Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

http://www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/images/van-mirror-patrol-face-440.jpg

"Yeah, I filled it up with Chobani instead of oil and it just died by the side of the road. I can't figure it out."

hahahahha!

goddamn yogurt

When a fictional character is shown to be a tech expert or nerd by spouting a bunch of jargon.

Especially when the "jargon" is pretty commonplace, like "ethernet" or "20 gigabyte solid state hard drive."

But what makes me cringe to death is when another character responds to the fairly accessible not-really-jargon with, "OK now in English, please?"

Je55e - http://www.theonion.com/articles/fasttalking-computer-hacker-just-has-to-break-thro,32000/

shopping for anything at petsmart, or any pet-focused retailer
i just want to get my minimal stuff and leave in peace, i don't want to "spoil my pet/animal child" or have a pet stuff buying experience. i just want to get in and out and be completely invisible
this should be easy but i can't escape without at least a moment of pure shame/embarrassment at myself as i browse or even lay eyes on a brett michaels dog gear standee

dogs ≠ cats, but

i still order some pet stuff online but am always haunted by I Was a Warehouse Wage Slave

all the local ones have cats from local animal rescue places

the nice locally-owned pet store even has a giant cat environment as part of a branch of the Animal Rescue League they host. it's a good scam, you go in expecting to buy a little food and you leave with double the food and another cat.

A petstore in our old neighborhood had a store parrot that hung out by the register. It was actually kind of gross because the owner was halfassed about cleaning up after it.

this store has one of those, too! he's cranky.

Got into a brief discussion of DeBlasio/Charter Schools with a co-worker and then the boss walked in and I really, really wanted to stop talking about it, but the co-worker sort of obliviously kept going. Pretty soon the boss chimed in, and of course he's very pro-charter, which I am not. I HAAAATE talking politics with a boss.

i just want to get my minimal stuff and leave in peace, i don't want to "spoil my pet/animal child" or have a pet stuff buying experience. i just want to get in and out and be completely invisible

Ugh, this. I always bring my dog, because he loves car rides, and loves sniffing around the store, but the counterperson always fusses over him and gives him a treat DON'T GIVE HIM A TREAT, HE HAS A SENSITIVE STOMACH, PLEASE DON'T yeah, thanks, now he'll be puking.

that's a legit gripe! it does feel slightly better with the dog in tow but i wish people there were not trained/required to be so extremely helpful. it's embarrassing for everyone and paradoxically inhumane.

pet stores populated with people who use phrases like "fur kids"

que horror

Yeah, sometimes I can catch it in time, and sometimes it's a counterperson who recognizes my dog and knows he can't have a treat, but too often they're waving something baconesque in his face before I can stop them.

xp

i find it horrifying when ppl don't ask first before giving your dog food, ESPECIALLY a petstore employee who should def know better!!!! my boss' stupid husband did two stupid things at a staff lunch: a) gave food to my dog while we were sitting and eating our meals - a habit i REALLY don't want to encourage, bc we've trained her not to beg while we're eating b) gave her a goddamn grape without asking. grapes are toxic, you dick! which you'd know if you asked first, like a normal person!

My glasses keep sliding down my nose, but irrational embarrassment seized me in the opticians' and made me say "yes that's a lot better, thank you" once already and a combination of same + laziness is preventing me from going back

(perhaps this is one for an imaginary "minor but irrational bursts of social anxiety" thread. or perhaps I can work myself up to irrational anger that you spend £200 on much the same amount of material that my long-sighted mother can buy in the form of reading glasses for £2.99 from a corner shop but if you want the slightest adjustment the staff are all "WELLLLL" *inhales audibly*)

I get irrationally embarrassed if I make a mistake while ordering at a fast food place.

There are a couple places in the Loop in Chicago (Panda Express is one) where you have to be ON POINT when ordering otherwise it feels like you've triggered a chain reaction that will bring down Western society. The first couple times I went there (w/ the very helpful carl agatha) my heart rate went way up and I fucked up and felt like a pariah. Just thinking about ordering there makes me sit up straighter.

Haha those were some stressful lunches.

I could go for some orange chicken though.

Killing a thread
Repeating myself on a thread
Misspelling anything on a thread
Fucking up a photo or quote on a thread
Not changing my HTML to BBcode on a thread

I am always embarrassed around people in costumes. I am especially embarrassed by people wearing full-body costumes.

I learned today that I am horribly embarrassed by the ostensibly hot girls in front of the car wash, who just look like little kids trying on make-up for the first time. Except that instead of makeup, they were trying on boob-maximizing attire. I was so embarrassed, either for myself or by some oddball proxy that I sped past them and nearly ran over toes in my effort to avoid their free towel-buffing,

panda express is the worst "chinese" food i've ever had.

and the shame i was made to feel for not being 100% sure what i wanted as soon as i stepped in line is a part of that

correct etiquette is to try all the samples they'll offer

when there's a long instrumental bit during a karaoke song, some people dance, some people goof off...I just sit there holding the mic looking away from everyone and trying to hurry the rest of the song along.

