Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I'd like to note that I made the coffee today and it's bangin'. I feel like putting up instructions.

ancient, creaky messanger dude: "simon, did you get that package i left on kathleen's desk yesterday?"
me: "er, no. why would i have done?"
ancient, creaky messanger dude: "it was addressed to mark. and said urgent."
me: "so you left it on kathleen's desk?"
ancient, creaky messanger dude: "it had her name on it too."
me: "but it was addressed to mark?"
ancient, creaky messanger dude: "yes, it said urgent."
me: "and you left it on her desk some 24 hours ago?"
ancient, creaky messanger dude: "yes."
me: "but she's on holiday." [rustles on desk under enormous pile of mail; produces package.]
ancient, creaky messanger dude: "that's it!"
me: "right. shall i give it to mark, who's sitting over there at his desk?"
ancient, creaky messanger dude: "ok."

see, we mac users have this fantastic "copy and paste" function :p

(the original was actually sent to yr boyf, and contained the name of said old messenger dude. quite why i felt the need to spare his blushes, i don't know.)

My friend emailed me saying "at least I don't have a stinkyman in the office" He looked at the email then looked away quickly and went to make tea. I emailed her back telling her he was sitting with me and to send a similiar email that didn't allude to him (ingenius I thought, I could leave that open and he'd think he'd misread it) so she obliged, sending a new email saying "at least I don't have a stinkyman next door" - not much of an improvement but still.

Two minutes later she sent through another email with bold red letters - "HEY STINKY STOP READING HER EMAILS"

He read it. He smiled shyly. I beamed red. I had to sit with him for a further hour too scared to open anymore emails, too pathetic to say anything to him. Now I'm scared he won't come back tomorrow.

So I'M the stupid, annoying co-worker and I feel like fucking shit.

Is there some sort of cult behind the "office chair balls?" At the last place I worked, at least a half-dozen people had those infernal things.

Madchen, do you work in my office? I've got one of them! She is part of the reason I am leaving. I sent her an email saying "has Mark done [what I was expecting him to do]". She emailed back to say "no, James (sic) dint (sic) do it yet". She is responsible for all external correspondence from her branch. SHE WAS ALSO GIVEN THE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH AWARD LAST MONTH despite potentially losing the company £2k+ of hard earned money (which my noseying about her work managed to save due to grovelling and apologising and rectifying in my own time).

mwoo-hah! o god, that's joyously funny. and look on the bright side: if he doesn't come back, no more whiffage.

its dumb

This other tech - we call him Uncle Arthur (after the comedy show character) - is good, but so slow and noodly about his work. It took me half an hour to get him to enter 3 IP addresses in his laptops LAN settings, and the damn thing still wouldnt log into the router we were setting up. Then after all that, and him rambling away like a senile old man, he suddenly exclaims "oh ho wait a minute - I havent put the ethernet card into my laptop!! That would do it". *bangs head on desk*.

He then had the nerve to charge us for an extra hour and a half of work! We knew what he'd done though so he'll get his.

I hate this job.

I'd be able to get a new job easily. The catch is what KIND. I dont wanna go thru what I just went through all over again :(

SIGN ON THE DAY AFTER YOU QUIT, TRAYCE!

"you may feel a slight sting. That's pride, fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."

Word, Marsellus.

xpost - just don't tell them you quit! tell them you got made redundant, or reached the end of your contract or whatever.

I contemplated asking her if she was Angus Deayton, but thought better of it.

Shit, if he complains my ass is grass.

how? you have veritas on your side. he honks. end of story. complain about him first, just to be on the safe side :)

Surely he won't complain, what would he say?

"I stink of b.o and she was discussing it?"

i still bear the olfactory scars from a geography teacher who honked to high heaven, and therefore appreciate rumpie's dilemma.

More than once, our team leader sent out an email saying "guys (and I mean GUYS) - wash and use deoderant or I'll start NAMING NAMES".

Shoot me, hang me, whatever.