God bless the goddamn Onion

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two months pass...

o shi i hadn't seen these cartoons before -- awesome.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

"After my baby didn't babble or gesture after 12 months, I hoped the cause was autism. I've since learned he's dead."

That mong guy that's shit, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha OMG:

First Indian-American Governor Elected

With his swearing in as governor of Louisiana on Monday, Republican Bobby Jindal became the first Indian-American to head a U.S. state. What do you think?

Dave Piedmont,
Systems Analyst

"His parents must be so close to being proud."

nabisco, Thursday, 17 January 2008 01:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Steven Seagal is...

Kerm, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:09 (nine years ago) Permalink


story of my life

and what, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

lol "Skeepers"

Jordan, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

haha deja vu

me: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my
Sent at 4:31 PM on Wednesday
Jordan: haha
lol "skeepers"

deej, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:50 (nine years ago) Permalink


: /

Bodrick III, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

that's totally the lowered-standards look

... anonymous sex with me that I'll begin to regret it as it's happening?
oh double-edged zing

rrrobyn, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 23:00 (nine years ago) Permalink


Dr Morbius, Friday, 7 March 2008 21:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha, i worked at the Skeepers in Ann Arbor from '98 - '00.

kingfish, Saturday, 8 March 2008 03:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Microwave Quietly Encouraged"

calstars, Saturday, 15 March 2008 13:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

the onion magazine + editorial cartoons are my fav shit now

and what, Saturday, 15 March 2008 14:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kelly is a genius.

Bodrick III, Saturday, 15 March 2008 14:37 (nine years ago) Permalink


One of my fave pieces for a long time, great concept.

Bodrick III, Saturday, 15 March 2008 14:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

Bob can go fuck himself for those shoes/boots.

wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think it's funny.

chap, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

that craig kilborn bit they did a few months ago (which i conveniently cannot find a link to right now) was one of the best things they've ever done

the sir weeze, Saturday, 15 March 2008 18:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

-- wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:25

Think it's because this character = almost everybody I work with.

They have trouble understanding complex, intellectual ideas like "Maybe not every problem with the UK today can be blamed on asylum seekers."

Bodrick III, Saturday, 15 March 2008 20:50 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think it's funny.

yeah, i like it too. I usually enjoy their "explicitly deconstructing thoughtless everyday habits" bits.

kingfish, Saturday, 15 March 2008 21:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Haha this joke would appear to be entirely coincidental, and yet ...

COLUMN: Smoove B signs off -- "Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat."

AMERICAN VOICES TOPIC: "Farmers Planting Less Corn"

nabisco, Wednesday, 2 April 2008 20:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

i'm dying here.

s1ocki, Wednesday, 2 April 2008 20:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

cherry coke all over my monitor

balls, Wednesday, 2 April 2008 20:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

The Onion Movie is surprisingly terrible

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Monday, 23 June 2008 02:37 (nine years ago) Permalink


Hurting 2, Monday, 23 June 2008 02:41 (nine years ago) Permalink


J0rdan S., Monday, 23 June 2008 02:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Oh, I didn't know we don't like the Onion here anymore.

ILX = It's the British press for your iphone!

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Monday, 23 June 2008 02:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

yeah wtf happened with the onion movie. The books were always great.

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 23 June 2008 03:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

liking the onion and thinking that "onion: the movie" is a terrible idea are two completely different things. that's probably what Hurting 2 meant since he usually states the obvious, don't act dense and butthurt about it If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport.

strgn, Monday, 23 June 2008 04:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

If Assholes Were Butthurt This Place Would Be A Butt Hospice

s1ocki, Monday, 23 June 2008 04:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

If arseholes were Robbie Williams's last CD this place would be a road in China.

moley, Monday, 23 June 2008 04:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Onion movie = not actually made by The Onion, who disassociated themselves from it long ago..

energy flash gordon, Monday, 23 June 2008 05:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

Ah, I did not know that. Figures...

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Monday, 23 June 2008 05:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

one month passes...


felicity, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 18:02 (eight years ago) Permalink

lolz "chicken-killing school"

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 18:04 (eight years ago) Permalink

In the past two weeks, Obama has lost support from such groups as PETA, which withdrew its endorsement when Cooter punched a swan in the face, claiming it was "one of them mean ones"; the Clean Energy Group, which protested Cooter's recent attempt to fry a squirrel in a flaming 20-gallon barrel of diesel fuel; and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), whom Cooter mistook for an outhouse Monday and urinated on for 35 seconds.

HI DERE, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 18:08 (eight years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Man, the magazine is great sometimes.

Everything is Highlighted (Hurting 2), Friday, 10 October 2008 22:46 (eight years ago) Permalink

the current print copy full of archival stuff is hilar

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 10 October 2008 22:48 (eight years ago) Permalink

old I know, but it keeps cracking me up

Everything is Highlighted (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 15 October 2008 02:20 (eight years ago) Permalink

This is my favorite this week.

Witnesses said they first detected a difference in McCain's demeanor yesterday, when he paused suddenly in the middle of a speech about Obama's tax policies, shook his head and demanded to know what year it was. Others were reportedly confused when McCain abruptly left the stage to find a mirror and softly touched his face while whispering to himself, "Oh, boy. Who am I this time?"

crusty but benign (kenan), Wednesday, 15 October 2008 04:25 (eight years ago) Permalink

QL references get me every time.

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 15 October 2008 04:34 (eight years ago) Permalink

Ever notice how if you read too much Onion at once, actual news starts to resemble it more and more?

crusty but benign (kenan), Wednesday, 15 October 2008 04:42 (eight years ago) Permalink

QL references get me every time.


Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 15 October 2008 04:59 (eight years ago) Permalink

one of my favorite ever headlines, and possibly my first encounter with the onion, is "local lutheran minister loves to fuck his wife" and that'll be 20yrs old in november and it's still funny to me

gbx, Friday, 14 July 2017 23:52 (one week ago) Permalink

they're over 20 for sure! I just looked up the earliest I remember my brother bringing home from college - "Christ Returns to NBA" and it's 1996. hard to believe that photoshop lolz are older than college students now.

﴿→ ☺ (Doctor Casino), Friday, 14 July 2017 23:58 (one week ago) Permalink

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