FASTER YOU FUCKERS - The ILX Work & Productivity Thread

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (217 of them)

xp
yes! i like it when mundane or realistic details get introduced into a user needs session and it starts to tilt off course as you all argue about what the invented AS A wants to do.

&

Congratulations!

woof, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 12:07 (ten years ago) link

Yay quitting your job!

(I secretly love user stories, if we are talking about the same thing, unless Agile has made that a codeword and not a thing.)

Bipolar Sumner (Branwell Bell), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 12:44 (ten years ago) link

lol woof

föllakzoidberg (electricsound), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 21:32 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Please talk me out of quitting my new job over the timesheets. (This job is under a Federal contract and therefore requires a record of who did what and when, but my manager is asking for details of information regarding the Sharepoint repository. I haven't been trained on that yet.)

Word Salad Username (j.lu), Monday, 24 March 2014 14:53 (ten years ago) link

Is your job conditioned on knowing Sharepoint already? Did it come up as a job requirement during hiring and you lied about it? If not, why not frankly discuss your getting some training on it with your manager? Not enough info here.

I wear the fucking pin, don't I? (Aimless), Monday, 24 March 2014 17:55 (ten years ago) link

The real source of my stress is culture shock: being an employee after years of being a temp/contractor. I was just trying to blow off steam after my immediate supervisor criticized my timesheet for last week on issues relating to Sharepoint. Never mind that last Friday afternoon she and I established that I hadn't yet been trained on Sharepoint.

The editing/technical writing portion of the job is fine. The administrative portion is driving me up the wall. My Federal clearance has been delayed for unknown reasons, and if something were to turn up on my record barring me from doing this job....

Word Salad Username (j.lu), Monday, 24 March 2014 18:37 (ten years ago) link

My Federal clearance has been delayed for unknown reasons, and if something were to turn up on my record barring me from doing this job....

knowing absolutely nothing about your situation, this sounds totally normal for feds and possibly even to be expected

love and light (Karl Malone), Monday, 24 March 2014 18:39 (ten years ago) link

The whole clearance system is probably in an uproar because of the Naval Yard shootings imbroglio.

I wear the fucking pin, don't I? (Aimless), Monday, 24 March 2014 18:44 (ten years ago) link

True, but the other four people who started on the same day as me got their first level of clearance without any apparent hiccups.

Word Salad Username (j.lu), Monday, 24 March 2014 18:56 (ten years ago) link

You're just temporarily snagged on the "moral turpitude" clause. They found out you masturbated when you were 14 and are thinking over the implications.

I wear the fucking pin, don't I? (Aimless), Monday, 24 March 2014 19:19 (ten years ago) link

don't trust a man who didn't masturbate when he was 14 iirc

have a nice blood (mh), Monday, 24 March 2014 20:00 (ten years ago) link

My Federal clearance has been delayed for unknown reasons,

I couldn't even start my job until the security clearance came through, then I couldn't do half of it until the enhanced clearance came through, and there's still the other half of the work I still can't do because that stuff requires yet another level of security clearance, and there's a blanket policy in place that employees at my position don't get that level of clearance because of the cost.

an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Monday, 24 March 2014 20:10 (ten years ago) link

This job is for a fairly low-risk position (as indicated by the last government email I saw on the topic). Supposedly there may be some holdup connected to past security checks on my behalf.

Or they may think that I'm a security risk because I live next to the Russian Embassy compound, and every Federal employee assumes someone else told me that was the issue. :/

Word Salad Username (j.lu), Monday, 24 March 2014 20:15 (ten years ago) link

Who coudl love a man who puts
sugar on his cereal?

Who could love a man who
looks at sexual movies?

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 24 March 2014 20:19 (ten years ago) link

Interesting in itself, but also because it identifies a point where there's a deliberate definition of practice and workplace culture, the values of which much later can be so embedded as to be thought of only as 'obvious' or 'common sense':

Japan brings kaizen philosophy to Ethiopia.

For Ethiopia's challenge is comparable to the task that faced Japan in the 1950s as it began to build a modern industrial economy in a largely rural society.

Evolving mainly in the countryside but soon taken up by industrial groups such as the car-maker Toyota, kaizen - which means "livelihood improvement" - came to encompass a range of development ideas.

