no boys allowed in the room!!!!

I wish you had been there during that threadpisode! Bunch of people with penises telling everyone how female oppression all works!

haha! I grew wary of discussing tv and movies on ilx after a film poll where i got shit from a couple of male posters for saying that I just couldn't get past the sexist stereotypes in "Almost Famous" in terms of appreciating that film

i love skyler!

I liked Marie! We named one of our cats for Marie (the other cat is Gus).

― quincie, Monday, November 4, 2013 10:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i too have named a cat Gustavo during the run of Breaking Bad. you'll be pleased to no he currently runs our entire neighborhood.

i also love skylar and marie but it tookj a little time (more so with marie than skylab)

I really liked Skyler as a character but I got fed up of pointing out on that thread that she was kind of normal compared to regular 'tv wives'.

please forgive me but i was looking for a caption and this seemed amusing enough

Bunch of people with penises telling everyone how female oppression all works!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/a9012d58f82f60e7474d7dabf01952d3/tumblr_mtaqh4LxWr1rcq6xho1_500.jpg

haha! I grew wary of discussing tv and movies on ilx after a film poll where i got shit from a couple of male posters for saying that I just couldn't get past the sexist stereotypes in "Almost Famous" in terms of appreciating that film

― sarahell, Monday, November 4, 2013 11:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you were totally otm fwiw

there is this guy at work. he always talks over everyone! especially the ladies. one day i'm gonna lose it.

you know that phenomenon where you'll say something otm and a dude in your midst will agree but attribute your comment to some other dude in your midst? aka graduate school? seems related, makes me crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE3r_CgScms

i can totally hear this in your voice and it is killing me!
that phenomenon where you'll say something otm

oh yeah this guy is the office know-it-all. he does know a lot but sometimes he's just wrong. a lot of times he has repeated things i've said and art of pretend forgetfulnessed where they came from. i'm the real office know-it-all tbh.

you know that phenomenon where you'll say something otm and a dude in your midst will agree but attribute your comment to some other dude in your midst? aka graduate school? seems related, makes me crazy.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, November 5, 2013 9:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my life, i swear

i feel like that happens to me like 1000 times a day. not that im otm 1000 times a day, but that something ive said is attributed to a dude, or a dude takes credit for it, etc

I've been gone awhile...lots to catch up on.

It's weird bc usually I have a decent ear for things that are shitty but I don't think that has ever happened to me irl but it has on ilx at times--my post up top somewhere, 100 posts of ppl der-rama, a guy says the same thing, everyone agrees with him.

Maybe irl my very direct stare gives ppl second thoughts? Jk personal magnetism doesn't erase patriarchy.

yeah i mean, i have a pretty loud personality

I've been invisible on the porn thread.

a lot of guys (and some women) just only listen to/hear guys

This happens aaaaall the time at work.

"That 'no boys allowed' thread is always at the top of SNA but there are never any posts. So weird." xp

hahaha

"only occasionally do i see a post, but then it disappears soon after. what gives"

Ha!

related in women/language/being ahead of the curve
I FEEL LIKE

"So my tentative hypothesis would be that 'I feel like' is an idiom that's increasing in frequency in the language, so that younger people use it more than older people," he wrote. "Women use it more than men, because women are generally about a generation ahead of men in most cases of language change."

says Mark Liberman, hero/linguist

http://jezebel.com/ladies-whats-up-with-the-i-feel-like-verbal-tic-1184374148

i feel like that happens to me like 1000 times a day. not that im otm 1000 times a day, but that something ive said is attributed to a dude, or a dude takes credit for it, etc

Reminds me of this OTMness - about how women should 'avoid getting raped', from here:
"The other thing that cracks me up about that is, there's just so much energy put into that argument. Can you name me one other instance at your workplace, or in history, that a man hasn't been given full credit for his actions? You know what I mean? How often does a man do something and they're like...hmm...I think she's responsible. So this is not the one instance when we're gonna be like, "Thanks you guys! We should take credit for that!""

On another note, an acquaintance told me that their office interviewed a candidate who declared beforehand that for religious reasons he would not make eye c0ntact or any physical contact with women. This is in a very female office. I'm not sure how I would react to that.

That shit has no place in public, no one can stop you from being a religious bigot on your own time but keep it on your own time.

I have worked with people who would not shake hands with/touch/accept items directly from the hands of women.

Yeesh... that sort of thing rubs me the wrong way...

In my old office we had a woman who was slowly in decline and I kept bringing it to the attention of the supervisor because I suspected a lot was going on. I was told not to get into her personal life. She smelled like she was living on the street. She started pooping in her pants in the office leaving a mess on the floor all over the office. Finally she didn't show up for work after a freezing cold weekend and I told people she was probably dead. No one listened. After three days a co-worker who knew where she lived went to check in on her and she had died over the weekend. She had a diabetes problem and was refusing to take meds, had lost her husband earlier that year and he was found covered with a tarp decomposing in the backyard. ANYWAY! Point is, no one listened, everyone ignored all these HUGE signs and tried hard to ignore her.

Meanwhile, going on at the same time, male in the office was refusing to do his job duties claiming the government was tracking him online and they got him all sorts of help asap. For some reason EAP couldn't do a thing to help the female employee but did all it could to help the male.

It's just an extreme example of not being heard is what I have always thought.

The shocking lack of compassion for that poor woman aside, failing to address the fact that one of your employees is pooping in her pants and on the office floor is just really, really bad management.

