YA READY FOR YOUR TURKEY DINNER?

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I dunno.. I heard something about Trader Joe's, the Freemasons, and the Illuminati

do knut (donut), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:38 (eighteen years ago) link

I think depending on where you live vension can be quite feasible. I mean it's highly unlikely you'll ever run into a turkey with your car.

Yeah, I guess it could be. The only time I've had venison is when my dad used to go bow hunting and would sometimes bag a deer, so I just don't anticipate getting venison anytime soon.

Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:39 (eighteen years ago) link

There is debate, however, if the original pilgrims had less "fizzy" Dr. Joe's soda or not.

do knut (donut), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Is your dad Ted Nugent?

andy --, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:42 (eighteen years ago) link

My dad has done the same thing, it is not exactly uncommon.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:44 (eighteen years ago) link

My dad thinks Ted is a poseur.

Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

TED NUGENT SAID:

I'm a Bad American - this pretty much sums it up for me. I like big trucks, big boats, big houses, and naturally, pretty women.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or make me mad.

This is my life to live, and not necessarily up to others expectations.

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; I just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers shouldn't have had to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will.

Get over it.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the previous line.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation do a recount when needed. I know what the definition of lying is, and it isn't based on the word "is" -ever.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or any thing else, while the indigenous peoples can't get past a high school education because they can't afford it. I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.

Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said - now leave the document alone, or there's going to be trouble.

I don't hate the rich. I help the poor. I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned, or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either. Please stop blaming me because some prior white people were idiots - and remember, tons of white, Indian, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too - it was wrong for every one of them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal Democrat with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know exactly which church is it where the "Reverend" Jessie Jackson preaches; and, what exactly is his job function.

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime, then you will serve the time.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male.

If someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime. We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child. It takes a parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO!" when it's necessary to do so.

I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right.

I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by some people's definition, I may be a bad American.

But that's tough.

Ted Nugent

andy --, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:47 (eighteen years ago) link

My dad apparently claimed to have hunted deer once. I think this is what really happened...

http://www.thejump.net/humor/deer-thief.jpg

do knut (donut), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:48 (eighteen years ago) link

When I returned to TX from NY I lived out in the hill country for awhile (semi-rural, good half-hour from Austin). Lemme say that after a night out at show, the pitch dark drive home was made even more terrifying by the deer who would often jump into my headlights.

car + deer = you're fucked.

Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Jones Soda has gone overboard with the brussel sprout and broccoli casserole sodas, imo.

Miss Misery - have you seen the movie Straight Story?

Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 18:57 (eighteen years ago) link

My Georgia relatives usually have venison, Brunswick stew, and a vinegary pork BBQ the day before Thanksgiving, On the day it's whatever the young men have shot that morning. Seriously. One year we had 55 dove, each one wrapped in a slice of bacon and smoked.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 19:19 (eighteen years ago) link

This is what it tastes like...when doves cry.

Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 19:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Two words for anyone thinking about eating roadkill: ruptured intestines. You don't want to be eating that shit (literally).

Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 19:45 (eighteen years ago) link

is there much meat on a dove?

Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 19:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Romany gypsies have a hedgehog dish, cooked on the coals w/ the innards intact! I read it in "Among the Gypsies."

andy --, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Koopa, no, there's not. That's why they had to add the bacon, I guess.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:16 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread has turned strangely delicious.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, who could possibly anticipate a thread about Thanksgiving dinner turning into a discussion of delicious food? (WTF Ned?)

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:28 (eighteen years ago) link

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001LE7OS.01-AT39QKIE0XGB7._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

PILGRIM & INDIAN GAY LUV!!

andy --, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.medienkunstnetz.de/assets/img/data/365/bild.jpg

Okay, I typed in fucking 'cornucopia' and this is what I got... WTF?

andy --, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

'Cornucopia' or 'fucking cornucopia'?

