All new ILE movies poll: THE WORST FILM OF ALL TIME, EVER, WITHOUT ANY QUALIFICATION. Nominations thread.

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american beauty

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Conspiracy Theory seconded...I HATE TAHT FUCKIN MOVIE BECAUSE IT COULD'VE BEEN GOOD IF THERE WERE NO STARS AND RICHARD DONNER ATTACHED.

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Papparazi was pretty dire...though quite hilarious!

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:48 (nineteen years ago) link

oh shit, Reality Bites! How could I forget?

Defend the Indefensible: "Reality Bites"

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Come on, Cookie's Fortune was waaaaaaay worse than Reality Bites, and Cookie's Fortune was nowhere near as bad as Pay It Forward.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:52 (nineteen years ago) link

team america. i can't believe i got talked into seeing this atrocity.

― stirmonster, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Godzilla

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:54 (nineteen years ago) link

that Neil LaBute one with Rachel Weisz, what the fuck was that called? God, was that excruciatingly horrible. 10 times worse than Volcano!!! I'd watch Volcano any day of the week.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:54 (nineteen years ago) link

The Shape of Things! Neil Labute is a fucker, too.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Bulletproof, the one with Adam Sandler and Damon Wayans as buddy cops.

― a banana (alanbanana), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Birth of A Nation. I think that Griffith's agenda was to make a film so overlong and horrible that audiences would find themselves rooting for the Kl4n so that the film would end sooner.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Singles. The Core. 21 grams. gone in 60 seconds.

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:29 (nineteen years ago) link

21 Grams would definitely make a strong showing.

The Shape of Things was good! (Gretchen Mol+Rachel Weisz=yaaaaay)

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Slacker (the one with Jason Schwartzman, not the pluralized Linklater film)
Jurassic Park 3

― mike h. (mike h.), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Spun (the one with Jason Schwartzmann that was so bad I nearly walked out the cinema for the first time in my life)

― stet (stet), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:46 (nineteen years ago) link

"gone in 60 seconds."

OTFM

"Slacker (the one with Jason Schwartzman, not the pluralized Linklater film)"

OTFM

"Jurassic Park 3"

i liked it better than the second JP movie! it was simple and stupid rather than just plain stupid like The Lost World.

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Slacker (the one with Jason Schwartzman, not the pluralized Linklater film)

you mixed the titles up

― a banana (alanbanana), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 05:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Street Fighter

― Lingbertt, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 05:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Bram Stoker's Dracula

― Bumfluff, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:25 (nineteen years ago) link

No, that had style. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, though -- that was shit of the bull.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:31 (nineteen years ago) link

ooh, Bram Stoker's Dracula is a good one.

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:35 (nineteen years ago) link

(good choice, not good movie)

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:35 (nineteen years ago) link

John Carpenter's 'Vampires': GRRRRRRR!!!!! On the bright side, it instilled in me a life-long hatred of James Woods, so there's that.

'Saw': To date, the biggest damn waste of my time despite being led to believe otherwise. PE speaketh the truth: Don't Believe The Hype. Or as my husband says: sheeple are stupid.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:49 (nineteen years ago) link

reclamation project: School of Rock is tops! and I kind of liked Cookie's Fortune

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Seconded: School Of Rock is great!

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:18 (nineteen years ago) link

School of Rock is among a few movies mentioned in this thread that I like quite a bit.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 08:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Grease WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:09 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't remember which one the worst Madonna film was, but that would be my vote.

― NickB (NickB), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Churchill: The Hollywood Years
Powder
Unbreakable

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I rather liked PhoneBooth but it works better on the small screen I think.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:32 (nineteen years ago) link

Grease 2.

― The Horse of Babylon (the pirate king), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:51 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't remember which one the worst Madonna film was, but that would be my vote.

THe one with Griffin Dunne (sp?). I can't remember the title. "Who's That Girl"?

