Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

I love how you're just supposed to accept everything, based on their say-so. Most people do, especially the older or less experienced folks.

two people just got on the tube and tried to convince everyone to do the conga because it meant they would win £200 in their office competition. everyone was just looking a bit mute and then they started going "come on guys, let's do the conga" and I snapped a bit and told them to fuck off. then inevitably got accused of having no sense of fun, which may well be true for all the fuck I car. piss off and leave everyone alone!

― Fizzles, Thursday, May 1, 2014 12:49 PM

'what's my cut?'

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/5/28/1401284044412/Stephen-Collins-31-May-001.jpg

I'm alarmed by the way this aesthetic seems to be cross-pollinating with FASTER YOU FUCKERS style edicts to think positively and be active

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZ9G1JHwyg

those awful B&Q adverts probably qualify as well

i came here to post that cartoon 8)

https://www.google.co.uk/logos/doodles/2014/world-cup-2014-9-and-fathers-day-5439838778032128.3-hp.gif

Those FIFA ads on tv are some Innocent Smoothies-esque tweeness

I can't understand why no ad exec has had an advert where some charmless becardiganed nit has his ukulele smashed to pieces by the object of his affection.

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5073/14535593834_399a8f5810.jpg

HI PAUL!

THANKS FOR BEING A SUPER GREAT CUSTOMER AND USING OUR CLICK AND COLLECT SERVICE. YOU'VE GOT SOME SPECIAL NEW STUFF COMING YOUR WAY.

ROLL
OUT
THE
BARREL
WE'LL
HAVE A
BARREL
OF
FUN

(was the RUB A DUB that i posted it for)

I feel like this billboard in Old Street is not quite right

http://i.imgur.com/ukbUq9P.jpg

That is incredibly sinister.

Seems about right for Old Street IIRC.

http://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4060/4585643905_a883a7f9ff_z.jpg

that's been the bbc.co.uk error image for at least 6 years - i think it narrowly avoids the innocent smoothies aesthetic tbh

Yeah, I haven't seen it for a long while, then it kept coming up early this morning. The flames in the background are probably what saves it, along with the non-InSmAes language.

So I bought something at Sears, and they signed me up for some sort of account so quickly that I was too slow to object. Here's my welcome e-mail:

Dear Valued customer,

Remember your third grade teacher Mrs. Willicker? She said you'd never be worthy of $10 in points (10,000 points) to use on whatever you want, in store or online at Sears, Kmart or shopyourway.com.

Mrs. Willicker can go suck an egg, Valued customer. Because all you have to do is click here, and that coupon gets loaded to YOUR account, ready for YOU to spend on anything YOU want with your next purchase of $30 or more. Shop now.

(You'd rather print the coupon? Right on. Do that here.)

Because now you're a Shop Your WaySM member, which means every person who's ever doubted you is eating their heart out.

Who's laughing now, Valued customer? You are, that's who.

Let's not forget your jerky camp counselor Tad, who said your socks were so pungent they could ward off vampires.

Well ... Tad may be on to something. But you can buy new socks with your points at Sears or Kmart or shopyourway.com, if you want to.

OR WHATEVER. The point is, this is YOUR membership, and this is how it works:
BUY STUFF. Just about anything you want is at your fingers.
GET POINTS. You get 10 of them for every dollar you spend on qualifying purchases..
REDEEM POINTS. Every 1,000 points is a dollar's worth, and they let you buy more stuff (like socks, maybe). And so on.

There's all sorts of other perks too–like coupons that we'll tailor to your desires, and Rewards Partners where you can earn points for buying flowers and food and stuff, and Shop Your Way MAX, where you get FREE 2-day shipping.

Click those underliney links to learn more. And enjoy this–you've made it, bub.

Sincerely,
The Shop Your Way Team

There's also a picture of Mrs. Willicker with drawn-on devil horns and moustache, as well as an arrow pointing to her to tell her to "go suck an egg".

jesus

Every time you think you've found the apotheosis, shit like this comes along and blows it away

fucking hell
sounds like an Onion thing

To be fair, I always hated Mrs Willicker in third grade.

a very sweet Sears cashier convinced me to hand over my email once so i could get a 20% discount on some socks i was buying and it was one of the worst mistakes ive made in recent memory

Birds Eye UK ‏@BirdsEyeUK Jul 21
You voted Stephen Fry the UK's most loveable TwEater so look what we created using Birds Eye #Mashtags!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BtDrM3bCcAAOOe9.jpg

"Good day at work honey?" "Well…"

just got an email from a frozen yogurt company who have started a spinoff cassette label

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

different but related: mail order companies that include a packet of frigging haribo with your order. a new bottom bracket for my mountain bike, hey have some haribo with that! an emergency supply of contact lenses, probably need some gummi bears with that right? i am not fucking five anymore, and no i don't want your fucking rancid boiled pigs feet garbage

I hate it when companies do that. I recently bought some computer parts and when they arrived it turned out that the warehouse packer had remembered to put in the twee little bag of dolly mixtures or what the fuck ever, but had neglected to package the parts up so that they wouldn't get damaged in transit.

I don't know, maybe I should be a bit more tolerant, otherwise I'll end up like this...
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvaaong6LH1r3oi1to1_250.gif

http://www2.woolworthsonline.com.au/Content/ProductImages/big/350689.jpghttp://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140317170151/mlp/images/5/56/Darth_Vader_do_not_want.jpghttp://www2.woolworthsonline.com.au/Content/ProductImages/big/350689.jpg

gummi bears just look vile

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bd/Haribo_gb.jpg

there's also this:

http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/149143/do-your-favorite-gummy-bears-have-a-nazi-past

they look like tardigrades

delicious, fruit-flavoured tardigrades

argh, knew I shouldn't have GISd tardigrades

tardigrades vs nudibranchs

nah, slugs are gusting

Tardigrades are the cutest. I will eat all of your gummy tardigrades.

pls send me all yr unwanted sweets

No shit - I was 100% with this thread until the rants against FREE CANDY

man, I would be so happy if I got some free Haribo in the post

a company i have to order things from at work always puts a tiny box of Chiclets in each order, i like it

I was just looking for some components on an electronics website, clicked away to another page, and a pop up appeared reading "ORDER FROM US NOW TO BE SENT FREE HARIBO!!!". The candy isn't free, you're paying for it.

man, I would be so happy if I got some free Haribo in the post

― Number None, Thursday, August 7, 2014 5:07 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it wouldn't make you a bit uneasy?

I mean if it just arrived in the post unbidden like the videotapes in cache

no note, nothing

and it went on for months and you steadily got more and more unnerved, finally building to full-on terror

wouldn't that be a

haribo stalk nightmare

fuck off, I'm going to bed.