Rolling 2014 Haunted Rocking Chair Thread

I hope so too.

By the way, this Steamboat v. Orndorff match at Halloween Havoc '93 is horrible. Missed spots galore, Ricky oddly sloppy, and it goes on and on and on.

Orndorff was basically one armed by then right? (Although that must be about the time he floored Vader in the showers so I guess he could still go.)

Just watched Zayn-Cesaro and holy shit this is not hyperbole, thats one of the 20 best wrestling matches I've seen in my life.

Cesaro's uppercut is the best move in pro wrestling today.

Yeah, that match was the best in AGES.

For sure, that uppercut through the ropes was a fucking GREAT spot

Heyman's 10 minute long Punk-isn't-here troll promo is the match of the year

does anybody bump better for a chokeslam than Lesnar

hogan?

http://wrestlingonearth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/awkwardshield.jpg
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhQhYKjIEAAlyBQ.jpg

is that michael rapaport

Been rewatching some old Wrestlemanias in anticipation of XXX (which will now definitely be quite good because they're gonna have Bryan do the triumphant Bret Hart two-matches-in-one-night deal) and it's just occurred to me - wtf happened to The Miz? I mean ok, he was the worst guy to main-event a WM since Diesel and everyone could see it (and he fucking won!) but like, at what point did the administration realise that this guy was a fucking feeb who could never make it to the top level? I stopped watching at some point pretty early in that interminable title reign so I missed the moment when they decided to drop him like a hot brick.

I personally think it goes back to the Survivor Series when Miz and R-Truth were jobbers in a main event to Cena and Rock. They did that excellent Raw On Strike angle. Then the next week, they had the best 30 minute start to Raw in forever, where it was Hunter reffing Sheamus v. cena and cm punk commetating as they were the only scabs. And then they did the shitty Johnny Ace and The Miz saves the day; so Cena has to fight both of R-Miz on his own, decks them in like 5 minutes and still calls in the Rock to do it again a couple weeks later to do it 'to save the WWE'. It was maybe the worst ever case of Super Cena and that storyline/period is when I officially gave up watching Raw. Even still now I think I've only watched a handful of full episodes since and generally check just whatever like match/promo or two the internet says is worth checking.

The Miz always sucked though, and him as champ was a fucking embarrassment. Between him and Barrett Garage must have been the scariest period to work in professional wrestling, it must have looked like a fucking deathknell. No wonder thats when the performance centre and stuff got commissioned.

Yeah I totally agree with that last point. In hindsight, 2008-2010 was just horrifying. It was like the New Generation era again in terms of how bad the booking got. Every single person they tried to elevate was quite clearly not good enough and never going to stick - The Miz, Barrett, Swagger (remember that title run in 2010?!), R-Truth, Drew McIntyre, even Sheamus, who has admittedly turned out quite well in the end but at the time, when he won the WWE title within a month of arrival off the back of being gym buddies, it was just like are you fucking serious? None of them could talk and none of them could work a decent match.

Then there was Jeff Hardy's departure, Punk getting his legs cut from under him at the end of 2009 by Taker to go and spin his wheels in the midcard, the ongoing use of Rey Mysterio, Kane, Big Show in main-event feuds even though no one wanted to see those guys at the top at all.

Agree that this realisation, combined with Taker, HBK and HHH all basically calling it a day at about the same time, probably led to the significant change in direction that followed, and also probably helps explain why they let Punk go so wild before MITB 2011, they must have been getting desperate by that point.

*gym buddies with the Hs

yup. ive heard a bunch of times that hbk didnt need to retire but he just looked at the roster and thought 'who the fuck do i work with anymore? these schmucks' and quit

WWE has sent out a survey to fans on their mailing list asking for interest in several potential WWE Network reality shows. The shows and summaries of the pitches (via PWInsider) are below:

* Blackman's Bounties: Former WWE star and legit badass Steve Blackman reality series following his bounty hunting team based out of Harrisburg, PA. Think Dog the Bounty Hunter.

* NXT: Behind the Scenes: A reality series following the talents trying to make it out of the Performance Center and to the main roster, looking at their work, their personal lives and the fraternity of the NXT brand, including the heartbreak of being cut. So, it's Tough Enough-esque.

* Pros vs. Joes: Pretty much the same as the old SpikeTV series, pitting WWE talents against an average person in physical and non physical challenges. The non physical challenges listed included an air guitar competition. The physical challenges were described as similar to American Gladiators.

* WWE Around the World: Following WWE talents taking part in some of the scariest stunts and attractions around the world, such as shark diving and eating strange foods. It read as if it was modeled after some of the Travel Channel's "Extreme" specials with a dash of Anthony Bordain's No Reservations.

* WWE Dirty Jobs: Just like the Discovery Channel reality series of the same name, WWE talents have to perform unpleasant jobs, including going into Chicago sewers and picking up garbage in NYC.