And inculcation at an earlier stage:

Michael Rosen on business practice being built into the structures of education:

Bit by bit, we figured out that this method and this model wasn't based on any educational principles but was a direct transfer across to education of a business model of training and production. The child was to be 'produced' by the same systems that were being used to produce the labour-power ('skills') of a 'trained' labour force or indeed the same systems used to produce a mass produced car or biscuit: in a sequence of tiny, separate processes enacted on to the trainee or raw material. The fact that human beings (ie the children and school students) are not 'raw material' and that learning doesn't proceed in this tiny step by tiny step way, was irrelevant. It was, supposedly, Daily-Mail proof.

the consequence of making education a national competition where the distribution of the results is fixed, means that education delivers up a neatly parcelled up segregated workforce, top, middle and a very large bottom ie those who 'fail', don't make the grade.

Reading the various entertaining and interesting Agile anecdotes in this thread, they seem to grind away at a line, one side of which is where Agile is becoming a methodology that is part of the fabric of how many offices run (it's moved away from just software development into project work and some of it even to BAU), the other side of which is where Agile is a veneer on older-style processes (which are what?) being done badly. Does that feel right?

Also, was watching the cricket yesterday, a match held in Chittagong, which reminded me of this documentary, Manufactured Landscapes about the photography of Edward Burtynsky. The scenes filmed in the Chinese factories are v much FYF! material:

http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xeizh2

Fizzles, Sunday, 30 March 2014 12:43 (ten years ago) link

There are various models for the provision of these 'products', but in the jockeying for power in this new frontier for capitalism, one model is for the provider of the 'platform' (ie the server) to win monopoly control in a given area and off the back of this, to end up as the sole provider of the curriculum as delivered on to school students' tablets and PCs. This seems to be what google is doing in the US, where local councils accept google as the provider of superfast broadband, give them sole rights to provide internet access and the corporation comes in on the back of this with curriculum 'content' for school students' tablets and school interactive white boards.

This is interesting. Not sure that the end result will be monopoly in British schools but the idea of content and tech being provided together is already there and will only grow.

Rosen is right to identify corporate culture as being transposed to schools - partly because monitoring and micro-assessment are thought to be effective in aiding learner growth and partly because they provide a platform for corporations to make "evidence-backed" claims that their services being good vfm.

It's not enough to look to GCSE achievement year on year, the figures are broadly stable and increased performance is written off as being down to easier exams by many. You have to break each term down into units, each unit into standardised sub-units, each sub-unit into tasks and track performance against each, just as you would if you were looking at efficiency in a car plant.

We have software that breaks homework down question by question and allows teachers to track not just who is getting the answers right but how much time each student spent doing so. It can be used to compare performance across a class group, across a school, across a city and across a nation.

Yuri Bashment (ShariVari), Sunday, 30 March 2014 13:29 (ten years ago) link

they seem to grind away at a line, one side of which is where Agile is becoming a methodology that is part of the fabric of how many offices run (it's moved away from just software development into project work and some of it even to BAU)

BAU, really? Are people being told to become 'agile' or some such? Because that isn't agile. That sounds like 'do it faster'.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 30 March 2014 22:14 (ten years ago) link

I think that is when people adopt "well, we're agile EXCEPT" approaches

have a nice blood/orange bitters cocktail (mh), Monday, 31 March 2014 00:54 (ten years ago) link

^exactly (at least that's what I had in mind). using agile methods or bits (scrum meetings) because they carry a magic power to get things done. but really, I suspect saying "agile will transform how many cultures perceive the mechanics of the world" is probably a bit much. saying that methodologies derived from engineering and specifically computer programming are increasingly characterising the world of work (and indeed the world around us and our personal worlds), seems more defensible.

the extent to which this is the case is certainly debatable (percentage & type of people actually in this type of work - tho see Rosen for the wider effect). but sometimes I feel the widespread consequences of it are as extensive as a the effects of Romanticism, say. the extreme level of current political centrism and the enforced dereliction of the working class in the uk can make it feel like the world of work provides the defining set of values for a large number of people.

Fizzles, Monday, 31 March 2014 05:59 (ten years ago) link

I don't think people could ever be marshalled to do agile or even 'agile, except..' at work. I think bits of it could be a good thing -- who wouldn't want short meetings where the team get to review work packages in 15 mins and then get on with the rest of the day mucking about on ilx.

xyzzzz__, Monday, 31 March 2014 14:54 (ten years ago) link

lunchtime masturbation will increase productivity

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 31 March 2014 20:44 (ten years ago) link

currently on a project where the pm insists on having TWO daily scrums (at 11:30 and 4:30, no less)

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Monday, 31 March 2014 22:18 (ten years ago) link

scrum = masturbation??

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 19:19 (ten years ago) link

seven months pass...


cockend next to me on the train is trading Legacy - 15 Lessons in Leadership. What the All Blacks Can Teach Us About the Business of Life.

wd love to read sthn good on the models that business devours. sportsthink is surely becoming yesterday's mode - feel that model was in itself inherited by sport from the army. boot camps and paintball. all that fuckin shit.

