rolling thread for chronicling the misadventures of dwight howard, nba center

dwight only wised up because his energy was flagging

plus if you're 6'9 and burn 5000 calories in a couple hours every other day not to mention practices you are probably hungry 24/7 and steaming some rice and broccoli is kinda a hassle really if you want McDonald's and it's around the corner

He knew nothing about how to train and get his wind up, even what and how to eat before a game. Once [Bulls trainer] Chip Schaefer had a pregame meal with him and was stunned to watch Kukoc put away a seven-course meal including salad, pasta, and steak.

“A sure four-thousand-calorie meal,” Schaefer noted later, almost admiringly. Like many European players, he was accustomed to drinking wine with his pregame meal, even if he did water it slightly. His body fat when he arrived was about 20 percent, very high for the NBA. Eventually, the Bulls got it down to the mid-teens, which was pretty good for Kukoc.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/steve-kerr-reminisces-toni-kukoc-legendarily-massive-pre-124610897--nba.html

if i was making millions a year i'd be paying someone to come in and cook.

I'd probably be getting pecan pie delivered to my penthouse every day because I am obscenely rich

otm

http://gifs.com/2r2

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mMJSZm-Ppkw/UruijwN2NEI/AAAAAAAAAq4/e4DRJtBAQqE/s1600/hardendwight.gif

haha

http://msn.foxsports.com/southwest/story/dwight-howard-trolls-lebron-james-and-his-receding-hairline-040214

dwight howard is into image macro memes

of course

http://rockets.clutchfans.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/dwight-howard-portland-series.jpg

i wonder if his performance in this series + the lillard dagger to win is the turning point where dwight becomes a sympathetic figure.

probably not tho b/c he is such a relentless cornball.

He made his free throws in 4.5 of the 6 games.

http://l1.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/ubTGF9tHAj0lL4thbjHd4A--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTI5NDtweW9mZj0wO3E9Njk7dz00NjA-/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/ap_webfeeds/dcd29df3514c1a26610f6a706700ea89.jpg

he is the worst human

guess who brought a gun to the airport

Garrison Keillor?

Rick Perry?

barry switzer?

Joe Schlabotnik?

oh sorry guys aimless got it, it was the governor of texas rick perry

the girl who convinced her boyfriend to kill himself?

it was actually amanda palmer and jonathan chait sorry i had some bad info

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31v3dSgOo9L._SY300_.jpg

why did d11 skip to d13?

because fuck d12

Send him to Sacramento, imo

thats really where he needs to be. or the knicks

adam silver gotta make this happen

what wld really be ideal is... the nets, but they have lopez

but why let that stop u u know

twin injury prone immobile centers would be an amazing experiment

basically stick one on either end of the floor and they dont move the whole game. they dont even come into the locker room at halftime, then they switch roles by virtue of changing sides.

play them both 40 mpg and they dont break a sweat

didnt vivek have that plan for the kings

yesssss

i have no idea how this wasnt a tech

http://i.imgur.com/WJAHYvk.gif

the ball stuck to his hand

hahah

Will his health hold up, specifically a back that was surgically repaired in 2012 (he also missed 52 games in his first two seasons in Houston with a variety of ailments, mostly knee)?

“My back hasn’t been an issue, and I don’t think I’ll ever have an issue out of my back for the rest of my career,” he said without pause.

good luck with that

http://i.imgur.com/senGFZJ.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/senGFZJ.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/senGFZJ.gif

https://sports.yahoo.com/dwight-howard-spent-sunday-trading-insults-teens-twitter-193535289.html

lol @ dwight spending an afternoon zinging children on twitter dot com

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGUgEAWUIAQn0jw.jpg

one of the more mortifying humans

https://atrl.net/uploads/emoticons/ace.gif

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lmaaaaooo

On his latest Podcast, ESPN.com’s Zach Lowe said he said heard stories of:

“Hawks players learning about the trade and screaming with jubilation into their phones…

“You ask why, and one account was that Dwight would give these speeches before the game about how everyone is playing hard, we want unity, we’re going to… and then go out and play like a blah game where he demands post touches and doesn’t rotate as hard as he could. And everyone is like, ‘Why are you speaking in the locker room?’ But that’s all anecdotal. It’s just crazy how these stories come out after every stop in his career.”

https://media.tenor.com/images/c29042655e00a197ecaa837c771575b3/tenor.gif

i have questions, dwight pic.twitter.com/cNdM8jGJLU

— josh (@HoopPlusTheHarm) November 25, 2017

what is Dwight gonna do after he retires other than get his pitch rejected by tnt