Rolling 2014 Haunted Rocking Chair Thread

Yeah I don't know too much about the NXT guys. Think the only thing I've seen was that Generico / Cesaro 2 out of 3 falls match, which was damn good.

There are certainly some wrestlers on the roster who are very stale now after years of being misused and will probably never set the world on fire but who could contribute a good deal were the focus to shift on to the wrestlers listed up-thread. Evan Bourne would probably qualify here I think. Likewise Kofi, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Barrett, Tyson Kidd.

None of them really able to go out there with yr Ortons, Cenas, Sheamuses and bring anything other than a dull match, but put in there with Bryan, Punk, Ziggler, Cesaro, Rollins et al. I definitely think they could have solid-to-good mid-card matches and feuds on a regular basis. I reckon they should bring back John Morrison tbh, probably the worst mic-worker in the company but he was more than capable of keeping pace with a good opponent.

NXT is, by some margin, the best WWE program right now.

my friend cant kick the wwe habit but I stopped watching around the hhh corpse fucking era but dip in every now and again..

how in the fuck are they still rolling out the same main eventers since then?

Interesting time to be asking that question imo. Since they started focussing more on sustainability and merch sales and the like (basically ever since they bought out wcw) the live audience has become noticeably less vocal (with a few exceptions). The younger fans and casuals like cena, basically, and orton and Batista, so why change a model that works?

And contrary to what some might say, I don't believe that this bears much relation to the received wisdom that wcw collapsed because they stuck with the old faces rather than pushing new talent. Because like him or not, cena is still good business. If he gets booed by the "smarter" fans, so what? Ratings and buys are stable with him at the top.

But this whole thing with Daniel Bryan, this is perhaps a sign that they are reaching, or have reached, a parting of the ways. Orton/cena is the rivalry of this whole era/situation, and last night may have been an indication that even casual fans are bored to shit with this rubbish.

Bryan is fresh, he's hot and he's a damn fine worker. Maybe last night was a sign that they aren't gonna get away with wheeling out the same main event acts for much longer? Once even the casual fans are pissed its hard to see what else they can do

issue seems to be that he's getting Austin-level crowd reactions and idk like Dolph Ziggler like house show numbers/ratings

they probably should try booking him as an Austin-level shitkicker outside of matches though, the 20 minute in ring verbal confrontation where nobody gets doused in liquids or the shit kicked out of them may have come as far as it can as a medium

Big Dave is returning.
Bryan and the Wyatts.
2014 is going to be great.

anyway, haven't actually caught up on what happened with the Rumble yet, excited to see how the above unequivocally positive indicators for the future of the business continue to pan out

Xpost to biscuits - Do house show numbers tell
the whole tale though? The ppl in charge must surely realise that they will never (eeeeeeeeever) draw the same figures on a consistent basis again.

The game has changed. UFC, the internet.. No one gives a shit about wrestling. This thing with d. bry. was briefly a major story on the bbc website ffs. I mean, why the fuck not run with it? Is Batista gonna pop PC buys that much? Errrr I doubt it. May as well give the live crowd something to cheer

I think house show numbers and TV ratings are important to Vince, for better or worse, and Meltzer was saying that Bryan consistently does worse house show numbers than Cena when they split the roster

Batista did pop a big TV rating last week but kind of assume interest in him will taper off, if Brock fuckin Lesnar didn't even move the numbers that much after his first match

it's a weird situation that they end up doing things with TV/house show business in mind and end up being held hostage by the overwhelming hostility of the hardcore who turn up to their actual shows

like are people principally hoping for Mania plans to change so it's actually a good card, or hoping that Batista vs Orton actually goes ahead for the massive comedy value

we def need a resurgence of the nWo-era practice of dudes getting hit in the head with a half full cup of coke while trying to cut a promo btw

haha would be more than happy for Batista and Orton to main-event WM were there the prospect of both men getting pelted with litter and cups of piss.

