"She's an indoor kitty..."

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You big liar, Andy: if you're supervising the kitty, it's hardly an "outdoor" cat! That's just, like, making your apartment bigger for a second. I read "let the cat out" and I'm thinking of proper cat-comes-and-goes-as-it-pleases type shit.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:16 (eighteen years ago) link

until I started forcing the issue
I agree w/Ally, et al. It sounds as if you have bigger problems than cat freedom, judging from the above

Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Andy totally wants to have sex with the cat.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:22 (eighteen years ago) link

I just don't understand where I (or Kenan or Jimmy or...) am supposed to let my cat out. I mean I haven't got a backyard at all. Not only that, but he hates even wandering into a hallway. When Tom first moved him to this apartment he hid in the closet for days, terrified of the house! Trust me, his quality of life would dive if we forced the issue of him being outside regularly. He hates HALLWAYS. He's completely agoraphobic. And yes, he was a rescued kitty, found running around on the LIE. I guess after that experience and then being shuttled into a tiny apartment with constant food and attention when he wanted and water and places to climb on, he had no interest in the great outdoors anymore. And, really, he does have a higher QOL than I do.

I mean, seriously, even if you have a backyard in the urban environment you shouldn't be letting the cat out, because one day he will jump fence to the neighbor's yard and then keep going. This is not such a big issue in a suburban environment, but in urban...next thing you know, you're hosting cat drug orgies.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:23 (eighteen years ago) link

The outdoors are overrated. It's just bugs, litter and hobos. It's not like they have to meet someone at a bar.

Mendoza Lineman (Carey), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:25 (eighteen years ago) link

*Pssst* Catnip? High grade, man!

xpost

M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Nabisco is right, it's an indoor kitty that's is gaining more and more freedom. But it was a Hunter's Point stray kitten and is pretty tough, so I don't worry about it too much. But no, it doesn't roll down to the fish monger's like Heathcliff.

andy --, Monday, 3 October 2005 17:25 (eighteen years ago) link

"Hey kitty, wanna see my backyard?"

The Ghost of Andy --: Felinophile (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:26 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread would make more sense if we were talking about indoor strippers.

Mendoza Lineman (Carey), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:30 (eighteen years ago) link

out in the backyard

then we go fetch it

This is not at all applicable for sooo many people and cats. If you have a nice neighborhood with no wandering wild animals and trust your cat to return, it might work. If you live in an apartment, hell no. I've only seen a couple cats that can work well with a leash, some just freeze up and refuse to move or go insane and try to rip it off.

Other cats absolutely refuse to be "fetched" and will run like hell if any human approaches them while outside. If you don't have a porch where the cat can return hours later, you're screwed.

Domesticated housecats aren't necessarily outdoor animals. They also enjoy live food a lot more than dead stuff, but I don't see very many people releasing mice in their house when it's mealtime for the cat. If you forced a cat to live off of what it can catch, you'd be considered inhumane.

mike h. (mike h.), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:31 (eighteen years ago) link

They also enjoy live food a lot more than dead stuff, but I don't see very many people releasing mice in their house when it's mealtime for the cat.

THAT. WOULD. BE. AWESOME.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe in your house.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I bought him a Burberry leash and harness to take him outside. Mr. Kitty likes to wear the harness but doesn't care for the leash or the outside part of the deal. So he just wears a jaunty vest now, it's cool.

xpost there's where mike is wrong, I do that all the time.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I mean, seriously, even if you have a backyard in the urban environment you shouldn't be letting the cat out, because one day he will jump fence to the neighbor's yard and then keep going. This is not such a big issue in a suburban environment, but in urban...next thing you know, you're hosting cat drug orgies.

http://www.sfspca.org/WhereWeStand/wherewestand_jan_02.shtml

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I think Greg Ginn's really into that trap & spay scene. That's his bag, man.

andy --, Monday, 3 October 2005 17:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Cat colonies!!!!!!!!!

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:37 (eighteen years ago) link

My ex-wife and I let the cats 'go outside' in San Francsico but that was only cause we lived on the first floor of an apartment building which had a huge courtyard that had no access to the street so they were safe. Most indoor cats have no idea how to fight a 'real' street cat, don't know how to kill their prey, and often don't even have a good sense of direction. One of my cats got out during a party once and I genuinely thought I'd lost her unitl she answered my calls the next day: she was at the back door of the equivalent floor of the mostly identical looking building next to ours.

