correct etiquette is to try all the samples they'll offer
― have a nice blood (mh), Sunday, 9 March 2014 16:44 (ten years ago) link
when there's a long instrumental bit during a karaoke song, some people dance, some people goof off...I just sit there holding the mic looking away from everyone and trying to hurry the rest of the song along.
― Neanderthal, Sunday, 9 March 2014 16:45 (ten years ago) link
If you're ordering lunch at Panda Express in the Loop you're choosing to engage in a precise, efficient (and actually pretty simple) system that demands personal effort for group benefit. Individualism must be overcome. There is no "I" in Panda Express.
But the first time is terrifying.
― Je55e, Monday, 10 March 2014 14:27 (ten years ago) link
So they stopped carrying the small fages at our Costco (or ran out) and we switched to the Chobani 0% -- holy fuck it's good! I get "Chobani Time" now. I can't even believe this stuff is non-fat.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:47 (nine years ago) link
today I got asked at Panera if I wanted to add a pastry for 99 cents and I said "no thanks" in what I thought was a normal voice but I guess there was the hint of a smirk or something and the girl said "sorry, part of the script" and I felt embarrassed like I shut her down or somethin.
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:49 (nine years ago) link
she liked you
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 04:55 (nine years ago) link
or she just wanted to telegraph "I hate working here" to whoever
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 04:56 (nine years ago) link
yesterday at the grocery store i consciously tried to not think about la lechera as i approached the chobani section because i like la lechera and would not wish to annoy her even invisibly at a great distance but i failed and then i lolled.
― estela, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 05:09 (nine years ago) link
the blood orange chobanis are the best
― clouds, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:18 (nine years ago) link
i failed and then i lolled
^ title of my eventual memoirs
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:21 (nine years ago) link
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:49 (9 hours ago) Permalink
There was a time when WaWa employees in New Jersey were required to ask if you would like to "upgrade to double meat" on your sandwich. I felt embarrassed for them.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:31 (nine years ago) link
Any restaurant that requires employees to holler "Welcome to Moe's!" Welcome to Jason's Deli!" "Welcome to the Burritodome!"
It's awkward for the workers, uncomfortable for the people walking in the door, distracting for the diners eating the food.
― pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:45 (nine years ago) link
I have been asked the pastry question roughly one zillion times, they are as used to excusing the question as they are asking it
― a strange man (mh), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:46 (nine years ago) link
That's not innocuous! It's humiliating by its very nature -- double meat too!
I'm rightfully embarrassed that I've become synonymous with a shamefully named yogurt, but always glad to spring to mind, whatever the reason ;)
― Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:47 (nine years ago) link
My best Panera awkward experience:I hand over my Panera rewards card or w/e after ordering some deluxe saladCashier 1: "It says here you have... a free salad. Would you like to use that today?"Me: "Sure!"Cashier 1 to Cashier 2: "I've never seen that pop up before!"Cashier 2: "I saw it once, but it was this lady who ordered a LOT of salads. Like she'd come in every day and eat a salad"Me: "... uh thanks!" *salad shame*
― a strange man (mh), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:49 (nine years ago) link
I no longer have to ask people who just want to buy a dust mop to also give me their personal email address, that has removed a source of embarrassment from my life.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:49 (nine years ago) link
ugh
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:53 (nine years ago) link
At Hollywood Video I used to have to sell people "Bundle Deals" of two popcorns, a candy, and a soda along with their rental of two new release movies. For like $1.63 more or some ridiculous price. I always spelled everything out for the customers, which was annoying and time consuming and a lot to say but many of my coworkers were like "do you want a bundle with that" or "do you want to make that a bundle"? which none of the customers understood so the employee would have to explain it anyway.
― how's life, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:58 (nine years ago) link
Have we mentioned the horror of Coldstone Creamery employees having to SING when you put money in their tip jar? So humiliating and terrible.
(They might not do that anymore. It's been a decade since I've been in a Coldstone Creamery.)
