"tonight, he sleeps with the finches"
― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Monday, 16 December 2013 11:52 (ten years ago) link
"no need to get in a flap"
― conrad, Monday, 16 December 2013 13:50 (ten years ago) link
Did the boss say "he's dead or us" or "he's Daedalus?"
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 16 December 2013 14:42 (ten years ago) link
LG for the win
― wee knights of the round table (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 December 2013 14:43 (ten years ago) link
Mark and LG nailed.
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 16 December 2013 14:43 (ten years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2014/01/20/p465/140120_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Tuesday, 14 January 2014 00:18 (ten years ago) link
"It only hurts when I laugh."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 14 January 2014 00:44 (ten years ago) link
Excellent
― is this semi-amateurism? (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 01:03 (ten years ago) link
"Who are you and what have you done with Hamburglar?"
― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 12:39 (ten years ago) link
"If you're Mary Palm, where are your five sisters?"
― time is a train that make the future flag post (snoball), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 13:40 (ten years ago) link
"This isn't an island, it's a giant oyster."
― time is a train that make the future flag post (snoball), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 13:41 (ten years ago) link
It's be funnier the other way around: "I only laugh when it hurts."
― Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 13:41 (ten years ago) link
Clown: "Well I always give my clients a happy finish."
― time is a train that make the future flag post (snoball), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 13:42 (ten years ago) link
"Seriously, take a good look at my face"
― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 14:26 (ten years ago) link
"Are you Severin?"
― time is a train that make the future flag post (snoball), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 14:34 (ten years ago) link
"Well, there are plenty more fish in the sea, Mildred."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 14 January 2014 14:43 (ten years ago) link
"Silvio's out. I'm Beppe."
― Øystein, Tuesday, 14 January 2014 17:15 (ten years ago) link
"If only I had enough balloons to make you a heart."
― Øystein, Tuesday, 14 January 2014 17:17 (ten years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2014/05/12/p465/140512_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 14:53 (nine years ago) link
"when I asked you to leave the door open for a while I meant the oven door"
― conrad, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 15:06 (nine years ago) link
"The body of Christ, the bread of heaven."
― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 15:08 (nine years ago) link
"you knew we were running low on ammo and now you've used up the last of the eggs too"
― conrad, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 15:16 (nine years ago) link
"more flies with honey, dear."
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 15:22 (nine years ago) link
arms in the foreground seem to suggest this is from the zombie's perspective?
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 15:24 (nine years ago) link
"Hon, next Sunday let's just watch Walking Dead by ourselves. This cosplay thing is getting out of hand."
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 16:37 (nine years ago) link
"Quick, help me ruin their appetite."
― anonanon, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 17:42 (nine years ago) link
Winner.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 20:28 (nine years ago) link
"Psst... the secret ingredient is BRAINS"
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 20:31 (nine years ago) link
movie night of the living dead
― james lipton and his francs (darraghmac), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 20:32 (nine years ago) link
"paleo at 10 o'clock, pair of gluten-frees on your two and three"
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:31 (nine years ago) link
And the completely rub finalists:
"Let's hope for some nut allergies." "But first an amuse-bouche?" "I like that we're not trapped in traditional gender roles."
― Mark G, Tuesday, 20 May 2014 14:36 (nine years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2014/05/26/p465/140526_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Tuesday, 20 May 2014 14:37 (nine years ago) link
open door punchline (get it out of the way now)
"Yes, I do have a tiny pianist, why do you ask?"
I asked for a 12 inch *violinist*
― woy wogers (darraghmac), Tuesday, 20 May 2014 14:39 (nine years ago) link
XP obv
― woy wogers (darraghmac), Tuesday, 20 May 2014 14:40 (nine years ago) link
"This is Risque Escort Services? I have a complaint."
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 May 2014 14:50 (nine years ago) link
"Cancel the hamster; I'll just need the tube, thanks."
― Øystein, Tuesday, 20 May 2014 17:57 (nine years ago) link
"Yes, is this room service?"
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 20 May 2014 18:10 (nine years ago) link
"If I tip him a quarter, would that be an insult or would that be like a major bounty to his people? 'Cause I don't want to over-tip."
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 20 May 2014 18:28 (nine years ago) link
i imagine the lil guy as a tom toles/kelly self-insert (can't think of a caption, tho)
― mohawk ororoducer (abanana), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 02:33 (nine years ago) link
whats the point in me being here if youre just going to talk on the phone
― conrad, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 08:18 (nine years ago) link
"hello, do you know there's a tiny man with a miniature piano in my room?"
"you hum it, son, i'll play it."
― estela, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 08:48 (nine years ago) link
:)
― coign of wantage (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 08:51 (nine years ago) link
I think it's by Hoagy Carmichael.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 09:44 (nine years ago) link
wow this room is deceptively enormous
― the only thing worse than being tweeted about (darraghmac), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 11:05 (nine years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2014/06/02/p465/140602_contest_p465.jpg"Ah, come on.. Everybody's worked at McDonalds at least once!"
― Mark G, Monday, 2 June 2014 09:54 (nine years ago) link
"Yeah i feel like assless chaps are gonna be big this year"
― Misandry Rooney (Noodle Vague), Monday, 2 June 2014 10:04 (nine years ago) link
"That's an interesting septum piercing"
― Misandry Rooney (Noodle Vague), Monday, 2 June 2014 10:06 (nine years ago) link
"...and I'm saying it was a work"
― Misandry Rooney (Noodle Vague), Monday, 2 June 2014 10:09 (nine years ago) link
yes that is indeed a photo of your mom in a red towel
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 2 June 2014 10:51 (nine years ago) link