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:52 (nineteen years ago) link

recently: Van Helsing - everything loathsome about contemporary movies - stupid, incoherent, exhausting, excessively cartoonish, loads of CGI effects ladled on with sledgehammer force

in the nineties : Reality Bites - a middle-aged studio executive's vision of "Generation X". Winona Ryder says things like "I'm just trying to be myself, but i don't who that is anymore" and ends up in the arms of Ethan Hawk's repugnant, snobby, 24 hour-a-day taste fascist. Yuck.

― Neil FC (Neil FC), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 11:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Titanic. Forever.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 11:56 (nineteen years ago) link

i found a film in my local indie video place called 'Karate Ghostbusters'. it should have been fantastic with a name like that, but incredibly, it sucked all of the ass in a mile radius.

otherwise, i'd say 'Croupier'. that dumb voice-over still haunts me.

― fsharp (fsharp), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 12:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Any Oliver Stone film.

"The prospect of having to sit through another Oliver Stone movie was too much.”
-- Pauline Kael, upon retiring

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 12:53 (nineteen years ago) link

man, i can't believe i forgot about 'Batman and Robin'.

― fsharp (fsharp), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 13:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Most of these aren't that bad.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Dogville
South Bronx Heroes
Enter The Dragon

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Fight Club

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:48 (nineteen years ago) link

A RANDOM selection:

'Closer'
'Barbarian Invasions'
'Salo'
'The Good Girl' (unless it improved radically; I switched off early)
'La Peau Douce'

― Henry Miller, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Fight Club OTM

also:
The Sixth Sense
The Others
Underworld (w. Denis Leary)

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Pootie Tang
Batman Forever (or whatever the fourth one was called)
Scooby-Doo
The Fifth Element
54 (despite great acting talent)
A Guy Thing (what a cast, but this sucked!)
From Dusk Til Dawn
Austin Powers 3
So I Married An Axe Murderer

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Austin Powers 1, 2 and 3

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:08 (nineteen years ago) link

There are so many overhyped movies and so many more incompetent movies. I think a true terrible film has to have some talent involved and still go horribly awry (or intentionally horrible). Like, for example, "Bonfire of the Vanities." But my default "worst film ever," since I first saw it, has been :

"Con Air"

Sub-Michael Bay spaz editing and direction!
Ridiculous script!
Nicolas Cage as a lethal weapon with a mullet!
numerous jokes about rape, and women and children constantly put in needless jeopardy!

Cage, Buscemi, Cusack, Malcovich! Ving Rames! Dave Chapelle! All shit. All the time. It ends with a plane crash landing into a casino, which is as excessive as excess gets.

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Con Air fucking rules.

― Henry Miller, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Con Air fucking rules.

seconded, although i always feel a bit uncomfortable when buscemi is left with that little girl. was that really necessary, michael bay?

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Simon West, actually! (Whither?)

― Henry Miller, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Simon West went on to do the "Tomb Raider" movies. Yes, he's that good.

"Con Air' Is such a piece of shit, not least for the "will Buscemi molest the little girl?" tea party scene. Oh, the humor! Oh, the drama! Oh, the humanity!

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Independence Day fills me with a great emptiness...

― Canute, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:31 (nineteen years ago) link

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Does The Star Wars Holiday Special count as a movie? If so, it's a dead cert.

― Huey (Huey), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Battleship Potemkin yo, the storming of the Winter Palace had every cliche in the book.
-- Gordy Stevenson (sonofsteve...), February 15th, 2005.

HAHAHA. Brilliant!

Aw, c'mon - they weren't cliches in fucking 1924!

But that's my only comment regarding the dozen-or-so above films that I like. My choice for worst:

"Crash" (wurst movie I ever paid money to see!) may have turned me off Cronenberg (& R. Arquette for that matter) forever - and I liked everything previous. Never woulda believed that any film could be repellent, unbelievable and deadly dull all at once - a near-impossible combination! - so at least I'll give him credit for that.
2nd würst $ layout: "Howard The Duck", and in fact EVERYTHING w/George Lucas's name on it after, oh, 1981 is a contenda. And every movie in which Michael Douglas plays an executive. And the aforementioned "Con Air" - Has there ever been a worse film w/as many usually dependable actors? (No.)

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Search party required for Myonga Von Bontee's sense of humour!

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:55 (nineteen years ago) link

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