Ask TOMBOT

the clash vs. carl craig

What kind of "professional development" should I do on the job's tab?

4. bottled booze of choice for home consumption?

Hillary, Edwards or Obama?

Please name some certifications in your field that you approve of

tombot what do i do with my life
i wanna make the big bucks

:(

oooh, good question. How should I sell out? I want to work 40-45 hours a week and not really care about my job when I'm not there. Low stress levels preferred.

the clash vs. carl craig

Even if an internet jukebox had it, I would probably not go and make everybody else listen to The Secret Tapes of Dr. Eich in a bar, despite totally loving that whole album. Also I have never picked up any girls by dancing with them to Carl Craig. So The Clash. Also, Lock The Taskbar.

tombot what do i do with my life
i wanna make the big bucks

You are probably more aware of your options than I am so I'm just going to tell you that you're probably being risk averse or avoiding a difficult decision. My best decisions, in hindsight, have all been made during times of high stress and tension in my life, because those are the times when you realize making a strong commitment is the only way to save you from yourself. No reward without risk.

What kind of "professional development" should I do on the job's tab?

Quit worrying about which program and just matriculate in one. You think I woke up one day and decided to be a cleared government analyst? Fuck no. Somebody hands you a ball, you run with it, son.

Hillary, Edwards or Obama?

Today, Obama. My main thing I love about this dude is what some writer said about him doing for ties what Kennedy did for hats, e.g. make it completely acceptable to never wear one.

Please name some certifications in your field that you approve of

Certs like CISSP are crap because they don't actually make you qualified to do anything but talk about the CISSP body of knowledge. The only certs in my "field" that make sense as a job requirement are the ones dealing specifically with vendor tech monkey work like DBA, MCSE, CCNA, etc. Like having a license to operate a car or plane or a gun.

4. bottled booze of choice for home consumption?

Please be more specific. Most often lately it's whatever looks interesting out of the corner store beer cooler since they're always carrying some weird stuff from all over the world. OB from Korea is actually pretty good, comes in heavy brown 330ml bottles, and Saku from Estonia in the .5L.

How should I sell out?

Start by asking for more money at your current job.

do you like Shōchū?

or for Soju for that matter.

I'm not matriculating in a program; I can just take some classes for free.

Not as much as Soju. There's a joint about three blocks from my house that has excellent dweiji bulgogi and sojutinis that they mix with real korean fruit beverages incl. aloe and those little yogurt drink shots. If I was the kind of guy who got off work at reasonable hours I would be at their happy hour at least once a week chowing down on discount dumplings.

ha @ gr80

JW if you can take some classes for free I recommend anything that interests you that is outside the realm of computers and requires you to write and present cohesive arguments

those would be actual real job skills that you don't have to re-learn every five years

I am taking this thread too seriously!!

have you ever seen any really awesome secret things in your work. please rate the awesomeness on a scale of 1-10. also please do the same w/disturbing. thx

I'm actually an ok technical writer.

I just don't argue with shutins.

Anyway, it has to be approved by the bossman. Maybe some kind of BUSINESS/PEOPLE SKILLS class might pass muster?

take some business classes about project management and engineering econ!

learn you some IRR

have you ever seen any really awesome secret things in your work. please rate the awesomeness on a scale of 1-10. also please do the same w/disturbing. thx

I have seen some stuff that was really awesome. I would say an 8.
The stuff I find most disturbing in my work is not really a secret and mostly has to do with criminal cases, corruption and/or widespread waste of tax $$$. I would say probably a 6 at the highest though since I've heard much more terrifying shit from real private sector folks especially at the big auditing and consultancy businesses.

OB from Korea is actually pretty good

yes!

csi vs law and order?

CI vs. SVU vs OG

what human character trait do you most despise?

I'll break it down.

CSI (og) vs L&O (og): CSI, easy. Original L&O not nearly nerdy enough and I have developed strong antipathy for Sam Waterston over the years. I also have a crush on at least half the cast of CSI including the black dude.

Miami vs SVU : if we take the spinoffs in chronological order this is the next logical matchup but to me it's simply no contest. Sorry SVU, you're moving down a weight class.