Aside from anything else, I'm kinda curious as to whether this is really a match that even Vince would want to see main-event such a big show (ok so it's not an actual anniversary show, but it sorta is - incidentally, what kinda bullshit are they pulling by not staging this event in the Garden?). I mean it'll no doubt fall below the Streak match and Cena's match in the pecking order, but even so. The last time Batista main-evented a WM the show pulled the worst numbers of any WM in a decade

MSG, iconic as it is, seats 18,000, give or take a few crammed in extra chairs cos rings aren't that big maybe; these days they can reasonably expect Wrestlemania attendances to be more in the region of an England friendly or a rally against the closure of a moderately popular hospital

I actually kinda enjoyed the nature of Orton's bullshit stolen victory on Sunday but yeah if he's still champion at Mania it's hard to see a match coming out of it that doesn't get shit on; I guess they might have been planning it on the basis that people would've been psyched to see unpopular Orton destroyed by popular Big Fuckin Dave, but the nature of BFD's crowd reactions (and RATINGS) might give them cause to reconsider that in the next month

lool can you tell I'm a fan who doesn't give a shit about their numbers or their profits? fuck how many seats they can sell, the wm's that end in '0' should happen at the Garden!

I keep forgetting that Randy Orton is perceived by top brass as a premium level star who works a great match with superb psychology (have seen numerous ppl talk about what a great worker the guy is over the last few years). Maybe they really do think he's the best man for the job? Errrrugh it's fun to talk about but actually quite difficult to give a shit, nothing ever changes. Orton vs HHH over Taker vs HBK WM 25, never forgive never forget. Vanilla midgets don't sell house show tickets

And that includes HBK.

issue seems to be that he's getting Austin-level crowd reactions and idk like Dolph Ziggler like house show numbers/ratings

they probably should try booking him as an Austin-level shitkicker outside of matches though, the 20 minute in ring verbal confrontation where nobody gets doused in liquids or the shit kicked out of them may have come as far as it can as a medium

― random accies memories (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 6:32 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Well... yes! I don't understand how the whole world can agree on being fucking bored of weekly multiple 20 minute promo segments and the WWE doesn't see it.

my friend cant kick the wwe habit but I stopped watching around the hhh corpse fucking era but dip in every now and again..

how in the fuck are they still rolling out the same main eventers since then?

― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 5:54 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Interesting time to be asking that question imo. Since they started focussing more on sustainability and merch sales and the like (basically ever since they bought out wcw) the live audience has become noticeably less vocal (with a few exceptions). The younger fans and casuals like cena, basically, and orton and Batista, so why change a model that works?

And contrary to what some might say, I don't believe that this bears much relation to the received wisdom that wcw collapsed because they stuck with the old faces rather than pushing new talent. Because like him or not, cena is still good business. If he gets booed by the "smarter" fans, so what? Ratings and buys are stable with him at the top.

But this whole thing with Daniel Bryan, this is perhaps a sign that they are reaching, or have reached, a parting of the ways. Orton/cena is the rivalry of this whole era/situation, and last night may have been an indication that even casual fans are bored to shit with this rubbish.

Bryan is fresh, he's hot and he's a damn fine worker. Maybe last night was a sign that they aren't gonna get away with wheeling out the same main event acts for much longer? Once even the casual fans are pissed its hard to see what else they can do

― I don't believe in the beauty standards (Windsor Davies), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 6:15 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I recently re-read the Death of WCW book. Discussing the radicals leaving and that era, Alvarez puts it very plain and simple in a way that makes perfect fucking sense. Wrestlers have their age and then they have an on-screen age. So it didn't matter that DDP was pushed in his mid 40s because he was still pretty fresh. Hogan wasn't dissimilar in age though and no-one gave a fuck anymore because there was literally nothing else to do with him, he was stale as shit after 2 decades. Those old guys, Hogan, Sting, Flair, Macho etc. could have spent 98-00 putting over Jericho, Guerrero, Giant, Booker, Benoit, GOLDBERG etc. and WCW would have been the biggest fucking thing still (well up until Benoit...).