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:36 (eighteen years ago) link

There was an actual turkey just hanging out in Battery Park three days ago! Just moseying along and nibbling at the ground. I mean, what the Sam Hain??

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:41 (eighteen years ago) link

New side dishes we're trying this year:

Apple sausage stuffing
Sherry-soaked cranberry sauce

Did anyone else see that the creator of Stove Top stuffing just died? Perfect timing (as far as deaths go).

Also, for a chance of pace, one might try deep frying the turkey. I know several folks who swear by it (though I have no idea what they do with the grease at the end).

Question: will NPR do their annual Thanksgiving chefs-bring-food thing, now that Bob Edwards is gone?

Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

That Pilgrim/Indian picture really *is* strangely homoerotic. The corn, people, the corn.

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Question: will NPR do their annual Thanksgiving chefs-bring-food thing, now that Bob Edwards is gone?

Hmmm, I dunno, I enjoyed hearing Martha Stewart read Grandma Stamberg's cranberry sauce recipe, though.

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

silly Americans... Thanksgiving was last month!

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Please don't talk to me about Thanksgiving...I've had a quietly hellish week at a new job, am renovating my girlfriend's apartment, and really want to veg out...

57 7th (calstars), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link

57 7th, this is when you give thanks for a nice restaurant where you eat and someone else both cooks and cleans up.

Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 21:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Why does my mom insist on inviting the most annoying people in the world to my house? Because we wouldn't want to spend Thanksgiving "alone." No, of course we would rather spend it with random annoying people.

Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 23:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Mary, if you actively try to be as gregarious as possible with everyone there, maybe the time will go quickly. Anyway, we have strangers coming to ours too and that's going to be my strategy.

57 7th (calstars), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 23:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, who could possibly anticipate a thread about Thanksgiving dinner turning into a discussion of delicious food? (WTF Ned?)

*coughs* I referred to the dove and hedgehog digressions in particular, immediately preceding my post.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 November 2005 01:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Mary, does this mean I'm not invited any more?

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:17 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm going to my first ever thanksgiving dinner tonight! i have an american friend who misses the tradition seeing as we don't celebrate it here. i'm excited. i love turkey! is there a traditional gift i should bring for my host?

gem (trisk), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:34 (eighteen years ago) link

the blood of an unbeliever

strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:38 (eighteen years ago) link

i don't want to scar myself

gem (trisk), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:39 (eighteen years ago) link

alternately a nice pie

strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I am being forced to go shopping at 6am the following morning with my boyfriend's mother. :(

He will owe me a baby for this.

Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, that's pretty steep, but it is a day straight outta hell for shopping.

jim wentworth (wench), Thursday, 24 November 2005 03:54 (eighteen years ago) link

We're having Thanksgiving on Friday with Mr Vegemite's family, smoked turkey pieces, green bean casserole, cheesy mashed potatoes...I'm in charge of Pumpkin Pie this year. I'm just praying that my mother-in-law doesn't reprise the sweet potato/marshmallow travesty of the previous year. (Who the hell dreamed up that winner of a dish, I wonder. Hats off for sheer "WTF??" value.)

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 November 2005 04:04 (eighteen years ago) link

dude, dont hate on yamallows

strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 November 2005 04:08 (eighteen years ago) link

i was going to make a turkey this year, but you know what?

this beer has pumpkin in it.

happy thxgiving!

'you' vs. 'city hall' FITE (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 04:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Okay, apologies to yamallow fans out there. I have to admit that the combination definitely appeals to my inner child. Sweet potatoes & I simply don't get along anyway, with or without marshmallows, if the truth be known...

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 November 2005 05:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Tracer, your face at the turkey dinner would significantly improve the proceedings.

Re the gregariousness, it doesn't matter if I am mute, dumb and etc., the tag-team couple visitors have a well-rehearsed shtick which proceeds be ears deaf or not. The kind of talkers who don't even pause long enough to hear you say "oh...?" nor look to a nod of the head for approval to coninue.