NY vs SVU : Gary Sinise is clearly phoning it in here. OTOH, so is Ice-T. The belt goes to Hargitay over Kararnakiesideezits even though I will never be able to get over Meloni as the chef of Camp Firewood (teacher of the New Way, fondler of sweaters and owner of dick cream).

Miami vs CI : This is a tough one. I liked Cochrane a lot but his character got killed. I thought Noth was boring until he started teaming up with Alicia Witt (smash). Boti Bliss (smash) doesn't show up enough on Miami. D'Onofrio's schtick took some getting used to but hasn't gotten old like Caruso's has. If Khandi Alexander wasn't on Miami, this wouldn't even be a real question, actually.

So in the end it looks like L&O 2-1 over CSI. Really that should be more of a draw, though, since I'll often watch something else over either svu or ny, making it 1-1.

what human character trait do you most despise?

The herd instinct.

what cat character trait do you most despise?

Their thorough disregard for the tidiness of anything but their own hair.

lol, so true

who will win, usa or china?

best games for ps2?

who will win, usa or china?

Mars will be ours.

what brand of battery do you use? or are you rechargeable

tombot what is your favorite:

song
album
movie
actor
sandwich
kind of sock
continent
animal
planet

you know who i hate on csi is that hipster creep who is always partnered up with emily procter.

is he the new detective? that guy has made the show unwatchable.

tombro, not a funny or particularly inspired question, but i might pick up a wii soon. what are your five must have games?

Which is better?

New York - LA
Edirol - Presonus
VA - MD
Pro Tools - Logic
Nocturbulous Behaviour - Journey to the Martian Polar Cap
Alice - Maude

Which is greater threat?

Water - Oil

wow seriously I have some questions of my own now I think

1. wtf yall think I am the guy to ask these questions of, I just ban ppl
and make the angry at cunts
2. who is laxalt

best games for ps2?

Dragon Quest VIII
Rogue Galaxy
probably FF XII
I'm also enjoying Front Mission 4 at the moment
the Katamari games were also a lot of fun as I recall but you can kind of beat both of them in like three days

what brand of battery do you use? or are you rechargeable

I'm a copper topper. I used to go for el cheapo stuff until I woke up one day and like 6 crucial input devices in my house all used Bluetooth

what is your favorite:

song

oh man I have no idea

album

seriously no idea at all

movie

can't do it

actor

tie between jimmy stewart and owen wilson

sandwich

free

kind of sock

I have a ton of timberland crew socks in various colors that I picked up at OMG in manhattan like three years ago and I wear those pretty much every day. For weekend laziness I also have some of those nobbly ones with the tread pads on the bottom, I think possibly from ll bean or something. They don't make the timberland socks anymore so I'm going to have to find something else when these start wearing out.

continent

I like Europe. My favorite place in Europe is probably the Frankfurt Airport, though.

animal

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1069/1332573471_10ab231160_m.jpg

planet

Earth, I haven't been able to visit any other ones, also I heard you can't smoke anywhere else

I'll bite

Which is better?

New York - LA NY by miles duh
Edirol - Presonus don't use either
VA - MD virginia still lets you smoke in bars
Pro Tools - Logic don't use either
Nocturbulous Behaviour - Journey to the Martian Polar Cap C) Jeff Mills Live In Tokyo
Alice - Maude Maude is a much more interesting snapshot of America in its respective time frame and kind of amazing to think that it was ever a popular television show.

Which is greater threat?

Water - Oil Oil can't give you dysentery.

http://www.g4tv.com/pile_player.aspx?video_key=19059

^ will this be good

TOMBOT otm re Maude -except for the great Vic Tayback, Alice was pretty much unwatchable.

^ will this be good

looks like they hired two separate developers, one to make the ps360+pc versions and another to make the ds/wii/ps2 versions. in neither case does the dev company have a track record of note. bargain bin.

is he the new detective?

yeah, speedle's replacement, played by jonathan togo. I don't mind him much but he's definitely no speedle (just ask eric delko lol)

tombro, not a funny or particularly inspired question, but i might pick up a wii soon. what are your five must have games?

Excite Truck
Twilight Princess
Sports
Pending
Pending

(metroid was eh. I'm just not an fps guy)

you know who i hate on csi is that hipster creep who is always partnered up with emily procter.

