they seem neither unique to women nor especially common to women
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 01:55 (ten years ago) link
exactly.
― president of the people's republic of antarctica (Arctic Mindbath), Sunday, 12 January 2014 03:35 (ten years ago) link
women be pushin those pull doors!
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 03:41 (ten years ago) link
My wife, always trying to get stuff done before the microwave finishes, amirite guys? What is with that?
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 03:42 (ten years ago) link
so much microwaving, so much stuff to be done
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 12 January 2014 05:13 (ten years ago) link
people who open the microwave w/ remainder time and don't clear it. Brian? Stone? Somebody get on the case.
― Sufjan Grafton, Sunday, 12 January 2014 05:52 (ten years ago) link
--Sojourner Truth
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 06:20 (ten years ago) link
kind of a Tina Fey-esque feminine self-deprecation gone awry there
― ryan, Sunday, 12 January 2014 16:14 (ten years ago) link
How to live like a king for very littleBy THOR HARRIS1. Don’t smoke cigarettes. 2. Drive old Japanese cars. Easy and cheap to fix & they run for fucking ever.3. Buy most of your groceries from the produce section. Most of that other shit is not actually food. You don’t need it.4. Ride your bike instead of driving as much as you can. You need the exercise and gas is expensive.5. Don’t have kids. They’re not miracles, they’re people. 7 billion is too fucking many. Find some other way to give your dull existence some meaning. BTW they’re expensive.6. Get your clothes from thrift stores. With the physique you’ll have from riding your bike, you’ll look hot wearing anything.7. Learn to fix things. Tons of great books and youtube vids on fixing anything. Or ask an old dude. People used to fix things. No shit.8. Learn a trade – Carpentry, plumbing, electrical, auto mechanics, tailoring, computer/electronics repair, something They can’t fucking outsource. No one gives a shit about your Masters in Dostoyevsky…. fix something, dumbass, fix something!9. If you like booze, drink at home with your neighbors. Drunk driving is for assholes, rich ones with lawyers.10. Do people favors. It’s called Cooperation. It’s how the world worked before money. They will return the favor, or someone will. No shit. This really works.11. Make things – Look around you. What do you see? Yah, shitty stuff made by impoverished enslaved people far away. Pick anything. Make a better one. People want good shit. You won’t get rich, but you’ll get by.12. If you live in America – don’t get sick and avoid injury. Wear your fucking helmet and put lights on your bike.13. Find work you love. If you can’t do that, then find a job where you love the people.14. Junkies and addicts are like toddlers. They just want to shit all over you and everything. The messes they make can get expensive. Avoid them if you can.15. Don’t buy shit on credit, remember what happened to America? Cash only, fuckers. Can’t afford it? Don’t fucking buy it!16. Preventable expenses - STD’s, abortions, DWI’s, lung cancer, head injuries, speeding tickets, cirrhosis of the liver.17. Don’t go on fancy dates if you’re not fancy. Most people kind of despise the rich anyway.18. When you go see shows, bring a flask in. That way you can afford to buy a record.19. If you had told me 15 years ago that Coca Cola would put tap water in plastic bottles and motherfuckers would BUY IT …… No fuckin way.20. Don’t get cable. Asshole. There is nothing on. I promise. $100 a month ? Fuck no!This list was edited by Stacey Yates with contributions from Jherek Bishoff, Chad Raines & Amanda Palmer. We live in a wasteful society. Live well. It don’t take much. Really.http://monofonuspress.com/how-to-live-like-a-king-for-very-little-by-thor-harris
1. Don’t smoke cigarettes. 2. Drive old Japanese cars. Easy and cheap to fix & they run for fucking ever.3. Buy most of your groceries from the produce section. Most of that other shit is not actually food. You don’t need it.4. Ride your bike instead of driving as much as you can. You need the exercise and gas is expensive.5. Don’t have kids. They’re not miracles, they’re people. 7 billion is too fucking many. Find some other way to give your dull existence some meaning. BTW they’re expensive.6. Get your clothes from thrift stores. With the physique you’ll have from riding your bike, you’ll look hot wearing anything.7. Learn to fix things. Tons of great books and youtube vids on fixing anything. Or ask an old dude. People used to fix things. No shit.8. Learn a trade – Carpentry, plumbing, electrical, auto mechanics, tailoring, computer/electronics repair, something They can’t fucking outsource. No one gives a shit about your Masters in Dostoyevsky…. fix something, dumbass, fix something!9. If you like booze, drink at home with your neighbors. Drunk driving is for assholes, rich ones with lawyers.10. Do people favors. It’s called Cooperation. It’s how the world worked before money. They will return the favor, or someone will. No shit. This really works.11. Make things – Look around you. What do you see? Yah, shitty stuff made by impoverished enslaved people far away. Pick anything. Make a better one. People want good shit. You won’t get rich, but you’ll get by.12. If you live in America – don’t get sick and avoid injury. Wear your fucking helmet and put lights on your bike.13. Find work you love. If you can’t do that, then find a job where you love the people.14. Junkies and addicts are like toddlers. They