your terrible ideas

Xtian female rapper called sweary swagdalene

also you need a staple remover that says "hold still...hold still... i've got it... ok, it's out" to go along with

Christian Rock play on "A Man Needs a Maid" called "A Man Needs A God"

I was thinkin that I would get a God
find a church nearby for him to stay

zx_:
cuture jameing

getting an operation to be a satient 12yo xomyn

internet gameshow called "King of the Typos" where 3 ppl are given phrases and are tasked to doctor them to contain the best possible typos

no drugs........... need u 2 hijack a truck
[9:08pm] don_corleone:
vcrs
[9:08pm] don_corleone:
dvds
[9:08pm] zx_:
ya sure
[9:08pm] zx_:
get a c row bar
[9:08pm] don_corleone:
35 65
[9:08pm] zx_:
knock da muddafukka aut
[9:08pm] zx_:
take da ngaz keys
[9:08pm] zx_:
lockem in da seat n drop m n da laek
[9:08pm] zx_:
ride off
[9:08pm] zx_:
lol
[9:08pm] wat:
lol
[9:08pm] don_corleone:
is that a rap
[9:09pm] zx_:
\n
[9:09pm] zx_:
mb
[9:09pm] delmino left the chat room. (emoquit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[9:09pm] zx_:
i am unconscious
[9:09pm] zx_:
people say i am MAD!
[9:09pm] zx_:
MAD!
[9:09pm] don_corleone:
u gotta wear a suit or a track suit
[9:09pm] delmino joined the chat room.
[9:09pm] plum:
to wear a top, and i want it
[9:09pm] zx_:
or a story rap
[9:09pm] zx_:
sittin on a stool
[9:09pm] zx_:
tellin a friccen rap like that
[9:09pm] delmino left the chat room. (emoquit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[9:09pm] zx_:
like it's wise & real
[9:10pm] don_corleone:
whens the album gonna drop
[9:10pm] zx_:
dats how a nga ro
[9:10pm] zx_:
shortly
[9:10pm] zx_:
aborting me courtly
[9:10pm] zx_:
take a nga down like ive cordially dort d
[9:11pm] zx_:
to and fro deez ngaz on m rock
[9:11pm] zx_:
drop a mothafukken lock
[9:11pm] zx_:
put a nga on a chain an takem 2 brock
[9:11pm] MaDCoW:
zx_ wut
[9:11pm] MaDCoW:
o nvm
[9:11pm] zx_:
im jokn
[9:11pm] zx_:
\
[9:12pm] zx_:
jerk off with ya spit
[9:12pm] zx_:
take a bite of ha lung
[9:12pm] zx_:
mayo out da jar and tina fey watchin me
[9:12pm] zx_:
ism just botchelin me
[9:13pm] zx_:
strait up my gait rough-hewn
[9:13pm] zx_:
i drop my trousers at my hip and u can catch a pistol-whip
[9:13pm] zx_:
punkin u shrunkly
[9:13pm] zx_:
make a nga small like i proachin him drunkly
[9:13pm] zx_:
im ya uncle murda
[9:14pm] zx_:
im the monkey's turdel
[9:14pm] zx_:
ne 1 hu watchin me know that i'm SQUIRTLE!!
[9:14pm] zx_:
HMMM
[9:14pm] zx_:
THAT"S A WEIRD RAP
[9:14pm] zx_:
I am MAD!
[9:14pm] zx_:
Posessed by the voice of a MADMAN!
[9:15pm] zx_:
call m nga brr via registad mail paypal n shit
[9:15pm] zx_:
she sen me ha px fa 20 usd
[9:15pm] zx_:
hallain at timecop m ng on the heli forum -rc
[9:15pm] zx_:
ya dat muddafukkin zx_
[9:15pm] zx_:
he say 2 m
[9:15pm] zx_:
fuck all da ngaz i neva knew like vxp
[9:15pm] zx_:
scad uh m shadow
[9:16pm] zx_:
lokin on da block like a scaecro
[9:16pm] zx_:
killin ngaz wit m fukkin hand
[9:16pm] zx_:
drop a block on a muddafukkin slow bitch like a fukken yogic genie
[9:16pm] wat:
all bad teammates are fukken artists
[9:16pm] zx_:
throw m ass in da lamp n call a muddafukka a weinie
[9:16pm] plum:
my ass out of sg
[9:17pm] zx_:
ill knock a nga hed off his body if he don liek th loc n m eye
[9:17pm] wat:
the law here nga wtf
[9:17pm] zx_:
ill drop a nga on a muddafukken next nga fa reasons of illuminatic futures
[9:17pm] brr:
lol
[9:18pm] zx_:
im straight up out m muddafukken myndstt3
[9:18pm] zx_:
np carrie french brrip

A spoof of the movie 'Scream' called 'Hot Drinks'. In the opening scene we see the young, blonde housesitter at home with the curtains open looking out onto the darkened lawn outside. The phone rings:
Housesitter: Hello?
Phone Voice: Why don't you wanna talk to me?
Housesitter: Who is this?
Phone Voice: You tell me your name, I'll tell you mine.
Housesitter: I don't think so.
Phone Voice: What's that noise?
Housesitter: The kettle
Phone Voice: You're making a hot drink?
Housesitter: Uh huh.
Phone Voice: Really, what?
Housesitter: Oh, just a hot drink.
Phone Voice: Do you like hot drinks?
Housesitter: Uh huh.
Phone Voice: What's your favourite hot drink?
Housesitter: I dunno.
Phone Voice: You have to have a favourite, what comes to mind?
etc...

sounds like a scary movie

series of detective novels with st paul as the lead character, solving crimes on his travels.

