The Groom's Cake

I think there might have even been something in that book about having to fake the blood because the bride's hymen had broken when she was a girl.

oh god, that was my first thought too, but I thought it was a joke.

I think (or something similar) was a tradition in several places/cultures. I would've been fucked because I didn't bleed at all which afaik is pretty common. I was in gymnastics when I was little and then took horseback riding lessons from 4-12 so there was a lot of opportunity for plenty of accidental hymen breaking before I actually had sex. Not that I'm complaining but it kind of made the whole thing a little anticlimactic. No pain and no blood and no real pleasure because I was so nervous made it all a little "Oh, that's it?".

Wise old grandmothers knew all about that. It was handy, if, say, a sheep was being butchered for the wedding feast, to set a bit of its blood aside, in case.

Basically, everyone knew this and the whole show was just "for entertainment and not for investment purposes".

http://mcphee.com/shop/media/catalog/product/u/n/unicorn_and_horse_wedding_cake_topper.jpg

lol aimless

I think (or something similar) was a tradition in several places/cultures. I would've been fucked because I didn't bleed at all which afaik is pretty common. I was in gymnastics when I was little and then took horseback riding lessons from 4-12 so there was a lot of opportunity for plenty of accidental hymen breaking before I actually had sex. Not that I'm complaining but it kind of made the whole thing a little anticlimactic. No pain and no blood and no real pleasure because I was so nervous made it all a little "Oh, that's it?".

― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, April 8, 2014 12:51 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I hope I will not regret this post, but I just want to point out "I would've been fucked" and "a little anticlimactic"

pplains u are the king of the grooms cake

I thought this was kinda morbid at first,

http://i.imgur.com/wC8zEOH.jpg

until I realized you're supposed to "read" it from the bottom up.

i feel like we lost some fundamental idea of what a cake is/was, somewhere along the way, as a society

computerized image-to-icing transfer has much to answer for

http://www.royalcakery.com/Photo_Gallery/Grooms_Cakes/slides/steak%20cake.jpg

They got a name for the weddings in this world,
But I want a cake when I lose.

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/ea/4c/6e/ea4c6ed294738a2c2fe6886f5ee158d0.jpg

I could probably tour the whole damn SEC for bad grooms cakes, but the first thing I saw on Pinterest five seconds ago was "Alabama grooms cakes" as a fixed search term.

http://i.imgur.com/TwGjDBS.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HTLUvOn.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/g2IBptY.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/hEsFtnJ.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/R0b3UYK.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/sGoB32e.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/jt19FOg.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/rDE1IrB.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/V2AU6y5.jpg

But first, getting back to the SEC for a moment...

http://i.imgur.com/RZcBbdS.jpg

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Pretty sure this is somehow SEC-related too.

http://i.imgur.com/kZ5LcyM.jpg

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SEC, though B1G12 definitely a possibility.

http://i.imgur.com/Fmh3SYf.jpg

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OK, now. Getting out of hand.

http://i.imgur.com/1u87aXS.jpg

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http://i.imgur.com/p8fTHi6.jpg

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No, seriously. It looks just like the painting. It's got wings and everything.

http://i.imgur.com/Q0jN4DJ.jpg

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Not sure what football conference this is from.

http://i.imgur.com/K054tmW.jpg

Didja hear that even "geeks" get married now too?

http://i.imgur.com/L4fc0NX.jpg

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No, a Jabba the Hut cake sounds like the perfect accompaniment to a perfect day.

http://i.imgur.com/MOXyhiC.jpg

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"I do."

"I know."

http://i.imgur.com/wNuQOq1.jpg

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Not sure which conference. PAC 10 maybe?

http://i.imgur.com/GXjVaSP.jpg

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And you thought it was weird someone would marry a Star Wars fan...

http://i.imgur.com/8Njbe9T.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/TbdQR9R.jpg http://i.imgur.com/QUSD4yA.jpg

I know that squashed dog cake is college football related but it's gross and upsetting and a nice encapsulation of why I hate college football enthusiasm.