Us - which is much worse than Hear'Say.

Also, Third Eye Blind is a bad bad name.

― Fidelma Maher, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Armageddon Dildos.

Band names that I like more than the band itself: Planes Mistaken For Stars (which I lifted for a poem) and Sweep the Leg, Jonny.

― bnw, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

OK Duane, here's a side-splittingly funny band name - THE DEAD C. Get it? 'C'? 'Sea'? Notes? Oh.

― tarden, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Kim-is-Grim claims Split Enz invented the band-name misspelling. Surely this can't be so? But I can't seem to get my Giant Unabridged Oxford Book of Totally Useless Facts open this morning, to check.

And yes, Led Zep certainly doesn't count (besides, they did this so as cleverly not to be mispronounced: as in Lead Zep and all the little follow-up Zeps).

Um, nor do the Beatles, tho I can't think why not.

― mark s, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Human Beinz - nobody but them!

― tarden, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

dates, Tarden, dates!!! Facts! A fellow needs facts!!

[incidentally, d'you actually work near Islington Sainsbury's car-park? Cuz so do I... ]

― mark s, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hey, ho, well. Erm. mark, I did say "one of" not THE first, as in the clever-clever novelty simply hadn't gotten old and molden yet. yeh- yeah.

― Kim, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tarden you are wrong!! Well, you could be wrong: I can't finetune my pedantometer precisely enough. The Cyrcle ("Red Rubber Ball") and the Cryan Shames ("Sugar'n'Spice" were both operational in 1966: the Human Beinz only really surface in 1967.

Kim: I wasn't trying to score a point (erm, no, not at all) — I was just certain that misspelling went back some way before the Enz era, even. So "one of" would be misleading.

This all only counts if we also discount the Surfaris, of course.

― mark s, Saturday, 2 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

what about the Sun Ra Arkestra? if you say it with a american accent it's just a mis-spelling rather than a neologism(?right?)(i'm trying it out now, saying "arkestra" & "orchestra" over & over w/ various "american" accents. [but real quietly 'cause my girlfriend's asleep]...uh yeah, OK, not *that* convincing....)

― duane z., Saturday, 2 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Lavemang-smugglarna Kristet utseende the knark

they might not seem so bad for the non swedes but just trust me on this one mkay?

― Anders Loco, Saturday, 2 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have a tape of Low playing a radio show in Minnesota in '96; after their set is done, the DJ mentions a few upcoming shows by other bands. One of those shows was a double-bill of "Voodoo Love Mint" and "Puddle Wonderful". I always found those to be quintessential bad indie-band names; much like the entire oeuvre of They Might Be Giants, it harkens back to all the unfunny people I knew in high school and college who, among other things, believed that Pythonesque absurdity could be had merely by putting together incongruous adjectives and nouns.

Trying to name a band is hard as hell; to pick something out that conveys a bit of what you do -- but without sounding pretentious or jokey or nondescript -- is amazingly difficult. The more serious your band is, the harder it gets.

― Phil, Sunday, 3 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh, and yes, I know that "puddle wonderful" is a cummings phrase. It doesn't matter, though; such an allusion, clever as it may be, does not prevent the name from initially annoying me. And, let's face it -- we do, human as we are, overlook great bands, books, movies and so on, because they're badly named. How many people have skipped Chet Raymo's The Dork of Cork because, at a glance, they thought it was a jokey book about a very absorbent phallus, rather than a lovely lyrical tale about an Irish dwarf?

― Phil, Sunday, 3 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yogi Phlegm (jazz-rock fusion band from the early 70s).

― scott, Monday, 4 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Planes Mistaken For Stars (which I lifted for a poem)

Paul Westerberg stole that one too ;)

― Larms, Wednesday, 6 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nembrionic Hammerdeath

Gotta love them metal bands.

― Nathan, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one month passes...

Stryper is horrible and R.E.M with all the "it doesn't mean rapid eye movement" business is horrible as well.

― Lindsey B, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Apparently the most popular band at my friend Matt's Long Island high school was named...

"Tijuana Caravan"

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

RAPEMAN....but I like the record.

― David, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It is in tribute to Japanese comic, no?

Built To Spill is a winner (or is that loser?). Moldy Peaches.

NERD (like the record though).

Daft Punk.

Any band with number.

dB's (or is that Deebees? DBs? db-s?).

THE BEATLES.

Modest Mouse.

Guided by Voices (christian rock in beercan disguise).

― nathalie, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I forgot to mention: DAAU (aka Die Anarchistische Abent Unterhaltung)

― nathalie, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

fluff, fluff, fluff and the cuddleyness

dalek beach party

― flowersdie, Wednesday, 15 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Somebody mentioned Rapeman. Would that apply to the Amboy Dukes as well?

― dave q, Wednesday, 15 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

"Steamboat Willie & The Electric Techno Buttplugin' MuthaFuckas'. ........and that's the truth!!!

― Jedeye Jonzee, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Mott the Hoople. Seriously stupid name for anything, let alone a band.

― thomas boyd, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Llama Farmers crap name crap band.

In defence of Prefab Sprout old Paddy Sprout sez he's was trying to sound as unlike the rest of the postpunk acts as possible so picked a name which sounded like a late 60's/early 70's prog band.

― Billy Dods, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

And, I believe, McAloon originally thought of the name in 1973 anyway.

― Robin Carmody, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

two months pass...

Super Furry Animals anybody?

― Dave S, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

How about the Rainbow Butt Monkeys?

― Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Groove Armada. I mean, really. Come on.

Aleka's Attic and Alisha's Attic.

― Arthur, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Reigndance. Ugh.

― Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

so you haven't changed your mind on that one, nicole?

killing joke is still the stupidest

― mark s, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I forgot I posted it before. But I just like typing it anyway.

Reigndance, Reigndance, Reigndance!

― Reigndance, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh Killing Joke clearly is not the stupidest name. How can it possibly be the stupidest when there's another band out there that decided to call themslves Helloween?

Reigndance is pretty terrible tho. And Dalek Beach Party.... whuhh...

― Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I think 'Lubricated Goat' wins it.

Although 'Scraping Foetus off the Wheel' was always a favorite.

― Dave225, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Umm, I love them completely, but how can they write such wonderful lyrics & still have decided to call themselves the Pet Shop Boys?
Don't most jam bands have atrocious names?
Cutesy riot grrl band names get on my nerves, for the most part. Emily's Sassy Lime.
Superchunk is a terrible name.
the Murder City Devils. sounds like hockey night to me.
Tortoise being named what they are, I ought to have known what I was getting into.

― daria gray, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Two words: Vaginal Croutons

― cybele, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Blendband
The Church (love the band, hate the name)

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

In the internet age the worst possible name is definitely "The The". Impossible to find them on the web with Google (which ignores the article "the" in the query) or to find them on Amazon (same reason). Matt Johnson should seriously think of a new name. "TheThe" would be ok with me.

― alex in mainhattan, Tuesday, 27 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

As a New Yorker of semitic extraction, I could never quite get my head around the idea that there was a rapper called "The Lox.

― Marcel Post, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Skipping 624 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

...I had avoided "Amp Fiddler" until a couple weeks ago due to the truly dire choice of name, but turns out he's great!

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Thursday, 18 January 2024 14:39 (three months ago) link

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