Strengths
• Fun to write? Research early Christianity, throw in lots of crazy first century stuff
• 'interesting' in a slightly hazy way. Sex! Where would that fit?
• Good main character, kind of a maverick wandering from town to town.

Weaknesses
• Can't write detective fiction, have almost no knowledge of genre, only like Chandler tbh (mitigate: steal plots and structure)
• Would probably want to put too much research in, ends up as dog's dinner.
• Time-consuming (mitigate: do not decide you need to learn aramaic, hebrew, latin, etc to do this 'properly')
• Horrible main character, religious fanatic, awful views on most stuff (mitigate: some kind of villain messing with his letters?)

Opportunities
• Large Christian market. $$$/£££, even at £0.49, including free wireless delivery via amazon whispernet

Threats
• Angry Christians who don't like eg visions of Christ appearing to give Paul clues, Paul/Thecla sexual tension.
• Has someone done this already? Sort of thing that seems like it could already be an entire genre

Action:
More research needed, post to terrible ideas thread for time being.

great idea!

woof, there is The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ - not exactly the same thing but the whole 'messing with the letters' thing goes on a bit.

Thank you! More stuff to mine. I'd be aiming for much pulpier than Pullman, so I will not add that to threats. It'd be more like the Jane Austen Mysteries or something.

visions of Christ appearing to give Paul clues

lol plz write this

LOLed at same thing. I think these could be very successful. Much as I like the idea as-is, you could also downgrade the research, camp it up, and do it as a series of 'wacky' graphic novels.

(Thinking also though of sth like Name of the Rose - mystery infused with exotic old-school Catholic material. I think the 'crazy first-century stuff' is perhaps the most intriguing part of the premise.)

CHRIST: my time here is short paul but you must follow the tracks of the ass

PAUL: jesus wait, what ass? what tracks?

CHRIST: . . . tracks of. . . the ass . . .

saul heard the voices of the mara and slayed all the ppl in the town. that's a real nga f u ax m

maran polatikken

http://ctflab.mae.cornell.edu/images/photos/modules.png

amon join gorf us / chats

am0n

join gorf us

gorf on dolf

how do i join

http://clinicaltrials.gov/

A comedy troupe called The Slapstick Society.

St Paul Mysteries update:

you could also downgrade the research, camp it up, and do it as a series of 'wacky' graphic novels.

Yesterday a friend suggested a TV variant with Paul as "basically Gandalf: he's a wandering wizard, engaged in eternal battle with the forces of evil", like a heavy-on-the-cgi Xena kind of thing.

He also pointed out I could have St Barnabas as Paul's sidekick.

I think I will stick with detective-mystery though, partly because I agree with your assessment Dr Casino - Name of the Rose -> 1st century strangeness is most interesting bit of it.

Upgrading to 'OK idea', going to read some commercially successful historical detective fiction.

wandering wiz biz cld be a Crime-Solving Christ spin-off series, with the sermon on the mount as a round-up of the usual suspects etc

If adapted for TV, skip the CGI and just turn it into a "Highway to Heaven" type thing. Rock-bottom budget, just shuffling around Europe and Asia Minor converting people and solving the small problems of guest stars of the week.

murder, he preached

haha yes, just film it in 1 dirt cheap place, Moldova having to stand in for Ephesus, Antioch, Rome, etc.

"Of course, because our faith is forbidden, it would be impossible for me to enter the city itself! This woodland lean-to is the only church our god requires."

jesudunnit

zx_:
memes are verboten
[03:10am] zx_:
fgt

am0n i thot u wwr irc kin mb im mistaken fox3 but i thot u was in arabs ps arabs

im not in arab ps arabs and havent been on irc in yrs but maybe i should join

Corner the market in Frank Thomas rookie cards by buying them all up cheap on eBay

maybe...

