Summarise a Novel in 25 Words

SHOGUN - James Clavell

Japan 1600. Englishman to learn japanese - else villagepeople ordered dead. Intriguenet between great emperors. Love. Everyone addicted by selfmurder and obedience.

"der spiegel" runs a story about this thread! (in german)
http://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/0,1518,294618,00.html

hi,
i just want to tell, that u got mentioned in zhe german "spiegel" (the mirrorw), one of the biggest german magazins.

http://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/0,1518,294618,00.html

thats a great idea to summarise novels in 25 words, also very funny.

thx to all of u who have found the time and the effort to contribute some summarasetion to this page.

cu

Claudio

yep... but those dimwits forgot to post a link, so i had to find it via google

BTW.. is there a "summarize a movie in 25 words" franchise? if not, it would certainly be great...

******* Science Fiction Summary ***********

William Gibson: Neuromancer

Case gets his brain repaired by AI to screw his dead girl inside the Matrix. His new girl enjoys killing people in a stylish way.
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Isaac Asimov: I, Robot

Computers are wonderful because the do what they're told. Humans not so.
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Frank Herbert: Dune

Guy goes into the desert to find he is the messiah everybody is waiting for but discovers he is unable to change anything.

Dune II: He still can't, though he is emperor of the Galaxy
Dune III: Neither can his Children, although they are superhuman.
Dune IV: His son still fails despite becoming a god.
Dune V: Sex doesn't help solving the problem.
Dune IV: Best sex in the universe, neither.

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The Collected Works of Robert A. Heinlein

Real Guys kick sissys around and get the chicks laid, all times ,all universes, except USA, Terra, middle of 20th century.
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Robert Zelazny: The Lord of Light

On a remote planet, Buddha destroys oligarchy of indian gods by allying with alien natives, freeing mankind.
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Larry Niven & Jerry Purnelle: Footfall

Aliens arrive in giant spaceship to conquer Earth but are beaten back by NASA-Shuttles and patriotic americans that support manned space flight.

W. Golding: Lord of the Flies

Everyone has bad thoughts, even kids. Having this emotions under control becomes important.

Erich von Däniken: Chariots of the Gods

We evolved from apes, but they were the first who flew to space.

"Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy:

She's married with the wrong man. She loves the wrong one too. She chooses the train.

Ken Follett - Eye of the Needle

I killed her. Ooops, I did it again.

"The Physicists" by Friedrich Duerrenmatt

Three physicists pretend to be nuts, who pretend to be another great physicists. They murder hospital's stuff to prove their madness. The plan fails.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Jose Arcadio Buendia, Colonel Aureliano Buendia,Ursula Iguaran, Amaranta, Remedios, Renata Remedios, Amaranta Ursula, Jose Arcadio Segundo, Aurelianox17,loads of shagging, killing, amnesia, and pigtails.

Fahrenheit 451

Man burns books, reads one, changes mind

The Heart of a dog

Dog turned into man-dog by professer,causes chaos, then turned back into dog again. Parody of Russian Revolution, and how commies are such bastards.

The Merchant of Venice

Jewish merchant makes deal, loses deal due to a bit of unfairness. oy! what a world!

Blood Hunt

Man murdered, murderer murdered by murderer's murdered man's brother. All this set in the beautiful Scottish Highlands.

All Novels by Philip K. Dick:

"Reality sucks. The 50´ies suck. I suck. They suck. We all suck."

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, by Haruki Murakami:

Likable but slightly cranky fellow´s wife gets screwed by her brother. Likable but slightly cranky fellow goes out to find his cat and screws brother.

heavy people meet light people. not even the dog survives.
- the unbearable lightness of being - milan kundera

- motherless brooklyn. jonathan lethem

boy gets to work for mobster boss. boy grows older, is a mobster. mobster boss dies. boy (now mobster) finds out who did it.

women are toys. being rude to women is cool and everything is perishable except beer.

- on the road, jack kerouac

women are toys. being rude to women is cool and everything is perishable except beer.

I got 3 new short summaries for you ;-)

Isaac Asimov - Foundation (Trilogy)

Political business-novel. Scientists fighting over aristrocrats in the galaxy to rebuild it faster.