― Fizzles, Thursday, November 27, 2014 4:58 PM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

reading not trading tho

― Fizzles, Thursday, November 27, 2014 4:58 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what's replacing jonny_wilkinson_kick_world_cup.jpg in the nu-management ppt deck? Breaking Bad?

maybe time for a 'faster you fuckers' revive.

― woof, Thursday, November 27, 2014 5:05 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There must be some top notch fascism in that.

[...book talk...]

― xyzzzz__, Thursday, November 27, 2014 5:16 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol breaking bad am half expecting to see this now.

half-baked theory: there's a sector divide here.

corporate management and finance: sports and army theory. agro-bro bollocks.

corporate tech: agile, scrum etc (feeding into tech and dev heavy areas). all-areas incompetence. feel this is main mode for non-director types. (guy next to me shouting out some recruitment firm saying u got me a deliverer when I needed a business winner trouble is he costs 15K more and tbh I have a prob with that).

start-up tech: still some open-plan, out of box, free your mind hippy philosophy?

need to hit up the fuf thread again yes. wut are u readin no place for this.

― Fizzles, Thursday, November 27, 2014 5:41 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

t/s: 9 Project Management Lessons From Game of Thrones vs Five customer experience management lessons learned from 'Breaking Bad'

woof, Thursday, 27 November 2014 18:02 (nine years ago) link

"This... is not meth." KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Thursday, 27 November 2014 19:06 (nine years ago) link

two months pass...

hooray saturday sitting in a library making up dog licence user needs

woof, Saturday, 31 January 2015 15:20 (nine years ago) link

woof

local eire man (darraghmac), Saturday, 31 January 2015 15:36 (nine years ago) link

do you have user journeys.

Fizzles, Saturday, 31 January 2015 16:57 (nine years ago) link

daily walkthrough guides

360 feedback sessions feel like tailchasing exercises tho

local eire man (darraghmac), Saturday, 31 January 2015 17:13 (nine years ago) link

it's just content for imaginary ulsterfolk confused about dog licence costs

woof, Saturday, 31 January 2015 17:18 (nine years ago) link

no journeys

woof, Saturday, 31 January 2015 17:18 (nine years ago) link

ulsterfolk

Mis-read that as clusterfuck but then if you knew where I worked you'd be automatically making that substitution with all kinds of words all the time.

You are swimming in spaghetti. Without a paddle. (snoball), Saturday, 31 January 2015 17:57 (nine years ago) link

Born: October 27, 1963 (age 51), Belfast
Height: 1.60 m
Spouse: Gina Crossan
Licensed Sobriquet: Mad Dog

the prefects of the spirit world (nakhchivan), Saturday, 31 January 2015 18:02 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

No need to bother w/this work suff anymore yes!

http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2015/apr/02/how-robots-algorithms-are-taking-over/

xyzzzz__, Friday, 20 March 2015 12:39 (nine years ago) link

How much it (work) matters may not be quantifiable, but in an essay in The New York Times, Dean Baker, the codirector of the Center for Economic and Policy Research, noted that there was

a 50 to 100 percent increase in death rates for older male workers in the years immediately following a job loss, if they previously had been consistently employed.

One reason was suggested in a study by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (1990), who found, Carr reports, that “people were happier, felt more fulfilled by what they were doing, while they were at work than during their leisure hours.”

We should test this reasoning here!

the gabhal cabal (Bob Six), Friday, 20 March 2015 13:46 (nine years ago) link

three months pass...

Been talking to a colleague - pretty much the only person who I've met in my line of work who loves scrum.

Got introduced to it in the military (lol I guess) but has used it in successful IT projects - gotta say the way he talks about it does make a lot of sense as a way to run specific areas of work.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 17 July 2015 10:01 (eight years ago) link

our team of 5 or 6 is responsible for the customer facing bits. we scrum together despite working on 6 different projects. it doesn't make a lot of sense, really - we are effectively giving progress reports to the team lead (who oversees all 5 projects) whilst the other 80% look on bored.

koogs, Friday, 17 July 2015 11:11 (eight years ago) link

You do scrum on one single project. So that sounds like its not being done the right way. #scrumPartyLine

xyzzzz__, Friday, 17 July 2015 11:14 (eight years ago) link

i guess the alternative is 6 scrums of 2 people each.

to be fair, occasionally one of us will chip in with a solution to other people's problems. but that mostly happens in a skype window.

koogs, Friday, 17 July 2015 11:17 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

nuh-uh in print compounded by the fact it's in a british paper is making me ia

you too could be called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 15 October 2015 16:17 (eight years ago) link

“Jeremy has led the party off into the wilderness and then taken a hike in the Highlands,” lamented the reliably oppositional MP Simon Danczuk on hearing the news.

