pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Also I like terrible puns.

I hate filling out the second part with all the personal info. I just realized I'm an alcoholic who never leaves the house.

auto-complete for Best New Artist should draw from artists created in our database since Nov. 2012 (which won't be perfect since some older artists were created since then).

not just spit, but "hooker spit," which should give you a window into the tension, claustrophobia, and foulness that infect Morelli's music.

Jamie Stewart is angry https://twitter.com/XiuXiuforLife/status/410659620605001728

daffy cunt prob my favorite disney character, but there really are so many

jfc daffy duck is not even disney, i should go to sleep

I like the idea of a pissed-off tweet by Jamie Stewart about a review leading you down a Daffy Duck Wikipedia hole.

he would find ways to circumvent twitter's limitations and find modes of expression to suit his tweet, no doubt

The Lucksmiths -- Cartography for Beginners: A Best of the Lucksmiths

...wry lyrics about various shades of emotional ache, featuring the kind of wordplay that tends to come from people who can both define "zeugma" and provide an example

Yes! Spot on. I love it.

("I can't see the florist for the flowers/ And I can't see the point in hanging 'round.")

What? No, terrible example. You've ruined it. Totally ruined. Now this is some motherfucking zeugma:

Though you kept me guessing and your distance
Were it not for my persistence
We would never have been lovers
You kept your distance and me guessing
Finally acquiescing only after I’d discovered
You kept the things I sent you
The lengths I went to

Cool I didn't know there was a collection out

Idk what zeugma is

farmville

http://pitchfork.com/features/staff-lists/9307-most-anticipated-releases-of-2014

I guess the black metal honeymoon is over?

(ps new Wolves in the Throne Room album this year)

list makes Rolling Stone look like Bananafish

wow that feature is terrible. 50% of the "anticipated releases" are basically like "no details have been announced yet, but it's not unlikely that there could be an album from this esteemed artist!"

"this artist released a remix and a single in 2013. who knows, they could drop an album in 2014!"

lol

also, Glass Candy on there proving the old 'go away long enough and return a big star with a long-awaited new album' axiom still the law of the land. Should we call that Magnum's Law or Shields' Law?

the clipse one is particularly good..."Pusha T teased it...but then he said it actually wasn't happening so it must be happening"

Magnum's Law

http://076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com/images/files/000/003/210/original/original.jpg

Looks like they've given up hope on The Avalanches releasing a new album at this point.

yeah the Clipse one is funny because like...why not just put Pusha T on the list?

'Records we really hope we will be out for the sake of our publication'

also i feel like kanye was somehow related to way too many of those. i'm sick of hearing about kanye, now for the past 10+ years

is detox on the list?

Looks like they've given up hope on The Avalanches releasing a new album at this point.

― MarkoP, Friday, January 17, 2014 10:58 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yet they mention The Wrens

i don't expect to get a record from either this year but i do think a new wrens album is likelier than a new avalanches one

Maybe 3 years ago I looked at ILM every day when I woke up and I used to say to myself that any day when this thread was not bumped + I did not have blood in my urine was a good day.

― Mark, Friday, November 22, 2013 12:54 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the entire thread would read differently if the subject line was just changed to "pitchfork wisdom (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)"

― some dude, Friday, November 22, 2013 1:01 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes, and I would probably live about four months longer

― Mark, Friday, November 22, 2013 1:05 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this thread makes me sad now because of this exchange. maybe we should just cave and have the 'Rolling Pitchfork Thread' that ILM has silently crying out for for a decade?

i don't really get shitting on the anticipated albums feature--this isn't 10 years ago when everyone was on a label that had a nice release schedule for us to read.

like, in a world where one of the five biggest artists on the planet released an album completely unannounced, i think it's ok to have some fun speculating.

Outside of a Beats by Dre commercial, there’s not a lot on the record to suggest Kendrick Lamar will embark on the unenviable task of topping Pitchfork's favorite album of 2012, good kid, m.A.A.d. City. But, you do get the sense that Lamar’s competitive nature will get the best of him in 2014, as well as a sense of opportunity—speculation suggests that the rapper's label TDE will release as many as six albums this year, so prime yourselves for the takeover.

just watched that commercial for the first time and it made me worried for Kendrick's future

i'm sure kendrick is dropping an album this year

because he has a competitive nature?

like, in a world where one of the five biggest artists on the planet released an album completely unannounced, i think it's ok to have some fun speculating.

Now now. Lil B isn't THAT big.

Macklemore Says Kendrick Deserved Grammy for Best Rap Album
In a dramatic text to Kendrick Lamar, screencapped and posted on Instagram

Dramatic text

maybe he put out his own eyes with sewing needles while sending it

Way to stay ahead of the curve. Next, can we get a primer on other obscure musicians like Miles Davis?

http://pitchfork.com/features/starter/9314-john-fahey/

oh please, dude

seconded, do fuck off with stuff like this

they should do jandek

Fruit Covered Nails: A Hipster's Guide to Pavement

oh please, dude

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, January 28, 2014 10:56 AM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

seconded, do fuck off with stuff like this

― wilful brony (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 11:09 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait--so you both think Pitchfork's 'key demo' really needs another (hideously written) John Fahey primer at this point?

Serious question. Maybe I'm missing something. It doesn't help that Jas0n He!!er is, imo, consistently the weakest Pfork writer by some stretch.

you act as though we're running out of college kids who want to get into shit like john fahey.

i don't know, i'm sure that there are plenty of people in the key demo who have no idea who Fahey is. he might not seem obscure to a certain kind of music fan, but he's plenty obscure. i didn't think the write up was that bad, aside from using Sonic Youth and Sufjan in the sub hed and the "steampunk" reference.
xp

Compare this piece today with M1ke Powell's piece on new age earlier this week. P0well's piece, which sheds light on a subject that actually didn't have a star-studded documentary released about it last year, was informative, well-written, and managed to shed light on the subject in a way that appealed to both new age newjacks (guilty as charged) and deep diggers (like, who the hell is Enno Valthuys? I don't know, but now I wanna know) alike. This piece on Fahey, otoh, brings absolutely nothing new to the discussion whatsoever.

Why would you think a Fahey primer on Pitchfork would have anything new for "deep diggers" anyway? Same for anything designated as a primer? Just leave it alone, it's for those who need it.

#neckbeardproblems

i just try to imagine myself as a musically curious 15-year-old with this kinda thing -- you gotta find out about it somewhere, right?

they can learn about it on the streets same as i did