girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

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YHou should press charges so this can morph into an erotic courtroom drama

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:51 (twenty years ago) link

i dont know how this story ranks against the cheese fry thing or the butt-prints in my teachers house story

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:51 (twenty years ago) link

sometimes i feel like interesting things only happen to me once every couple of years so i have a stories to tell in the down time

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago) link

Never underestimate the power of an interesting "this is how we met" story. Call her.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago) link

"hey baby, now that i've iced up my johnson, wanna come back to my place. if i turn the music up loud, you can barely hear my mom and her drunk of a boyfriend fighting."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:53 (twenty years ago) link

"you had me at johnson"

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:54 (twenty years ago) link

you can call her and say "whew man do my balls ever hurt!" and then she'd feel all bad for causing such pain and promptly run over to your place and like, massage them and shit.
/12 yr old

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:55 (twenty years ago) link

I think three johnson-icings is actually the official measurement of How Long You Should Wait To Call.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:55 (twenty years ago) link

did she seem SORRY that she kneed you in the groin?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:56 (twenty years ago) link

nb: i may have broken into the barcardi again a bit before i went out earlier tonight. i am quite sober now, however.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:56 (twenty years ago) link

Surely she feels about about the balls-assault incident. It's already a sitcom.

(x-post)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:56 (twenty years ago) link

haha seriously, after the gear thread i was thinking "even on a good day, this is incredibly hard to believe." maybe this was my "reward" for having to listen to franz ferdinand four times today.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:58 (twenty years ago) link

how long were you making out?

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:58 (twenty years ago) link

oh at work, sorry, forgot.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:59 (twenty years ago) link

yeah, and SNOW PATROL omg wtf

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:59 (twenty years ago) link

honestly who the hell calls their band snow patrol

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

how long WERE you making out?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

That Cuba Gooding Jr. movie?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

x-post

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

There's a band called Snow Patrol?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

I've become Aja!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:00 (twenty years ago) link

i think i'm gonna let this thread die down for a couple days and then call her

xpost: like 15 seconds. it was hardly "making out".

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty years ago) link

i don't want to know how long you were making out

xpost. i bet they wanted moon patrol but got lawyered about it

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty years ago) link

haha

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty years ago) link

Also, you know all those "how do I talk to girls/guys" threads and all? Jess, you have a bucket full of conversation material right here, and the bucket has a sign on it that says "you kneed me in the balls." You don't have to be all "how do I act all casual and shit," you don't have to manufacture excuses to say things, you can talk about getting kneed in the balls. The conversation writes itself, obligatorily sweet-a-week-later awkwardnesses and all.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty years ago) link

Mr Fancypants would pay like a million dollars to be you today, Jess.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:02 (twenty years ago) link

often, these days, at night, i will be lying in bed as i am about to fall asleep, and i will feel as if i am hurtling very fast in the dark towards a large, unknown, intractable black surface, and when i connect with that surface i will go splat and that is it

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:03 (twenty years ago) link

i dont know quite what this has to with that, but there's a connection, i think

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:04 (twenty years ago) link

franz ferdinand.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:04 (twenty years ago) link

oh man, they suck!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:06 (twenty years ago) link

i do have to say i feel a bit more comfortable going back from "ilx's hero" to "ilx's comedy monkey boy"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:07 (twenty years ago) link

such a fine line.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:09 (twenty years ago) link

all of my pride has soured into embarassment

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:10 (twenty years ago) link

don't get all weepy now. you've had a long day.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:11 (twenty years ago) link

...and you haven't finished your juice...

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:11 (twenty years ago) link

i'm gonna go lay down. let us let this thread die down now.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:14 (twenty years ago) link

you're reminding me of Al Pacino's voiceover at the end of Carlito's Way

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:16 (twenty years ago) link

my balls hurt. i'm going to bed.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:19 (twenty years ago) link

goodnight strongo. fwiw i don't think this was embarrassing at all.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:21 (twenty years ago) link

Getting digits and some smooching is not embarrassing. It's a bit on the "romantic comedy starring Rena Sofer and Antonio Sabato Jr., from the makers of _Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!_" side, but it's not embarrassing. Balls heal, chicks dig awkwardness, and a kiss is a kiss. Sleep it off, Strongo, and tomorrow will become the oyster wherein the gritty shitass sand of your life will become a smooth, opulent pearl. Or, yeah, that.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:33 (twenty years ago) link

Why in hell would a gay guy freak out upon seeing a guy and a girl kiss anyway? Jesus christ... do you live in an American sitcom, Jess?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:36 (twenty years ago) link

was the girl Debra Messing?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:38 (twenty years ago) link

Well, Donut Bitch, the record store job is the wacky 'main set,' the coffee shop is the slightly less wacky second set, and home is the part where he calls Orson every night to talk about crazy Earth ways.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:38 (twenty years ago) link

So, who's Small Wonder, then?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:45 (twenty years ago) link

DB, please. Small bot girl saying 'wacky' things...ring any bells?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:48 (twenty years ago) link

What?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:53 (twenty years ago) link

anyway, I want to know if this girl's skittish gay co-worker is played by either Chris Catan or Bronson Pinchot.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:54 (twenty years ago) link

http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/sounds/801/LETSFIGHTINGLOVESONG.wav

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:55 (twenty years ago) link

fyi jess:
1) awkward flirting
2) ask out
3) smooches
4) sexing

for future reference

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:56 (twenty years ago) link

(getting kneed in the huevos can be inserted between any of those steps, actually)

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:56 (twenty years ago) link

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