* WWE Prankdown: a practical joke show that features WWE talents pulling tricks on unsuspecting "Superfans." The example given was John Cena and Randy Orton both wanting to buy an expensive car and getting into a fight at the dealership, only to show the damage they caused was part of the show to trick the fan.

* WWE Rescue: a reality show where WWE talents come to the homes of "super fans" help them with their personal and business problems. Think Restaurant Impossible meets Nanny 911.

* WWE Ultimate Challenge: WWE's version of CBS' Amazing Race with a 12 hour extreme scavenger hunt in different cities.

* Xtreme WWE Collector: Starring "Super fan Michael Patterson" - basically a WWE version of Travel Channel's Toy Hunter, except Patterson is chasing WWE toys and memorabilia.

YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES

I would watch it all.

idk how I ever doubted that this Network thing would work, I'm just cursing that it only arrived 2 years after I left uni.

brother this thing is swallowing my spare time

done some of the countdowns, some of the old round tables which Flair ruins by just fucking yakking over everyone endlessly, Cena vs Youmanga, Doink vs Marty Jannetty, Benoit and Angle vs Mysterio and Edge from No Mercy 2002 and Lesnar vs Undertaker HIAC (FOR HEYMAN'S SCREAMING)

I've been taking advantage of the backlog of Raws to start from the beginning and work in the PPVs as I get to them, it's fucking amazing! Relatively few stellar matches (though the Flair vs Perfect loser leaves town match was a hell of a treat, wasn't expecting that so early in the run), but just seeing some of these guys during their actual run with the company is so much fun e.g. Razor Ramon back when he was the top prospect in the business challenging Bret Hart for the title, some of those promos!!! or like Repo Man (who was kinda entertaining and actually not entirely awful, who knew? feuding with Macho Man over a stolen hat etc.

it's cool how in retrospect vince actually shouted AN-BE-LEAVABLE more than he shouted WHADDAMANOOVER

Kinda incredible how shitty Raw looked in those early days too, tiny tiny crowds, minimal production value that is actually endearing - the ring girls with their sign cards were a great feature - Brain just being unstoppably hilarious from start to finish regular as clockwork every show etc. Man but Vince really was the pits on commentary / presentation

lol xpost

aw im so jealous. i think the girlfriend would leave me though if i got it. football manager causes enough of a strain. that said she's on a two week work experience course, so i need to get in more wrestling. all ive watched this week is raw and taker v. batista at wm23.

i've never watched an old raw, since it was on and i was 6. i rewatched 123kid v. bret recently though, still great.

idk enough about pre-97 wrestling to say this as fact but didnt p much every territory film in some shitty bingo hall? like if you watch old jcp or memphis or whatever, its in front of about 14 people. even wcw saturday nights are rubbish.

some of the mid-south stuff from the '80s looks relatively pretty slick tbh

Yeah, but every one of those 14 people started a band became a wrestler.

I'm so pumped about WM. Its gonna be the best since idk 24. Gimmick battle royal with importance so it'll last longer than two seconds? Bray who has been in two MOTY contenders already with Cena who is secretly a great wrestler when time calls for it*. Bryan doing double duty. Lesnar bumping like a boss. The Shield, always. Oh and whether Sting or Punk comes out being the best potential sight of someone since Lesnar returned.

*Watched the Cena-RVD One Night Stand match the other day. Cena was such a great dickhead heel that night.

For sure, on paper this is shaping up to be a great card. It'll also be fascinating to see them finally stick it all behind Bryan, it feels like although the likes of Punk and Sheamus have had big WM matches in the last few years, the reeeeaaaallly big main events have been dominated by Cena, Taker, HHH, The Rock, Orton, HBK, Batista.

How long has it been since someone new was actually elevated to be the top guy at a WM? It's got to be pretty much a decade since this last happened, when Cena and Batista got the kick upstairs at WM21. And no, The Miz does not fucking count.

If they really follow through on this and have Bryan win both matches (and how are they not going to do that really, it would be ridiculous) then ought to fix him in the A-League for the rest of his run with the company, and I can't wait to see it happen.

http://www.kayfabenews.com/mordecai-overlooked-hall-fame-yet/

it's funny because his run was actually short-lived and underwhelming

"Cena who is secretly a great wrestler when time calls for it*."

his 2014 thus far has been great, Raw matches with Cesaro and Harper in particular have been really really good and two of the early highlights. he's definitely revitalized by the influx of newer talent being elevated

Definitely. He was on the Steve Austin podcast talking about it and it was really refreshing to say what he actually thought. His opinion was 'Well everyone sucked 5 years ago but me, Dave and Randy so of course we went over all the time in crappy matches. But now there are actually good workers around and its way better for everyone!'

don't have proper internet so can't watch wrestlemania :''(. who wants to do live play-by-play for me?

long story short: bryan/hhh was terrific

Cena still sucks

Cesaro rules.