Cena, Orton etc. were invested in heavily way too early and still aren't old in terms of performing. Orton's only 33. And the WWE most probably think thats fine, he has another 10 years. Presuming injuries don't add up, he can. But he's been regularly high up on tv for over a decade and its as stale as Hogan in 99, regardless of in ring capacity. I understand why the people who became big names between 02-07 are there - namely injuries, deaths and WWE not knowing how to train new people/steal from the indies yet. Orton and Cena and Miz and Sheamus and etc. were the best available. It also means they've had a lot longer to get international exposure, so of course they've got a more in built following after 10 years than Bryan's 2 or 3. Now they have the Performance Center and CZW/ROH/Chikara/PWG/etc. so these guys have someone to phase them out.

I've never been one to be all about sales but if they want to give Bryan a fair chance, maybe ugggggggggggllllyyyy fucking beard and goat theme t shirts aren't giving a true indicator of popularity. at least the wee should provide him with something wearable by the public before judging him on it.

So... rumours are that PUNK QUIT?

Wow, did not see that coming. Rumours abound that he's desperate to main-event a Wrestlemania and he's pissed off about how many people are above him on the card. What with previous comments about part-timers taking up spots that should be going to the guys who work their asses of all year round...

Almost certainly just wishful thinking that this is a reaction to the bullshit they've pulled this week (it might be partly that but there must be much more to it), but even so, Vince and Trips, what have you done?

on the other hand, nagl really for Punker to throw a wobbler about not being high enough on the card and just fuck off

From what I've seen, and maybe more importantly than eurgh batista part timers and wm main event is that before the royal rumble he may have been the guy to speak up to vince about losing ppv cheques due to the network and after hearing nothing and on top of that and seeing what happened this week, he said fuck it and quit?

His contract was up in the summer and you'd think he'd at least pull for a retirement angle within the shitty circumstances but as a statement about dudes losing out on money so the mcmahon fam/investors could get richer, i guess walking out is a decent statement. wrestling needs more people doing this shit to try and stop it being a hhh/vince wankfest.

of course it would be nice if he was trying to be all about the wrestling maaan and tried to pop the indies a bit or give guys a voice but otoh its more likely hes just an angry little dynamite kid who didnt get his way and is taking his ball home.

He's been mainly going through the motions for months. Sucks if it's true, but I'm pretty tired of seeing a sloppy and disinterested Punk week after week after week.

A pity there isn't any competition for him to defect to. A run with ROH would be nice and would maybe spike interest in the indies a bit, but it wouldn't be anything more than that.

A year ago, Orton was more stale than anyone in the company, but the Summerslam angle and everything leading up to it made him interesting again. I'm not sure how they messed it up, but HHH going from heel to face and back again every week was a big part of it. They just had to copy the Austin/Rock storyline from '98-'99 -- the face gets screwed out of the title, the heel becomes the new corporate champion, there's a chase, and the face wins the belt a few months later. How do you screw that up?

It's obvious that Punk is burned out but if he wanted to go home you'd think he'd want to stick around for one last Wrestlemania angle. And for a guy who says he's so old school and expects people to do the right thing for the business as far as *his* career is concerned, if he was heading home then he should have put somebody over on the way out.

Punk lost his smile

ambrose used the phrase "haunted rocking chair" on raw so it's all good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6IpZH_J-sY

i need to start watching nxt. this is fantastic.

I've been watching NXT for about a month and I think it's my favorite of the shows. Fun to watch guys figuring it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qo1rvx8zRTw

sick jam.

Cesaro vs Cena: Yep

Gross-Forearmed Franchise Guy and Invincible Workrate Strongman deadlifting each other in increasingly glorious/improbable ways while the commentators do their exaggerated freakout shit in a way that actually seems appropriate

I just watched last night's Raw and I'm surprised how much I enjoyed Cesaro v. Cena. One of the most enjoyable Cena matches in some time.

RIP Big King Mabel Daddy Viscera

I truly regret neglecting big fat guys for my dead pool.

http://cdn.fansided.com/gif/Antonio_Cesaro_vs_John_Cena_1.gif

is elimination chamber gonna be worth watching?

wtf the new age outlaws exist.

the Shield / Wyatts rivalry is interesting, a kind of dark seriousness to it that seems unusual for wrestling as I know it.

sweet match too.

The bad news Barrett character was such a bad idea. More of it doesn't make it work better.

yeah I don't understand what they're trying to do with him at all.