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:17 (nine years ago) link
In Barnes & Noble they still ask you if you want to become a member every time you make a purchase, but with utter resignation, as though they realize they are asking if you would like to board a sinking ship.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:25 (nine years ago) link
― pplains, Tuesday, April 29, 2014 8:45 AM (50 minutes ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e0VvHZMaTs
― clouds, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:40 (nine years ago) link
last week i went into a cvs and a guy who was clearly a regional manager was giving the staff a lil pep talk, which he interrupted to really intensely ask me if i needed help with anything
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:59 (nine years ago) link
crazy! i feel like it's impossible to get anyone to help you at cvs. i end up walking through every aisle in the store before i can even find someone who works there
― marcos, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:02 (nine years ago) link
YES CAN YOU TELL ME WHICH AISLE YOUR ENEMA KITS ARE LOCATED AND DO YOU CARRY CIRCUS PEANUTS? xp
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:02 (nine years ago) link
I've likely told this story before. My yarns are about all spun.
ME: Just these guitar picks.
MUSIC CENTER GUY: Sure, let me get your name.
ME: My name? For what? I'm paying cash.
MUSIC CENTER GUY: I know. I still need your name to enter into the system.
[10-second stare down]
ME: John Smith.
MUSIC CENTER GUY: Ah! I see you've been here many times!
― pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:16 (nine years ago) link
lmao
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:20 (nine years ago) link
I got into an actual shouting match with a poor cashier at Staples because she wouldn't sell me a Snickers bar unless I gave her my telephone number.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:20 (nine years ago) link
That probably goes in the irrationally angry thread, though.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:21 (nine years ago) link
I also get embarrassed anytime a cashier comments on my t-shirt. without fail, anytime I wORE one of my Wu-Tang shirts at this one Shell station there were two cashiers who would see it and be all like "WU-TANG, YEAAA!!! PROTECT YA NECK, BABY! RAW LIKE COCAINE STR8 FROM BOLIVIA" and I'm all blushin as the other customers look confused, hoping he doesn't say 'AW YEA, CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME" when I hand him a ten dollah bill*
*fortunately this did not happen, one of the dudes was kinda funny tho. the toilets overflowed one night and this idiot 20-something kept walkin around dto shop and the employee yells "DON'T FUCKIN WALK IN THAT SHIT! THAT'S FUCKIN DOO DOO WATER, MAN!".
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:38 (nine years ago) link
the funniest script I ever heard on a call was from a bank, maybe Wachovia (at the time) or something like that. I was calling w/ a client on a conference call and the lady answers and says:
"Good morning. My name is <redacted> and my mission is to provide you with unmatched customer service. How may I help you today?"
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:40 (nine years ago) link
oh god oh god
I called my bank to get a debit card without an RFD chip (because our city's shitty new fare card readers on public transportation were debiting my checking account) and the CSR who answered asked, "How can I make you smile today?" and I was like BAAAARRRRRFFFFF
AND THEN at the end of the call after she verified that there was nothing else she could do to help me, she said, "Can you do me a favor?" and I'm like "Maaayyybeee?" and she says, "Can you smile the rest of the day for me?"
I feel gross even typing this out.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:47 (nine years ago) link
I never really thought about going to a cold stone but seeing something about them having to sing horrified me so much that it guaranteed this would never happen.
A couple weeks ago I bought ice cream at the campus dairy (big ag school, have a functional dairy on campus, incredibly delicious ice cream and cheese) and usually its staffed by indifferent undergrads but this time it was like the guy who manages the place and he had that kind of slimy middle aged slick hair golf guy vibe that rubs me the wrong way. As people we paying he was asking them to yell the traditional sports team affirmation and they'd do it and all laugh about it and I started sweating.
When I paid he asked me to do the same and I said that I'm not going to do that and would just like my ice cream; he was like c'mon, no big deal and I kind of broke and gave him this spiel about how I realize there are people like him who enjoy this sort of forced jovial thing with customers and there are people like me who despise it and will go out of their way to avoid places that put me on the spot to do something I find embarrassing and he looked disgusted at me as I put headphones on and ate my ice cream while looking at my phone. Fuck that guy.