YO REALLY

just started watching. michael cole thinks a promo between hogan, rock and austin which hogan fucks up like a hundred times is "the greatest wrestlemania moment in history."

http://www.f4wonline.com/images/maniafan.jpg

instantly legendary

that was really fun. cena v bray was especially good. tonights raw will be a big one. (idk whether to talk about why, because spoilers. maybe a thread where we can chat openly? because some big shit happened and i dont want to ruin it for anyone.)

Jeff Jarrett has announced a new company called Global Force Wrestling, with Toby Keith.

Because his last one and his last spot in WCW worked out so well.

So last night's Raw was a fuckin' doozy then! Great crowd as usual but also well-booked and just all-round good times. Seriously, the last two days have felt impossibly smark-friendly compared to usual WWE standards.

Cesaro's clearly on the verge of getting a rocket strapped to his back as a guy with legitimate skillz, how can we get him more over? Ah yeaaah, we'll put him with Paul Heyman! What a terrific idea. Cesaro's not bad on the mic, but there are very few guys in the 'E where I wouldn't be in favour of just letting Paul. E do their talking for them. Like, within seconds of coming out Heyman had not only introduced a hilarious new moniker for Cesaro ("the King of Swing") but he'd already got the crowd chanting it!

Straight away this feels like a direction that could lead to big main-event things for Cesaro. Heyman guys vs Bryan later this year, I would think. Lesnar/Bryan has got to be set in stone for Summerslam now, but Bryan/Cesaro would be an incredible placeholder feud in the meantime or afterwards. And then later when it all falls apart, a possible Lesnar / Cesaro confrontation on a big PPV? Holy shit I think that'd have a chance at being the best big-man match ever. (I would also be in favour of having Bryan go over Lesnar and Cesaro both, only to have Heyman reveal his ace-in-the-hole, the final Paul Heyman guy - CM Punk!). Think Heyman vs Bryan absolutely has to be the direction this year once this shit with the Authority/Orton/Botchtista is blown-off.

The Shield cementing their face turn by siding with Bryan against the uneasy Evolution alliance was great to watch as well, those guys are just such badasses. I hope the unit sticks together and they don't break up prematurely, there's still a hell of a lot of mileage in a face Shield team in the WWE.

Another good outing from the Wyatts allowing Bray to get some of his heat back, a return for RVD, the crowd doing their Fandango thing again, a proper debut for Rusev (poor Zack Ryder) and a LIVE promo from the WARRIOR! That actually was kinda restrained and made some sort of sense, incredibly.

So in short a damn fine show. all of the momentum in the company is now with Bryan, Lesnar, Cesaro, The Shield and the Wyatts. And there are others who could make it with just a little work - Big E, Ziggler and Cody Rhodes in particular. If only Punk hadn't burned out. Struggling to think of a time when there was a comparable degree of talent on the roster all on the cusp of busting out. Maybe at the very end of the Attitude Era with Angle, Jericho, Benoit, Eddie, RVD, Edge, Christian, etc. Although obviously the business was in a v. different place at that time.

Where does Heyman rank now on the all-time list of managers? I've got a lot of love for some of the older guys (in particular Captain Lou, but the Grand Wizard was also an incredibly fun character (old interview segments and manager best-of compilations are pretty much the only wrestling-relating thing I enjoy watching from before about 1985, certainly before 1980). Definitely think Heyman is attaining god-like Bobby Heenan levels of managerial prowess right now

Fine show. Really excited about the world title. Just off the top of my head you could do:

Extreme Rules: Bryan v. Batista
Payback: War Games Evolution & Someone (Rusev?) v. Bryan & Shield
Money In The Bank: Bryan v. Shield, Evolution, Cesaro, Wyatt, Cena, Henry, Rhodes etc. ladder match
Battleground: Bryan v. Cesaro
SummerSlam: Bryan v. Brock

(then build for Brock (c) v. Reigns at WM31?)

ORRRR like 20 other combos, none of them bad. Exciting time.

Its great to really see how NXT is working too. Rusev and Paige called up, Rose and Bo getting vignettes. I'd presume a mass firing is coming soon to make room.

(if they do wargames i know it is kane but corporate kane is the worst character since idk simon dean)

ha I really enjoy corporate Kane as a silly character, especially because it involves Kane not wrestling more than short tv matches

apparently they're shying away from mass cullings in favor of letting contracts run out (PR move?). see Ezekiel Jackson's recent departure

urgh really?

i guess we will have the 'jtg has been employed xyz days' meme for ages still then, which is p much the only plus side

RIP, Ultimate Warrior.

Wait, WHAT?! Shit that rather changes the complexion of the HoF and Raw speeches. That sucks

DAMN!

He was the best horrible wrestler, a vile right-wing bigot and its a shame he died. Very odd and yet appropriate timing.