just want to shit all over you and everything. The messes they make can get expensive. Avoid them if you can.15. Don’t buy shit on credit, remember what happened to America? Cash only, fuckers. Can’t afford it? Don’t fucking buy it!16. Preventable expenses - STD’s, abortions, DWI’s, lung cancer, head injuries, speeding tickets, cirrhosis of the liver.17. Don’t go on fancy dates if you’re not fancy. Most people kind of despise the rich anyway.18. When you go see shows, bring a flask in. That way you can afford to buy a record.19. If you had told me 15 years ago that Coca Cola would put tap water in plastic bottles and motherfuckers would BUY IT …… No fuckin way.20. Don’t get cable. Asshole. There is nothing on. I promise. $100 a month ? Fuck no!This list was edited by Stacey Yates with contributions from Jherek Bishoff, Chad Raines & Amanda Palmer. We live in a wasteful society. Live well. It don’t take much. Really.
http://monofonuspress.com/how-to-live-like-a-king-for-very-little-by-thor-harris
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:24 (ten years ago) link
kings don't live like that
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:30 (ten years ago) link
some of those seem pretty otm, esp #18
― Mordy , Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:30 (ten years ago) link
King Toolbag the Joyless
― Doctor Casino, Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:33 (ten years ago) link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_children_of_Ramesses_II
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:35 (ten years ago) link
Amanda Palmer
― how's life, Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:39 (ten years ago) link
http://monofonuspress.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/thor-witch-hat.jpeg
17. Don’t go on fancy dates if you’re not fancy. Most people kind of despise the rich anyway.
― how's life, Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:40 (ten years ago) link
it is a pretty good list. wonder which ones are amanda's.
― Esa-Pekka Merkerson (get bent), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:46 (ten years ago) link
3. Buy most of your groceries from the produce section. Most of that other shit is not actually food. You don’t need it.
otm except for the "produce going bad faster than non-food" aspect
― Esa-Pekka Merkerson (get bent), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:48 (ten years ago) link
I am always struck actually how much higher quality food you can eat for the same weekly bill if you just don't buy any foods that qualify as "snacks" "soft drinks" or frozen/readymade/instant foods.
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:49 (ten years ago) link
probably better off in a lot of cases buying frozen vegetables though
― how's life, Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:50 (ten years ago) link
yeah that's true. We tend to buy both.
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 19:51 (ten years ago) link
when I said "frozen" I mainly meant microwavables
that's not thor from swans is it?
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Sunday, 12 January 2014 21:23 (ten years ago) link
if so ;_;
lol jesus christ, what a nice combination of the worst of neolibs AND neocons
― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:03 (ten years ago) link
19. If you had told me 15 years ago that Coca Cola would put tap water in plastic bottles and motherfuckers would BUY IT …… No fuckin way.20. and how about those fuckin airline peanuts fuckin fucklive fast die young i'm 50 fuckin years old xoxo swans/amanda
― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:06 (ten years ago) link
the mike muir from suicidal tendencies one is still funny
― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:06 (ten years ago) link
i am so disappointed in him
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:19 (ten years ago) link
not mike muirthor
why
― a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:38 (ten years ago) link
take one generic list advice sprinkle with a few choice R rated wordspost next to picture of intense guy with a beard
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:49 (ten years ago) link
because i think writing a list like that makes him seem like an asshole (even if i agree with him about many of those things) that's just the internet though i guessunless he's angling to be a cult leader, and in that case i guess i'm a little more interested in the list
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:52 (ten years ago) link
but mostly it made him seem like a different kind of jerk than i expected, thereby disappointing me
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:53 (ten years ago) link
i shoulda known when i saw them this summer and the guy next to me, who was extremely irritating and not very smart, kept yelling THOR THOR THOR
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Sunday, 12 January 2014 23:54 (ten years ago) link
lists in that "voice" remind me of this
http://youtu.be/5xillqqt0Y0
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 13 January 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link
no shit
― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Monday, 13 January 2014 00:04 (ten years ago) link
21. No shit. No shit!
― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Monday, 13 January 2014 00:05 (ten years ago) link
reminds me of this
http://youtu.be/o5APM3LIPdw
― balls, Monday, 13 January 2014 00:25 (ten years ago) link
it's disappointing because it makes it seem like he's auditioning for real world: austin.