Cunt.

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 15 October 2015 20:01 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

My workplace bought into this management consultant team who has brought in this whole spiel based on... Transactional Analysis.

I find the whole "bring in elements of therapeutic technique to the workplace" tedious at best and utter spurious wank on the whole.

I don't really know how to engage with this kind of discourse. In therapy settings, it's fine to say "I don't find this helpful, can we try another paradigm" but when it's enforced on you as part of your job... Ugh.

(In another part of my life, someone keeps trying to talk to me about "enneagrams" and seriously, I don't even know how to begin with that, except maybe to counter "well, you're a Sagittarius so you fall for every wank-word bingo going, but I'm an Aries so I tend to be slightly more sceptical about personality tests based on numerology and mysticism." Which would be extremely unhelpful.)

Möbius the Stripper (Branwell with an N), Tuesday, 2 February 2016 08:35 (eight years ago) link

for most places this is a terrible idea, but my office genuinely does need therapy.

if somebody started talking to me about "enneagrams" i would make them listen to egg.

diana krallice (rushomancy), Tuesday, 2 February 2016 11:03 (eight years ago) link

It's annoying because really, there are totally such a thing as dysfunctional workplaces. (Ironically, this is one of the least dysfunctional places I've ever worked.)

The problem is, that approaches that are suited for helping dysfunctional people do not always work for dysfunctional systems. Even though systems are made of people, totally well functioning people can create really dysfunctional systems, and dysfunctional people can create and use perfectly functioning systems.

Möbius the Stripper (Branwell with an N), Tuesday, 2 February 2016 11:25 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

excellent series of tweets here:

https://twitter.com/SolHughesWriter/status/740472383262298112

(1)Some 19th century work abuses that are back:

(2)"travelling time": then-19thC miners only got paid when they got to the coalface, not when they crawled to it through tunnels

(3)"travelling time": now SportsDirect staff didn't get paid while they waited in the warehouse queue for security checks

(6) in 19th Century many workers had to buy from over-priced "Company Store" (like in the song '16 Tons'). Was outlawed by the 'Truck Acts'

(7)SportsDirect staff had to use overpriced cash card and terminals from firm to get their wages - for a fee - a modern 'Company Store'

(9) "The Pen" "The Call On System".In 19th, early 20th Century jobless would gather in a 'Pen' for possible hiring (eg docks).

(10) Zero Hours contracts, with hire-by-day-by-text wait-by-the-phone are a modern "pen" for day- hiring at the gate.

(12)Specific older laws like the Truck Acts were repealed because nobody thought employers would be so bad again (!)

(13) "The Sweating System" or "Piecework" 19th Century home workers were paid by eg each shirt they stitched. Caused grim exploitation

(14) Modern 'piecework' like pay-per-parcel delivery jobs are often nominally 'self employed ', but "sweated" below minimum wage rates

(15)finally, a 'Middle Class' 19th century labour practice. 1880s teachers were "paid by results", with wages set by class exam results

(15) teacher 'payment by results ' creeps back, even tho' 19th century system abolished as it caused cheating, ignoring weaker pupils etc.

Fizzles, Wednesday, 8 June 2016 10:18 (seven years ago) link

Good stuff.

Larry 'Leg' Smith (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 15:43 (seven years ago) link

Yeah very neat

The Brexit Club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 17:21 (seven years ago) link

Case closure rate up 50% this month tho guys

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 22:40 (seven years ago) link

seven months pass...

this all seems pretty nightmarish (though some ppl on twitter were questioning whether the badges could really do all the things claimed in the article and suggested that some of this might just be the Humanyze guy talking up his product?)

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/bosses-track-you-night-and-day-with-wearable-gadgets-kdn8068ql

Employees of at least four British companies, including a major high street bank, are already carrying “sociometric badges”. The credit card-sized badges are worn around the neck and include a microphone for real-time voice analysis, a device that tracks the wearer around the workplace, a Bluetooth sensor to scan for proximity to others and an accelerometer to check physical activity.

Brauer said the next development would be “biometric CVs”, with job applicants required to present evidence from monitoring to show they are biometrically qualified.

“The basic premise we’re working from is the augmented human being,” he said. “That will be the optimal productivity unit in the workforce.”

soref, Monday, 16 January 2017 00:52 (seven years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.