Poor Batista, maybe the only way to get anyone on his side for Wrestlemania is to have him face Cena.

Batista's wrinkly head gets more pronounced week by week and creeps me the hell out. He looks like a testicle.

v good chamber match besides the lame overbooked ending

quite silly, yes. you already have six guys in a huge weird cage, it's not a scenario that's going to take many more convolutions before it falls apart.

Halfway through the show and:

Wyatts v. Shield is Match of the fucking Year. Its going to be very hard to top. 5 out of 6 in that match have the potential to have legit hall of fame worthy careers. Luke Harper is so creepy. Seth Rollins gets better every day. Dean Ambrose is the perfect Keifer Sutherland 80s movie villain. Reigns is a God. Bray too, I guess. Rowan... will need a sexual chocolate esque mid card reboot.

The crowd chanted BOO TISTA.

Big E v. Swagger was fun but its nothing you wouldnt get on Raw.

NAO need to go. Usos are great.

The Crime Time fight was ok. I feel like I once started a thread about unnecessary tag team break ups. Kicking Marty and throwing him through the glass made an ok midcarder who needed razor ladder matches and 4 years until the iron man match win. But Titus ain't Michaels and O'Neill ain't Marty (actually he might be.)

The EC intros have taken like 15 minutes.

Coming out party maybe not the right phrase given how long The Shield in particular have been knocking around the main-event, but jeezus did those six guys look good out there. Especially in the finish, when the Wyatts started stalking and Roman Reigns found himself caught in the same trap that The Shield have used for so long, holyyy shit. And powering out of the Sister Abigail at the end for the close-but-no-cigar comeback, that was some fucking old school babyface-against-the-odds shit. The moment when Reigns started to force Wyatt's wrist up, wow

Surely they've realised something is gonna have to give with Batista / Orton? Unless they want to stick that match in the middle of the card under Taker / Lesnar, HHH / Bryan, Cena / Wyatt and whatever it is the Shield are going to be doing (triple threat? Reigns vs Ambrose and Rollins in a handicap match?)

Tbh that actually looks like a pretty passable WM card, minus Batista / Orton (which would be fine in the middle of the card as I say, but not as your big title match). Shields / Wyatts starting to build a little star power up, particularly after last night. Amazing what can be achieved when talented wrestlers are hired, given gimmicks that aren't beneath contempt and then given time on PPV to show what they can do. Cena needs to put over Bray Wyatt though, if that's gonna have any legs.

I have no idea what they do but in my head (fantasy wrestling booking is a gym time distraction favourite of mine) I really hope its set up akin to WMX and Bryan has to beat Hunter on the night to be put in the title match at the end of the night. Between now and then he can feud with Kane, put Steph in some compromising position (shame Shane isn't around to do the exact same set up Mankind did to fit Rock) to add the stipulation to the match and then have some face offs with Evolution. Maybe have him fight Flair or something too, just for completists sake.

Yeah, the future looks hella bright. Fire Miz, Big Show, ADR, Batista and Orton and its pretty much a dream roster. For all the talk of shitting on the crowd recently and having Orton be the insipid face of the company and the boring as shit authority figure storylines, wrestlemania could be a classic. Last night was excellent too, and Royal Rumble had a classic in DB v. Bray.

Tonight is the biggest Raw since Raw 1000. UT, Brock, Hogan and Vince all presumably return. WM has to be set in stone. Like I said, it could be a classic and there are many combos of what the card may look like in making it really fun. The only real match we know is Bray v. Cena and that should be amazing regardless of who wins, as I'm sure Cena won't be super duper Cena and at least give Bray some rub if he does win.

Run that stipulation for Bryan / Trips, have him go over and inserted into the title match only for Big Dave to pin him clean and fair in the middle of the ring. WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT!!! And then Trips comes out, prods Dave with his index finger and covers for the title. WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT!!! And then Hogan can bust on out there to immediately challenge HHH and beat him in 20 seconds. The show ends with Hulk Hogan standing tall as WWE Champion. WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT!!! Kevin Nash will have been involved, but no one's quite sure how or why.

Also I don't know how they do it but I'd love the Shield to stay together as faces for the next year, along Roman as title challanger/holder. Splitting them for a Mania match will be disappointing.