Also, andy, when I got my newest cat from animal care and control, I had to promise not to let the cat out. I'm not saying I follow their strictures religiously or anything, but I imagine they have good reasons for not wanting domesticated cats outside, most of which have to do with the cat's safety.

M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

my cat changy, a 15 year old neutered longhair tom, is very happy to explore the gardens near me. he is an old bruiser, blind in one eye, and he seems to get a kick out of surveying the surrounding area, lording over it like some old general.

i could never keep him in, and i'm not sure its safer either. the other night, a crane fly zipped in the house and started bothering him. it irritated him enough to clump it down in one slow, graceful, bloodthirsty movement, and then he stuffed the still-jittering bug into his fluffy white chops. the look on his face as he tasted it will live on in laughter for years.

ihttp://www.flickr.com/photos/steviechickfoxyboxer/48742114/

foxy boxer (stevie), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Cats should only be allowed outside once a year, during winter, in order to laugh at them trying to walk daintily in the snow.

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:40 (eighteen years ago) link

When ALF eats the cat don't come crying to me.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Jordan OTM

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:54 (eighteen years ago) link

nuh
http://static.flickr.com/24/48742114_4f60c7b972.jpg?v=0

foxy boxer (stevie), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:56 (eighteen years ago) link

humane society of the u.s. article

it was a different shark (wetmink2), Monday, 3 October 2005 17:58 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.hsus.org/web-files/People_and_Animals/184x265_woman_with_cat.gif

What, exactly, is this woman doing????

The Ghost of It's A Cat, Not A Theremin (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:00 (eighteen years ago) link

"You're a nosy kitty. You know what happens to nosy kitties, don't you?"

k/l (Ken L), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:05 (eighteen years ago) link

What the hell does the Humane Society know about animal welfare?

andy --, Monday, 3 October 2005 18:11 (eighteen years ago) link

That is a big fucking cat.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:11 (eighteen years ago) link

You've got the job. Let me just check one thing.

(xpost)

k/l (Ken L), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:13 (eighteen years ago) link

It's just bugs, litter and hobos.

Gear! takes care of the latter for us. He just needs to train the cats.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:15 (eighteen years ago) link

The thing is, the cat will be timid and well-behaved when you first let them out, but eventually the cat will wander further and further, and be pushy and aggressive about getting outside.

My cat is declawed (previous owner), and has never been let loose outside. The cat never had a desire to escape the previous owner's house (even though all her other cats did). This is why I chose her to live in my 5th floor apartment building in downtown SF. It's a perfect match. Each situation is different. Some cats go ape-shit if they are never let outside. Mine rarely feels the need to sit on the window sill, let alone get out. Also, my cat is a Siamese. I've heard from various people that Siamese aren't as interested in getting out.

recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah Siamese and Siamese mixes are more interested in making as much noise as possible, than they are in going outside.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:22 (eighteen years ago) link

The thing is, the cat will be timid and well-behaved when you first let them out, but eventually the cat will wander further and further, and be pushy and aggressive about getting outside.

My experience is completely the reverse - when I didn't let him out, stopping him getting out was a terrible struggle, because whenever the front door was opened he'd dash for it. Now, he's fairly calm and much less aggressive about getting out.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:27 (eighteen years ago) link

Allyzay OTM. Sometimes I want to let her out of the apartment, via the window (5 floors up).

recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I have only had Siameses as a teenager, and boy do they like to yell and carry on like freaking lunatics. I'm pretty certain Mr. Kitty is a Siamese mix, though I have no way to know for sure, based on A) his physical characteristics besides coloring B) THE FACT THAT ALL HE DOES IS SCREAM 24 HOURS A DAY. I've never seen an animal with SO MUCH to tell me. And it's like, shut the fuck up, I don't even understand your language and it probably amounts to "Did you know the human head weights 8 pounds??" Oh my god. Headache inducing sometimes.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I thought he maybe wanted to go outside, hence the vest and leash that cost nearly $100. But no, he didn't want to go outside because that upset him a lot. He just wanted to stare at his reflection in the glass and SCREAM at himself. Ugh. Stupid animal.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

i keep singing this thread title to the Pinball Wizard chorus.

my name is john. i reside in chicago. (frankE), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I have an irrational fear that I've posted all of my anecdotes here before (is there a word for that?) but one time my kitty ESCAPED from the apartment and like an hour later my neighbor rang the doorbell and said "Is this your kitty?" and kitty was trembling all sweaty and weeping inside a cardboard box in the hallway less than two feet from my apartment door, which was as far as she'd gotten.

Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:38 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.lostiniraq.com/images/thumbs/thumb_charles-74.jpg

"Did you know Barbie's measurements, if projected to adult size, would be 38-18-34?"

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:39 (eighteen years ago) link

There was this one time ("one time") he climbed right up onto my chest while I was on the computer typing some paper or another ("paper"), and stared me right in the eyes with this MAD expression and started YELLING. Over and over and over, he wouldn't shut up, and I'd bat him off and he'd come running back to do the same thing. And he had food, and water, and I would try to pet him...still, same thing. Yowling at top voice and STARING, like 3 inches off my nose. Then he started purring and poofed out his whiskers and ran to sit on top of the fridge. Who knows what that was about!!! Still better than the time he threw all my liquor on the floor while making that same crazy face!! Ever tried to clean schnapps and cat hair off a floor? It never comes off.

I'm convincing myself to bring the cat outside, this is for certain.

My sister's cat likes to go outside. He is also a Siamese. he screams and yells and howls...until someone blows cigarettes on him, or lets him smell a bleach bottle. This is what the outdoors does to a domestic animal.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha!

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Uh, Paul, I don't think cats can generally sweat or cry, it might time for a little trip to the vet.

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:46 (eighteen years ago) link

(Where he said "cat" he meant "kidnapped eight-year-old girl".)

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Enzo enjoys the great outdoors. But he's not allowed outside unless he wears his harness (getting that thing on is a bitch and a half) and I'm on the other end of the leash. He's a total spaz and stuff like leaves scare the bejeezus out of him. He will occassionally stand on his back legs and stick his arms up towards me as if to say "enough, take me back in." Plus, a bee stung him once outside and that was a motherfucking disaster. I lost a year off my life as a result.

Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:49 (eighteen years ago) link

my cats are indoor, and they're fine. we have a big enough house for them to run around in, and a screened in back porch area that allows them to get fresh air.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Aw, Enzo. We should have a CAT FAP. And place bets on the winner.

Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally, that's kitty's way of saying "pay attention to me, and pay attention NOW! I want to play and you're paying far too much attention to that silly computer thing/glass you're drinking from (fill in the blank with the current thing offending kitty). They like the chase game a lot as they get older, so they get your attention and then run so you chase them. They then want to chase you in return. Poor stupid things but they do provide hours of amusement for people like me who are easily amused.

Guidelines for Cats

Doors:
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

Chairs and Rugs:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

Bathrooms:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything . . . just sit and stare.

Hampering:
If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.

For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.

For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim-to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.

Wiggy (Wiggy), Monday, 3 October 2005 18:57 (eighteen years ago) link

For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

I have to add, if you see, hear, or smell someone somewhere in the house sit on the floor and open a newspaper in front of them, come immediately and sit right smack on top of the article they're reading.

it was a different shark (wetmink2), Monday, 3 October 2005 19:12 (eighteen years ago) link

my cat loves to talk, too. i know she gets bored when i'm not home, too, because i often come home and yarn is strewn around the living room and all my makeup sponges are in a little pile. (she loves them makeup wedge thingies)

Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 3 October 2005 19:13 (eighteen years ago) link

I've grown to love that bookreading thing. In fact it is a lot less distracting than, say, somebody talking to you or somebody watching television.

k/l (Ken L), Monday, 3 October 2005 19:15 (eighteen years ago) link

jimbeaux's cat:

https://i.imgur.com/Qms7YD0.gif

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 17 October 2023 00:49 (six months ago) link

Give it another 50 years, and cats and owls will evolve into a symbiotic relationship where the owls pick up the cats in their talons and do regular air raids on smaller bird societies, splitting the spoil in two. You’re cat could have been the start of a new zoological revolution.

Peach’s burner account (H.P), Tuesday, 17 October 2023 00:51 (six months ago) link

Lol Trayce

Peach’s burner account (H.P), Tuesday, 17 October 2023 00:51 (six months ago) link

(I'm sorry if that was insensitve, I didnt mean it to be!)

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 17 October 2023 02:25 (six months ago) link


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