If you're ordering lunch at Panda Express in the Loop you're choosing to engage in a precise, efficient (and actually pretty simple) system that demands personal effort for group benefit. Individualism must be overcome. There is no "I" in Panda Express.

But the first time is terrifying.

So they stopped carrying the small fages at our Costco (or ran out) and we switched to the Chobani 0% -- holy fuck it's good! I get "Chobani Time" now. I can't even believe this stuff is non-fat.

today I got asked at Panera if I wanted to add a pastry for 99 cents and I said "no thanks" in what I thought was a normal voice but I guess there was the hint of a smirk or something and the girl said "sorry, part of the script" and I felt embarrassed like I shut her down or somethin.

she liked you

or she just wanted to telegraph "I hate working here" to whoever

yesterday at the grocery store i consciously tried to not think about la lechera as i approached the chobani section because i like la lechera and would not wish to annoy her even invisibly at a great distance but i failed and then i lolled.

the blood orange chobanis are the best

i failed and then i lolled

^ title of my eventual memoirs

today I got asked at Panera if I wanted to add a pastry for 99 cents and I said "no thanks" in what I thought was a normal voice but I guess there was the hint of a smirk or something and the girl said "sorry, part of the script" and I felt embarrassed like I shut her down or somethin.

― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:49 (9 hours ago) Permalink

There was a time when WaWa employees in New Jersey were required to ask if you would like to "upgrade to double meat" on your sandwich. I felt embarrassed for them.

Any restaurant that requires employees to holler "Welcome to Moe's!" Welcome to Jason's Deli!" "Welcome to the Burritodome!"

It's awkward for the workers, uncomfortable for the people walking in the door, distracting for the diners eating the food.

I have been asked the pastry question roughly one zillion times, they are as used to excusing the question as they are asking it

That's not innocuous! It's humiliating by its very nature -- double meat too!

I'm rightfully embarrassed that I've become synonymous with a shamefully named yogurt, but always glad to spring to mind, whatever the reason ;)

My best Panera awkward experience:
I hand over my Panera rewards card or w/e after ordering some deluxe salad
Cashier 1: "It says here you have... a free salad. Would you like to use that today?"
Me: "Sure!"
Cashier 1 to Cashier 2: "I've never seen that pop up before!"
Cashier 2: "I saw it once, but it was this lady who ordered a LOT of salads. Like she'd come in every day and eat a salad"
Me: "... uh thanks!" *salad shame*

I no longer have to ask people who just want to buy a dust mop to also give me their personal email address, that has removed a source of embarrassment from my life.

ugh

At Hollywood Video I used to have to sell people "Bundle Deals" of two popcorns, a candy, and a soda along with their rental of two new release movies. For like $1.63 more or some ridiculous price. I always spelled everything out for the customers, which was annoying and time consuming and a lot to say but many of my coworkers were like "do you want a bundle with that" or "do you want to make that a bundle"? which none of the customers understood so the employee would have to explain it anyway.

Have we mentioned the horror of Coldstone Creamery employees having to SING when you put money in their tip jar? So humiliating and terrible.

(They might not do that anymore. It's been a decade since I've been in a Coldstone Creamery.)

In Barnes & Noble they still ask you if you want to become a member every time you make a purchase, but with utter resignation, as though they realize they are asking if you would like to board a sinking ship.

Any restaurant that requires employees to holler "Welcome to Moe's!" Welcome to Jason's Deli!" "Welcome to the Burritodome!"

It's awkward for the workers, uncomfortable for the people walking in the door, distracting for the diners eating the food.

― pplains, Tuesday, April 29, 2014 8:45 AM (50 minutes ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e0VvHZMaTs

last week i went into a cvs and a guy who was clearly a regional manager was giving the staff a lil pep talk, which he interrupted to really intensely ask me if i needed help with anything

crazy! i feel like it's impossible to get anyone to help you at cvs. i end up walking through every aisle in the store before i can even find someone who works there

YES CAN YOU TELL ME WHICH AISLE YOUR ENEMA KITS ARE LOCATED AND DO YOU CARRY CIRCUS PEANUTS? xp

I've likely told this story before. My yarns are about all spun.

ME: Just these guitar picks.

MUSIC CENTER GUY: Sure, let me get your name.

ME: My name? For what? I'm paying cash.

MUSIC CENTER GUY: I know. I still need your name to enter into the system.

[10-second stare down]

ME: John Smith.

MUSIC CENTER GUY: Ah! I see you've been here many times!