Ultimate Warrior has an opinion

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It's hilarious that he's calling people out based on what they said IN THE PROMO and refuses to watch the DVD to see what they *really* said about him. That said, those roasts of HHH and Jim Ross are damned funny.

This might be Warrior's best rant ever.

MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:08 (sixteen years ago) link

[4,389 words, or 8 pages when pasted into Word]

kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:36 (sixteen years ago) link

I was half-kidding about the OTM, but this is mostly dead-on:

A few years ago you publicly boasted about how you loved confrontation and competition. You do -- but only with those who are intimidated by you to begin with or you already know you can beat. The facade of the company you’ve built says success, but reality is that, today, it’s like all other big, stuffy, overcrowded corporate warehouses -- sluggish, boring and complacent. You piggybacked on the degenerative cultural turn, you didn’t create it. And you rode that jackass hard, but like all that comes and goes in cycles, the provocative and risqué you so depended on has reached its spent end. Literally, there are no more tiny, little adolescent boners to exploit. All the loads have been blown. Enough "soap opera" and "porn" and "gangsta hip-hop and rap" everyone says -- people just want to take a bath, feel decent and have their wrestling be fun again. Yes, cutting edge -- but fun. High spirited and positive. Why does every single storyline in entertainment today have to be about what is the worst in people, like you're taking a 3 am walk in the foulest, most criminal alley on this planet while the sewer system is backed up flooding the streets and human-size rats are pissing and spitting upon you from both sides? You once told great stories, Vince. What happened to you? WWE's creative direction today simply tells people that it is a company filled with perverts and exhibitionists who are derangingly starved for genuine human interaction. Social misfits stimulated and inspired only by ideas they can see through peepholes. The only thing really left to do to push your over-, seedy creative envelope more open, since you obviously intend to keep beating limp meat, would be for you to actually televise the fucking you’ve been doing to so many over just as many years. Just as you worked so hard to do, you are now surrounded by ass-licking sycophants and mostly slavish, non-thinking, sunken chest talent, but the consequence is that you are burnt out, slow and stuck, have no new ideas and would have a heart attack if true passion, real manliness and legitimate challenge walked into one of the phylogenic-laden arenas you use to entertain your equally passionless, mindless and sycophantic audiences.

alex in montreal (alex in montreal), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:08 (sixteen years ago) link

The problem is, whatever validity those statements have, they're coming from The Warrior. Remember oWn? That's what happens when he books his own angles.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:19 (sixteen years ago) link

The fact that he is the Warrior doesn't neccesarily negate his opinions on all things. I can never make it through the entirety of his rants without skimming and scanning so I missed that portion excerpted above on the first go around. It seems a fairly accurate assemsment to me on the state of McMahon's creative direction at this point. Though no one wants Mr. Hellwig authoring angles.

Crazy people can be OTM on occasion. Sort of like if you wade through Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" some of the psychological assesments of the liberal characters are spot on but completely following the full limits of her thinking leads you to the current mental state of the man who wants to be known as The Warrior.

theodore (herbert hebert), Thursday, 29 September 2005 21:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, he seems like he'd be quite a smart guy if he wasn't completely fucking batshit insane. It'd be nice if there was a bizarro non-right wing good wrestler version of him.

F (Ferg), Thursday, 29 September 2005 23:06 (sixteen years ago) link

(hehe, I kind of thought that after I posted it)

They come back and Matt Striker does his Ultimate Warrior impression. It's pretty bad, as he reads the following statement, which is also posted on WWE.com (with a few bits of "poetic license" taken, going as far to pause mid-promo and say "I need more steroids, my arms are getting too small!")...

"Warrior" says he won't give Todd back his DVD unless he gives him $47, no $57. He says he stays in shape through "steroids... lots and lots of steroids." He talks about the One Warrior Nation and cries about flushing his career down the toilet. He admits to being from Queens, NY, NOT "Parts Unknown." "Queens is VERY, VERY KNOWN."

They are in SO MUCH TROUBLE.

F (Ferg), Friday, 30 September 2005 03:16 (sixteen years ago) link

Hah! Vince McMahon is totally at his best when he's being really petty.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Plus: Matt Striker push! Man, the Sandman parody he does is the rofflez.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:34 (sixteen years ago) link

four months pass...
i believe u more than anyone else and i also know that the things shown in this dvd are not true as u cannot do this as u r true warrior , i know that hhh,vince and others r jealous of u and bret heart.

warrior's fan, Thursday, 16 February 2006 02:17 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...
The "Self Destruction" dvd is classic, if not solely for the section about his promo style. Jericho calls his interviews "quizzical" and Christian does a killer Warrior impression.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P39b7v1wzfg

marmotwolof, Monday, 30 April 2007 06:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Shit, we had a Warrior googler? This could've made "Oink Invites" look like a bag of puke

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 30 April 2007 09:16 (fourteen years ago) link

googling doesn't make the world work

marmotwolof, Monday, 30 April 2007 11:20 (fourteen years ago) link

I watched that Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior vid a few nights ago. Quite possibly (as someone who hasn't seen anything to do with wrestling for 15 years) the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Lynskey, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:30 (fourteen years ago) link

I WILL NOW TAKE QUESTIONS REGARDING MY CAREER AND MY VENGEANCE AGAINST WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT

QUESTIONS THAT SHOW INSUFFICIENT UNDERSTANDING OF THE POWER OF DESTRUCITY WILL BE DISREGARDED

GOOD LUCK

The Ultimate Warrior, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:49 (fourteen years ago) link

this isn't going to work

The Ultimate Warrior, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link

So Warrior, did you kill Kerry Von Erich for stealing your boot tassles gimmick?

MacDara, Monday, 30 April 2007 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link

I know it was you. He was so high on coke he couldn't even pick up the gun, let alone shoot himself with it.

MacDara, Monday, 30 April 2007 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link

And admit it, you killed Dino Bravo too, didn't you?

MacDara, Monday, 30 April 2007 16:47 (fourteen years ago) link

I HAD NOTHING BUT PITY FOR THAT ONE LEGGED RUNT - THERE WAS A POINT IN APRIL 1997 WHERE I HELD A PILLOW OVER FRITZ VON ERICH?S FACE BUT I DECIDED TO BE THE BETTER MAN

DINO BRAVO DIED BECAUSE THERE WAS INSUFFICIENT DESTRUCITY IN HIS SYSTEM TO RECOVER FROM REPEATED GUNSHOTN WOUNDS

The Ultimate Warrior, Monday, 30 April 2007 17:26 (fourteen years ago) link


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