Can't stand the no-neck Henry Rollins preppy. Reminds me of an old boss I had.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/103477602/fabric-lanyard-key-lanyard-badge-lanyard

your question may have just cost my family an amount of money

DDoSing stuff : anonymous :: nuclear missiles : north korea

i see what you did there

that's not even a question

https://partners.vice.com/dewars/whiskyemporium/news/meet-tombot-the-bionic-barkeep/

Perfection is a moving target.

today i spotted a woman in her early 20s outside the university of glasgow wearing a white tshirt with the word 'TOMBOT' emblazoned across the chest

startled to see an eruption of ilx into real-life, i did a double-take and she caught me looking wide-eyed at her chest

it was v embarrassing

so i ask: tombot, was this an elaborate psyop to make me appear to be a dirty old man irl?

(it def read 'TOMBOT' and not 'TOMBOY' btw)

actually wait a minute, maybe it did read 'TOMBOY' after all

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmediaus.topshop.com%2Fwcsstore%2FTopShopUS%2Fimages%2Fcatalog%2FTS04M54MCRM_Zoom_F_1.jpg&f=1

so let me amend my question: tombot, did you adopt this username as part of a longterm psyop involving international clothing chain topshop in order to troll me into staring at a woman's chest?

The overwhelming urge to hungrily ogle a woman's chest is perfectly natural for a boy your age. There's no need to blame Tombot or yourself.

au contraire, i think there's every need to blame tombot for making me look like a sex pest out there on the bustling streets of scotland's largest city

MY city dammit

sure it wasnt MT city?

tombot's continued silence on this issue speaks volumes imo

No I did not make that shirt

But it is a good story

feels like exactly the kind of thing the man behind that shirt would say tbh

Also, best revive ever

And congratulations to darraghmac for the heyoooo

please, too kind, this is your night, too kind, etc

tombot do you have any lanyard updates

i'm joining the lanyard crowd :(

The new look in 2018 is BATIK

I bought almost a dozen of them at the Petronas Towers gift shop last month. Many coworkers are looking very fashionable as a result.

I'm thinking braided leather, kinda boloish

I’m thinking you’re on a path to destruction

tombot what would the DoD do if the president ordered it to cease planning for/wasting money on climate change? just ignore it?

Like squeezing jello. I’m challenged to think of the right wording of the order that would have to come down to make the entire defense apparatus pivot towards spending more money on fuel instead of spending less

especially since Mattis has a DEPSECDEF who has made a priority of running an actual audit of DoD expenditures

Has anything really changed since this? https://taskandpurpose.com/mattis-pentagon-ignoring-trumps-mandate-treat-climate-change-hoax/

ah, ty

Tombot is this bad or expected or both https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/10/us/politics/hackers-pentagon-weapons-systems.html

both and also the GAO is fond of completely ignoring defense-in-depth practices whenever they do an infused audit

PS the GAO's in-house daycare is called "tiny findings" which I love

infosec audit, that is - fuck you, autocorrect

“tiny findings”

i love that

say i've found a procurement on https://www.fpds.gov/ that i'd like to know more details about. i have an "Award ID" and "Referenced IDV ID". is there some way i can read the original call for proposals, or winning bid? or just anything more than a bunch of mailing addresses and vendor identifies?

Have you tried ducking around on fedbizopps.gov?

They archive a lot of stuff there IIRC

Tombot, I have been reading this book and was wondering if you have as well, or have any thoughts on the events documented


https://www.amazon.com/Sandworm-Cyberwar-Kremlins-Dangerous-Hackers/dp/0385544405

I have the book but haven’t cracked it. The part where Rob Lee from Dragos finagled a sample of the malware from ESET so he could get the scoop on them has already generated some controversy in “the community”

tombot will you ever do some new cartoons of ilx posts

I no longer have a boring job where I can get away with using Visio to put word bubble captions on top of carefully curated internet images for most of the day. That presents a significant barrier to my creative process.

alas! i liked those

This revive has caused my 2020s to begin on a very sad and happy note. I can’t believe this thread has almost a thousand answers. And I hate, hate, hate nostalgia.

what up son happy new year you old fart

I apologize for asking that and then promptly _forgetting to bookmark the thread_ leading me to believe my question was not addressed!

I feel like the internal politics of the analysis/CVE community was mostly left out of the text, probably for the better.

what up son happy new year you old fart