Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

texts i received yesterday from a co-worker (working about 100 feet away in a different office):

"Has that fat, useless cow shown up yet? Ugh, I don't even want to see him..."

"I'll be ur Valentine if u cause him to have a heart attack and/or stroke..."

je55e, I found a picture of your coworkers:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/4bf927d1458f6a7cc957c1e1a9fe0404/tumblr_mqpcjk9iF81qd8ysoo1_500.jpg

lolsob

One of them actually gets worse with time. This week she freed herself of being able to comprehend tracked changes in Word.

Agh Aghh that happened to a colleague this week too! Result: scanned in version of printed doc with edits in pen. >:(

Yesterday a co-worker insisted that I watch a scene from Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo on his phone, saying, "If you don't laugh at this, there's something fucking wrong with you."

wtf, even mainstream fart-comedy fans have forgotten that turgid flick by now

I have had issues with one colleague for a while. Just consistent undermining, and she's not even a member of my project team, but always interferes. We just had an internal debrief with leadership and we were supposed to put Powerpoints together detailing what went well and what could go better. I edited mine and forwarded them on. She waited until I was on vacation, snuck in an update, and reattached it without notifying me so that it snuck into the final copy.

I eviscerated her for that one. such grade school pettiness.

to be clear, she took my slide and updated it (we were not supposed to touch each other's slides)

Coworker who shares a room with me told me that I had a missed call from someone while I was out at lunch. She complains that the caller left it ringing for about 5 mins by which time he should have given up, thereby disturbing her concentration. I ask her why she didn't simply answer the phone and take a message to which she replies "He was calling you, not me."

had to have docs reviewed and feedback given by a peer in another dept on a project, and they asked if we could hand off as we finished each doc. So I had the bulk of them subbed over to this person by 2/25, the remainder all handed off by 3/7. Deadline was 3/21.

Assured I'd get it by then. 3/21 passes, I get a little over half of them. Get daily promises for the remainder. Friday ends, still nothing, I'm told Saturday. Today, I'm off, but log in...nothing, was told she had 'computer issues'. It's been over a month now and the review takes like two hours.

If this person reported to me, I could have had this resolved weeks ago. since they don't, no matter how stern my message, it has little effect. *sigh*.

Had that last week but by someone senior. Had to bust a gut like never before to reach a deadline :(

guy at the desk next to me got poached by another department.

can't begrudge him seeing an opportunity and taking it--i'd do it too.

still, our team is fucked now.

I don't think I wanna play at IT any more, on account of being increasingly tired of:
1. dudes;
2. young people;
3. dudes who think they're hot shit by some personal definition which features Being A Dude as an unwritten, unexamined cornerstone;
4. young people who think they're hot shit by some personal definition which features Being Young as an unwritten, unexamined cornerstone;
5. a whole gang of all of the above forming and cutting out anyone not meeting their criteria;
6. (a) listening to one of them take over the all-staff meeting to talk non-stop about his opinions after 3 weeks in the job, followed by (b) getting a reply from another which ignored the question and was at the level of "the keyboard is the clicky thing in front of the monitor, now don't worry your pretty fat ugly head about the details", then (c) meeting a friend at the pub only for the whole gang to be there braying at the next table (without inviting or acknowledging me, obv)

alternative reading which doesn't involve accusations of unconscious sexism ("but who is the REAL sexist, for even noticing that all these people are men and most of the people they won't let finish sentences are women?"):

my org does a lot of things quite badly but to have so many new staff start and ignore everyone who's been there for several years in favour of bro-ing down raucously w/ each other is p. annoying. Hi, we've got problems but we know why things were done the way they were, would anyone like to know about that? Guess not

Sorry to write this on this heretofore equal opportunities thread, because I appreciate that it will be read by men and young people who are not like the above, and indeed there are men at my work who don't do the above (but are closer to being invited in than most of the women), and I don't mean to tar you all with the same brush, I just don't know how else to explain the tiredness

i have a vision of a conference room - all serious executives - the leader is disaplying their buttocks - they are all carefulyl studying - it is the most important decision fo their lives

I have some thoughts about being a woman full of male execs and all I can say is that I failed to lean in and instead fled to a career where I didn't have to deal anymore.

This makes me either a failed feminist or a sensible human being and frankly I don't care which, 'cause I am never going back.

Um whoops I meant "woman in a peer group full of male execs" because believe you me, I would not have sex with any of these peoples

i have a vision of a conference room - all serious executives - the leader is disaplying their buttocks - they are all carefulyl studying - it is the most important decision fo their lives

this is the perfect summation of corporate lyfe

Sorry to write this on this heretofore equal opportunities thread, because I appreciate that it will be read by men and young people who are not like the above

Fair enough, too. I'm a man but most of my coworkers/superiors are women and, while far from bullshit-free, this workplace has so much less bullshit than most places I've been in.

p much all my superiors are women and ive not noticed a decline in bullshit but it does, in all fairness, seem to be of a softer variety

The bullshit tends to be more earnestness/endless browbeating over things that aren't worth it and less tiresome endless big dick pissing contests

I don't think they are stupid, but I am very slightly annoyed by some people at my workplace who walk around talking philosophy to others whenever they get the chance. I've had philosophical discussions with them, but it seems they always want to talk about some greater meaning and dissect everything without even agreeing on their own (many times) limited knowledge and expertise.

I don't even get involved. I just ignore them now.

most offices woudl be better if everyone was nude

^I smell a movie by edgy Danish director Lars Von Trier.

