Owen: How old do you think I am?Sean (his guitar teacher): Um... 6?Owen: I'm seven and a half! NEVER under-guess a little kid's age!
― schwantz, Thursday, 15 May 2014 04:13 (nine years ago) link
in my experience as someone that used to teach little kids: that is some real f---king talk
― gbx, Thursday, 15 May 2014 04:26 (nine years ago) link
hearing a 5yo talk about the cognitive faculties of a 4yo is like listening to an UWS pensioner talk about poor people in like brooklyn or w/e, pure unchecked disdain, the view down their lil noses is long and the ppl at the end very pathetic indeed
imagine the indignity of being mistaken for someone six months younger than yourself, esp after you have demonstrated mastery of zippers, it's unbearable
― gbx, Thursday, 15 May 2014 04:31 (nine years ago) link
lolotm
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 15 May 2014 04:35 (nine years ago) link
lol
― how's life, Thursday, 15 May 2014 10:11 (nine years ago) link
GBX OTM
― get up in this twerk cypher (sunny successor), Thursday, 15 May 2014 19:06 (nine years ago) link
Beeps has recently become aware that her brother's "crazy" behavior is often directly linked to him being 4. PP and I trade off nights putting them to bed. One night I'll put Beeps to bed, the next Henry etcUsually an argument ensues shortly before bedtime as to who has got me that night (the only reason I can come up with for this is PP doesn't give in to their sleep stalling tactics like I do and they get the added bonus of me sometimes falling asleep so I'm in their bed all night)Two nights ago, while Henry was upstairs in the bath, Beeps begins the usual proceedings:B: 'Am I with you or Daddy tonight?'Me: (expecting arguing and pleading to follow) 'It's my turn with Henry tonight' B: 'Ah. Well, good luck with that!'
― get up in this twerk cypher (sunny successor), Thursday, 15 May 2014 19:22 (nine years ago) link
:D
― schwantz, Thursday, 15 May 2014 21:40 (nine years ago) link
August: "You need help."
She's all about telling me when she needs help these days. Love it because I rarely say that and probably should but taught her to say it last year instead of grunting but she just started saying it a month ago. As she saw me struggle with moving the car seat from one car to another and carry my purse and diaper bag she put herself in front of me and told me I needed help. Best sentence I've ever heard in my life, hands down, ever!
― *tera, Friday, 16 May 2014 04:05 (nine years ago) link
<3 that is very thoughtful for such a young child.
― estela, Friday, 16 May 2014 05:15 (nine years ago) link
That's darling!! <3
― carl agatha, Friday, 16 May 2014 11:44 (nine years ago) link
Evie says lots of funny/cute stuff but my favorite thing is that she says "Did you notice" instead of "Did you know." So she'll say "Did you notice we got to go to the playground today? Did you notice it's Audrey's mom's birthday?"
― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 16 May 2014 15:43 (nine years ago) link
K (with cup of water): I'm drinking coffee!Me: Oh, that's nice. Are you going to work?K: Yeah.Me: Where do you work? K: On the computer.Me: Oh. How much money do you make?K: Four.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 22 May 2014 14:36 (nine years ago) link
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:15 (nine years ago) link
give that kid a riase
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:05 (nine years ago) link
raise even
I like to imagine that she meant $400,000 and that she likes to talk like a swaggering stockbroker. Next I'm going to teach her to say "You'd better throw a number with a 5 in front of it at me or this conversation's over."
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:08 (nine years ago) link
i assumed 4 million because i imagine multimillionaires refer to sums of millions without ever saying the word 'million'
― get up in this twerk cypher (sunny successor), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:39 (nine years ago) link
would have been best if she had written 4 on a napkin and slid it to you face down
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:49 (nine years ago) link
i love this thread
― macklin' rosie (crüt), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:50 (nine years ago) link
lol VG
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 22 May 2014 22:10 (nine years ago) link
Also missed a teachable moment to show her that coffee is for closers.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 22 May 2014 22:11 (nine years ago) link
I can't wait until I can teach Ella to say to my very right-wing father-in-law, 'You'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes!'
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Friday, 23 May 2014 01:00 (nine years ago) link
Oh wow the trolling potential of having Ivy's first words be "Obamamama"...
― carl agatha, Friday, 23 May 2014 01:11 (nine years ago) link
My son, when describing the kids in his kindergarden class said that some of them were brown and the others were beige
― silverfish, Friday, 23 May 2014 01:57 (nine years ago) link
Beatle used to say brown and peach
― get up in this twerk cypher (sunny successor), Friday, 23 May 2014 02:30 (nine years ago) link
Peach was always the colour of the crayon we'd use for colouring in White people's faces at school.
― Madchen, Friday, 23 May 2014 08:06 (nine years ago) link
Yeah, I remember getting an "introduction to race" mini-lecture when I told my mom that one of my preschool classmates was not black, she was yellow.