Xi Ash urinate in ur chair, it's good for planting urself in front of ur computer until u duy of thirst, and have feces rotting ur bum, to learn c++ very well. this is m future, u have 4 days 2 live, unless u r near the sink, then urinate in the sink, or save it to drink if u r going to perish of thirstiness, but god may abandon his plan,
13 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Xi Ash hold ur urine
13 hours ago · Like · 1

Xi Ash hold ur pee and urinate in ur underwaer ru ur vagin and insert ur fist into ur bum a speck of feces will appear in ur hand, lick it after u have asexually performed this action for a golden shower from justen biber, this is a scene from an alternate back to the future 2 it wa sooo weir. i cnt rmmbr wr i sw t
13 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Xi Ash biber will be getting off but u may kill him and roast his botty
13 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Xi Ash he is fastidiously consumeed by a group of dadfucker types, he represents bzb
13 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Xi Ash an unlovely communist
13 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Xi Ash lie on ur floor urinate inside ur pants, scratch ur pants w ur fingers until you become uncomfortable-feeling, with a razor in ur other hand. as soon as u begin 2 cum cut a line across ur stomach and masturbate with the blood, insert ur hand into ur bu...See More
12 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Xi Ash save ur fecal matter a a brick and mk sure it becomes rocken hard and place it on a high shelf. there has been seuprestition reguarding cake in this matter in england, so this is a counter-practise.. u may invade the house or mynde of a practiscioner of PIE-legacy house-magick.. it is unwise tew cross them, though you may engaege in intercourse, or conversation
12 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Xi Ash you may be considered a slight bit of a puzzler, or smartmouth. beware that they are unwise tew crosse
12 hours ago · Unlike · 3

i was just coming here to post that

I like the phrase 'a group of dadfucker types'

im gonna puke my pants

* reboot of Grumpy Old Men franchise starring new crop of actors, with the limp meta-gag that in today's looks-obsessed Hollywood of disposable celebrity no suitable leads can be found. Everybody in the movie is in their forties or early fifties. Maybe they're not really grumpy either.

i was just coming here to post that

lobster pots for children

(was just in the park and there was a kid stuck on top of the rope net climbing frame - easy to get up, not so easy to get down. and i thought, why not make this a feature?)

A Jingle Cats-esque album of horses whinnying Bowie songs called Stallion To Stallion.

I lol'd

hahaha

would be a great late-career move for nabisco's concept-band STEED.

a rapid-assignation interpreter
[2:34pm] mdzn:
.feed
[2:34pm] nomnomcat:
nom nom 1 times nom nom moar nom
[2:40pm] mdzn:
.feed :3
[2:40pm] o_O:
:3
[2:40pm] nomnomcat:
nom nom 2 times nom nom moar nom
[2:47pm] lapnay joined the chat room.
[3:04pm] zx_:
03 m5-1 o2o -gk4 = a[ l4 f0 2= q[ m6p =q ; 4 == 2q04q p q[- t9 q[ ;rkq a903 [a -4 2 w9g 2=0 =20 ;4lk a094 j2n ;a - gjap 3n z; 93- s lj t;4 0 ;p9w a- 2; kfm s8 3o; f092 -52 kt;s mla o4 g089 280 15- jg; djn ah3p
[3:04pm] zx_:
aphid
[3:05pm] zx_:
touch u all
[3:05pm] zx_:
as an asexualmolestation with the correct over and under-tones
[3:05pm] zx_:
with an eeevil smile
[3:05pm] zx_:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/20/Acyrthosiphon_pisum_(pea_aphid)-PLoS.jpg
[3:06pm] zx_:
PLoS
[3:06pm] zx_:
lol
[3:06pm] doc_tuna:
what
[3:06pm] zx_:
Acyrothosiphon pisum
[3:06pm] doc_tuna:
i dont get it
[3:06pm] doc_tuna:
zx_: are you a bot
[3:06pm] zx_:
hu car
[3:06pm] doc_tuna:
hu car
[3:06pm] wat:
hu
[3:06pm] doc_tuna:
hu
[3:06pm] zx_:
i get it from afar in a dif script
[3:07pm] zx_:
ToUCH-SCReeM
[3:07pm] zx_:
h8ang
[3:07pm] zx_:
angha
[3:07pm] zx_:
u guys eva exp angha
[3:07pm] zx_:
guize i shod sae
[3:07pm] zx_:
it p dec
[3:07pm] zx_:
im superfast
[3:08pm] zx_:
impossible to get inside the palasmit
[3:08pm] zx_:
plasma
[3:08pm] zx_:
butttt
[3:08pm] zx_:
thnk abt it
[3:08pm] zx_:
\u got glass
[3:08pm] zx_:
a plasmic array or w/e
[3:08pm] zx_:
and mental make-up fields
[3:08pm] zx_:
lo
[3:08pm] zx_:
ez as pi3
[3:09pm] zx_:
so long as ur not havin a bad trip
[3:09pm] zx_:
it' a dec haluciatn environ
[3:09pm] zx_:
as i m haven a bad trip
[3:09pm] zx_:
lol i boght a coffe from starbux
[3:09pm] zx_:
i bought starbucks buying a coffe
[3:09pm] zx_:
lol
[3:10pm] zx_:
taths m kn of halucinatn

Starting a hashtag for Goran Dragic: #dragicworldview