― joygoat, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:18 (nine years ago) link
*stands and applauds*
― baked beings on toast (suzy), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link
forced joviality with trader joe's checkers is becoming the bane of my irrationally embarrassment.yesterday i got what I had hoped would be a brief exchange
hi!hellohow's it going?great thanks.
pause. praying for end of convo but...
so how was your weekend?pretty good.what did you get up to?not a whole lot
(meanwhile I'm in my head screaming SHUT UP SHUT UP STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT)
like I like pleasantries and some general politeness but you don't have to do this, i don't expect it, i don't like it and i don't want to do this pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:09 (nine years ago) link
he was like c'mon, no big deal
Oh my fucking god, I fucking hate that forced "COME ON, HAVE SOME FUN! BE LOUD! I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL, BUT I KNOW YOU LIKE FUN, WHICH IS UNIVERSALLY DEFINED AS TALKING LIKE THIS! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SHY! BEING SHY IS SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! I WILL STOP YOU FROM BEING SHY BY PHYSICAL FORCE IF NECESSARY! COME ON! FUN!" shit.
Joygoat, you are seriously my hero for standing up to that guy.
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:25 (nine years ago) link
xpColdstone also refers to their sizes by embarrassing phrases, one being "Gotta have it." I don't know if they *make* you use them but they do seem to expect it.
― nickn, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:56 (nine years ago) link
good for you, joygoat - i too will go out of my way to avoid those kinds of places bc i find that stuff mortifying. i don't even like singing happy birthday to anyone.
― just1n3, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:00 (nine years ago) link
I used to secretly tell the waiters at restaurants that it was my dad's birthday. They'd come out with candles and funny hats and sing songs to him.
Funny thing was that 1.) He was my step-dad and 2.) it wasn't his birthday. I was a horrible child.
― pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:09 (nine years ago) link
lol I actually went to Firehouse after reading this thread. I walk in, nobody shouts Firehouse....a first. everybody behind me, though, got the half-hearted "Welcome to fiyah-hoooooowwww-ssuh!", albeit it was a bit deflated.
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:22 (nine years ago) link
lately the very innocuous embarrassing thing = fast food/restaurant folk forgetting my drinks. The last three times I ordered out, two of the drivers forgot the drink I ordered, and I had to have them go back and get it and drive it back. I always hate that awkward "uh, excuse me!" moment because sometimes the drivers, in a (well-intentioned) effort to show they're sorry and be helpful, do this overdramatic Shakespearean apology when I'm really like 's'ok, not gonna die, just...want my drink!'.
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:26 (nine years ago) link
this thread has drifted somewhat from things that are irrationally embarrassing but yesterday i found myself grocery shopping and there was a woman stocking in the area where i wanted to grab some berries and some fennel and maybe some other things. i hadn't really decided yet, was still deciding what i wanted. she stepped aside and implied that i should go ahead, she said "take your time"
i stood there for like 5 seconds completely immobile and then asked her to please continue what she was doing because her standing behind me watching me choose my food was making me feel really uncomfortable. she didn't get it and was like "no go ahead, i'm ok" and i had to be like NO, PLEASE and then she finally saw the look in my eyes and understood that letting me go first was what was making me uncomfortable and that i would rather not be watched (that's what was really bothering me)
it was really really embarrassing, the whole thing
― Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:29 (nine years ago) link
Was that perhaps at the yogurt section?
― nickn, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 20:44 (nine years ago) link
Fennel yogurt? Perish the thought.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 20:50 (nine years ago) link
nope, the produce sectionalso i haven't had a chobani in months! i have been eating plain greek yog with a variety of jams and it is so much better in taste as well as lingering emotional feeling.
― Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:18 (nine years ago) link
Does chobani not make plain? I mostly prefer plain yogurts but they don't have them at costco
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:22 (nine years ago) link
they do but -- i repeat -- the only reason i had any interest in gd chobani yogurt was the passion fruit flavorit's not the yog itselfit's the PASSION FRIUT
― Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:25 (nine years ago) link
oops fruit
froot
PASSOIN FRIUT
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:27 (nine years ago) link
within seconds someone should come along and say how they don't like/can't handle the seeds and then we will know that everything has gone back to normal
― Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:27 (nine years ago) link