Yeah, that's so sad and insane and omg I can't even believe that!

I work pretty much exclusively with women (there are 2 men in our office of maybe 40?) so I find all of this really bewildering. Likewise both my undergrad and grad programs were overwhelmingly female (go figure) so I feel like this something I've been really fucking lucky not to have to deal with often. My new office will be much more mixed. I'm going to be on the lookout for this kind of thing.

Also, what? Are you fucking kidding me?

I have worked with people who would not shake hands with/touch/accept items directly from the hands of women.

― carl agatha, Wednesday, November 6, 2013 1:12 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh wait - for religious reasons? Wow. Still.

Yeah, religious reasons.

The main boss, supervisors...all hid behind liability issues. By the time we got answers from a lawyer about what to do, it was too late. She was considered "functional" because she did her work, even though she was eating from the trash, her cubicle a bio-hazard, smelled so bad she was causing people to dry heave and stopped being social. She wouldn't answer questions unless they were work related. Was wearing the same clothing for 10 months straight! This was not how this woman had been conducting her life the previous 28 years of employment there. I was reprimanded for "making to much of it all" and stirring up things, other concerned co-workers were told the same thing. Again, looking back, only women were concerned. The lawyer said her supervisor could have called social services, explain the situation and request they visit her at her home.

Several women I worked with left recently because they felt they weren't being heard. The place is a mess.

Oh God this is the saddest story.

There is no liability there. WTF was wrong with your employers.

what kind of workplace is this?!

thats so outrageous

Seriously.

I was thinking about the issue of religious men not looking at or touching women--like, if your entire life is founded on behavioral conceits like those and you insist on inflicting them on others who didn't choose to be around you, the very, VERY least you could do (and I'm not sure this would even be enough) is work extra hard to listen to and talk to women in a way that shows you acknowledge them and aren't brushing them off. Like, okay, maybe we can't shake hands or use the same stapler (BUT WHAT ABOUT THE COPY MACHINE BUTTONS??), but if in meetings you support my ideas and give me credit in groups and you respect my workflow and stuff like that, we might be able to work constructively together.

But that's not how people are oriented, because crossing the line to refusing to look at women is actually shorthand for wishing they didn't exist AT ALL outside your prescribed roles for them. It's erasure. You're erasing women from the public sphere, and fuck you very much for that.

Yeah, I have a hard time finding a place of religious tolerance in that situation, too. Like, I'm sorry that you are worried I'm going to get my ~unstoppable slutty sex want~ all over your hand and make you unfaithful to your wife/your god/your purity of thought or whatever, but I am not entirely sure how that is my problem.

i'm really annoyed that there is a thread about a quest to stop a pantsuit

This was at the main library at a large Texas college. From what I hear the library itself is in decline due to a series of poor decisions and management that started in 2005.

But that's not how people are oriented, because crossing the line to refusing to look at women is actually shorthand for wishing they didn't exist AT ALL outside your prescribed roles for them. It's erasure. You're erasing women from the public sphere, and fuck you very much for that.
Exactly!

It isn't functional to not look co-workers in the eye, to be so worried about touching their hands...

I genuinely wonder how he gets through a normal day? I'm kind of interested in the reasoning behind this belief (sorry, but I refuse to distinguish a 'religious' belief from a regular belief). It got me thinking how I would respond to, say, someone who acted 'oddly' and not as per our cultural norms for other reasons, like autism, or whatever, and what assumptions we might make (although obv very different - a belief is a choice)
Anyway can someone make 'unstoppable slutty sex want' their DN pls?

I used to work at the Passport Office and saw all types. Religious men - lets not step delicately here, it is the very traditionalist muslim we're speaking of - would not only not want to deal with female staff members, I had one gent who would not allow his wife to present for her own passport application. He made her stay sitting at the back of the room. When I informed him it was the law she had to be at the desk in person and sign the form in my presence, he VERY grudgingly let her come up, mark a shaky, clearly illiterate "X" as a sig, then she scuttled back to her seat, cowed. He was bitter, angry and extremely pissed he had to take orders from a GIRL.

can i just say

you know that phenomenon where you'll say something otm and a dude in your midst will agree but attribute your comment to some other dude in your midst?

THIS. and/or talk right over me while i'm still talking. occasionally dudes have made a point by saying to me (and the group) the exact same thing i just said, the second i've stopped talking, like i wasn't even there, except for the idea they thought it was necessary to repeat as if they'd just thought of it themselves.

i gave up on the 'breaking bad' thread because it dawned on me that i was watching the show completely differently than the majority of participants in that conversation and there was no point in continuing there! skyler was a frustrating character because i kept wanting her to assert herself and walk away from this abusive relationship and it didn't really happen. i liked marie and i actually liked lydia sort of, and gus was the best imo

one of the things i appreciate about message boards is that ok, sure, people are free to misread your comments or ignore them or start pointless arguments or whatever, but they cannot actually barge in and talk right over you while you are still talking and haven't finished a sentence. (and then get offended if you don't shut up and let them talk over you)

After recently being at an event where a man got mad at what a woman was saying and yelled at her over her attempts to talk for like 5 minutes straight and stood up and waved his arms around and slung a cup of water at her, I feel sensitive to that kind of thing right now. Recently saw it on a talk show, or on a tv show? I can't rembemeber...and was like "No no no no no no."