PRINCE: (singing on the radio) So if I'm gonna die I'm gonna listen to my body tonightVERONICA: Prince needs to pee! Is he gonna go to the bathroom?
― Ayn Rand Akbar (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, 4 January 2014 17:24 (ten years ago) link
(Beeps lays a round hair-tie halfway on top of another hair-tie band.)
BEEPS: hey, look. It's one of those things you see.ME: what, the Olympic Rings? You're gonna need three more.BEEPS: no, what are they called... Venn diagrams, that's it.ME: oh.
I
― pplains, Thursday, 16 January 2014 02:47 (ten years ago) link
lol duh dad
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 January 2014 02:48 (ten years ago) link
<3 it's one of those things you see
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 January 2014 03:08 (ten years ago) link
Ha!
― carl agatha, Thursday, 16 January 2014 04:11 (ten years ago) link
In hindsight, she may have said the present-tense form of "read." Who knows, i'm old, deaf and stupid.
― pplains, Thursday, 16 January 2014 05:55 (ten years ago) link
On Saturday, when there no music playing on the stereo, Lulu walked over and fiddled with the volume on the amp. "What are you doing?" "I thought there was music on, but it was just in my head." "Er...right. What was it?" "The Lucksmiths."
The previous night, I was being Robot Bedroom Assistant (it's an old favourite) and engaged Human Mode in order to tuck Lulu in, but she was terrified by my android smiley face and said I looked like the button-eyed Dad in Coraline. Ava and I tried to calm her down ("it's all I can think of! I will have bad dreams!") by encouraging her to think about things she loves. "Like bunnies and puppies," said Ava. "That's too much to remember!" said Lulu.
In the bath last night: "I have to soap away this lump on my leg. It's not normal." It was her ankle.
How peculiar she is.
― Michael Jones, Thursday, 16 January 2014 09:53 (ten years ago) link
K: What color is fan?Me: The fan is white.K: What color is raccoon?Me: The raccoon is grey?K:What color is music?Me: Well, that's a beautiful question.K: Question!Me: Yes, question.K: What color is question?
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 January 2014 15:17 (ten years ago) link
Lulu <3 <3 <3
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 16 January 2014 15:43 (ten years ago) link
rmde listicles but these made me lol
http://distractify.com/fun/fails/the-30-funniest-notes-from-kids-struggling-to-express-their-emotions/
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 January 2014 19:16 (ten years ago) link
Those are hilarious. Number 19 slays me.
― schwantz, Thursday, 16 January 2014 19:59 (ten years ago) link
K had exactly one comment on tonight's Super Bowl: "What's man doing?"
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Monday, 3 February 2014 04:38 (ten years ago) link
https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1/1496978_828372643854904_1061682754_n.jpg
"I drew a butt. A dirty old butt!"
― bilbo bobbins (how's life), Monday, 3 February 2014 13:23 (ten years ago) link
It's... beautiful.
― schwantz, Monday, 3 February 2014 16:35 (ten years ago) link
hahaha
― mean-spirited schadenfreude-loving spewer of sleaze (sunny successor), Monday, 3 February 2014 19:53 (ten years ago) link
she's been running back and forth between the couch (where I'm stationed) and an imaginary soda fountain, bringing me refreshing glasses of "beans" and "flow mix".
― how's life, Friday, 7 February 2014 22:24 (ten years ago) link
aw. K cooked me "beef stew" this morning, which was made from "eggs and goat cheese and tomato"
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Friday, 7 February 2014 22:30 (ten years ago) link
"Jesu have a booger"
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 19:36 (ten years ago) link
Friend brought her daughter to visit me tonight at my candy store job. Kid later asked Mum why I "live in a candy store"! <3
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 20 February 2014 02:00 (ten years ago) link
because that's where the candy is. duh
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 February 2014 20:07 (ten years ago) link
K: "What seahorse says?" Me: "Ummm, seahorse doesn't say anything, he's quiet."K: "What seahorse eats?"Me: "Uhhhh......plankton. Seahorse eats...plankton."K: "What plankton says?"etc.
― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 February 2014 20:14 (ten years ago) link
cute.
― how's life, Thursday, 20 February 2014 20:51 (ten years ago) link
A [on a scale]: I am three,two!Me [stepping on the scale]: OK, now can you read daddy's numbers?A: ALL of them?
― how's life, Saturday, 22 February 2014 14:59 (ten years ago) link
Love it when they get words wrong. A was running around all last week exclaiming "twow-dy mama!" about 10 times a day. Neither wife nor I could figure it out. Eventually we figured out that it came from part of wife's potty training praise "I'm so proud of you!" which she was hearing as "I'm so troudy you".
― set the trolls for the heart of the sun (how's life), Sunday, 2 March 2014 13:02 (ten years ago) link
Yesterday Veronica told me she didn't believe in God. "He's just a guy in a story!"
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 March 2014 20:51 (ten years ago) link
This kid's going places.
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Monday, 3 March 2014 20:52 (ten years ago) link
For real.
Isn't this the kid who draws pictures of JJ Fad?