Mary (Mary), Thursday, 24 November 2005 05:07 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.morrissey-solo.com/news/2002/images/chloe_reuters20021122.jpg

StanM (StanM), Thursday, 24 November 2005 17:13 (eighteen years ago) link

NEW YORK - A giant balloon at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade snagged a street light near Times Square and caused part of it to fall into the crowd, injuring two people, according to police and eyewitness accounts.

The accident happened near the end of the parade when the balloon's tethers became entangled on the head of the street lamp, about 2 1/2 feet in diameter, and knocked it off.

The 26-year-old woman and 11-year-old girl were apparently hurt by the debris. They were in stable condition at the Bellevue Hospital emergency room, said hospital administrator Peter Schectman. The nature of their injuries was not immediately known.

"It happened so fast," said parade spectator Karim Simmons, of Queens. "I said, 'Oh, my God!' It dropped like a rock."

The circumstances were an echo of a 1997 accident, when two people were seriously injured when 45 mph winds forced a "Cat in the Hat" balloon into a metal pole on Central Park West.

Officials then set guidelines that would limit the use of balloons if wind threatened to be too strong.

Parade organizers were given the go-ahead to use the balloons this year, but ordered them tethered on shorter lines because of some moderate breezes at the parade's start.

It was not immediately clear if wind played a factor in this year's accident, which involved the "M&Ms" balloon.

Among those watching was 85-year-old Ron Kahn, who took pictures while perching on a ladder.

"This is wonderful. It's part of New York," Kahn said.

Sayra Hernandez watched from a side street with her son, Lucas, 4, sitting on her shoulders.

"It seems better on TV, maybe more glamorous, not this hectic," said Hernandez, 30, of Manhattan. "But the smile on my kid's face is priceless."

(edited for clarity)

gear (gear), Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Yamallows reared their ugly head this year, along with a diabolical pie topping known only as "pumpkin fluff." Diabetic coma imminent. Losing the will to watch the Lions get whomped.

d4niel coh3n (dayan), Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Okay here's what I made:

bottom layer: thin slices of blue potato and sweet potato
next layer: saute of onion, garlic, chickpeas, eggplant cubes, parsnip cubes, turnip cubes
next layer: thin slices of portobella mushrooms
next layer: another saute layer
next layer: another potato layer
top layer: toasted bread crumbs

I'll bake it and let you know how it turns out. It might suckkk.

The Obligatory Trencherman, Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:58 (eighteen years ago) link

mmm that sounds good. It might get really soggy though--maybe stick more bread on top, or even lasagne sheets, and turn the whole thing upside down partway through?

teeny (teeny), Thursday, 24 November 2005 20:03 (eighteen years ago) link

My family has gone insane and is embarking on the whole deep-fat-turkey-frying thing. So far this seems to involve the men of the house standing around in the driveway with their hands in their pockets, staring at a bucket of boiling oil. Bonding!

Updates from the burn ward to come.

Stephen X (Stephen X), Thursday, 24 November 2005 20:36 (eighteen years ago) link

The crazy annoying people are here. The colonel bounds up the stairs and booms: HOW ARE THINGS IN THE LIBRARY BUSINESS? WHAT DOES A LIBRARIAN ACTUALLY DO? I, MEAN, I KNOW THEY CHECK BOOKS OUT..." me, cringe. I sat with them for half an hour to make small talk while my mom put the finishing touches on the turkey. Now she is with them and I am hiding in my room and listening to Bright Eyes.

Mary (Mary), Thursday, 24 November 2005 20:41 (eighteen years ago) link

https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIG.IElutMPQTYSx3psCdBrT?pid=ImgGn

| (Latham Green), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 19:12 (four months ago) link

ILE-branded ramen to pay for hosting, would support

Jordan s/t (Jordan), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 19:31 (four months ago) link

otm

werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 19:47 (four months ago) link

step 2: somehow tie in w everything bagel seasoning
step 3: profit

werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 19:48 (four months ago) link


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