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Monday, 13 January 2014 00:39 (ten years ago) link
lol exactlyit's undignified
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Monday, 13 January 2014 00:41 (ten years ago) link
How to Tour in a Band or Whateverby Thor Harris
1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. goddamn.2-If you fart, claim it.3-Don’t Lose shit. Everybody loses shit. Don’t fucking do it. Asshole.4-Don’t fuck anyone in the band. There are tons of people to fuck who are not in this band. Dumbass.5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.6-Remember the soundman’s name. He will do a better job.7- Eat oranges. Cures constipation & prevents colds.8-Masturbate. Duh… Where & when? Be creative. You’re an artist right?9-If YOU can’t carry your suitcase 3 blocks, it’s too goddamn big.10-Respect public space in the van. Don’t clutter, you Fuck.11-If you borrow something, return it. Not Fucked Up.12-Do not let the promoter dick you or talk you out of the guarantee. If there were not enuf people there, it’s their fault.13- Driver picks the music.14-One navigator only (usually sitting shotgun). Everyone else shut the fuck up.15-Soundcheck is for checking sounds. Shut the fuck up while everyone else is checking.16-Don’t wander off. Let someone know where you are.17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a goddamn toddler?18-Touring makes everyone bi-polar. Ride the waves as best you can and remember, moods pass. So don’t make any snap decisions or declarations when you are drunk or insane.19-Fast food is Poison.20-The guestlist is for friends, family & people you might want to fuck. Everyone else can pay. They have day jobs.21- Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on. You think you’re above having shitty days at work? Shut up & do your goddamn job.
This list was written under the influence of lots of esspresso & anti-depressants while on tour w/ such greats as Shearwater, Swans, Smog, Lisa Germano, Angels of Light, Bill Callahan & many more. I hope this list will help you get along w/ your co-workers whatever your job is. Contributions to the list by Jordan Geiger, Kimberly Burke, Brian Orloff, Brian Phillips Celebrity Gang Bang, Kevin Schneider, Jonathan Meiburg, Michael Gira and some other folks.
Thanks for not being an asshole, Thor Harris
― |$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Monday, 13 January 2014 03:06 (ten years ago) link
1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. goddamn.
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Monday, 13 January 2014 03:16 (ten years ago) link
I wish Lisa Germano would do a list.
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Monday, 13 January 2014 03:20 (ten years ago) link
18. When you go see shows, bring a flask in. That way you can afford to buy a record.
this is a p fucked up rule from a bartender's POV
― |$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Monday, 13 January 2014 03:20 (ten years ago) link
5. Don’t have kids. They’re not miracles, they’re people. 7 billion is too fucking many. Find some other way to give your dull existence some meaning. BTW they’re expensive.
14. Junkies and addicts are like toddlers. They just want to shit all over you and everything. The messes they make can get expensive. Avoid them if you can.
5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.
17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a goddamn toddler?
huh
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 13 January 2014 04:13 (ten years ago) link
Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on
― kinder, Monday, 13 January 2014 12:53 (ten years ago) link
19. If you had told me 15 years ago that Coca Cola would put tap water in plastic bottles and motherfuckers would BUY IT …… No fuckin way.
Yeah man in 1999 who even could have imagined bottled water, it was unheard of
― ilx snitch (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 13 January 2014 13:49 (ten years ago) link
Anyway this Thor list already made me get in a fight on Facebook, also I got kinda bored by the Swans on that last tour real talk
― ilx snitch (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 13 January 2014 13:50 (ten years ago) link
the endlessly repetitive use of the word "fuck" makes this list seem so pathetically try-hard, even if a lot of the advice is pretty good advice.
― president of the people's republic of antarctica (Arctic Mindbath), Monday, 13 January 2014 13:53 (ten years ago) link
oh wait, is that an original from here. in which case, you got me, haha, but i see so many lists like that online where they do and it's so tiresome. great parody.
#backpedalling
― president of the people's republic of antarctica (Arctic Mindbath), Monday, 13 January 2014 13:55 (ten years ago) link
Asshole.
― how's life, Monday, 13 January 2014 14:10 (ten years ago) link