Summarise a Novel in 25 Words

Don DeLillo- "Underworld"

He speaks in your voice, American. Soon you'll wish I did.

"Ethan Frome"-Edith Wharton

In the bleak New England winter. Sledding crash scarred me and my girl for life! Now we're trapped with crazy wife and her pickle dish.

Uncle Tungsten: Memories of a Chemical Boyhood (Oliver Sacks)

I was so enthusiast about Mendeleev table, that I became a psychiatrist.

[spero suoni bene, in inglese ;o)]

James Ellroy "American Tabloid"

Or of the bramosia.

Kafka's Metamorphosis: i feel sick..everybody is an assholes and my sister has nice body.

The sun is high and I'm killing an arab. I don't know why. Like ever.

The etranger. Albert Camus

"Fermat's last theorem"- Simon Singh
Three centuries to solve the enigma

A CHRISTMAS CAROL by Charles Dickens:

No. No. No. Oh, yes alright then.

THE CANTERBURY TALES, by Geoffrey Chaucer

Lots of people fail to get to Canterbury because they spend too much time talking.

THE INVISIBLE MAN, by H G Wells

Decadent aesthete thinks that if he creates the ultimate escapist fantasy he can fight "against Nature". He's wrong.

(vide supra ;-) )

DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS by John Wyndham

Giant Walking Deadly Poisonous Plants are a Disaster, don't you know!

Dracula - Bram Stoker:

Angry customer tries to get revenge on bloodsucking parasitic Real Estate agents, fails.

Moby Dick - Herman Melville:

Bad idea. Turn back now - certain death ahead. Fine, ignore me. Splash. Aargh! Told you so.

Moby Dick:

Sail Tale
Frail man fails
pale wale prevails

Wuthering Heights - again

Oh Catherine... Oh Heathcliff. Oh Catherine... Oh Heathcliff! Oh Catherine!! OH HEATHCLIFF!!! OH CATHERINE... you get the idea.

all books by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Emancipated, intelligent woman loves a man but is hindered by religion or stupid men!

Lord of the Flies

Kids are gruesome. Fat kids are losers.

Franz Kafka - The Metamorphosis

Son wakes up, finds himself transformed into a bug, makes family life a hell, than dies. Life goes on.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

My name is Robert Jordan. I am noble. Spaniards are cool even though they curse a lot . Cowardice, though, is bad. I mean *real* bad. But -- damn! -- even noble men have to die. So I'll shag that Maria one last time.

All Terry Pratchett Rincewind Books

If you are in danger, run, it doesn't matter where you are running to. And what the hell does this luggage with feet do?

ANIMAL FARM - Orwell
Pigs smell. Badly.

THE FIRM - Grisham
Young stud goes mafia. Outsmarts everyone. Happy end.

A TIME TO KILL - Grisham
Pisshead wins courtcase.

THE HOBBIT - Tolkien
Diary of a Duke of Edinburgh Award Trip. PS: Little man finds ring

FELLOWSHIP - Tolkien
Another diary of a Duke of Edinburgh Award Trip. More Walking. PS: Little man wants to get rid of ring

TWO TOWERS - Tolkien
Wizard's condo gets flooded.

RETURN OF THE KING - Tolkien
Nutter jumps to death.

JURRASIC PARC - Crichton
Science backfires, badly.

PREY - Crichton
Science backfires, badly, again.

TIMELINE - Crichton
Don't timetravel!

BACK TO THE FUTURE 1-3
You stupid. I told you. Don't timetravel!

PARADISE AND POWER - Kagan
They are nuts, we are nuts. Yippee, let's beat up some Iraqis.

ROMEO AND JULIET - Shakespeare
Two lovers. Lots of crazy shit. Everyone dies. The End.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND
Girls gets stoned. Lots of smoke.

MATRIX
Sequel to Alice in Wonderland.

SHOGUN - James Clavell

Japan 1600. Englishman to learn japanese - else villagepeople ordered dead. Intriguenet between great emperors. Love. Everyone addicted by selfmurder and obedience.

"der spiegel" runs a story about this thread! (in german)
http://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/0,1518,294618,00.html

hi,
i just want to tell, that u got mentioned in zhe german "spiegel" (the mirrorw), one of the biggest german magazins.

http://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/0,1518,294618,00.html

thats a great idea to summarise novels in 25 words, also very funny.

thx to all of u who have found the time and the effort to contribute some summarasetion to this page.

cu

Claudio

yep... but those dimwits forgot to post a link, so i had to find it via google

BTW.. is there a "summarize a movie in 25 words" franchise? if not, it would certainly be great...

