vh1's r0ck 0f l0ve

yeah, she has a disability

I collect swords.

that part made us roffle: "where does she find the time to do all this? she collects swords, she got blood transfusions when she was a baby..."

thank god rodeo is gone so i dont have to turn away from the screen in embarrassment anymore.

OH GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BUH-LEEVEE EEYEN, YAY-EE-YAY-UH

that boring chick with the pink/blonde hair and her friend should have won

I am rooting for Sam.

Sam.

(that's her name, rite? lol)

sam with all the 'but other girls are here' whining and weirdly flat hair?

i actually like the pink haired chick since the mudbowl ep.

and hurdles in a crotchless lace bodysuit? well.

'weirdly flat hair'

i've thought since the beginning that pink-hair chick (r. rockett?) was a sleeper candidate, but she's pretty boring so far

I am pulling for Jes (the pink-haired chick) because she has my name AND my old hair.

brandi has my vote.

so does bret have a weave/hair plugs or something? he's usually got his head covered, or at the very least has a big bandana headband, and his hair looks like fabric. i know that might be due to a lifetime of product abuse, but i'm suspicious.

Yeah, Brandi all the way.

I hope he cuts Mia and Heather next. Leave Lacey on as long as possible.

arrrgh, heather. truly repulsive. she's leathery, mannish, looks much older than she claims to be, and in a house full of fashion horrors consistently manages to stand out as the worst dressed.

brandi seems all right

bret may well have hair plugs, but he's been rocking the bandana look since about 1990 (when it seemed he was taking after axl?)

x-p her elimination hair is a nightmare. like 1986 stripper hair. but bad.

Jes is adorable, I hope for her sake that she doesn't win.

Sam is fucking hot, I promise I will not cheat around on her if she will be my bride.

magdelena should be starring in some nu-new wave video. not competing for the likes of bret michaels.

Brandi M. "can fit her fist in her mouth."

Must have been helpful in her former career.

polyphonic otm

oh, god. heather's special elimination hairdos give me nightmares! maybe bret keeps her around because she makes his fried locks look good.

Bret's hair is a wig. He's balding. I know this for a fact.

After Magdelena went to the shooting range and was like La Femme Nikita I gained a new respect for her, but she's not trashy enough for BMichaels.

Bret's hair is a wig. He's balding. I know this for a fact.

He is never not wearing a bandana/hat, it's pathetic.

that's why he wears it! keep the wig on.

I don't really get why Magdalena is on the show at all.

This show is much less interesting without Rodeo around.

you mean much less cringey

my bf's friend saw bret michaels at a premiere party and drunkenly went up to him and told him how much she loved poison as a teen. instead of thanking her, he leaned over and tried to french her.

you mean much less cringey

She is like the modern version of Gray Gardens, I just love her.

my wife met Bret Michaels once - cleaned his hotel room. He was late checking out and left behind a bag of weed (which she took and smoked). This was during the summer of '92, she was working as a cleaning lady in San Diego. She said he answered the door in speedos, a t-shirt, and a bandana and had some bimbo with him.

I wonder if he sleeps in the bandanna.

MEDIOCRACY

lauren i am impressed by your commitment

it's just that i'm very opposed to mediocracy. like bret is.

He totally just kept Lacey for the ratings, you could totally tell.

Hey, there is an article in today's NYT about this show. It's pretty funny. I'd provide the link, but I think it's password-protected or whatever. Sorry. Use bugmenot.com or whatever if it still exists. Or, just register; I think it's pretty worthwhile if you don't live in NYC/are too poor to buy the paper or whatever. I won't insult your intelligences further; it's easy enough to find in the style section.

God Bless.

heh.

oh my god, I am starting to creep even myself out. Note to self: No more "heh." stuck at the end of a post.

Um, God Bless.

heh.

Sample passage:

VH1’s “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” is carnival sludge: a nauseating paste of fried dough, cigarette ash, salt and grain alcohol. The rococo pageantry and high spirits of “Flavor of Love,” the channel’s seminal reality dating competition, starring the hype man Flavor Flav, have gone missing from this, the rock version.

This series has trudged along like a heartbroken drunk since July 15, featuring the former Poison frontman Bret Michaels as the bachelor. New episodes appear on Sundays. Reruns appear always.

The well-meaning has-been Bret is surrounded with women who are too young, too frantic or too high to know that being easy isn’t funny in itself. These women drink large quantities of booze, caress Bret in groups of three and flaunt their skills at phone sex on national television. Many of them seem dangerously unwell, discolored, surgically altered, physically unbalanced and worryingly mood-disordered...

Uh, slate that. The article's not so much funny as it is disturbing. Sorry, I non-posted the link after only reading the first three paragraphs.

Okay, it's actually funny and disturbing. Just. like. life. I surpose.

his Reagan-era persona

Bret Michaels=Ferris Bueller=Alex P. Keaton?

No matter how you slice it, kill me now. SRSLY. OK. Go.d

Please. Bring Death swiftly. I am not mature enough to deal with the other human beings' craziness. My own is sufficient, thanks.

Heather is going to win this right? I think the drunken parents sealed the deal.

What is Jes doing there again?

if he does pick Jes,there is no way she stays with him.

lacey's dad: "is there any hair under there?"

new series starts on sunday!