― how's life, Friday, 23 May 2014 09:12 (nine years ago) link
"Evie, you can't lock yourself in the bathroom, because if you had an accident or an emergency, we couldn't get in""EMERGEN-C IS A DRINK!" (slams door)
― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 23 May 2014 14:43 (nine years ago) link
― how's life, Friday, 23 May 2014 14:50 (nine years ago) link
hmph
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 23 May 2014 15:35 (nine years ago) link
Ha, oh Evs.
― carl agatha, Friday, 23 May 2014 16:00 (nine years ago) link
― gbx, Friday, 23 May 2014 17:53 (nine years ago) link
oh man.
I don't know if it reassures you that hearing about E's tantrums reassures me, but it does.
― pplains, Friday, 23 May 2014 18:27 (nine years ago) link
We've had some big tantrums lately where she just fixates on something and won't let it go no matter what we say. I'm starting to realize that she is insanely stubborn so it's best to not argue with her directly (because she'll never give up until she finally melts down) but to, if possible, take a break from the discussion and come back to it, or try and come at what I want her to do from a different direction.
― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 23 May 2014 19:19 (nine years ago) link
Yeah I have found that arguing with tantrums is like bellows to a fire. Better to maintain your position but not engage too hard. They have short memories.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Friday, 23 May 2014 19:20 (nine years ago) link
Like if she's like "NO! WANT COOKIE!" I'm like "well, we're not having cookies now." and then I just kind of let it go. I might repeat it every so often, calmly, but I don't yell back or argue.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Friday, 23 May 2014 19:21 (nine years ago) link
Pressing three yo question: "How does our dog wipe her vagina after she pees?"
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Saturday, 31 May 2014 18:24 (nine years ago) link
well? how does she
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 31 May 2014 22:55 (nine years ago) link
Air dryTongueDragging it on the carpet
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Saturday, 31 May 2014 23:39 (nine years ago) link
zen koans that haunt your dreams
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 1 June 2014 00:42 (nine years ago) link
Evie was telling me a whole string of "knock knock jokes" this morning. They ollow two patterns:
PATTERN IE: Knock knockMe: Who's there?E: (in a funny voice) I can't open the door, I'm in the shower! (or) Go away, I'm watching TV!
PATTERN IIE: Knock knockMe: Who's there?E: (looks around room) Cereal.Me: Cereal who?E: Cereal don't eat me up!(or)E: (looks around room) Nose.Me: Nose who?E: Nose you're so nosey!etc.
― Immediate Follower (NA), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 17:35 (nine years ago) link
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 17:53 (nine years ago) link
K (climbs into the stroller): "Going to the gym"Me: What are you going to do there?K: Yoga exercise.
― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 18:40 (nine years ago) link
lol awesome
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 18:46 (nine years ago) link
Hammer has always been weird with his speech. He started speaking late, he talks like Yogi Berra and he makes up his own words.
One of those made-up words sounds a lot like "dorky", but it's pronounced more like "dworkey". He tried to define it to me as something special, but not always special. Awhile back, we went to a park where there's this faux-wooden bridge made of concrete spanning across a relatively calm stream that flows into one of the small surburban lakes in the neighborhood. In the stream, four or five turtles swam around, one getting on top of the shell of the other one.
"This," he informed me, "this is duorky. See?"
I mean, this is a boy who takes a running joke and goes too far with it. (SEE: "Poo-poo", 2012 - present). However, this isn't like that.
Some afternoons when I pick him up from daycare, he'll go upstairs with me to Beeps' learning area where one of the teachers gave in long ago and now offers him a snack from the big kids' table. I reminded him the other day to use his magic words if the teacher let him have something, and he looked up at me and asked, "You mean like 'dworky'?"
This is usually when I rub my temples and wish that I had had kids in my 20s because I'm too old for this.
― pplains, Tuesday, 10 June 2014 19:16 (nine years ago) link
Is it times like these when you also wish you had a beer, beer monster?
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 20:10 (nine years ago) link
Friend of mine recently went through a break-up and went to stay with a friends. A couple days later that friend's brother came to take my friend to pick up his things at his former apt. The brother who was giving him the lift also brought along is 6 year old daughter. Before they left they were all hanging out and my friend said something along the lines of "My biggest fear is that my stuff is all gonna be in garbage bags thrown all over the lawn." Without sipping a beat the 6 year old looked up at all of them and said, "My biggest fear is vampires".
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 20:14 (nine years ago) link
haaaaaa brilliant
― ljubljana, Wednesday, 11 June 2014 01:38 (nine years ago) link
Frozen Soundtrack: "We're not sayin' you can change him, cause people don't really change."K: "He need to change"Me: "Change what?"K: "His diaper. He need to get dressed."
― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Friday, 13 June 2014 15:38 (nine years ago) link