― carl agatha, Monday, 3 March 2014 21:04 (ten years ago) link
apparently some other kid at school who she's gotten into arguments with in the past has now decided to be nice to her. when I asked why, Veronica said the other girl told her it was because she "believes in God". At which point Veronica dropped her atheist science on me. My interpretation here was that Veronica's former nemesis equates believing in God with good behavior. I asked Veronica what she meant by God, which prompted the "just a guy in a story" answer. I was not really inclined to disagree with her in this context, but I did go into a lengthy explanation of how different people and cultures have different ideas about what the word "God" means, and that as Jews we have a different understanding and conception of God that's different from Xtians or Muslims or the Ramayana or whatever. And that a lot of times people use the idea of God to answer questions they don't know the answers to (like, why is their gravity, where did the universe come from, why is there intelligent life etc.)
Then she made me tell her the entire story of Passover lol
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 March 2014 21:09 (ten years ago) link
lol yes. she only likes "girl rap music" (this after complaining about me rapping along to Biz Markie/Heavy D song)
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 March 2014 21:10 (ten years ago) link
Oh man she just gets better and better!
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Monday, 3 March 2014 21:55 (ten years ago) link
she has also endeared herself to the local video store dudes. she saw a Spinal Tap movie poster on the wall (this one and asked "is that The Sweet"?
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 March 2014 22:12 (ten years ago) link
i love her
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 02:00 (ten years ago) link
otm
― Charles, hatless (sic), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 12:47 (ten years ago) link
Beeps just asked for a fax machine for Christmas.
"You know, one of those things where you type your message on the buttons and a piece of paper comes out with it on it?"
― pplains, Sunday, 9 March 2014 20:58 (ten years ago) link
i think that's a typewriter! but a fax machine would be a cool christmas present, too
― sent from my butt (harbl), Monday, 10 March 2014 01:05 (ten years ago) link
or did she say fax machine, i'm confused now
― sent from my butt (harbl), Monday, 10 March 2014 01:06 (ten years ago) link
She said fax machine! Though maybe she means a word processor?
― pplains, Monday, 10 March 2014 05:23 (ten years ago) link
Lulu: "Why do you have that ladder?"Me: "I've decided I'm going to live in the attic. See you in about ten years."Lulu: "Wait. You'll need some things." (Gathers together flour, kitchen roll, pasta, my phone, a book, Jaffa Cakes)Ava: "What are you doing?"Lulu: "Getting things for Daddy. He's going to live in the attic for ten years."Ava: "Don't give him the Jaffa Cakes. Maybe just one."
― Michael Jones, Monday, 10 March 2014 09:38 (ten years ago) link
lol
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 March 2014 16:16 (ten years ago) link
http://www.wgbh.org/imageassets/beethoven_ludwig_250x269.jpg
K: Who's that?Me: That's Beethoven.K: The man is cranky.
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 March 2014 18:50 (ten years ago) link
k otm
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 March 2014 21:05 (ten years ago) link
K did a sort of monologue in front of the mirror today in hebrew, and I got it on video and was able to roughly translate most of it:
"I know what. Monkey in the zoo. I know what. Car in the zoo. Ah, I know what, chicken in the zoo. Ah I know what, cartilage in the zoo....On vacation, we saw, what else? Ah, I know. Cartilage in the zoo....On vacation we saw, I know what, cartilage in the zoo. I know what, potty in the zoo. Maybe, I know what, ears in the zoo. Maybe, I know what, I know what, I know what, I know. I know what. Bellybutton in the zoo. I know what! (?) in the zoo. [not sure about the next few words]. Who else is in the zoo? Ah, I know, bird in the zoo. I know what. I know what. Maybe, I know what, woman in the zoo....[?]....Ah, I know what, woman in the zoo. (picks up phone) Hey, what's up? Everything's good Shlomo..."
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 March 2014 02:47 (ten years ago) link
this kid kills me. i really hope she's inherited your wife's weird sleeptalking skills, too, bc i'm looking to reading about those.
― just1n3, Monday, 17 March 2014 03:32 (ten years ago) link
where did she pick up cartilage from??
She really loves eating chicken drumsticks with the bone, and we tell her not to eat the cartilage part.
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 March 2014 04:25 (ten years ago) link
Hahaha the end is my favorite.
― carl agatha, Monday, 17 March 2014 11:04 (ten years ago) link
The other day when I came home:
K: No! Daddy to go!Me: Why?K: Daddy to go home!Me: This is home, I live here.K: Daddy to go to office and buy money.Me: You want me to go to the office?K: And buy money. Money. Money.Me: Why?K: Money! I want money this weekend!
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 March 2014 14:04 (ten years ago) link
she has a point
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 17 March 2014 18:11 (ten years ago) link
K: daddy, here is a beautiful picture of you and me from the dance we went to! *presents cute picture of us dressed up, in popsicle frame, and 2 daisies*Me: that's so nice! thanks for sharing, and the flowers!K: when you die, i'm going to put it by your coffin, i love it!Me: ok, i hope that's a long time from now.K: oh, yeah, i hope you live to 123 years old.Me: that's a long time...K: yeah but with the picture, i'll remember you.
― a nation filled with lead (Hunt3r), Thursday, 20 March 2014 02:49 (ten years ago) link
Hahahahaha
― ljubljana, Thursday, 20 March 2014 11:49 (ten years ago) link