bread shaming

The baker's trade terrified the young man. He learn'd as much of it as would keep him going, -- but when he began to see into it, the smells, the unaccountable swelling of the dough, the oven door like a door before a Sacrament, -- the daily repetitions of smell and ferment and some hidden Drama, as in the Mass, -- was he fleeing to the repetitions of the Sky, believing them safer, not as saturated in life and death? If Christ's Body could enter Bread, then what else might? -- might it not be as easily haunted by ghosts less welcome? Alone in the early empty mornings even for a few seconds with the mute white rows, he was overwhelmed by the ghostliness of Bread.

That's why they call it Bread Alone, cuz you'll be eating it alone! Hahahahahaha!

totally a thing

it is kinda a thing here -- the perceived gluten intolerance, dunno if people actively "shame" each other though -- but the central SF Bay Area is "special snowflake" central

See also: breadmaking bores. A different but still pertinent kind of breadshaming going on with those guys.

i love how the second commenter out of the gate is ready with a "b-b-but bread is bad for you and makes you fat."

p.s. i haven't eaten bread in a week and that bagel/cream cheese up top looks GORGEOUS

keep me posted this could be my issue

making toast right now

it gets better

bread shaman

these are interesting & maddening false-ternary poll options

definitely a thing
i've seen people "sneak" pieces of bread like they're eaten radishes from the witch's garden
i think it's less about gluten and more about carbs though

it was a really tough choice!

do i vote for the most "insightful" choice, the one with the typo, or the one i feel most strongly about

always vote with your heart
that means the one with the spelling error (for me)

there are really disturbing results when you type "funny bread" into google image search

eaten? eating.

god i hate today

voting to establish 'i love bread' as its own board to discuss this and other important bread related issues

i've never experienced this (and i fucking love bread) but i live in texas where people are busy judging me in other ways so my vote probably doesn't count

I had a friend from college who referring to bread as "space food" in that it took up space and was filling but not nutritionally dense. I have the suspicion that her family had some body issues when it came to diet but I think some people do paint bread and other carb-heavy food as caloricly dense but not nutritionally necessary.

i have been shamed for eating low-class bread : /

i have been shamed for being a bread snob

I live a block from a French-style bakery

i live less than a block from whole foods

xp well, you live in a french-style city

There's a combination boulangerie + patisserie + bistro within walking distance of my house (a mile). They sell the good stuff for $3.85 a loaf. I am very happy about this. I have no shame.

anyway this sort of food extremism makes me really annoyed and heightens my latent misanthropy

"I was tacitly bread shamed" seems every bit as special snowflake as gluten sensitivity.

i think my co-workers leave bread products out for everyone to nosh specifically to torture me (they are all rail thin and eat junk all day including lunch)

I'm kind of reminded of the recent gawker post about Lena Dunham feeding a 22 dollar salmon salad plate to her dog where one of the common comment themes was disgust at the thought of eating off a plate that might once have been licked by a dog (regardless of washing). It's just two sides of the same awfulness.

Bread shame is more of a domestic thing than a public thing, in my world. You know that thing where one domestic partner suggests having grilled cheese for dinner and the other feigns disagreement in a way that makes both partners feel bad for wanting to eat bread for dinner. Should we? "No, not if you don't want to. Do I? Kind of, but maybe we should be healthy."

Doesn't have to be grilled cheese. Could just be baguette with dinner.

the other day i bought sara lee made with whole grain white bread ™ because it was the cheapest thing on the shelf and thought WHITE WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK but figured hey whole grain

but it seems i have been played for a fool

p.s. i haven't eaten bread in a week and that bagel/cream cheese up top looks GORGEOUS

Is that a bagel? I don't think that's a bagel, it's too oddly shaped.

If anyone told me they didn't eat bread I would just look at them. And judge.

