Kids say the darndest things

"Daddy, can you turn on the warm conditioning?"

It took me awhile to understand that my Australian mother-in-law also meant heating when she referred to "air-conditioning". I guess having heat blow out of the vents does change the condition of the air, but still.

EA's just thinking beyond us all, is what I'm saying.

Entire convo w Lulu is magic.

Henry was sick most of last week. High fevers that required Tylenol. The fevers stopped by Saturday but occasionally, over the weekend, he would ask for medicine which he was refused. On Tuesday night he was mad at me because it was close to bedtime and he wanted none of it.

Me: 'Henry, we need to head upstairs to bed.'
Henry: 'NO!'
Me: 'Yes. You've got 5 minutes then we need to go up after that, okay?'
Henry: 'No! You're not my friend, Mama!!'
Me: 'Okay but we're still going up to bed'

Suddenly he jumps up on the couch next to me and grabs my face with both hands. He pulls my face right up to his and says in a low, menacing growl:

Henry: 'Give me medicine, Mama. I...AM...VERY...SICK'

I guess we know who to watch out for on the substance abuse front.

'No! You're not my friend, Mama!!'

Ugh we get this like every day right now. Also "You're not invited to my party!"

The arguments over possession are ridiculous. Fortunately, Beeps is growing out of it, but still. They get into fights in the car over who owns "yellow."

The color. That's not some nickname for a stuffed animal or anything.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VX79afS5-cY/TOU4x0zZyGI/AAAAAAAABVw/1fr22tPB-jg/s1600/own1.jpg

That would be Henry's. Beeps owns the sun.

Also "You're not invited to my party!"

― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, November 8, 2013 11:14 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OH!! This would kill me.

But maybe not after hearing that and you're not my friend for the 200th time. Then I'd be like yeah yeah I got enough friends kiddo get yr tush in that bed.

I actually said to him the other night, "I know I'm not your friend. I'M YOUR DADDY."

That shut him up for once, albeit for five minutes.

AW! That's a good answer though.

Maybe. I wasn't going to be ready for whatever the next question was going to be.

That would be Henry's. Beeps owns the sun.

At some point it was really really important to my sister that she owned Lake Michigan.

that book needs a crying indian looking on from the side

Well if you think that the king succeeds at being horrific that's a definition of "tough" that's as valid as any surely

I know ppl who'd never go near a macabre story about children dying, for reasons that needn't be explained, yet would have no problem enjoying the obvious pleasures of a great book that happens to have an unusual ("difficult") style or structure

That would be Henry's. Beeps owns the sun.

Dalton combing non-USB end of iPhone charging through the dog.

Me: What the hell are you doing?

Dalton: I'm just taking her protein.

Me: Why?

Dalton: I need it.

Dalton keeps doing it.

Dalton: Now I am shaving her Daddy.

Me: Okay.

Dog: wtf

I'm just taking her protein!

LOL

lol

bwahaha

bathtime discussion last night

S: Daddy, does everything die?
Me: Ummmm
S: [farts loudly / laughs uproariously]

ME: hey, little man. How are you?
HB: I'm Henry!

•••

ME: So, what should we have for dinner tonight?
HB: Not me!

K likes me to tell her that different baby animals are going to sleep when she's in her crib falling asleep. Lately she started suggesting her own -- "Baby tiger. Baby raccoon. Baby tree. Baby light. Baby schnitzel. Baby snowflake" etc.

lol baby schnitzel

not saying so much as drawing but:

in Feb my brother is getting married at the national gallery gardens in melb

recently my 6 yo nephew went on a class excursion to the gallery, to see a Monet exhibition. he came home with a postcard, saying this was his favorite painting
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r1a-7OVQHV4/TWb41Xv5P0I/AAAAAAAAEbM/1jkbplItMWo/s1600/cakeify-hurray.gif

at some point his mum, my sister, told him "Uncle Adam & Caitlin are getting married there"

he went off to his room & drew a picture of my brother & his fiancee in their wedding gear standing on monet's bridge. he thought my sister meant they were getting married on the bridge

<3 <3 <3

oops not cupcake lol but this

http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/ep/mobile-large/DT1854.jpg

<3 cupcake was a nice touch

:D

I know the person who drew that cupcake!

!

Here is her website, for all your cupcake merch needs: http://www.askingfortrouble.org

Yesterday Owen (a budding atheist): "If [his friend in school] Marissa says that god made himself, then I would say 'how did he make himself?' and Marissa's mind would be blown."

Yesterday on the Subway
K (21 months): "Mozart!"
Me: Um... I don't have Mozart. We can't listen to Mozart right now.
K: "Mahler!"

already indoctrinated in the academy of the overrated eh

D (coming out of bedroom for one of his nightly DAD THIS CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE JAUNTS): Daddy! Daddy! I have to tell you something.

Me (pauses movie): What is it?

D (with gravitas): Dad I need you to put my pants on.

Me: Dalton you're already wearing pants.

D (amazed): I am wearing pants....

lol

Today two toddlers at my school's daycare waved and yelled at me to get my attention, then said "hi Ariel!!!" to me! Made my day.

!! that is so great

Evie laying in bed, supposed to be going to sleep, she's been quiet for a while, then:
E: Daddy, from now on I'm going to be good.
Me: Oh Evie, you are good, most of the time. You're a good girl. And I love you and Mommy loves you.
E: yeah. And I like boogers.

huge lol.

hahaha bedtime conversation is always most hilarious. It's like they take this brief moment of not bouncing off walls to reflect deeply.

The comic timing of it was so perfect that I started cracking up. So then of course instead of going to sleep, she kept saying things about boogers in funny voices to try and make me laugh.

Hahahaha <3 love that kid.

"Maybe..."
(pause, small sigh)
"I was going to say something boring."

Never stops my kids!

I taught my daughter this:

Me: Where does daddy go during the day?
K: Office.
Me: Why does he go there?
K: Make money.
Me: And why do we need money?
K: Buy food.

Beeps has been motoring through all of the Charlie Brown holiday specials this weekend. During a quiet hour, I gave her some of my old Peanuts to read. She wrapped herself in a blanket and was actually quiet for a little bit.

Asked her tonight what she thought, and she said she loved them! "I had no idea Snoopy could talk!"

Never thought about it, but I guess it would be surprising to go from squeaky laughing beagle to dark and stormy watchdog with one eye peeled on the cat next door.

I'm giving my wife a hug and Dalton runs up and hugs her legs.

Me: Look it's a Mommy sandwich!

Dalton (super-excited): I want to be PEANUT BUTTER!

(during a diaper change)

A: I'm naked now!
H_L: yep. just for a minute though.
A: What's on my cskhskhskhskhsh-wotch*?
H_L: What?
A (insistent): What's on my cskhskhskhskhsh-wotch?
H_L: Oh, uh, not much. A diaper, now.
A: cskhskhskhskhh-wazy!

*"crotch", but with the "c" sound drawn out to approximate hocking a loogie as well as an "r"/"w" inversion.