I can hear a guy clipping his nails. He's about 60 feet away.

look on the bright side - it's probably too far away for you to be hit with a stray chunk of fingernail accidentally ejected from the clippers.

dear team member, i'm fucked if i'm watching it but i've double-checked and We Need to Talk About Kevin is not a documentary about autism spectrum conditions so for fuck's sake please do not bring that notion to work with you, cheers

lol

had a super weird thing happen in a meeting.

i work mostly with people in another city. we have weekly meetings where i'm 'present' via videoconference. our manager (who i like a lot) tries to be a little bit touchy-feely, and we all have plenty of other venues to talk about work-qua-work, so this meeting is mainly to talk about life. it's a little awkward honestly. basically, aside from a very brief update on what we're up to, there's an icebreaker style question that we answer. there's also been a reorg and another six or so people have joined; i don't know any of them.

so the last question was "what's something you look forward to?" either monthly, yearly, w/e.

mind you this is a tech business. there's some people from around the world, and two women out of a dozen, but there is a general assume homogeneity to people's education and outlook.

this guy i don't know answers his question: he said he looks forward to getting this newsletter every month. it's from the same people who run the creationist museum. you know, the guy who just debated bill nye on tv? and people were like, yeah i saw that! so hilarious! the guy continues: yeah, they have all these articles about how the basics of science like chemistry and physics are actually totally fine with a young-earth creationist perspective. and then he... stops talking. that's it.

and awkward silence descends. and i'm very conscious of my HUGE FACE on a fucking tv looming over the end of the conference table hundreds of miles away, like don'tlookhorrified don'tlookhorrified

i still don't know what the guy's point was! either he was letting it out that he was a creationist OR he got halfway into his story about reading that stuff for a joke but thought he might offend someone so stopped before he got to the punchline. but his affect was so flat it was impossible to tell.

lol, work.

I am picturing your face on the screen and dying laughing. I hope this gives you some sort of consolation.

My coworkers are generally quiet about things outside of norms but there is some person parks near me who has some weird printout statement about socialism being horrible in their rear windshield!!

On the other hand, someone has a Lexus suv with a Flying Spaghetti Monster emblem on it parked outside the building right now

i am picturing that being printed on

http://i01.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/062/588/510/510588062_107.jpg

goole, losing composure

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpih6bGStO1ql8i93o1_500.gif

lol

this is not directed at anyone in particular but if i don't work with you on a daily basis and i get your meeting invite and the body of said invite is completely blank then you are a rude asshole who is likely to waste my time

how many times do i have to explain that the contents of secret meetings are. a. secret.

smdh

This is such a minor complaint, but it never fails to drive me batty. A coworker that I otherwise very much like brings a salad in a plastic container every day for lunch, into which he pours his salad dressing. He then proceeds to sit at his desk and shake the shit out of the container for well over a minute. Drives me crazy.

shake it, shake, shake it
shake it like a 7/11 salad

first aggravating day in two months, so y'know, no big deal, but....

Hey colleague, if you know from my prior comments that I am clearly not the person that can make this last crucial system update, and you see that I actually have been attempting to get them to do this for weeks, maybe leave me out of your passive-aggressive "guys, what's the holdup" message, unless you want to get one back in return. you wanna know so badly, ask him directly!

It is really frustrating going from college library to working with recovering alcoholics and drug addicts - even people who have done time in prison.

The people ALL complain to me about "needing job skills" and "needing living skills", while some of the other employees are depressingly computer illiterate! It's not their job to teach computer literacy but it would help me a lot in terms of "moral support" if these people weren't LCD and actually cared about ANY sort of literacy, especially on the Internet.

With this new position, I'm getting a scary view of a world far removed from the extremely bright people who work in a big city. It's depressing!!! I haven't gotten depressed because of work in about twenty-five years!! Every afternoon I retreat to my room in tears because of the depressing condition of people's lives!

wow, this last project I worked on keeps chasing me. first aggravating week in a while.

A client questioned something in an email one of our colleagues wrote, about one of our procedures (whether we require paperwork for certain types of transactions). It got forwarded to me. I explained why we don't, also noting it wasn't in our contract to do so.

The colleagues that forwarded me the email had a private pow-wow afterwards, and explicably, one of the idiots incorrectly told old our client we DID require paperwork. So I had to call this guy out in a meeting, make him send a 'corrected' email to them, and then have an impromptu meeting to discuss how to fix his mess. All for a project I'M NOT A PART OF ANYMORE.

Overall, just a minor blip in a fairly good week, but sometimes I think if I were to ask these guys what time it was, they'd reply "85 degrees".

*inexplicably

I'm being repeatedly and stubbornly told that I was given a whole lot of info at a meeting that I can prove I did not attend; these people just refuse to accept it and give me the info again

I'm leaving on Tuesday (temporary two month contract), but some over-zealous security bod has already cancelled my electronic door pass. So I can't actually, you know, go anywhere on site. Guess I'm going to be twiddling my thumbs for the last two days then!

we had an emergency come up and I suggested we merely have a chat w/ our legal contact to see what the risk was if we adopted a certain policy so we had some talking points.

dude in meeting (who I normally like) shits on it by saying "I dunno that that is the route we wanna go just yet".

Yeah, can't see any benefit to me writing an email that gives us helpful information.

*sends anyway*

I mean ffs it's not like we're jumping right away to DOING anything - I am merely asking simple questions about our practices, and I do this frequently with Legal (and they encourage such discussion).

As a legal person, I want to commend you for asking first.

also: here's your bill.

people make no effort not to be annoying