Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

amen, every aspect of pedantic music trivia conversations tend to make me feel embarrassed, whether I'm part of the conversation or just an unwilling witness

I'm only willing to engage in this way if I feel comfortable that the other people in the conversation are equally excited about music nerdery

Yeah, part of what's embarrassing is the immaturity of it, and part of it is as a subset of the larger trait of being oblivious to what would or wouldn't be interesting to the person you're talking to.

If by "witnessed" you mean "lived...over and over and over."

― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, December 17, 2013 11:48 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol, I'm so sorry, I feel like I finally understand now

:D

** makes mental note not to talk about Star Wars if he ever attends a FAP **

I feel like terror of being one these people is a big part of what puts me off having conversations with people/socialising.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kjoUjOHjPI#t=18

I'm an overexplainer myself and I like to learn things, so early on with someone sometimes I'm like, "Keep going. I may or may not be kind of laughing at you but it's nice to see you feeling smart/in your element" which tbh is how I would like my over-explaining to be perceived by a loved one: fondly. But over time you see that it never goes both ways.

From my perspective it's fine as long as you can catch and laugh at yourself! And accept being laughed at when you misstep, and join in, and also let it be the other person's turn too.

That family video is horrifying. Jesus.

That family video is horrifying Jesus.

"Keep going. I may or may not be kind of laughing at you but it's nice to see you feeling smart/in your element"
omg girl someone says ^^^ to me = total nightmare!! it's more or less what that guy was doing when i was talking about my drums and it made me feel enraged!

also i don't think casually talking about music or art you like is immature -- behaving in a thoughtless way (por ejemplo going on when the person you are talking to is visibly bored) -- is immature.

xpost

the actual jammies are probably the least embarrassing aspect of that video.

right exactly.

I'm a recovering overexplainer myself. TBF I also really like asking people about their things and trying to understand them - e.g. I ask H a ton of questions about her school and the way the classroom runs and the politics of the school and ed policy, I find it all fascinating.

xp Welllll I like to think it's different when done with love and acceptance of the whole person, as opposed to seeing them as some kind of object/pwecious tweasure. But I know you hate that.

OTOH I've pretty much given up on trying to discuss the intricacies of my work with her. I think they'd bore most people outside the legal or financial worlds tbh. Even bore me a lot of the time.

Yes, there is nothing interesting about me describing what I do for a living and I feel sorry for anyone who tries to get into that conversation with me.

Then again, I have an aunt who got it into her head that I'm the "IT guy" at my work and get endless calls from people needing help fixing their computers, which is extremely far from the truth, but she kept asking me at Thanksgiving if I was getting pestered with IT calls. Didn't have the heart to say "nope, that's not at all what I do for a living."

Ha, when people ask me about my job, I literally say, "It's really boring and we're better off discussing something YOU want to talk about."

I try to play up the *point* of what I do, which has a semi public interest bent to it even though it's for profit. But I don't like overplaying that either, because it feels self-aggrandizing, and ultimately we're still a business.

If I was CEO of JPM that'd be my strategy as well.

yeah, the point of what I do is pretty zzzzzzzzz....

Christmas cards that are those newsletter type updates on what's been happening with the family for the last year make me irrationally embarrassed

btw that video that Tracer posted is not innocuous at all, all four of those people should be on the guillotine, yes the kids included

The holderness family is like kinda fun but mostly braggin

I feel so sorry for those kids, especially the girl as she looks like she's just about old enough to realise that her role here is to be laughed at in patronising way, but not old enough to tell her parents to get tae fuck.

Ha, when people ask me about my job, I literally say, "It's really boring and we're better off discussing something YOU want to talk about."

OMG somebody at a party asked me (I thought sincerely) about workers' comp law so I told her alllll about it and she for real said, "I have to go talk to somebody about something now" and walked away from me like mid sentence.

Professions kind of have their own languages, and after you spend years learning the language you kind of forget that you are speaking a language not everyone speaks.

Also, boring.

I really like hearing details about what other people's jobs. Like how do mail routes work? What is the lingo? What does an operations manager at a financial firm actually do on a typical day? What constitutes a good day or bad day for him or her? What is the lingo?

A friend of mine became a USPS delivery person, and I only asked him, oh, about 9000 questions about his job until finally he was all, look, I'd really like to watch this Super Bowl game now, ok?

I was working hard to make my discussion accessible and not dork out too much. She was just being polite when she asked and didn't actually want to hear about it. I'm usually really good at picking up on how people want to converse but I missed her signals completely.

xp me, too, actually. I ask cab drivers about their work arrangements all the time. I think it comes from being an L&E lawyer (though I think I was drawn to L&E bc I've always been fascinated with work).

That was also one of my fave things about my comp job - learning about people's jobs. Like did you know there is a manufacturing concern in central IL that just makes lids for various beverage containers? And a job someone has is to QA those lids.

xxp I bet I can talk to you about digital marketing and the newswire industry for up to 45 seconds before you wander away uninterested. Nobody can make this stuff interesting, and if they can, I fear for their immortal souls.

I'd appreciate five minutes on it, I think.

That was also one of my fave things about my comp job - learning about people's jobs. Like did you know there is a manufacturing concern in central IL that just makes lids for various beverage containers?

I DO know this and maybe we talked about it? I had to deal with someone at that (or similar?) company for work. Our work lives intersected at a lids concern.

one of the things I've learned as an adult is that when people are enthusiastic about something, it is much more interesting to hear them speak about it. so if someone enjoys their job or family or whatever, it might be worth your time to converse about it because the enthusiasm is what makes the conversation a lot more than the topic

people who are enthusiastic and lucid about something i have little interest in are sometimes the best! i find listening to people like that incredibly relaxing, somehow.

innocuous things that make you irrationally chill

people who are enthusiastic and lucid about something i have little interest in are sometimes the best! i find listening to people like that incredibly relaxing, somehow.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, December 17, 2013 1:22 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That sounds great! Let me tell you about someone I'm enthusiastic about - Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Haha -- mmmm tell me more about configuring Bloomberg software while I rest my eyes.

xp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6TeDM-wlZ4

<3 BB

so I was just perusing Facebook and I saw that a friend of a friend posted the very same Xmas Jammies video and that my friend commented on it "Now that's a MILF!!!!!"

So add one more layer of embarassment onto this whole debacle.

and of course there's the generalized level of embarassment for humanity at large...

lol

she is kinda ws of shame tbf

I kind of wanted to post a mean comment on it on youtube, but idk, it's still some dude's family video. Would feel too icky.

plus he's an ilxor, we gotta stand by him

wait...really?