Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

like i'd bet even money that or some permutation will be in the three selected

"If I'd been born in 1159, when the world was steadier, I might well have felt, at 53, that the next generation would share my values and appreciate the same things I appreciated; no apocalypse pending. But I was born in 1959, when TV was something you watched only during prime time, and people wrote letters and put them in the mail, and every magazine and newspaper had a robust books section, and venerable publishers made long-term investments in young writers, and New Criticism reigned in English departments, and the Amazon basin was intact, and antibiotics were used only to treat serious infections, not pumped into healthy cows. It wasn't necessarily a better world (we had bomb shelters and segregated swimming pools), but it was the only world I knew to try to find my place in as a writer."

"Can you find my dead wife, Ella Phantzgerald, on Facebook?"

hahah

"Netscape?"

Or "In my day we DIDN'T forget"

"That thing will give you whirlpool knees!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/04/g290/131104_contest_g290.jpg

• I'm really more of a painter-gatherer."
• "Me thought Ugg just bad artist."
• "We use every part of the animal, even the rhombus."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/18/p465/131118_contest_p465.jpg

MOM!!!

"has it really been four score and seven years?"

What the fuck with ghis one

i'm not sure. maybe the mirror is supposed to show the other side of his face? so the left half of his face looks like lincoln but the right looks like some aging guy?

i like how baffling it is, though. they should just print the angry letters they get rather than the captions

i am having a really hard time seeing that wall join as heading anywhere but in the wrong direction, escher's bathroom shit imo

the key question for me is, is the reflection in the mirror supposed to illustrate this man's sudden realization that he resembles Abe? or is it supposed to show that he IS Abe?

perspective being trusted, it's not his reflection tbh

i mean this is quite clearly a man shaving through the window of abraham lincoln's house

it is a picture of abe lincoln in pajamas with the same bathroom tile walls, hung above the sink

honey, do you think i need to shave before going to the theater?
mom, can you draw the 3d lines for me again?
dad, can you send me money? i can't draw worth shit.

"oh boy"

"I HAVEN'T FINISHED SHAVING YET!"

"If I had five minutes to shave, I'd spend four of those minutes sharpening my razor."

"This Apple iMirror's not working properly again."

"Although my beard is widely considered my signature I feel sure that the public will still be able to identify me, Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States of America, from my stupid hat."

"darling, abraham lincoln's appearing in the mirror again, and the sink hasn't any tap, and this door has no handle."

"i am sure i must have said as much before, but this seems like it would be a really good place to have a mirror"

"I just don't feel like a great emancipator without it"

mine was a quantum leap reference

not bad, but without the explanation i'm afraid most would miss it

both the caption and the tv show would've been much better if the person leaping was abe lincoln

get me outta here hannibal

It's official, I've finally turned into my forefather.

vg, better than the cartoon deserves tbh

how about:

"oh boy" (as often uttered in dismay at the end of episodes of '90s US TV show quantum leap by the main character - whose consciousness travels through time and space and into the body of someone other than himself (soemtimes a figure from history) - when the face of his new host body that will feature in the subsequent episode is revealed as he glimpses its reflection in e.g. a bathroom mirror)

I've got $5 o'clock shadow.

"Well, here's another cartoon for the waste bin"

"The lighting in here makes me look like a total abe"

"What the hell have I been drinkin'?"

dude looks like he has burning man style earplugs

"I could've sworn the ad said FREE THE SHAVES..."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/11/g290/131111_contest_g290.jpg

• "What do you mean you can't remember the password?"
• "Still afraid to use the mouse?"
• "You don't need more memory."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/25/p465/131125_contest_p465.jpg

"He's inside"

"Et In Arcadia Ego"

"Republicans managed to shut down Sesame Street after all, huh?"

"There's a shortage of duck, so we had to make your Turducken with a pig instead."

"Have you got a big baster?"
"No ma'am, it's just the way my trousers are hanging."

We made the newsie-wewsies

"No, a great little free-range poultry farm down Fukushima way."