******* Science Fiction Summary ***********

William Gibson: Neuromancer

Case gets his brain repaired by AI to screw his dead girl inside the Matrix. His new girl enjoys killing people in a stylish way.
_________________________________________

Isaac Asimov: I, Robot

Computers are wonderful because the do what they're told. Humans not so.
_________________________________________

Frank Herbert: Dune

Guy goes into the desert to find he is the messiah everybody is waiting for but discovers he is unable to change anything.

Dune II: He still can't, though he is emperor of the Galaxy
Dune III: Neither can his Children, although they are superhuman.
Dune IV: His son still fails despite becoming a god.
Dune V: Sex doesn't help solving the problem.
Dune IV: Best sex in the universe, neither.

_________________________________________

The Collected Works of Robert A. Heinlein

Real Guys kick sissys around and get the chicks laid, all times ,all universes, except USA, Terra, middle of 20th century.
__________________________________________

Robert Zelazny: The Lord of Light

On a remote planet, Buddha destroys oligarchy of indian gods by allying with alien natives, freeing mankind.
__________________________________________

Larry Niven & Jerry Purnelle: Footfall

Aliens arrive in giant spaceship to conquer Earth but are beaten back by NASA-Shuttles and patriotic americans that support manned space flight.

W. Golding: Lord of the Flies

Everyone has bad thoughts, even kids. Having this emotions under control becomes important.

Erich von Däniken: Chariots of the Gods

We evolved from apes, but they were the first who flew to space.

"Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy:

She's married with the wrong man. She loves the wrong one too. She chooses the train.

Ken Follett - Eye of the Needle

I killed her. Ooops, I did it again.

"The Physicists" by Friedrich Duerrenmatt

Three physicists pretend to be nuts, who pretend to be another great physicists. They murder hospital's stuff to prove their madness. The plan fails.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Jose Arcadio Buendia, Colonel Aureliano Buendia,Ursula Iguaran, Amaranta, Remedios, Renata Remedios, Amaranta Ursula, Jose Arcadio Segundo, Aurelianox17,loads of shagging, killing, amnesia, and pigtails.

Fahrenheit 451

Man burns books, reads one, changes mind

The Heart of a dog

Dog turned into man-dog by professer,causes chaos, then turned back into dog again. Parody of Russian Revolution, and how commies are such bastards.

The Merchant of Venice

Jewish merchant makes deal, loses deal due to a bit of unfairness. oy! what a world!

Blood Hunt

Man murdered, murderer murdered by murderer's murdered man's brother. All this set in the beautiful Scottish Highlands.

All Novels by Philip K. Dick:

"Reality sucks. The 50´ies suck. I suck. They suck. We all suck."

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, by Haruki Murakami:

Likable but slightly cranky fellow´s wife gets screwed by her brother. Likable but slightly cranky fellow goes out to find his cat and screws brother.

heavy people meet light people. not even the dog survives.
- the unbearable lightness of being - milan kundera

- motherless brooklyn. jonathan lethem

boy gets to work for mobster boss. boy grows older, is a mobster. mobster boss dies. boy (now mobster) finds out who did it.

women are toys. being rude to women is cool and everything is perishable except beer.

- on the road, jack kerouac

women are toys. being rude to women is cool and everything is perishable except beer.

I got 3 new short summaries for you ;-)

Isaac Asimov - Foundation (Trilogy)

Political business-novel. Scientists fighting over aristrocrats in the galaxy to rebuild it faster.

---
Neal Stephenson - Cryptonomicon

Techno-Pop and Cyber-Punk. Six different strands of acting (from WW2 up to today) become one. All about cryptography and political issues. Heavy.

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Neal Stephenson - Diamond Age

Futuristic cyber-punk. Young girl gets grown up and taught only by an electronic book. Rise and fall of a whole system.

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Well thats it ;-)

the fifth gospel, or the devil's party in moscow.

don't fuck the devil... you might find yourself in odessa

only the good survive... do they?

(master and margerita by mikhail bulgakov)

Brother Of Sleep - Robert Schneider

endogamy made me a real good organ player.

Stupid White Men - Michael Moore

better be white...and rich...or move to europe

The Very Hungry Caterpillar - Eric Carle
egg, caterpillar, pupa, butterfly

You're ugly, you're alone, you're thirsty. You're a SON OF A BITCH on shining wheels!

Ham on Rye - Charles Bukowski

You're ugly, you're alone, you're thirsty. You're a SON OF A BITCH on shining wheels!

Vacuum Diagramms -- Stephen Baxter

500 Billion years, Entropy wins

Das Boot -- Buchheim

war sucks, life in a submarine, too