I'd personally love: Bryan-Hunter (Bryan wins to go into the main event); some tag team clusterfuck w/ Usos, NAOs, Shield, other Wyatts, Rhodes fam, el torito gang; making two matches somewhere between Big E, Swagger, Cesaro, Sheamus, Jack Swagger and maybe Ambrose for hard hitting undercard matches w/ titles; Taker-Brock with Sting in the rafters; Cena-Wyatt; token diva; Orton-Batista-DB that I'd also love to be a clusterfuck where Bryan some how defeats every part of the authority (Evolution + Michaels + Kane etc.? throw them all in).

That seems like a hell of a show to me. If the rumours are true and Batista is contracted to win the title at mania, have Orton-Batista early with the DB-HHH stip match and then DB fucking running knee him at the end for a big YES! as Dave can't work two matches a night. I'm sure they can easily find a good heel to feud with Bryan until SummerSlam not related to Evolution so him punking them all out will be fine.

---

Or they can have RO-BFDave third on the card and pretend it doesn't exist and no-one is booing.

really stepped it up

completely forget everything about ryback/kane including the winner

Did Ryebread win? I think so.

was that the stairs match? oh god

were there any non-divas aside from dolph ziggler who are not twice as heavy as dolph ziggler

I'm late to the party, but I saw Lucha Underground for the first time last weekend and loved it. It's got such an innocence to it, something that wwe lacks. I can't quite put my finger on what that is exactly, but its awesome.

anyone else pulled a tv from its plug socket and had it explode with pyrotechnics in their face?

i didnt watch the ppv

If my tv had exploded it would have been better than that PPV.

lucha underground also has really good wrestling matches

i mean i am way partial to high flyers and acrobatics and max weight: cruiser, the opposite of everything vince likes but vince himself is so adept at burying the actually talented lunks it doesn't matter

the difference is so huge

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/michael-cole-fall.gif

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/why-a-woman-named-sexy-star-signals-a-turning-point-in-professional-wrestling#.VI9LExhED1U.twitter

strange she didn't mention the horribleness of striker and vampiro whenever she appears

also: http://uproxx.com/prowrestling/2014/12/watch-professional-wrestler-kimber-lee-take-on-gender-stereotypes-in-this-new-documentary-short/

matt striker is the absolute worst

so it kinda seems like the ascension are gonna do a fallout gimmick which, if true, i am very excited about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL6YVilSbaA

maybe cody rhodes will wrestle them in a vault 11 jumpsuit

just looks like fake demolition/road warriors to me

which is probably what their gimmick needed in the first place

gd i'm in full on angry fantasy booking mode i need to make a clean break

but god the leadup to royal rumble could be so great (compared to the TLC leadup where everyone suddenly just gets the urge to hit each other with objects) if they cared about it -- it's the most lopsided, unbalanced event and they never give a shit when they could spend a whole month having meaningful matches/storylines to determine placement. love what LU did where they split the roster up into two big brawls and had the winners of each face each other, with the winner getting the last spot and the loser getting the first. would love to end up with a RR where 2/3 of the participants have been placed for some sort of actual reason and the rest are ~MYSTERY PARTICIPANTS~~~~

OR just turn it into a logic game WELL WE KNOW ROWAN'S SPOT IS DIVISIBLE BY 4 AND KANE'S ENDS IN A 7 BUT IT CAN'T BE 17 BECAUSE EITHER ZIGGLER OR HARPER IS 17 AND JIMMY USO BOUGHT THE RED FLOWER AND

lolz. also is there a shit wrestling meme good enough for the 2015 thread title?

Rolling nxt/lucha underground/i guess whatever happens at wm/ss thread 2015?

rolling promote hunter already thread 2015?

rolling exploding tv thread 2015

rolling make sure you make roman look strong thread 2015

rolling anticipation of punks ufc disaster 2015

rolling grabbing the brass ring

rolling (non-millenials) grabbing the brass ring

^^

av club doing public service w/ this article:
http://www.avclub.com/article/introduction-brutal-spectacle-new-japan-pro-wrestl-213017

rolling (non-millenials) grabbing the brass ring 2015