I meant to type this into ilx like two months ago when it was relevant but 'im allergic to glutten' is the new 'I don't watch tv'

the great thing about gluten free people is how easily they are thwarted. you can buy something called "vital wheat gluten" which is essentially pure gluten. when i cook for the gluten free crowd, i like to throw a tablespoon of this stuff in to whatever i'm making, even if it's something that wouldnt ordinarily have flour in it. for example, thai lentil curry with lemongrass AND GLUTEN. so far no complaints, which proves this whole thing is horse shit.

disclaimer: i would never fuck with anyone who had actual allergies, sensitivities, or cultural/religious dietary concerns. only gluten.

so wait, the gluten thing is bogus?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05mw3CYG4Qg

http://i.imgur.com/6PcCmri.jpg

Scylla and Charybdis

That sounds like an asshole thing to do, fields of salmon, if you were cooking for someone who had been medically diagnosed with celiac's disease

OTOH probably 99% of the gluten-free crowd are self-diagnosers

the great thing about gluten free people is how easily they are thwarted. you can buy something called "vital wheat gluten" which is essentially pure gluten.

-Bob Marley

<i>so wait, the gluten thing is bogus?</i>

A small percentage of people have medically demonstratable difficulties tolerating gluten. A larger group of people <b>believe</b> they feel better when they don't eat gluten.

people believe a lotta things

the great thing about gluten free people is how easily they are thwarted. you can buy something called "vital wheat gluten" which is essentially pure gluten. when i cook for the gluten free crowd, i like to throw a tablespoon of this stuff in to whatever i'm making, even if it's something that wouldnt ordinarily have flour in it. for example, thai lentil curry with lemongrass AND GLUTEN. so far no complaints, which proves this whole thing is horse shit.

this is fucked up fields of salmon

A group of people in my office decided to try gluten-free for 30 days together. I asked them about the results and most of them said they felt no different. One of them, however, told me "I didn't really notice a difference, but I'm definitely going to keep doing it."

i would probably feel a lot better if i cut out beer and bagels and pizza 100%. many dietary restrictions are just a way for people to remember not to eat bullshit/high glycemic poison. imo.

beating people with batards

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdJFE1sp4Fw

Croutons are sandpaper for your upper palate

― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Friday, May 23, 2014 9:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

As is a toasted sandwich

I know of no other carb that will leave your palate in tattered gum strings like bread will

Masochists, all of you

waah.

animalquestions.org/reptiles/turtles/can-turtles-eat-bread/

haha I keep doing that

thought you meant "asking if turtles eat bread" for a minute there

that would be a weird tic

Turtles eating bread? What a load of chelonia

don't mock

that was terrapin (terrible) you guys should be in terrapin (therapy)

Therapy would be helpful in drawing me out of my shell

snap out of it man

Don't knock it (my shell) until you've tried it

if ILX has tortoise anything, it's that turtle turtle turtle turtle leatherback something SB

Wow that was terrible. I'm going home (something turtles are known to do in order to lay eggs)

this one galapagos to 11 (miles per hour beacause turtles are fairly slow)

^ this turtle i mean. the joke is it's a box turtle, which is a type of them.

I could maybe give up bread except in the form of pretzels

twisted logic there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gifcJIz4Tas

thinking of having some toast but rly concerned I might get shamed

oh my dayo what strange alchemy man was not permitted this knowledge

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

i can't wait

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

today i overheard a girl saying, "i love bread so much i could eat an entire bakery in, like, 25 minutes."

Girl otm

I am going to start a bread poll shortly. Would anyone like to make any relevant requests

We are going to poll ALL OF THE BREADS!

It will be a fiesta of slabbed grain!

How are you going to handle sourdough

Well you have to watch not to overwork it

Will there be current puns?

Get nicely toasted.

Such a rye sense of humor.

No knead for that.

D'ough

Loafers, the lot of you.

Don't be crumby.

you’re trying to get a rise out of me

I like the idea of a bread poll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8U23AS1irY

are you still in knead of recommendations?