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Neal Stephenson - Cryptonomicon

Techno-Pop and Cyber-Punk. Six different strands of acting (from WW2 up to today) become one. All about cryptography and political issues. Heavy.

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Neal Stephenson - Diamond Age

Futuristic cyber-punk. Young girl gets grown up and taught only by an electronic book. Rise and fall of a whole system.

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Well thats it ;-)

the fifth gospel, or the devil's party in moscow.

don't fuck the devil... you might find yourself in odessa

only the good survive... do they?

(master and margerita by mikhail bulgakov)

Brother Of Sleep - Robert Schneider

endogamy made me a real good organ player.

Stupid White Men - Michael Moore

better be white...and rich...or move to europe

The Very Hungry Caterpillar - Eric Carle
egg, caterpillar, pupa, butterfly

You're ugly, you're alone, you're thirsty. You're a SON OF A BITCH on shining wheels!

Ham on Rye - Charles Bukowski

You're ugly, you're alone, you're thirsty. You're a SON OF A BITCH on shining wheels!

Vacuum Diagramms -- Stephen Baxter

500 Billion years, Entropy wins

Das Boot -- Buchheim

war sucks, life in a submarine, too

Apologia Sokratous -- Platon

democracy and justice don't work

Odysse -- Homer

Don't mess with gods, or u'll stay on sea

De bello gallico -- G.J. Caesar

wow, he is (I am) such a clever conqueror!!

the nights dawn trilogy -- peter hamilton

sex leads to undead leads to sex

Faust -- J.W. Goethe

u can fool Satan

A Canticle For Leibowitz -- W.M. Miller

life's a loop..

Joel-Peter Rifkin - "55"
If you are sick in the head, like photography, art and necrophilia - move to the mexican-american border.

"the rise and fall of the Third Reich" - William L. Shirer

The Third Reich rises at first and then falls *g* Nazis piss off!

Hunter S. Thomspon -- Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

Two guys go to Las Vegas where they consume almost any drug known to mankind since 1492. When finished, they leave without getting into any trouble.

"the da vinci code" by dan brown

harvard symbol-geek searches a dead woman while beeing chased by a weird french o.O

The End of History. Where do we stand? by Francis Fukuyama

American-style Democracy rulez. Capitalism rulez. Everything else sucks. Free Trade leads to American-style democracy. If it takes Dictatorship to make capitalism happen it´s OK.

Prey, by Michael Crichton:

Shit, my wife betrays me! Shit, my wife betrays me with a former colleage! Oh shit, both have become evil man-eating nanorobot-slaves! Screw them both!

Fiasko, by Stanislaw Lem:

Let´s go find some intelligent life forms and make first contact. What, they don´t want to? Too bad, then we´ll have to exterminate them all.

The Astronauts, by Stanislaw Lem:

Four Astronauts go to Venus. They tell a lot of anecdotes about science. Venus is a dead planet. What the f**k happened here?

Musashi, by Eiji Yoshikawa:

Boy becomes Samurai, kills a lot enemies and never gets laid once in the course of 1170 pages even though he had plenty of opportunity.

Stuff will happen exactly like THIS because you just threw yarrow stalks into the air. Greatness. Do not falter. The weak will fail. Persistence prevails.

Snowcrash, by Neal Stephenson:

Stylish Delivery Boy meets stylish Delivery Girl. They save the world. Stylish Delivery Boy gets foxy Hacker Girl. Mafia owes Stylish Delivery Girl a favour.

"Metamorphosis" by Kafka

A guy awakes, regrets it almost instantly for he has turned into a bug while sleeping. Terrorises his family. Gets what he deserves.

"Master and Margarete" by Bulgakov

Never fuck with Mephisto unless you are a good friend of Jesus. Than it'll work out.

"The Name Of The Rose"

Holmes and wAdson hit the middleages, solve the riddle and get rid of the old guy.

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Fascists are to be fought. Commies/Republicans are dumb and/or cruel. One can not hinder the fascists to win, only die fighting them.

Rules for Summaries
(actually, a few modest hints, I'm a foreigner everywhere)

1. Describe, don't comment
2. Don't try to be smarter that the book you've read.
3. Always imagine your audience doesn't know the book.

hey, that are less than 25 words :-)

I just want to tell you that you were mentioned in croatian largest internet portal as a very interested forum.www.klik.hr,but it's on croatian of course