no boys allowed in the room!!!!

and a temp ban

solid work. this thread is a treasure, no shit.

why like once a week does a man post in this thread

i saw that there were images but i was on my phone and didn't care to see what they were
why is a good question

Who was it?

I am wondering that myself, but loathe to give whoever it was any more of the attention he clearly craves.

I just want to know who I can safely ignore going forward. PM me!

well i wanna know too
i know the person's fake username but i doubt a random googler would register an account and img spam this thread

color definition point of "beyond "color, eg a transient that has been temporarily banned.

its luriqua

lol

to get us back to discussing ourselves i will start with discussing me: i have to see a rheumetologist to further narrow down what disease i have (lupus or MCTD or...??), but i don't have insurance :/ my doc at school called me today to say that the rheumatologist they refer to requires a downpayment before he will see someone without insurance. i hope its not insane.

*rheumatologist

Oh man, that just makes me so angry, the whole insurance thing.

Have you looked into buying insurance through the HCA at all?

i havent. i definitely need to explore some options.

Not to sound like a mom lol but if you're facing the possibility of managing a chronic health condition, you really should get some coverage. I worry about you!

thx mom :x

haw

So a few weeks ago I was in a public performance art piece that involved almost 500 ppl and all participants were organized around gender justice issues. There were a small number of men but it was woman-centered and the total participants were overwhelmingly women. It took place on a residential block so the local residents had to be cultivated to be on board w it even though they were a tiny minority.

Yesterday we had a follow-up "debriefing" mtg and a disproportionate number of men attended it (which is partly bc it was a cold Sunday night and not enough women came and the location was extremely convenient for the residents but not the participants) and yet the men were BY FAR more likely to have comments, speak up, and hold the floor for longer. With ZERO apparent consciousness that they were not the center of the event OR the follow-up.

So just in general, the fact that men are always trying to post in this thread reminds me of how irritated I was last night, but that's what always happens...somewhere it stops even being surprising.

All the things that irk me about gender injustice, I try to keep just as much in mind about racial justice ish because I live/work in a community of color with women of color and our work, which is around street harassment, involves inspecting Black masculinity and cultural standards. I keep quiet a lot even though that's not my nature at all, AND IT'S NOT THAT HARD. I mean it's work in the sense that I have to be conscious of it and not feel "free" to make other ppl listen to my ideas all the time, but it's not, like, IMPOSSIBLE. Dudes, take note.

Not to make myself sound good at it because I have messed up and been insensitive and put out phrases or ideas that aren't cool because I'm just not mindful of them, and luckily my group (I think?) respects my effort/intent and forgives me and still values my involvement. It's not all-or-nothing, it's a learning process. All that's asked of people is to be aware and try to do better.

So, like, w/r/t ilx dudes and my date from the other night and guys I talk to in general, you don't have to be all the way there with how you prioritize gender issues in your life. But you do have to SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN and not demand that things be about your feelings all the time.

fuck yes! well said

god, im dealing with something like this today. a (ostensibly liberal, activist ally-type) dude trying to intimidate me and another woman into silence.

Yeah, multiple of the men who were holding the floor last night also dropped their "activist" qualifications into the conversation! It's helping me understand the controversy around the word "ally" and how ppl sometimes act like it's a label that, once you achieve it, just stays with you like it's your resume, instead of being a *state of being* that you have to work at with your actions, forever.

How are you feeling as you deal with that? Are you getting support from a wider circle? You don't have to share anything more specific but if you want to I'm interested.

Hearing this a lot, particularly with respect to a Breaking Bad thread wherein some of ILX's MOST PROMINENT AND IMPORTANT FEMINIST DUDES just would not stfu and it just drives me nuts. I mean preaching white male privilege as a feminist authority when you are a white male is nagl when you are harping on and on and just not fucking shutting up and sitting down. OH THE IRONING.

Er that should actually read more like "Condescending to others about how you are so much more aware of white male privilege than anyone else in the room" is nagl when you are a white male and the topic is feminism.

i checked out of that thread once there started being more than a few dozen posts per day, what was the topic?

Topic was whether disliking the Skyler character made one anti-feminist and/or misogynist. And things got super preachy and I'm like fuck this I just want to talk about breaking bad, not be condescended to about the proper way to feel about the character and the actor who plays the character (lol I typed "actress" and changed it). It was captain save-a-ho shit such as I have never seen.

oh geez

I mean can we all agree that Skyler kinda sucked? I mean maybe we can't agree but that doesn't mean I think people who did not embrace that character actually have a deep-seated hatred of all of the womens.

she was one of my fave characters

and discussing how one feels about characters that are not "privileged" in terms of real world bias can be a worthwhile discussion -- i mean, this was a lot of what i studied in college -- but the dynamics of the discussion as you put it forth sounds aggravating

I thought her character and Anna Gunn's performances were both irksome, and yeah of course the writing of this particular female character was an issue and the fact that there were not a lot (any?) impressive female characters in Breaking Bad is also irksome, but basically it was some card-carrying (and waving it about dramatically) feminist dudes preaching about how we all just didn't understand oppression was just ugh too much for me.

i liked both Skyler and Marie, even though they weren't given as many interesting things to do or say as the male characters -- but maybe that was me projecting onto them?

I liked Marie! We named one of our cats for Marie (the other cat is Gus).

I mean maybe we can't agree but that doesn't mean I think people who did not embrace that character actually have a deep-seated hatred of all of the womens.

yeah, it is more complex than that, for sure

I wish you had been there during that threadpisode! Bunch of people with penises telling everyone how female oppression all works!

haha! I grew wary of discussing tv and movies on ilx after a film poll where i got shit from a couple of male posters for saying that I just couldn't get past the sexist stereotypes in "Almost Famous" in terms of appreciating that film

i love skyler!

I liked Marie! We named one of our cats for Marie (the other cat is Gus).

― quincie, Monday, November 4, 2013 10:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i too have named a cat Gustavo during the run of Breaking Bad. you'll be pleased to no he currently runs our entire neighborhood.

i also love skylar and marie but it tookj a little time (more so with marie than skylab)

I really liked Skyler as a character but I got fed up of pointing out on that thread that she was kind of normal compared to regular 'tv wives'.

please forgive me but i was looking for a caption and this seemed amusing enough

Bunch of people with penises telling everyone how female oppression all works!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/a9012d58f82f60e7474d7dabf01952d3/tumblr_mtaqh4LxWr1rcq6xho1_500.jpg

haha! I grew wary of discussing tv and movies on ilx after a film poll where i got shit from a couple of male posters for saying that I just couldn't get past the sexist stereotypes in "Almost Famous" in terms of appreciating that film

― sarahell, Monday, November 4, 2013 11:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you were totally otm fwiw

there is this guy at work. he always talks over everyone! especially the ladies. one day i'm gonna lose it.

you know that phenomenon where you'll say something otm and a dude in your midst will agree but attribute your comment to some other dude in your midst? aka graduate school? seems related, makes me crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE3r_CgScms

i can totally hear this in your voice and it is killing me!
that phenomenon where you'll say something otm

oh yeah this guy is the office know-it-all. he does know a lot but sometimes he's just wrong. a lot of times he has repeated things i've said and art of pretend forgetfulnessed where they came from. i'm the real office know-it-all tbh.